Presentation is loading. Please wait.

Presentation is loading. Please wait.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past,

Similar presentations


Presentation on theme: "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past,"— Presentation transcript:

1 The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company….a church….a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

2 We cannot change our past…….we cannot change the fact that people will act a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…..

3 ATTITUDES COMMUNICATE (WHAT ATTITUDE ARE YOU SENDING, AND HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE TREATED?) POSITIVE (+)ATTITUDESNEUTRALNEGATIVE(-)ATTITUDES ENTHUSIASM……………………………………………………INDIFFERENCE CURIOSITY………………………………………………………BOREDOM CONCERN……………………………………………………….APATHY HUMILITY………………………………………………………...EGOTISM FAITH……………………………………………………………..DISTRUST COOPERATION…………………………………………………BELLIGERENCE DETERMINATION……………………………………………….INDECISION SYMPATHY………………………………………………………COLDNESS TOLERANCE…………………………………………………….PREJUDICE KINDNESS……………………………………………………….SELFISHNESS GRATITUDE……………………………………………………..INGRATITUDE TRUST……………………………………………………………JEALOUSY OPTIMISM………………………………………………………..PESSIMISM SOCIABILITY……………………………………………………SHYNESS SELF-CONFIDENCE…………………………………………...INSECURITY TRUTHFULNESS……………………………………………….DISHONESTY CONTENTMENT………………………………………………..DISSATISFACTION

4

5

6

7 Three Things About Losses That All Children Should be Taught! Losses are a natural part of living. Grief is a normal part of any loss. Honesty is important.

8 Bury one’s feelings Replace the loss Grieve alone Just give it time Regret the past Don’t trust

9 Grieving Losses: A Natural Event Tangible: Capable of being touched Tangible vs. Intangible Losses

10 Tangible losses

11 Tangible vs. Intangible Losses Tangible: Capable of being touched Intangible: Not capable of being touched Tangible vs. Intangible Losses

12 Intangible Losses Most significant intangible losses Loss of Safety Loss of Purpose Loss of Significance Loss of Authenticity Loss of Eligibility Loss of Hope Loss of Dignity Loss of Power If left unresolved precipitate RAGE David Damico

13 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock

14 Red Cross Phase Emotional Symptoms: Initial “Dazed” state Constricted field of consciousness Narrowing of attention Anxiety Inability to comprehend stimuli Disorientation Withdrawal Agitation Overreacting

15 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock

16 Sympathy Sympathy says – I’m so sorry – what can I do for you? It’s doing for others what they can’t do for themselves. Sympathy is addictive: If we’re not careful, once they can do for themselves, our “helping” really becomes “enabling”.

17 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock

18 Empathy Empathy says – I’m so sorry for you – what are you going to do about it? It’s empowering individuals to take back responsibility and do for themselves what they’re capable of.

19 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock

20 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock Denial THE PIT

21 About Denial It’s a defense mechanism for a person faced with a fact that’s too uncomfortable to accept. So……………they reject it instead, insisting that it isn’t true despite overwhelming evidence.

22 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock Denial THE PIT Bartering What if – If only Guilt JustifiedUnjustified

23 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock Denial THE PIT Bartering Anger

24 Cycle of Anger and Guilt ANGER I’m angry at God that he/she died. GUILT It’s wrong to be angry at GOD. ANGER Why am I feeling Guilty? I didn’t make him/her die. GUILT But I should have seen this coming. ANGER No one warned me that death and grief would be like this! GUILT I should be strong enough to handle this! ANGER Why did he/she have to die and leave me in this mess? GUILT It wasn’t his/her fault. He/she didn’t want to die!

25 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock Denial THE PIT Bartering Anger ForgivingForgiving Blame

26 Unforgiveness - Is a poison we drink in the hope that someone else will die!

27 Forgiveness says…..  You are free from my need to hurt you back, my need to seek revenge, and my need to harbor resentment.  I am now free to move on with or with out you.  I am not chained to the past or to self-pity. Often the hardest to forgive is God or ourselves Forgive and forget?????

28 Mark Driscoll – Forgiveness is not:  Approving or Diminishing  Enabling bad behavior  Denying a wrongdoing  Waiting for an apology  Forgetting  Ceasing to feel the pain  A one time event  Neglecting justice  Trusting  Reconciliation

29 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock Denial THE PIT Bartering Anger ForgiveForgive

30 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock Denial THE PIT Bartering Anger Depression Friend Support Prof. Counseling Meds & Counseling (Watch for Self-Medicating) Inpatient Treatment Suicidal

31 Loss “Replacement Or Substitute”

32

33 Dog Brother Friend Aunt Spouse Mother Father

34 Loss “Replacement Or Substitute” Dog Brother Friend Aunt Spouse Father Step Mother Mother Girl Friend

35 Loss “Replacement Or Substitute” Dog Brother Friend Aunt Spouse Father Step Mother

36 Loss “Replacement Or Substitute” (For Young Women with Father Death/Abandonment) Dog Brother Friend Aunt Sister Mother Boy Friend Older Boyfriend Older Boy

37 Loss “Replacement Or Substitute” (For Young Women with Father Death/Abandonment) Dog Brother Friend Aunt Sister Mother Boy Friend Older Boyfriend Older Boy

38 Loss “Replacement Or Substitute” (For Young Women with Father Death/Abandonment) Dog Brother Friend Aunt Sister Mother Boy Friend Scar

39 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock Denia l THE PIT Bartering Anger Acceptance Depression

40 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock Denial THE PIT Bartering Anger Acceptance New Hope Depression

41 Hope Journey Through Loss Shock Denia l Bartering Anger Acceptance New Hope Depression

42 What Kids need to heal well From the work of Alan Wolfelt  Healthy relationships and a nurturing adult presence providing a stable world.  To move toward the pain of the loss while being supported physically, emotionally and spiritually.  To participate in ritual and memory work.  To give testimony of the loss to a witness. (repeatedly)  To acknowledge reality/develop a new self-identity.  To receive good, accurate information and support.  To be encouraged to ask questions.  To give expression and attach meaning to the loss.

43  Assure the child that he/she will be taken care of, loved, and cherished as before.  Reassure the child that he/she is not in danger of death.  Touch, hold, and hug the child age appropriately.  Allow the child to express his/her feelings and talk about the loved one.  Explain to the child that the person did not want or intend to die.  Reassure the child that the dead parent loved the child very much.

44  Explain that it was not the child’s fault the person died.  Don’t feel you have to explain why.  Encourage adults in the family to talk about the dead loved one in the presence of the children.  Explain to the child that the dead person cannot come back.  Encourage the child to ask questions about anything.  Answer honestly, simply, and directly – avoid cliché’s such as, “It must be God’s will for their lives”

45  Know that it is fairly normal for the child to regress to an earlier stage (bedwetting, etc.)  Allow them to write letters, draw pictures, etc. for their loved one.  Pick up good books for kids about death.  Maintain the normal routine schedule as much as possible.  Allow the child to play and carry out other activities.  Help the child recall the fun and good times they had with the dead person.

46  Discuss issues specific to death.  Help them participate in commemorative activities.  Provide them an opportunity to meet and share experiences with their peers.  Help keep changes to a minimum.  Encourage them to attend the funeral (if they so desire)  Encourage them to view the body and visit the grave if they want to.  Assure them that you will continue to be available (if in fact you will be)

47 The greatest gift you can give children or young adults is just to listen, listen, listen…… And to ask questions Try to refrain from using the Question, “Why?” Who, What, When, Where, How Try to use “open ended questions” (Opened Vs. Closed questions)

48 The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it! We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.

49 All Staff Preparedness Training Two kinds of teams: How teams might organize Children (youth) in Grief Needs of youth in Grief Empty Desk: What to do with student belongings When student loses a Family Member Suicide Prevention Warning Signs for Potential Suicide Missing Students Announcements Functions of a Safe Room Activities for Processing a loss Handling the Classroom on Crisis Day

50 All Staff Preparedness Training Guidelines for Teachers on Crisis Day Memory Events Effects of Trauma for Individuals Prevention of Trauma Follow-up for Staff and Students Self Care Managing the Media Signs of Need for Professional Help Identifying Depression in Students Terminal Illness (Anticipatory Grief)

51 All Staff Preparedness Training For Students Attending a Funeral for the First Time Teachable Moments Parent Communications

52 All Staff Preparedness Resource all_staff_preparedness_resource.html Demo

53 Search Institute – Peter Benson, Ph.D. Grounded in extensive research in youth development, resiliency, and prevention, the Developmental Assets represent the relationships, opportunities, and personal qualities that young people need to avoid risks and to thrive. The Institute’s framework of Developmental Assets has become the most widely used approach to positive youth development in the United States.

54 1.There is a crumbling social infrastructure. 2.Adults no longer play a role in the lives of kids outside the home. 3.Parents are less available to their children. 4.Society has become more age segregated. 5.The mass media and peers are more powerful shapers of attitudes, norms, and values. 6.Institutions are more isolated and considered suspicious. 7.Adults are no longer the gatekeepers of information. 8.The art of true communication is dying.

55

56

57 1)HOPE(FAITH) : Yet there is big fear to engage the faith community. 2)SIGNIFICANT ADULTS : Adults engaged with youth. 3)LOCUS OF CONTROL : Giving young people ownership, voice, and control 4)ACQUIRED SKILLS : And a celebration of learned skills. 5)ALTRUISM : An opportunity to give back. 6 out of 10 young adults are donating back to communities compared to 5 out of 10 for adults.

58  All young people need assets.  All people can be asset builders.  It’s an ongoing process.  It’s about relationships, first and foremost.  Consistent messages are powerful.  Redundancy of messages is desireable. We need “random acts of asset building”

59  Studies have consistently shown that the more assets young people have, the less likely they are to engage in a wide range of high-risk behaviors and the more likely they are to thrive.  Assets have power for all young people, regardless of their gender, economic status, family, or race/ethnicity.  Levels of assets are better predictors of high risk involvement and thriving than poverty or being from a single parent family. Research Conclusions

60 Percentage of 6 th to 12 th Grade Youth Reporting Selected High Risk Behavior Patterns, by Level of Developments Assets (2003 – 148,189 Students) High-Risk Behavior Pattern Assets Assets Assets Assets Problem Alcohol Use – Has used alcohol three or more times in the past month or 45% 26% 11% 3% got drunk once in the past two weeks.

61 Percentage of 6 th to 12 th Grade Youth Reporting Selected High Risk Behavior Patterns, by Level of Developments Assets (2003 – 148,189 Students) High-Risk Behavior Pattern Assets Assets Assets Assets Violence – Has engaged in three or more acts of fighting, hitting, injuring a person, 62% 38% 18% 6% carrying or using a weapon, or threatening physical harm in the past year.

62 Percentage of 6 th to 12 th Grade Youth Reporting Selected High Risk Behavior Patterns, by Level of Developments Assets (2003 – 148,189 Students) High-Risk Behavior Pattern Assets Assets Assets Assets School Problems – Has skipped school two or more Days in the past month and/or 44% 23% 10% 4% Has below a “C” average.

63 The average young person experiences fewer than half of the 40 assets. Boys experience three fewer assets than girls. (17.2 assets for boys vs for girls) Studies show that youth should have a minimum of 22 assets in order to have the resiliency to reduce risks and thrive - the more assets, the stronger the resiliency.

64 EXTERNAL ASSETS  Support  Empowerment  Boundaries & Expectations  Constructive Use of Time INTERNAL ASSETS  Commitment to Learning  Positive Values  Social Competencies  Positive Identity

65 1.Family Support – Family life provides high levels of love and support. 2.Positive Family Communication – Young person and his/her parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parents. 3.Other Adult Relationships – Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults. 4.Caring Neighborhood – Young person experiences caring neighbors.

66 5.Caring School Climate – Young person’s school provides a caring, encouraging environment. 6.Parent Involvement is Schooling – Parent(s) are actively involved in helping the young person succeed in school.

67 7.Community Values Youth – Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth. 8.Youth as Resources – Young people are given useful roles in the community. 9.Service to Others – Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week. 10.Safety – Young person feels safe at home, school, and in the neighborhood.

68 11.Family Boundaries – Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts. 12.School Boundaries – School provides clear rules and consequences. 13.Neighborhood Boundaries – Neighbors take responsibilities for monitoring young people’s behavior. 14.Adult Role Models – Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior.

69 15.Positive Peer Influence – Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior. 16.High Expectations – Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.

70 17.Creative Activities – Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts. 18.Youth Programs – Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community. 19.Religious Community – Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution. 20.Time at Home – Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights a week.

71 21.Achievement Motivation – Young person is motivated to do well in school. 22.School Engagement – Young person is actively engaged in learning. 23.Homework – Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day. 24.Bonding to School – Young person cares about her/his school. 25.Reading for Pleasure – Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.

72 26.Caring – Young person places a high value on helping other people. 27.Equality and Social Justice – Young person places a high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty. 28.Integrity – Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her/his beliefs. 29.Honesty – Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy” 30.Responsibility – Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility.

73 31.Restraint – Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.

74 32.Planning and Decision Making – Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices. 33.Interpersonal Competence – Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills. 34.Cultural Competence – Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ ethnic backgrounds. 35.Resistance Skills – Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations. 36.Peaceful Conflict Resolution – Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.

75 37Personal Power – Young person feels he/she has control over “things that happen to me”. 38.Self-Esteem – Young person reports having a high self- esteem. 39.Sense of Purpose – Young person reports “my life has a purpose”. 40.Positive view of personal future – Young person is optimistic about his/her personal future (Hope).

76

77

78 IQ tests measure “inert Intelligence”- academic knowledge that doesn’t necessarily lead to goal directed action or real world problem solving. (Robert J. Sternberg – Professor of Psychology and Education Yale University Successful Intelligence)

79 Academic (Analytical) Emotional (Creative) Actionable (Practical) (Robert J. Sternberg – Professor of Psychology and Education Yale University Successful Intelligence)

80 The result of hard study and sound learning

81 A blend of intuition, creativity, innovation, and a mature-quality connection with others.

82 The art of leadership, self-discipline, and execution

83 The three aspects of successful intelligence are related. Academic/analytical thinking is required to solve problems and to judge the quality of ideas. Emotional/creative intelligence is required to formulate good problems and ideas in the first place. Actionable/practical intelligence is needed to use the ideas and their analysis in an effective way in one’s everyday life. (Robert J. Sternberg – Successful Intelligence)

84 Successful intelligence is most effective when it balances all three of its academic, emotional, and actionable aspects. It is more important to know when and how to use these aspects of successful intelligence than just to have them. Successfully intelligent people don’t just have abilities, they reflect on when and how to use these abilities effectively. (Robert J. Sternberg – Successful Intelligence)

85 Successfully intelligent people: 1.motivate themselves. 2.learn to control their impulses. 3.know when to persevere. 4.know how to make the most of their abilities. 5.translate thought into action. 6.have a product orientation. 7.complete tasks and follow through.

86 Successfully intelligent people: 8.are initiators. 9.are not afraid to risk failure. 10.don’t procrastinate. 11.accept fair blame. 12.are independent. 13.seek to surmount personal difficulties. 14.focus and concentrate to achieve their goals.

87 Successfully intelligent people: 15. have the ability to delay gratification. 16.reject self-pity. 17.spread themselves neither too thin nor too thick. 18.have the ability to see the forest and the trees. 19.have a reasonable level of self-confidence and a belief in their abilities to accomplish their goals. 20. balance analytical, creative, and practical thinking!

88 YOU are the only one in control of developing these successfully intelligent qualities!

89 So……the BIG question is: Which of these qualities do you need to work on the most to reach your success potential? Because….it’s all up to YOU!

90 thoughtswords Watch your thoughts, they become words wordsactions Watch your words, they become actions actionshabits Watch your actions, they become habits habitscharacter Watch your habits, they become character character Watch your character, it becomes yourDESTINY

91

92


Download ppt "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past,"

Similar presentations


Ads by Google