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A Taxonomic Guide to the Pathology Kingdom. Kingdom Pathologia Phylum Ratmedicina Phylum Populomedicina.

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Presentation on theme: "A Taxonomic Guide to the Pathology Kingdom. Kingdom Pathologia Phylum Ratmedicina Phylum Populomedicina."— Presentation transcript:

1 A Taxonomic Guide to the Pathology Kingdom

2 Kingdom Pathologia Phylum Ratmedicina Phylum Populomedicina

3 Class Academia Class Prostituta

4 Class Academia Order Tenuria Order Atenuria

5 Order Tenuria The variegated departmental chair (Rex variabilis) Chair hires and fires; not a democracy Good chairs stick with their hirees Chairpersons tend to move around the country

6 Order Tenuria The promotions committee member (Cerberus cluelessicus) Is responsible for your promotion Knows nothing about what you do Would not recognize you in the hallway

7 Order Tenuria The emperor dean (Imperator omnipotens) Hires and fires chairpersons, who serve at dean’s pleasure (no job security) Probably will leave you alone unless you make the front page of the Metro section

8 Order Tenuria Full professors, genus Professor, 2 species: P. hydrambulans P. akineticus

9 Order Atenuria Genus Subprofessor, 3 species: S. respectatus S. manipulans S. absentis Genus Protoprofessor, 2 species: P. aureus P. damnatus

10 Academic Career Advantages Work more self-designed than demand-driven Be a part of new medical discoveries Career ladder Develop true expertise Residents to extend productivity Time off-service Less tedium Better benefits Management decisions more fact-based

11 Academic Career Disadvantages Fate in the hands of an ever- changing leadership Move around to move up Overspecialization risk Less income than private practice (at upper levels) Humiliating promotions/tenure procedure Anatomic path a mature science; clin path research by more specialized PhDs

12 Academic Career Keys To Success Thoroughly assess chair and senior faculty beforehand Identify aims early and choose institution accordingly First author of articles in peer- reviewed journals Early involvement in national special interest groups Get involved! Do thankless jobs

13 Academic Career Risk Factors Hired by acting chair or chair near retirement Good teaching never goes unpunished No time for research Demographically homogeneous faculty Decimated training program Offending someone later important to you

14 Class Prostituta The private practitioners and allied species 3 Orders: Ipsinerdiales - pathologists Allonerdiales - clinicians Anerdiales - nonphysicians

15 Order Ipsinerdiales The ruling pathologists - suborder Archopathologii Genus Monarchopathologus, the sole proprietors, 4 species: M. augustus M. immortalis M. avitae M. akineticus

16 Order Ipsinerdiales The ruling pathologists - suborder Archopathologii Genus Communopathologus, the group owners, 3 species: C. democraticus C. sociopathicus C. akineticus

17 Order Ipsinerdiales The subordinate pathologists - suborder Asthenopathologii Genus Shlimazopathologus, the employed pathologists, 2 species: Sh. servus - the permanent employee Sh. oriens - the partnership- track associate

18 Private Practice Career Advantages More income at upper levels Never need to have an original idea No research requirement; teaching duties mostly informal More comradeship with docs in other specialties A more immediate view of the whole healthcare picture Opportunities in other hospital departments

19 Private Practice Career Disadvantages No insulation from liability claims Few rungs on career ladder Always on service Deadening sameness broken only by exceedingly unpleasant surprises Hospital can close or sell out Poor self-marketability after 10 years post training Management decisions may not be fact-based

20 Private Practice Career Keys to Success Choose entry level job primarily for skill development Closely evaluate personalities of boss(es) and employees at interview Get along well with competitors Always save money Manage liability exposure Don’t be scared of clinicians

21 Private Practice Career Risk Factors Sell-out to practice management corp: sole proprietor up in years Boss who seems to have no life outside of work Boss who seems to have no life inside of work Demographically homogeneous group Hospital that seems to be struggling (no recent expansions, walking wounded med staff)

22 “Of course, that’s just my opinion; I could be wrong.” — Dennis Miller


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