Presentation on theme: "WELCOME TO CHURCH OF THE ASSUMPTION Wednesday Faith Clinic March 10, 2010."— Presentation transcript:
WELCOME TO CHURCH OF THE ASSUMPTION Wednesday Faith Clinic March 10, 2010
LOVE SEXUALITY & CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIP (Part II) By Rev. Fr. George Ehusani
What is Love? Love is the Divine spark in the human person Jesus says: God so love the world that he sent his only Son that whoever believes in him might not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16) He says there is no greater love than for one to lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13) He commands us his followers to love one another just as he has loved us (John 13:35)
What is Love? The Love taught us by Christ is not the unruly passion or inordinate gratification of the flesh or the widespread violation & abuse of the human body that is widespread today Love is not just a sweet sensation It is the spirit that makes the human person Human Love is the power that enables human beings – to transcend themselves to reach out to their neighbour in self-giving to reach out to God in self-sacrifice
Listen to my story, about love About the fire in my heart Listen to my story about the feeling That makes the world go round. Love is a feeling, and more than a feeling Love is a powerful force Love is the fire burning inside Love makes the world go round. Love is eternity, gazing at humanity Love is the face of God— Love is a prayer, an act of worship Love is an act of praise— Love is a basket of loaves and fishes Love is the sharing of gifts Love is the helping hand of the Samaritan Love is the tender heart— Love is the husband and wife in union Love is the warm embrace— Love can be found in the smile of a friend Love is the giggle of a child— Love is a friend affirming the other Love is the heart’s desire- LOVE IS MORE THAN A FEELING
HUMAN SEXUALITY Sexuality is a sacred part of us given by God for the act of creation True sexuality is designed to create, not just children but love, intimacy, passion and inspiration. Sexuality is a motivating force that drives the very formation of society The disasters come when sexuality, being abused and misused or misunderstood, is used for consumption. Sexuality is a powerful force, and when used for creation is a great source of blessing but when used for consumption is the greatest destructive force we face as individuals and as a society
THE WONDER AND THE MYSTERY OF HUMAN SEXUALITY We read in Genesis 1:27-31— God created man in his own image in the image of God he created him male and female he made them God blessed them, saying to them: Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it… God saw all he had made, and indeed it was very good The man and woman were naked and they felt no shame before each other
THE WONDER AND THE MYSTERY OF HUMAN SEXUALITY Sex is not something we do Sex is something that we are It is the sum total of all the traits & values— physiological, mental, emotional & spiritual that make a person male or female It refers to not just our sexual organs and what we do or don’t do with them It is part of what make up our personality!
HUMAN SEXUALITY & THE REPRODUCTIVE FACULTY OF ANIMALS Human beings have NEEDS and DESIRES We have the need for food, water, air & shelter like the animals Our lives depend upon satisfying these needs Like other animals we also have DRIVES, INSTINCTS or IMPULSES But we differ from the animals in many ways— We have a spiritual, psychological & mental make-up that animals don’t have Unlike the animals we are rational While animals must follow their drives & impulses, we humans can RE-CHANNEL these drives we can CONTROL our impulses
HUMAN SEXUALITY & THE REPRODUCTIVE FACULTY OF ANIMALS The animal “copulates” or mates because it has to, or it must when it is in heat But as humans we are meant to think before acting Whatever the intensity of the impulse or drive we humans are not bound to follow our impulses
HUMAN SEXUALITY & THE REPRODUCTIVE FACULTY OF ANIMALS Before we engage in sexual intercourse we put a number of things into consideration, such as— What is the purpose/aim of this act? Do I have the right/the license to do this? With this person? Is this the appropriate time? Is this the proper place? Is this in accordance with the Creator’s plan? What are the consequences of this act – Physiologically? Morally? emotionally? Psychologically? Spiritually? socially?
HUMAN SEXUALITY & THE REPRODUCTIVE FACULTY OF ANIMALS If at any time the answers to any of these questions is unsatisfactory or negative then sexual intercourse is WRONG & UNHEALTHY UNWHOLESOME & SINFUL AN ABUSE & A VIOLATION In such circumstances, sexual intercourse is to be avoided – no matter the intensity of the impulse from within and no matter the pressure from outside The faculty to do this is called SELF-CONTROL __________________________________________ SELF CONTROL IS WHAT SETS US APART FROM ANIMALS!
THE WONDER AND THE MYSTERY OF HUMAN SEXUALITY Sexuality is the creative force in the human person It is by our sexuality that we are co-creators This force remains a major part of the life of those who are not married— either by decision or by circumstance (see Matt 19:12) They will not be able to engage in the most physical expression of sexuality (by which the two become one flesh) Yet they can harness this force and channel it for use in all kinds of creative endeavours: PRAYER, MUSIC, POETRY, ART, INSPIRATION ________________________________________ NO ONE HAS EVER DIED BECAUSE HE ABSTAINED FROM SEX!
THE WONDER AND THE MYSTERY OF HUMAN SEXUALITY Those who put much energy into exploring the physical dimension of sexuality first, may become stunted & warped in the other areas – the mental, the emotional the spiritual and the social – Their personalities may become unbalanced perverted unhealthy _______________________________________
THE BEAUTY & THE GLORY OF SEX: A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE In Genesis 2:25 we read that (before the fall) Adam and Eve were naked but they were unashamed of their nakedness For Christians sex is beautiful, holy and pure only in the context of a committed relationship sealed with the sacrament of matrimony The desire for genital sexual pleasure is wholesome and fulfilling only in such marriage
SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE: A GREVIOUS SIN With the fall of our first parents our sexual impulses appear to be of the most perverted The beautiful sexual powers God created now seem to be dominated by sin With the reality of adultery, fornication, Masturbation, prostitution, pornography, homosexuality/lesbianism All these have come as a result of human corruption, depravity and disobedience Sin spoilt the sexual desires created good by God However God in Christ has redeemed them for wonderful use within the union of those who marry in the Lord (I Cor 7:39)
SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE: A GREVIOUS SIN Therefore Pre-marital sex and Extra-marital sex have no place in the life of Christians Sexual relations by Christians couples who are yet to make a public commitment by way of the sacrament of Matrimony is understood as fornication – even after the traditional engagement! Those living without the sacrament of Matrimony are living in CONCUBINAGE
SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE: A GREVIOUS SIN In the 6 th Commandment of the Law the Lord expressly forbids fornication/adultery He condemns all sexual gratification outside Marriage (Exodus 20:14; Leviticus 20:10; Matthew 5:8; I Corinthians 6:9-10; Galatians 5:19) Ephesians 5:5-9 says For you can be quite certain that nobody who indulges in sexual immorality or impurity… can inherit the kingdom of God In the passage of Gal 5:19 Paul declares that sexual vice, impurity and sensuality are evidences of self-indulgence According to him, those who are guilty of these sins along with drunkenness, sorcery, malice and orgies… will not inherit the kingdom of God!
SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE: A GREVIOUS SIN Outside a committed (marital) relationship sex loses its purpose and the desire for and actual act of sex become— a source of sin & alienation from God a violation of the Creator’s design an abuse of self and fellow human being When dominated by sin the sexual desires which God created are called: LUSTS OF THE FLESH (Rom 13:14; Gal 6:16) _______________________________ But Christ has come to redeem the whole person— Mind & Spirit, Soul & Body Christ has come to redeem us— Spiritually, Emotionally, Physiologically Our Sexuality is part of what he wants to redeem!
PROMISCUITY: THE CHALLENGE OF OUR GENERATION Our generation appears overwhelmed by:- the ascendancy of the “canal desire” the elevation of the pleasure principle above all others the tyranny of the lust of the flesh Our generation confuses “LOVE” with Infatuation We confuse FRIENDSHIP with Romance We confuse AFFECTION with Genital Sexual Gratification ________________________________ We fail to understand that true love is “other-centred” that it means caring for the happiness of other persons Even if their happiness does not include us.
PROMISCUITY: THE CHALLENGE OF OUR GENERATION Many people today confuse the NEED for— LOVE & AFFECTION ACCEPTANCE AFFIRMATION SECURITY With the DESIRE for genital (sexual) gratification And they camouflage sexual intercourse for true friendship & wholesome communication The consequence of this confusion is that: the individual HURTS himself/herself the partner is HURT the family is AFFECTED the society SUFFERS
PROMISCUITY: THE CHALLENGE OF OUR GENERATION This is why our sexual impulses appear to be so unruly — resulting in so much infidelity, distrust, tension, & breakdown in marriage & family life teenage sexual abuse, pre-marital & extra-marital sex unplanned-for pregnancies & abortion widespread resort to contraception sexually transmitted diseases including HIV/AIDS unsatisfactory/unfulfilling sexual life of many couples
PROMISCUITY: THE CHALLENGE OF OUR GENERATION The problem is compounded today by— 1. “Media Sexploitation” by which the tender emotions of many young people are being exploited & assaulted for monetary gain by many mass media outfits (TV, Radio, Video Internet, Billboards, Tabloid Newspapers & Mobile Telephone) 2. The Commercialisation of Sex By which sex is treated like a commodity or merchandise available for sale and on display at check-out counters 3. Proliferation of Contraceptives & Ease of Abortion and the false security that comes with them
PROMISCUITY: THE CHALLENGE OF OUR GENERATION Our social environment is increasingly accommodating INFIDELITY, INDECENCY PORNOGRAPHY, MASTURBATION TEENAGE SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION PROSTITUTION ABORTION and now there is the increasing wave of— HOMOSEXUALITY & LESBIANISM
1. Sexuality is a force within the human person that we cannot REPRESS, DENY OR IGNORE Having a body makes us sexual beings 2. Our sexual faculty must be disciplined Our sexual impulses must be reasonably directed Our creative powers must be appropriately channelled 3. When we discipline and educate ourselves to be healthy sexual beings as God intended we find the true joy within sexuality 4. Those who enter into intercourse as a loving couple who honour & respect God and one another have the best sex 5. The sexuality of the unmarried is still about serving & creating – but in other ways apart from physical (genital) gratification WE MUST FACE IT
CHRISTIAN CHASTITY: WHICH WAY FORWARD? The young people in our midst must recognise that the risks involved in pre-marital sex are not only physiological, like getting pregnant getting infected with HIV/AIDS or such other STDs as Genital Herpes Gonorhea Syphilis
CHRISTIAN CHASTITY: WHICH WAY FORWARD? Since sex is not only a biological act but also a mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual act– there are consequences on the mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual levels for those who choose to have sex before or outside marriage Sin and the burden of Guilt, Doubt, Fear Disappointment, Self-hatred and the Pain of Being Used, are some of the psychological consequences of premarital and extra-marital sex
CHRISTIAN CHASTITY: WHICH WAY FORWARD? St. Paul says that the world may be evil but our lives must redeem it. Therefore we Christians must shine our light even in a world of darkness, immorality & corruption must strive to demonstrate to the world that through his suffering, death and resurrection Christ has redeemed not only our souls but also our bodies must rediscover the value of virginity (before or outside marriage) and chastity/purity/fidelity in marriage
CHRISTIAN CHASTITY: WHICH WAY FORWARD? The Scriptures sufficiently demonstrate that VIRGINITY, PURITY and CHASTITY are closely related to Godliness and holiness Therefore: We cannot pretend to be religious while leading a life of adultery, fornication or impurity We have been taught that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit Thus we sin gravely when we violate our own bodies and the bodies of others We must begin today to train ourselves and our children in the practice of chastity
SECONDARY VIRGINITY IS POSSIBLE Secondary Virginity is the decision to stop having sex until marriage and the acting out of that decision There are many unmarried men & women who have lost their virginity and who became sexually active Out of Ignorance, Peer Pressure or because they had not accepted the Lord Jesus and his high moral standard When such people see the light They can decide to stop having sex until marriage
SECONDARY VIRGINITY IS POSSIBLE Don’t let anyone deceive you that once you start having sex you can no longer control your sexual impulses YOU CAN! HOW? By deciding to change By detaching yourself from old habits from old places from old friends By avoiding situations which weaken self-control By developing new, non-physical ways to share
INSTANT GRATIFICATION versus DELAYED GRATIFICATION ______________________ PLAY NOW AND PAY LATER FOOD FOR THOUGHT ______________________________ NO ONE EVER SUCCEEDED IN ANYTHING GREAT WITHOUT A MEASURE OF DELAYED GRATIFICATION
THE RATIONAL ANIMAL FEELS (Experiences Impulses) _____________ THINKS (Considers morality & consequences) _______________ And then ACTS FOOD FOR THOUGHT THE IRRATIONAL ANIMAL FEELS (Experiences impulses) ____________ and then ACTS
OUR DESIRE FOR SEX IS MUCH GREATER THAN OUR NEED FOR SEX _________________ When we feel this desire we don’t have to fulfil it in sexual intercourse ______________________ We can re-channel the desire into some other good purpose, viz: MUSIC, POETRY, ART, PRAYER, CHARITY… FOOD FOR THOUGHT
SELF-CONTROL— Being able to follow the rules Sets us apart from the animals _________________________ Young people must learn how to say NO Because the inability to say no when necessary Makes us slaves of others And worse still— Slaves of our passions & fears FOOD FOR THOUGHT
SAYING NO To Pre-Marital & Extra-Marital Sex Is Easier Than Living With the Consequences __________________________ TRUE FREEDOM Always requires responsibility Freedom without responsibility carries HEAVY PENALTIES FOOD FOR THOUGHT
SEX DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN Someone decides __________________ You can decide: To get heated up or to cool it down To watch sexy movies or good films To wear sexy clothes or modest clothes To zip-up or to zip-down ______________________ SEXUAL DESIRE IS CONTROLLABLE WE ARE NOT ALTOGETHER HELPLESS! FOOD FOR THOUGHT
YOU’RE INCHARGE Be Assertive! BE A CONFIDENT BACHELOR/SPINSTER Be a Virgin! ____________________ DO THE RIGHT THING Honour God with your Body and Wait for the Ring! FOOD FOR THOUGHT
YOU’RE INCHARGE Be Assertive! ____________________ BE A CONFIDENT HUSBAND/WIFE Be Faithful to your spouse ____________________ DO THE RIGHT THING Honour God with your Body and Keep your matrimonial union undefiled! FOOD FOR THOUGHT