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Managing Your Impact With Communication Presented by The Carden Group.

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1 Managing Your Impact With Communication Presented by The Carden Group

2 Versatility and Leadership Managers who consistently accomplish a lot are notably inconsistent in their manner of attacking problems and approaching situations. They continually change their focus, priorities, behavior patterns and their own leadership styles based on with whom they interact. — Harvard Business Review, 2008 2

3 3 Learning Objectives Develop strategies of communication for maximizing impact to make interactions more productive. Learn the characteristics of behavioral styles and determine how style differences impact interactions and relationships. Learn the role that tension plays in interactions and determine how to leverage an understanding of style to best manage it. Understand behavioral styles as viewed by others. Recognize the value of handling communication issues as they occur Choose the most effective level of assertiveness based on circumstance and message that maintains relationship and produces the desired result. Use a reliable formula to prepare and conduct a difficult conversation. Reduce the effect of difficult reactions that arise from mixed messages and lack of confidence in the communicator. Understand the other person’s perspective during a conversation, regardless of the issue or situation.

4 4 Program Agenda AM Welcome Program Introduction Communication Styles Self Assessment Social Styles Model Four Quadrant Summit Flexing to Other Styles PM Difficult Conversations Prep & Conducting Communication Skills Demonstration & Practice Reflection/Evening Assignment CONFIDENTIAL

5 5 How We Like to Work Make a commitment to your learning Be fully present Share your experiences and learning Vegas rules Partner with your boss, post-program Return from all breaks on-time Have fun, learn, change CONFIDENTIAL

6 6 Three Quarters of the People With Whom you Work Work differently from you when in groups Plan differently when with others Are motivated for different reasons Differ in willingness to take risks Make use of time differently Make decisions differently Manage tasks differently

7 7 Social Style ® Concept Social Styles ® are predictable patterns of actions that others can observe and agree upon for describing one’s behavior All styles are successful and get results We all have style range and the ability to situationally flex or adapt

8 8 Observable Behaviors Actions - what we say or do That can be seen or heard Not the reasons or rationale behind those actions

9 9 Social Styles ® : Some Patterns of Behavior …that make us more like some than others Quieter Slower paced Facially controlled Monotone voice Indirect eye contact Casual posture Leans back Louder Faster paced Facially animated Inflected voice Direct eye contact Rigid posture Leans forward

10 Social Styles…identifying my behaviors: Ask/Listen Softer Moderate Paced Lean back Less Opinions Slower decisions Less eye contact Tell/Talk Louder Fast Paced Leans Toward More Opinions Faster decisions More eye contact Emotive Feeling/Emotion More Expression Inflected Varied Pace People Controlled Fact Less Expression Monotone Moderate Pace Task AnalyticalDriver ExpressiveAmiable 10

11 11 Communication Style Strengths Analytical AmiableExpressive Driver Controlled Emotive TellAsk Objective Precise Thorough Detailed Rational Controlled Supportive Empathic Loyal Group-Oriented Team focus Sharing Decisive Tough Candid Efficient Results-Oriented Controlled Creative Enthusiastic Humorous Energetic Focus on Vision Promoter

12 12 Communication Style Gaps Analytical AmiableExpressive Driver Controlled Emotive TellAsk Slow Overcautious Indecisive Inflexible Unfriendly Nit-picky Rigid Complying Pushover Follower Self-sacrificing Passive Hesitating Autocratic Overbearing Insensitive Impatient Pressuring Ruthless Dominating Excitable High strung Emotional Loose cannon Lacks detail Over-committed Not focused

13 13 Activity: Four Quadrant Summit Purpose: Gain insight into how each style prefers to be worked with or influenced Timing: 60 minutes. Move to corner of the room for your style. Step 1: Small Group Activity (10 minutes) Brainstorm your responses to each question and place the responses on the flip chart. What approach makes you more receptive? What does your style find annoying or frustrating about an approach? How does your style create tension? What’s a great question to ask the other three styles to learn more about them? Step 2: Full Group Debrief (40 minutes) Share your responses and rationale.

14 14 A Little Styles Humor DriverWalk up, press the button repeatedly thinking that it will get the elevator to arrive sooner Expressivelet others in…saying “always room for one more, we’ll wait for you” Amiablewatch the whole elevator bank – never just that one elevator – so that you can get an “express” elevator just for your team Analytical get on the elevator, count the number of people and guess their weight to determine if car is overloaded Getting on an elevator…

15 Styles Under Stress Driver Commands Takes Over Expressive Attacks Confronts Analytical Avoids Withdraws Amiable Acquiesces Goes Along 15

16 16 Style Attributes Need Orientation Growth Edge Expressive Recognition Spontaneity Restrain Analytical Accuracy Thinking Decide Sooner Amiable Harmony Relationship Speak Up Driver Results Action Listen

17 17 Social Style ® Quadrants Controlled/Task Emotive/Relationship AskTell Analytical Driver AmiableExpressive

18 18 What is Style Flexing? Temporarily adjusting your behavior to manage tension and to encourage others to behave more productively with you.

19 Four Steps to Style Flexing Recognize the other person’s style Plan your flex: content and delivery Do the flex, hold the meeting Evaluate how you did the flexing 19

20 Flexing to Style Preferences Don’t rush, don’t waste time Answer all questions Give solid, tangible evidence Do not push/hard sell Do not over-promise Be fast-paced, get to the point quickly Start with business, give the bottom line Use facts, not feelings Be clear, concise, and brief Don’t waste time Offer options with brief supporting data Be relaxed, moderately paced Actively listen Get to know them Show personal interest Ask for their input/reaction Be upbeat, fast-paced, fun Let them talk Allow time for socializing Tolerate digressions Give them choices Focus on the big picture 20

21 Improving Your Versatility DECIDE Be more flexible, more open-minded Openly show more concern for other people Be decisive with data Listen for people’s feelings DECLARE Be less sensitive Be more willing to take risks Say “no” more often Let people know what you think RESTRAIN & CHECK Talk less Spend more time looking at facts Control time and emotion Think before you speak LISTEN Acknowledge different points of view Show more patience Tone down intensity Pay attention to feelings 21

22 The Spirit of the Conversation Interrogation Interview Conversation 22

23 The Difficult Conversations Delivering tough news Enforcing policy Developmental feedback Conflicts and disagreements Challenging others on their decisions Discussing compensation Handling complaints Requesting help Negotiating 23

24 A Conversation Is... A process which allows two or more people to achieve mutual understanding in order to exchange information, move toward a specific goal, resolve a situation and/or build relationships. 24

25 Difficult Conversation Content – How to Plan for It Purpose –Why do you want to have the discussion/conversation “WIFM” Goals –What you both hope to achieve Rationale and/or Issue(s) –What the critical issues are for you or the company (or both) –What’s the benefit of addressing this? –Why it might be a problem Ideas –What ideas or solutions you have Actions –What you need to get agreement regarding –Follow-up actions to be taken Reactions –How do you have to self manage? –What reactions do you think you’ll receive from the other person? 25

26 Activity: PurposeFamiliarize yourself with a process for preparing for crucial conversations Timing10 minutes Step 1Think of the crucial conversation you prepared as prework. Make notes on the worksheet provided about major points that will help you in preparing for this conversation. Step 2Discuss your thoughts with a partner and receive feedback from their perspective. 26

27 The Communication Process The engine at the heart of every conversation. Speaker and Listener play active roles. Your point is… Your concern is… You're asking… My thought is… I'd like to see… My experience is… How does this sound? What are your thoughts? How are you seeing this? What do you think about… 27

28 The Difficult Conversation Open Discussion –Purpose for discussion (WIFM) –Goals for discussion Present Critical Issue and Rationale –Issue to be addressed –Rationale and reason behind issue Ask for Reaction and Their Ideas Present Potential Solutions Close –Actions to be taken and by whom –Follow-up to be done and by whom 28

29 De-Escalation Process 29

30 De-Escalation Process 30 How to De-escalate a Situation It would be wonderful if after every difficult conversation the party would say, “That sounds great! Thank you so much for helping me today. As a matter of fact this is the best I have ever seen someone handle this type of situation. Thanks for helping me see the right path. Please tell your boss that you need a raise, and they need to hire more people just like you!” However, this is not likely to happen after every difficult conversation. In most cases, we will have some situations that need to be discussed and addressed before the other party will be willing to accept your “decisions” on moving forward. Overcoming these situations is a natural part of the process. Even if you are 100% correct and the other person is 100% wrong, we will still, often times, meet some resistance before they accept what is being communicated. The KUMC de-escalation process is a non-confrontational way to bring these situations out into the open and respond to them in a way that will increase the likelihood of creating a win-win situation. You need to be able to lower resistance and build rapport quickly, and to do that you need a step-by-step process.

31 Reflective Listening Reflecting Thoughts You think… You believe… Your point is… You’d like to know… You’re asking… You’re wondering… Your concern is… Reflecting Feelings You’re feeling… You sound… You look… Reflecting Thoughts and Feelings You sound…because… You’re feeling…about 31

32 Nature of Stress & Defensiveness Automatic “Fight or flight” A predictable response Driven by our need to protect ourselves All about emotions 32

33 Styles Under Stress Driver Commands / Takes Over Analytical Avoids / Withdraws Amiable Acquiesces / Goes Along Logically discuss the issue Acknowledge a need for time Set a deadline Restate their concerns Offer options for moving forward Recommit to results and time frame Controlled Emotive Tell Ask Ask open questions about concerns Allow them to express disagreement Acknowledge feelings and points of view Separate emotions from facts Expressive Attacks / Confronts 33

34 Handling Stress Reactions Speak: send your message Ask: for reactions Listen: REFLECT, REFLECT, REFLECT reactions Response – Options: –Clarify/elaborate –Ask questions –Restate points of view –Get agreement going forward –Think about it/stop discussion 34

35 Typical Stress Reactions Surprise –Confusion –Disappointment –Questioning Anger/Hurt –Strong disagreement –Denial Rationalization –Justification –Excuses Apathy – Resignation – Silence – Lack of caring Acceptance – Acknowledging – Showing a willingness to improve 35

36 Opening – Starting Phrases “I’d like to talk to you about ____. I think we may have different ideas on how to _____.” “I have something to discuss with you that I think will help us work together (even) more effectively.” “I need your help with something. Can we talk about it?” “I’d like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ____. I really want to hear your thoughts/feelings about this and share my perspectives as well.” “I think we have different perspectives about ____. I’d like to hear your thinking on this and move closer on our points of view.” 36

37 Watch For… Your tone of voice Loaded words Falling on one end of the assertiveness spectrum or the other Passive Aggressive (direct or indirect) Defensive reaction by the other person 37

38 Close Action planning Share your reactions Written feedback 38

39 One Key Action I Will Take Following This Workshop Is… 39


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