1. Universals of verbal and non-verbal messages.
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”
- Anthony Robbins, Motivational Speaker

2. Chapter 6 Universals of verbal and non-verbal messages.
Assertive Communication

3. Assertiveness: “Win Win”
Steps for increasing assertiveness:
Analyze assertive communications
Rehearse assertive communications
Communicate assertively

4. Assertive Communication
Stand up for yourself
Express feelings directly
Improve relationships
Give Compliments
Give Criticism
Make requests
Say No / Set Limits

5. Universals of Verbal and Non-Verbal Message
Non-Verbal Messages are used to:
Accent
Complement
Contradict
Control
Repeat
Substitute For

6. Messages and Meanings Meanings are: In People
More Than Words and Gestures
Unique
Context-Based

7. Meanings are in People You do not receive meaning. You create meaning.
Words do not mean. People mean.

8. Meanings are more than words and gestures
Understand other people’s meanings by your perceptions
who you are
what you are feeling

9. Meanings are Unique No two people derive the same meaning
Same person can derive different meanings on different occasions

10. Meanings are Unique
As you change, you also change the meanings you create out of past messages
Check your perceptions of another’s meanings

11. Messages Context-Based Packaged Rule-Governed Abstract/Concrete
Politeness
Inclusion/Exclusion
Direct/Indirect
Gender/Culture

12. Messages are context-based
Words or behaviors have different meanings in different contexts
Depends on other behavior that accompanies it
Cultural context

13. Messages are Packaged
Parts work together to communicate a unified meaning
Look at entire package before interpreting another’s meaning
Contradictory verbal and non-verbal messages question credibility and sincerity

14. Messages are Rule-Governed
Grammar
Behavior
Non-Verbal rules and norms

15. Messages vary in abstraction
General terms are abstract and specific terms are concrete
Abstract terms lead to different images
Effective verbal messages usually include specifics

16. Messages vary in politeness
Politeness is a desirable trait
Women’s speech tends to be more polite than men

17. Messages vary in inclusion
Inclusive messages: include all people present and acknowledge relevance of others
Exclusive messages: using language to exclude others outside your group

18. Messages vary in directness
Advantages
Disadvantages
Politeness
Seeking compliments
Win Lose
Resentment & Competition
Indirect messages

19. Gender differences Women Men More indirect in giving orders
Power is ability to choose own style of communication
Indirect when
Expressing weakness
Admitting problems
Admitting an error
Emotions (except anger)
Refusing increased intimacy
Going against masculine stereotype

20. Cultural Differences
Many Asian and Latin American countries stress indirectness to avoid appear being critical or contradicted as a way to “save face.”

21. Indirectness
Consider how easy it is for misunderstandings to occur.

22. Messages vary in Assertiveness
Nonassertiveness: You win I lose; passive approach to communication
Aggresiveness: I win you lose; caring little for others’ needs

23. Messages Vary in Assertiveness
Nonassertiveness
“You Win, I lose”
Aggressiveness
“I Win, You Lose”
Assertiveness
“I Win, You Win”

24. Assertiveness I win you win
Act in your own best interest without denying or infringing upon the rights of others

25. Assertiveness Steps for increasing assertiveness:
Analyze assertive communications
Rehearse assertive communications
Communicate assertively

26. Communicating Assertively
Describe the Problem
State How it Affects You
Propose Solutions
Confirm Understanding
Reflect on Own Assertiveness