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MARRIAGE AND FAMILY. Marriage Approx ¼ of households traditional two parent families vs 45% in the l970s Average age of women to marry is 25.1 and men.

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Presentation on theme: "MARRIAGE AND FAMILY. Marriage Approx ¼ of households traditional two parent families vs 45% in the l970s Average age of women to marry is 25.1 and men."— Presentation transcript:


2 Marriage Approx ¼ of households traditional two parent families vs 45% in the l970s Average age of women to marry is 25.1 and men 26.7 Traditionally marriages arranged for economic or political reasons, not for love Motivation for marriage –Economic –Sex –Searching for an identity –Escaping from an unhappy home life –Avoid loneliness –Pregnancy

3 Love Caring as much about another's happiness and needs as your own Applies both to romantic and parental love Attraction –Men-physical attraction as well as ability to be a good mother –Women-financial or occupational status

4 Selecting a Mate Attracted to people who have similar –Ethnic background –Religion –Economic background –Educational background Should look for compatibility –Spend time together –Find out how the person acts when faced with disappointments or frustrations

5 Marriage Happy marriages characterized by –Ability to empathize with one another –Strong sense of self identity –Realistic perceptions of yourself and your spouse –Ability to take criticism and argue fairly –Commitment to working on solving problems –Open communication –Ability to laugh and enjoy each other –Share power in the relationship –Loosen ties with original family –Have a sexual relationship that is satisfying to both

6 Marriage Problem areas –Children –In-laws –Money –How to spend free time –Sex –Division of labor at home

7 How to Fight Learn to fight so it is constructive not hurtful Do not turn it into a drama Know what you are trying to accomplish Allow time for a fight Do not use guilt Do not leave in the middle of an argument unless you fear violence Listen to one another and repeat back what you hear

8 How to Fight Focus on the issues at hand Do not attack personalities Avoid zingers, the words that can hurt Little changes can lead to larger changes in the relationship Men have a difficult time handling conflicts while women have a hard time tolerating emotional distance

9 Parenthood Ultimate responsibility 24 hours a day forever Expensive-roughly 250,000 to rear a child through college Couples who do not have children just as likely to be content with their marriage as those who do have kids Many people feel it enriches their lives May put a strain on a shaky marriage, do not have kids to save a relationship

10 Parental Responsibilities Must meet child’s basic needs Emotional development –Give them a sense of security –Meet their trust needs Intellectual development –Provide intellectual stimulation –Reading, singing, talking to child –Encourage child to try new experiences –½ of a person’s intellectual capacity is developed by age 4

11 Parental Responsibilities Social development –Teach a child how to function within society by example and rules Self-esteem –Children who develop close bonds with their siblings and parents have a higher self esteem –Lowest self esteem found in kids who saw themselves alone in the family

12 Childcare 70% of mothers work outside the house 2 income families needed to survive Kids under one year were better off with one care giver versus a day care center with many care givers Difficult decision for parents to make One study found that working outside the house was less important then the mental stability and maturity of parents in determining how kids fared in life

13 Domestic Violence

14 Domestic Abuse More then 1/3 of Americans have witnessed an episode of domestic violence 42% of women homicides committed by their spouse or boyfriend A married person more likely to be killed by their spouse 14% of American women say they have been beaten by a husband or boyfriend 21-25% of all women who visit the ER have been abused

15 Domestic Violence Women are victims at a rate 3 times that of men A women is beaten every nine seconds in the US Women are more often the victims of domestic violence then victims of burglary, muggings or other physical crimes combined More then ½ of all the women on the street are fleeing domestic violence Pregnancy is a risk factor for violence Domestic violence hot line 800-799-safe San Mateo County 650-312-8515

16 Domestic Violence Abusive spouse feels they have the right ot control the other person Families become isolated with few societal controls put on the behavior Wife –No money and responsible for children –Low self esteem –Ashamed –May have been abused as a child and feels she deserves it


18 Domestic Violence Man –Has the sense of right to control women and children –Looks like a normal person –Denies they have done anything –Blames the women –Minimizes the impact of violence –Blames drugs or alcohol for violence Teenage relationships –25% teens experienced physical violence in dating –Use isolation, jealousy, violence –Want to control the girl

19 Domestic Violence

20 Are You Being Abused? Are you afraid of your partner? Do they call you names or make you feel stupid? Does the person you’re involved with tell you where you can and can’t go or who you can and can’t talk to? Do you feel pushed or forced into having sex? Does the person say it’s your fault when they hurt you?

21 Domestic Violence Does the person shove, grab, hit, pinch, hold you down or kick you? Is the person you’re seeing really nice sometimes and really mean at other times? Does this person make promises to change? Do they pretend that they never hurt you? Do they tell your that your are “making too big a deal” out of it?

22 Domestic Violence

23 Child Abuse Every day 5 kids in the US die from abuse or neglect Neglect is the most frequent form of abuse Women abuse more then fathers More abuse in larger families Children have been –Burned by boiling water, cigarettes –Hit with cords –Strangled, choked –Shaken child syndrome –Thrown against walls

24 Child Abuse 3 components present with child abuse –Increase during stressful periods, divorce, loss of a job, financial problems –Usually centered on one child who is perceived as being different –Often times parents were abused as children Law requires teachers, nurses, doctors, social workers to contact child protective services if abuse is suspected Children will often lie and defend their parents to prevent separation

25 Child Abuse


27 Burned by boiling milk



30 Sexual Assault 2/3 or sex offenders in state prisons attacked children and 1/3 of victims were their children or stepchildren Only 10-15% involves a stranger, usually a close friend or relative 50,000 kids abused each year by parents or guardians

31 Divorce 43% of marriages end in divorce within 15 yrs African- American women least likely to marry and most likely to divorce Asian marriages most stable Whites and Hispanics in the middle ½ of those married before the age of 18 divorce 40% of those married before 20 divorce 24% of those married after 25 divorce

32 Divorce 43% of women whose parents were divorced are divorced within 10 years 29% of women whose parents remained married divorced within 10 years Women and children suffer a severe drop in their standard of living within one year of a divorce

33 Divorce Women complain of –Money problems –Physical abuse –Drinking –Verbal abuse Men complain of –Sexual incompatibility –In-law problems

34 Divorce Divorce very painful for the children and they need to know they are not the cause of the breakup When there is violence, the kids understand –Approx 1/3 of all divorces Low conflict marriages that dissolve are difficult for kids to understand –Approx 2/3 of all divorces

35 Alternative Lifestyles Single Divorced Single parents Cohabitation –All of the problems, none of the legal rights –Higher rates of divorce with cohabitation before marriage Gay lifestyles Older people living together

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