Presentation on theme: "Revision Approach to Revision: Approach to Revision:"— Presentation transcript:
1 Revision Approach to Revision: Approach to Revision: Experienced WritersNovice WritersApproach to Revision:Focus on improving the whole textProcedure in RevisingRead through entire text to identify major problems before beginning to make changesTypes of ChangesAddresses global issues such as audience, purpose, and overall organizationApproach to Revision:Search through the text for errorsProcedure in RevisingReads text making changes as s/he goes making changes sentence by sentenceTypes of ChangesSpelling, wordiness, and grammar errors
3 Using EvidenceEvidence is the support an author provides for his claim—his grounds for belief. But not all evidence is equal, and the strength of an argument depends on the strength of the evidence. Thus, we need a process to judge evidence by. The following questions can apply to all kinds of evidence.
4 Questions to ask yourself: IS THE EVIDENCE SUFFICIENT? The more complex and controversial a subject is, the more territory an assertion covers, the more evidence is needed to back it up. Considering the argument as a whole, there should be enough evidence to make the assertion appear highly probable.
5 Questions to ask yourself: IS THE EVIDENCE RELEVANT? All evidence should contribute to the development of the argument. Even if a certain fact or reason is interesting, if it does not connect with the author’s claim, it is a distraction. If the information is irrelevant to the argument, it cannot be used as evidence.
6 Questions to ask yourself: IS THE EVIDENCE ACCURATE? For many subjects you write about, recent research and scholarship will be important in providing the soundness of the argument. New does not always mean best, but in fields where research is ongoing, recent evidence will be more accurate than past evidence. Of course, in order for the evidence to be accurate, it must also be truthful and reliable.
7 Questions to ask yourself: TO WHAT OF EPL DOES THE EVIDENCE APPEAL? All of your evidence will reflect ethos, pathos, and or logos. Remember that in argument most of your evidence needs to be logically founded. Use factual evidence to appeal to your audience’s sense of ethos and logos. More minimally use testimony, anecdotes, or examples to appeal to audience’s sense of pathos.
9 STATISTICSStatistics express information in numbers, but the reader must have enough information to connect meaning with those numbers. Diagrams, charts, tables, and graphs are often effective because they allow the reader to grasp information more easily than if it were presented in paragraph form.
10 STATISTICSARE THE STATISTICS FROM A TRUSTWORTHY SOURCE? Surveying a population to gather information is a sophisticated science! Be wary of statistics that do not have a respectable source. Reliable sources include government bureaus, universities, Gallup, Roper, and Harris polls, etc.ARE THE TERMS CLEARLY DEFINED? Authors can manipulate numbers to support their claim by using ambiguous terms like “poverty,” “unemployment,” or “middle class.” The terms, then, must be defined numerically because there are so many different interpretations of what constitutes poverty, etc. Also, if using terms like “violent” or “underprivileged,” the author should define exactly how the researchers determined what characterizes a person as violent or underprivileged.
11 STATISTICSARE THE COMPARISONS BETWEEN COMPARABLE THINGS? We cannot compare apples and oranges. Numerical analogies should have appropriate connections and share common units of measurement.HAS ANY SIGNIFICANT INFORMATION BEEN OMITTED? When reading statistics, like number of sales in a month or the number of people who participated in a certain event, look closely for information that has not been provided, because the author may be hiding the fact that all the sales were made in one city, or all the people surveyed were women.HOW RECENT ARE THESE DATA? Especially in the sciences where ongoing research brings new discoveries, both the data and the quoted opinions of experts should be recent. But “new” does not always mean best, and sometimes arguments call for evidence from the past to prove a point. Make sure that the date of the evidence, whether it be factual or opinions of experts, is appropriate for the subject matter.
12 EXAMPLESaturday morning cartoons are often criticized by public officials because of their violence and themes. For example, critics describe coyotes jumping off cliffs, dogs and cats blackening each other’s eyes, and Martians planning to destroy the Earth. In addition, these same animals try to capture birds, carrots, or territory. Furthermore, when the fights are over, these same animals get food, toys, or candy as a reward for their behavior. Children’s programming needs to be changed to avoid the messages that do nothing but harm those who watch them every week.ARE THE EXAMPLES REPRESENTATIVE? The examples chosen to illustrate a point should be typical of the whole body of evidence—not the exception! The examples should also be true to life. If they are derived from actual experience or hypothetical examples, they should be realistic and believable.ARE THE EXAMPLES UNDERSTANDABLE TO THE AUDIENCE? The audience will use their life experiences to judge the author’s evidence. If examples are unfamiliar and extreme, the audience will judge them unreliable.
13 TESTIMONY/ANECDOTETestimony/Anecdote: Personal interpretations of the facts.Expert opinions are effective because they are more reliable than those of a person who has never done any thought or research on the subject before.
14 TESTIMONY/ANECDOTEIS THE SOURCE OF THE OPINION QUALIFIED TO GIVE AN OPINION ON THE SUBJECT? Depending on the subject matter, the speaker should be qualified by education or by experience. The speaker should either be associated with a reputable institution (University, Business, or Organization), or the text should provide background on the speaker’s extensive experience in the field.IS THE SOURCE BIASED FOR OR AGAINST HIS OR HER INTERPRETATION? Although bias is unavoidable in any opinion, you should be suspicious of the speaker’s motives. Often times, opinion results not from experience or education, but from economic reward or political loyalty. You can tell the difference between manipulative and honest motives by how much quality support the speaker provides for his opinion.HAS THE SOURCE BOLSTERED THE CLAIM WITH SUFFICIENT AND APPROPRIATE EVIDENCE? Even experts must do more than simply allege that a claim is valid or that the data exist. They must provide facts or details that support their own opinions.
15 Expert Opinion or Commentary Short Narrative Example TestimonyAnecdoteExpert Opinion or CommentaryShort Narrative Example
16 Self Check: Types of Evidence Review your body paragraphs and label each with the appropriate type of evidenceIf you do not have one of each example, make a note on your TO DO LIST of what you need to add or remove.
17 Self Check: Evidence Weight You should have an equal weight of evidence for both your pro and con sideParagraph length should be about equal as well.Note any areas that need to be expanded or condensed for revision
18 Integrating Quotations Using Signal Phrases four ways to integrate quotations
19 1. Introduce the quotation with a complete sentence and a colon. In "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For," Thoreau states directly his purpose for going into the woods: "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.“This is an easy rule to remember: if you use a complete sentence to introduce a quotation, you need a colon after the sentence. Using a comma in this situation will most likely create a comma splice, one of the serious sentence-boundary errors. Be careful not to confuse a colon (:) with a semicolon (;).
20 1. Introduce the quotation with a complete sentence and a colon. Example: Thoreau's philosophy might be summed up best by his repeated request for people to ignore the insignificant details of life: "Our life is frittered away by detail. An honest man has hardly need to count more than his ten fingers, or in extreme cases he may add his ten toes, and lump the rest. Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!”Example: Thoreau ends his essay with a metaphor: "Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in."
21 2. Use an introductory or explanatory phrase, but not a complete sentence, separated from the quotation with a comma.In "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For," Thoreau states directly his purpose for going into the woods when he says, "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”You should use a comma to separate your own words from the quotation when your introductory or explanatory phrase ends with a verb such as "says," "said," "thinks," "believes," "pondered," "recalls," "questions," and "asks" (and many more). You should also use a comma when you introduce a quotation with a phrase such as "According to Thoreau."
22 Thoreau asks, "Why should we live with such hurry and waste of life?" 2. Use an introductory or explanatory phrase, but not a complete sentence, separated from the quotation with a comma.Thoreau asks, "Why should we live with such hurry and waste of life?"According to Thoreau, "We do not ride on the railroad; it rides upon us."
23 3. Make the quotation a part of your own sentence without any punctuation between your own words and the words you are quoting.In "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For," Thoreau states directly his purpose for going into the woods when he says that "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”Notice that the word "that" is used in two of the examples above, and when it is used as it is in the examples, "that" replaces the comma which would be necessary without "that" in the sentence. You usually have a choice, then, when you begin a sentence with a phrase such as "Thoreau says." You either can add a comma after "says," or you can add the word "that," with no comma.
24 3. Make the quotation a part of your own sentence without any punctuation between your own words and the words you are quoting.Thoreau argues that "shams and delusions are esteemed for soundest truths, while reality is fabulous."According to Thoreau, people are too often "thrown off the track by every nutshell and mosquito's wing that falls on the rails."
25 4. Use very short quotations--only a few words--as part of your own sentence. In "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For," Thoreau states that his retreat to the woods around Walden Pond was motivated by his desire "to live deliberately" and to face only "the essential facts of life.”When you integrate quotations in this way, you do not use any special punctuation. Instead, you should punctuate the sentence just as you would if all of the words were your own.
26 4. Use very short quotations--only a few words--as part of your own sentence. Thoreau argues that people blindly accept "shams and delusions" as the "soundest truths," while regarding reality as "fabulous."Although Thoreau "drink[s] at" the stream of Time, he can "detect how shallow it is."
27 Notice the Punctuation! Notice that there are only two punctuation marks that are used to introduce quotations: the comma and the colon.
28 Notice the Punctuation! Notice as well the punctuation of the sentences above in relation to the quotations. Commas and periods go inside the final quotation mark ("like this."). For whatever reason, this is the way we do it in America.
29 COMMAS AND QUOTATION MARKS! Rule 1: When a comma or a period is necessary in a sentence it ALWAYS goes inside the quotation marks.She said, "Hurry up."She said, "He said, 'Hurry up.'"The sign changed from "Walk," to "Don't Walk," to "Walk" again within 30 seconds.NOTE: This rule applies even when the unit enclosed at the end of the sentence is just a single word rather than an actual quotation:To get to the next page, just press the little button marked "Enter."
30 COMMAS AND QUOTATION MARKS! Rule 2: The only exception is when that last little item enclosed in quotation marks is just a letter or a number, in which case the period or comma will go outside the closing quotation marks.The buried treasure was marked on the map with a large "X".The only grade that will satisfy her is an "A".On this scale, the highest ranking is a "1", not a "10".
31 COMMAS AND QUOTATION MARKS! MLA Reminder:If you're quoting a source and citing that source in parentheses at the end of the sentence, the period should follow the parentheses.In his article “Free Culture,” Lawrence Lessig claims, "the Internet should at least force us to rethink the conditions under which the law of copyright automatically applies" (140).
32 Notice the Punctuation! Semicolons and colons go outside of the final quotation mark ("like this";).Question marks and exclamation points go outside of the final quotation mark if the punctuation mark is part of your sentence--your question or your exclamation ("like this"?). Those marks go inside of the final quotation mark if they are a part of the original--the writer's question or exclamation ("like this!").
33 Discursive Argument – Workshop #1 Peer EditDiscursive Argument – Workshop #1In today’s workshop, you will comment on the following elements in your peers’ papers:Quote FormatAre the quotes integrated correctly and smoothly? (consult handout)Are the quotes cited correctly? “quote”(source and page #).Quote QualityIs the evidence used effective and directly supportive of the point being made?Is the evidence strong and credible?CommentaryDoes the paper have roughly 70% commentary and 30% evidence?Does the commentary clearly and unbiasedly explain the reasoning of the pro and con arguments? (Consult Chace – he doesn’t persuade you to his perspective, he raises points of the argument and comments on their reasoning / validity)
34 HomeworkRevise Body Paragraphs by next block (You must be able to prove revision!)Add Background/Context Paragraph(s)This should include information necessary for your reader to understand the issueKey vocabulary should be definedHistorical information tracing the argument outlinedBuild the importance of the issueDirect evidence is appropriate in this sectionDon‘t get carried away. What would an educated adult need to understand?Print and read the Frame Handout on the Website
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