Presentation on theme: "Welcome to Magic 1-2-3 Please take a packet and the handouts on the table. Help yourself to refreshments. Please answer the parent questions. Meet other."— Presentation transcript:
1Welcome to Magic 1-2-3Please take a packet and the handouts on the table.Help yourself to refreshments.Please answer the parent questions.Meet other parents who share your concerns.
2Caley Elementary School Behavior Magic 1, 2, 3Caley Elementary SchoolMrs. Barbara MicucciSchool Counselor
4Agenda Parent Questions Video of “Little Adult Assumption” Introduce premise of MagicShow video segment using MagicCommon concerns and special circumstances“Start” behaviorsCircle of SupportQuestionsEvaluation
5Parent Questions1. What techniques for discipline did your parents use? Were they effective?2. What is the most difficult behavior for you to manage with your child?3. What do you do to manage that behavior?Is it effective?4. What would you like to walk away with today?5. What do you enjoy about your child/ children?
6Parent Concerns Procrastination – having to tell my child more than once to do thingsDoing jobs independently and accepting consequences for poorly done jobsGetting my children to listen to meFighting with each otherTalking back and saying “No”Being so negativeBedtimeIgnoring me when I speak to him/herCompleting a task
7Parent Concerns Tantrums and whining Getting him up in the morning Getting them to do daily choresBedtimeDinner time takes forever for them to eatGetting her to sleep in her own bedthrough the nightArguing over everythingCleaning up after themselvesFinding time to spend with herDoing homework in a timely fashion
82 Types of Behaviors: Stop and Start There are behaviors that you want to “STOP.” These include the frequent minor everyday behaviors such as:WhiningArguingYellingTemper tantrumsFightingSibling rivalryWith STOP behaviors you will want to use Magic and use counting followed by a time-out.
9Practicing an instrument Getting up and out in the morning Start BehaviorsStart behaviors include positive activities like:Cleaning their roomDoing homeworkPracticing an instrumentGetting up and out in the morningGoing to bedEatingWith START behaviors you would use one of the following techniques to get your child to do the behavior:praise, simple requests, kitchen timers, the docking system, natural consequences, charting or a version of the
10Premise Behind Magic 1-2-3 One explanationNo talking – No emotion – the power is in the silenceAuthority is not negotiablePunishment is short – 1 minute time out for each year of lifeAs kids get older there is more democracy
11Testing and Manipulation Badgering: Why, why, please, pleaseIntimidation: Yelling, screamingThreatening: “I’ll never talk to you again”Martyrdom: Crying, poutingButter Up: Do something to make youfeel goodPhysical: Attacking you or running awayThese are all tactics to get what they want because they are frustrated.DON‘T GIVE IN!
12Time Out AlternativesFor those times where time-out might not be possible when a child reaches a count of 3, here is a list of some alternatives:Earlier bedtimeLoss of TV for eveningLoss of a toy – for therest of the daySmall choreMonetary fineWrite a paragraphLoss of Gameboy – 2hoursRemoval of CD or DVDplayerNo dessert or treatNo use of phoneLarger chore – weed yardNo conversation – 15 mins.No friend overReduced computer time
13Time-Out Alternatives Groundings, fines, chores and losses like these can be very useful as consequences.Remember to keep the punishment fair and reasonable.Your goal is to teach the child something, not to be cruel or get revenge.
14Special Circumstances Sibling Rivalry:If both children are fighting both kids get countedNever ask “Who started it?” or “What happened?” except if someone is bleedingNever expect the older child to be more mature when they are fighting (Older one may get longer time out)If you don’t see it, don’t count itDon’t send 2 fighting kids to the same roomTemper Tantrums: Time out does not start until tantrum is overPouting: You can count pouting
15Tactics for Starting Behaviors Praise / Positive Reinforcement (Should exceed your counting 4 times to 1). Use intermittent reinforcement as well as praising in front of someone else.Simple requests: Avoid “should” thinkingAdd rewards and consequences (Dock child if they don’t do it)Kitchen timers - Play beat the clockDocking SystemNatural consequences – natural effects take overCharting – stickers or number ratings. Could just use these or add a reward onto it.Magic
16Start Behaviors Cleaning their Room or Picking Up Eating Dinner Close the door and don’t look methodWeekly clean up routineUse a kitchen timer and docking systemEating DinnerCould use natural consequences with older kidsUse a timer – give small portions if they finish they get dessertEating can be considered a start/stop behavior if they are playing around count themBedtimePick a time, ½ hour before have them get ready
17Start Behaviors Up and Out in the Morning Homework Break into segments 8 years old and younger use a chart and list what they need to doUse kitchen timerUse lots of praise9 years old and older natural consequencesGive them an alarm clock if they are late they suffer consequencesHomeworkBreak into segmentsUse as assignment sheet to see what they haveUse a 5 point charting system – 1 point for each of the following: neatness, thorough, correct, no complaining, and starting on your own without being reminded. If you get a 5 you get a reward or bonus
18Possible Reinforcers A “No Chore” voucher A trip for ice-cream Brightly colored tokensA small toyRenting a special gameMoneyStaying up past bedtimeRenting a special movieA grab-bag surpriseOuting with a parentShopping tripSleepoverPlaying a game with parentA “No Chore” voucherCamping out in backyardCard for a collectionSnack of choiceBreakfast in bedComic book or magazineFriend over for dinnerChoice of three reinforcersSleeping with petReading a story with parentHelping make and eat cookies
19Parent References1 – 2 – 3 Magic – Effective Discipline for Children 2 – 12 by Dr. Thomas Phelan 9 (2nd and 3rd edition)1 – 2 – 3 Magic Video by Dr. Thomas PhelanMore 1 – 2 – 3 Magic Video by Dr. Thomas PhelanNo More Misbehavin’ by Michele Borba - 38 difficult behaviors and how to stop themParents Do Make a Difference by Michele Borba – How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds, and Caring HeartsGo To Your Room! – Consequences that Teach by Shari SteelsmithRewards for Kids! by Dr.Virginia Shiller and Meg Schneider – charts and activities for positive parentingRaising Your Spirited Child by Mary KurcinkaHow To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine MazlishHow to Behave So Your Children Will, Too! By Sal SevereDiscipline Without Shouting or Spanking by Jerry Wyckoff and Barbara Unell
20If you let your children do anything they please, A Final Thought…If you let your children do anything they please,Eventually you won’t be pleased by anything they do.