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DATING RELATIONSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE Ms. Fitchwell Health Education.

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Presentation on theme: "DATING RELATIONSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE Ms. Fitchwell Health Education."— Presentation transcript:

1 DATING RELATIONSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE Ms. Fitchwell Health Education

2 Dating Relationships  It is Important to remember that the teen years are a time of trying different relationships and roles  Breaking up, making up, and breaking up again can be painful, but it is part of a process of becoming emotionally mature  Honesty and open communication are essential

3 Dating Relationships Going out in Groups ◦Good way to ease into dating ◦Less responsibility for keeping the conversation going ◦Less likely to feel self- conscious ◦Being less nervous allows you to have a better time and be yourself more easily Some teens choose not to date at all due to other interests, commitments, or not emotionally ready

4 Teens talk about LOVE: vd.html?tracking=T_RelatedArticle#cat20767http://teenshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/teens-talk-love- vd.html?tracking=T_RelatedArticle#cat20767

5 Relationships Peer Pressure PEER PRESSURE: the control and influence people your own age may have over you MANIPULATION: a sneaky and dishonest way to control or influence others ◦A person who manipulates others does so to get what he/ she wants without respect for the well- being of the other person ◦Types of Manipulation include ◦Mocking or teasing ◦Bargaining ◦Bribing ◦Making threats ◦Using blackmail ◦Using guilt trips

6 Responding to Negative Peer Pressure Be Assertive! THE PASSIVE WAY: giving up, giving in, or backing down without standing up for your own rights ◦M◦May lead to Bullying Questions to Consider: How is Bullying a form of Peer Pressure? How do bullies try to manipulate other people? What are some healthy ways to deal with bullies?

7 Dealing with Bullying Bullying IS a BIG Deal BULLYING: when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group with more power ◦Could be physical strength or social standing What are the two main reasons people are bullied? ◦Appearance: ◦Clothes they wear, haircut, etc. ◦Social Status: ◦The way someone acts, race, religion, sexuality ◦http://www.bullyfree.com/free-resources/seven-things-kids-need-to- know-about-bullyinghttp://www.bullyfree.com/free-resources/seven-things-kids-need-to- know-about-bullying ◦http://kidshealth.org/teen/school_jobs/bullying/bullies.htmlhttp://kidshealth.org/teen/school_jobs/bullying/bullies.html

8 Dealing with Bullying Bullies Attack Physically ◦Shoving, tripping, punching, etc. Bullies Attack Psychologically ◦Verbal insults, labeling, name calling, etc ◦Cyber bullyingCyber bullying ◦Cyber Bullying MissouriCyber Bullying Missouri One of the MOST painful aspects of Bullying is its RELENTLESSNESS Studies show that people who are abused by their peers are at risk for mental health problems ◦Depression ◦Anxiety People who are bullied may also develop physical illness ◦Stomach pains, extreme stress levels, etc.

9 Bullying Bullies are at risk for developing problems as well ◦Often leads to more violent behavior as the bully grows up ◦As many as 25% of elementary school bullies have a criminal record by the time they are 30 years old ◦May end up being rejected by their peers ◦Do not do as well in school ◦Often do not have the career or relationship success that other people enjoy

10 Who Bullies? Both boys and girls can be bullies May be outgoing and aggressive May try to manipulate in subtle, deceptive ways Like to dominate others Have often been bullied in the past themselves Often have poor social skills and poor social judgment People who are insecure with themselves Put others down to make themselves feel more interesting or powerful Some have personality disorders

11 What Can You Do About Bullying? Ignore (can be harder than loosing your temper)-bullies thrive off of attention ◦Do not show emotions, anger is the response they are looking for. When to tell an adult ◦Younger kids should ALWAYS tell an adult ◦Teens should tell an adult if there have been threats of physical danger or harm ◦Many teens have died when threats, and attacks were unreported and the silence gave the bully an “ok” to become more and more violent

12 What Can You Do About Bullying? Don’t Get Physical ◦Do NOT use physical force ◦You cannot be sure how the bully will respond Talk About It ◦Guidance Counselor, Teacher, or Friend ◦Good outlet for fears and frustrations Find Your True Friends ◦Find one or two good friends you can confide in that the bully has hurt your feelings ◦Tell those friends about the truth of the rumors the bully may be starting about you

13 Where Violence Occurs Violence can occur in any relationship ◦Family Violence ◦Spousal Abuse- abuse of wife/husband ◦Child Abuse- abuse of child ◦Neglect- failure to provide for a child’s physical/emotional needs ◦Dating Violence ◦Rape- any forced sexual activity that is unwanted ◦Date Abuse- mental, emotional, physical abuse of a BF/GF ◦Community Violence ◦Personal Assault- unlawful attack with the intent to harm ◦Homicide- willful killing of another person ◦Gang Related

14 What is abuse? Physical- harm to the body ◦Punching, Kicking, Pushing, Biting, Shaking, Use of Weapons Emotional- attacking a person’s sense of worth ◦Putdowns, Shouting/Screaming, Name calling, and Threats of other violence Sexual- sexual contact against persons will ◦Touching, Gestures, Speaking, Intercourse

15 Bell Ringer Feb. 11 th 1.Define the term manipulation. How do bullies use manipulation to bully others? (provide at least 3 forms of manipulation) 2.What are the 2 main reasons people are bullied? 3.List 3 benefits of going out in groups.

16 Signs of Abuse ANY physical harm Controlling ◦Dress, Friends, What you say Humiliation ◦Puts you down, then tells you “I love you” Threats ◦Especially if you want to leave relationship Twists the truth ◦Wants you to feel at fault Keeps track of you Jealousy/Anger when you are around others

17 Cycle of Abuse Honeymoon Phase

18 CYCLE OF ABUSE 1. Honeymoon Stage- Both people are happy in relationship 2. Tension Phase- Tension build between people, abusive person gets frustrated with other. 3. Abuse Stage- Shortest stage / Most harmful ◦This stage is based on one specific incident that leads to an explosion of anger. 4. Apologies/Excuse Stage-Abuser calms and tries to make up for abuse by returning to honeymoon phase

19 How YOU can Avoid Violence Recognize ◦Become aware of the acts that are abusive ◦The Best way to protect yourself is to become aware. Resist ◦If anyone tries to abuse you, be assertive and stand up for yourself. Report ◦If treated in an abusive manner, get away and tell someone ASAP. ◦Report abuse of others.

20 Breaking the Cycle You can help break the cycle of abuse. If you or someone you know is being abused… ◦Tell a trusted adult. Ask them for help to resolve the problem. ◦Contact an abuse hot line or crisis center that can help. ◦Report the abuse to the police. The Cycle of Violence

21 Community Support Who can you turn to for help? ◦Parents, Teachers, Trusted Adult ◦Student Assistance Team at BVA ◦Crisis Centers/Hotlines ◦Local Law Enforcement ◦Family Counseling ◦Support Groups- groups of individuals with similar problems

22 Discussion Questions: What are some reasons why people would not report the abuse that they are receiving? 1.Low self-esteem: doubt self and think you’re the one who is overreacting 2.FEAR: fear retaliation, assume their name will not remain anonymous 3.Embarrassment: Worried that others will judge them 4.Some people assume that it is not their business to report abuse 5.LOVE: Hope that the abuser will change, do not want to make abuser angry Are the reasons different for the following relationships: Family, Dating, Community?

23 Bell Ringer Feb. 12 th 1.Provide 5 resources that you could go to report an abusive relationship. 2. Draw and label the cycle of violence. I.Trusted Adult II.SAP Team III.Police IV.Family Counseling V.Support Groups

24 Dating Violence Dating violence ◦Abuse in dating relationships which can be physical, emotional or sexual ◦Gateway CheerleaderGateway Cheerleader ◦http://www.wqed.org/tv/watch/?series=1&id=124http://www.wqed.org/tv/watch/?series=1&id=124 ◦Mt. LebanonMt. Lebanon Problem: Teens often see abuse or dominant treatment as a sign of love and emotion. Solution: Recognize that no one deserves to be abused or controlled.

25 Warm-Up Feb. 13 th 1. List 3 signs that a relationship may be turning towards abuse. 2. How can you avoid violence?

26 Signs Indicating Unhealthy Dating Relationships These signs may indicate that an unhealthy relationship is moving toward abuse: ◦Expression of Jealousy ◦Attempts to control a partner’s behaviors ◦Cell phones, keeping tabs on what you do ◦Use of insults or put-downs to manipulate a partner ◦Use of guilt to manipulate a partner Remember, healthy relationships involves kindness, caring and respect, not control and abuse.

27 Date Rape vs. Acquaintance Rape ALARMING STATISTICS Over 80% of rape victims know their attackers. One of the most common types of acquaintance rape is date rape. If you are a female between the ages of 16-24, you run the greatest risk of being raped by a date. The use of alcohol or drugs also increases your risk. In one study, 74% of the men and 55% of the women had been drinking or using drugs prior to the sexual assault. Date Rape 1 person in a dating relationship forces the other to participate in a sexual act Acquaintance Rape Someone known casually or considered a friend forces a person to perform a sexual act

28 Stages of Date Rape Date Rape typically occurs in 3 stages: ◦Stage 1 - The aggressor (usually the male) enters the other person's "personal space" (kissing, hand on thigh, etc.). ◦Stage 2 - The partner (usually the female) does not assertively stop the behavior, and the aggressor thinks it is okay. ◦Stage 3 - The aggressor gets the couple to a secluded place where the rape occurs.

29 Drugs and Rape Alcohol is involved in as many as 2/3 of all date rape cases in college students. In recent years, drugs are becoming more common. ◦GHB and Rohypnol= Date Rape Drugs ◦Cause blackouts and loss of memory ◦Slipped into food and drink

30 Effects of Rape Physically ◦STI’s ◦HIV/AIDS ◦Scars, Cuts, Bruises from force Mental/Emotional ◦Feelings of hopelessness ◦Stress and anxiety ◦Feeling of unclean Socially ◦Become more introverted ◦Less likely to trust others ◦May be seen as “less than whole” by others

31 Dating Violence Statistics 1 in 11 adolescents reports being a victim of physical dating violence CDC CDC in 4 adolescents reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual violence each year (Foshee et al. 1996; Avery-Leaf et al. 1997). 1 in 5 adolescents reports being a victim of emotional violence (Halpern et al. 2001). 1 in 5 high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner (Silverman et al. 2001). 72% of eighth and ninth graders reportedly "date" (Foshee et al. 1996); by the time they are in high school, 54% of students report dating violence among their peers (Jafe et al. 1992).

32 NEED MORE???Dating Violence Statistics 70% of girls and 52% of boys who are abused report an injury from a violent relationship. (Foshee 1996). 8% of boys and 9% of girls have been to an emergency room for an injury received from a dating partner (Foshee 1996). Victims of dating violence are not only at increased risk for injury, they are also more likely to engage in binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fights, and currently sexual activity CDC 2006.CDC 2006 Rates of drug, alcohol, and tobacco use are more than twice as high in girls who report physical or sexual dating violence than in girls who report no violence (Plichta 1996).

33 Dating Precautions 1.Know your date more than casually 2.Similar age dates 3.Assertively set boundaries 4.Avoid being alone 5.Do not use drugs 6.Watch food and drink. Get them for yourself.

34 Homework Criteria Homework Directions ◦Use the Yellow Pages and/or Internet to identify 5 community resources for Relationship Violence ◦Resources must be local (412 or 724 area code) ◦Identify the following for each resource ◦Name of Organization ◦Phone Number ◦Hotline Number ◦Website (if applicable) Example: Pittsburgh Action Against Rape (Main Number) END-RAPE (HOTLINE)

35 Find Local Help Directions: Using the following key words and the Yellow pages, look for community help in your area. Key Words: (Pennsylvania) ◦Counseling, ◦Child Abuse, ◦Crisis Intervention, ◦Social Workers, ◦Domestic Abuse, ◦Human Service Organization, ◦Social and Human Service Organization

36 Answer Your Questions Students are told to write down any question they may have concerning dating. The teacher will read any questions and the class will discuss in a open forum their thoughts and opinions. The teacher will assist in correcting any incorrect knowledge as the class conversation progresses.

37 Resources Kids Health (Abusive Relationships) Kids Health (Abuse) T.E.A.R


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