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To Face Stress with Success, Are you feeling stressed? Do you have difficulty facing conflict? Do you delay making tough decisions? Enter Here.

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Presentation on theme: "To Face Stress with Success, Are you feeling stressed? Do you have difficulty facing conflict? Do you delay making tough decisions? Enter Here."— Presentation transcript:

1 To Face Stress with Success, Are you feeling stressed? Do you have difficulty facing conflict? Do you delay making tough decisions? Enter Here

2 Purpose By reading and responding to these situations, you will: Learn about some common stressors in life Discover some strategies for dealing with stress positively This program is for instructional purposes only and not meant to be a substitute for assessment, diagnosis or treatment by a licensed mental health counselor. NEXT

3 Directions Within each category, you will examine several situations. Throughout the situation, you will be asked questions which will require you to: Weigh the alternatives Consider the consequences Pick an option Not all scenes describe your situation exactly, but the principles can be applied in many situations. NEXT BACK HOME EXIT

4 Family/Relationship Stress Workaholic A Headache Again? Click on one of the scenarios below. Bridal Mayhem HOME EXIT

5 Directions Please answer all the questions and keep track of your score on a sheet of paper. You will be able to check your score at the conclusion. When you see you can click it for advice or feedback. NEXT BACK HOME MENU EXIT

6 Jenny & Stephen have been married for seven years. They met through a mutual friend. Stephen runs an internet business from home, while Jenny works in marketing for a major corporation. Jenny received a promotion into management in May. At first Stephen was very excited for his wife. But in the past three months Jenny has spent every waking moment working hard to impress the VP of the marketing division. She even chose to stay behind to work while Stephen traveled back home in August to visit family and friends. Workaholic NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

7 Lately, Jenny has noticed that Stephen has been forgetting to do things—taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, dropping of the dry cleaning—the chores he agreed to help out with so she could put the extra effort into her new assignment at work. Today when Jenny arrives home, Stephen is no where to be found and the house is a mess. How could Stephen let things go like this? After all, his job was not nearly as demanding as hers and he agreed to help out since he’s the one that works from home. Workaholic NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

8 Decision Time I can’t believe he was so thoughtless! How could he forget his promise to help out? Doesn’t he know how important this job is to me! This is not like Stephen—I hope there’s nothing wrong. I think I need to talk with him to find out what’s going on. If there’s a problem, we need to deal with it now before things get out of hand. Please click your choice of what Jenny should do. I’m sure he had a good reason. I’ll just leave him an text message. I guess I’ll order in pizza and get to work on the new product brochures. NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

9 Dr. V says … 10 points Ignoring the warning signs of a potential problem could lead to bigger problems. Stay in tune with your other half by being aware of nonverbal signals. 50 points Being aware of the warning signs is an important part of dealing with problems in a relationship. If there is a problem, it can be worked out before the situation gets worse. 20 points Being aware of the problem is the first step. However, reacting in a way that blames your partner might lead to a fight rather than a healthy conversation. NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

10 Workaholic Jenny decides to ignore the situation. She sends Stephen a text message to remind him about the dry-cleaning and then returns to her work. She goes to bed before Stephen returns home. Over the next few days, Jenny arrives home to an empty house. Stephen always seems to be gone and nothing seems to be getting done. He comes home in the wee hours of the morning—always asleep when she leaves for work. Finally fed up, she calls him, only to find that he is out at a club with his friends. NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

11 I don’t have time for this. The new product launch is in two weeks and I’ve got too much to do. If he’s got a problem, he would have said something. I wonder why Stephen is acting this way. I’m worried that something is wrong. I’ll take tomorrow off to stay home and talk to him when he wakes up. Something is seriously wrong! Why would Stephen act this way? I have to get over to the club right now and talk to him! Decision Time Please click your choice of what Jenny should do. NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

12 50 points Although one might want immediate resolution, there will be less chance of the discussion escalating out of control if both people are in a better frame of mind. 20 points Attempting to resolve the problem by confronting the other person, especially if they have been drinking, might put them on the defensive. Waiting until both of you are calm might be a better idea. 10 points Putting the blame on the other person is not a positive step to resolving the problem. Calm down before talking to them and listen with an open mind. Dr. V says … NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

13 Being the type-A personality that Jenny is, she decides to rush over to the club to confront Stephen. He’s obviously had a few drinks and not happy to see her. Jenny demands that Stephen explain what is going on. Stephen, in his drunken state, totally unloads on Jenny—telling her how she doesn’t have any time for him ever since she got the promotion. He says that unless something changes, he wants a divorce! Jenny stops cold, recoiling like someone just punched her in the stomach. Workaholic NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

14 I had no idea it was this bad. I’ve been so caught up with work that I’ve stopped paying attention to what was going on at home. We need to talk! Whoa! Why didn’t he say something sooner? How was I to know there was a problem? I can’t believe he’s going to ruin everything for us. Doesn’t he realize how important this is to me? To us? I can’t deal with this now. I’m going home! Decision Time Please click your choice of what Jenny should do. NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

15 10 points When things come to a head, it is smart to avoid getting caught up in the argument. Walking away, however, might give the message that you don’t want to hear what the other person has to say. Diffuse the situation by telling them that you want to talk about it, but at a time when you are both calm. 50 points Having that moment of realization can be a first step to opening up the channels of communication. Being able to take some of the blame may help to break down any walls that have started to form. 20 points Being caught off guard is a sign that one has not paying attention to the warning signs. Avoid reacting angrily or totally shutting down. Keep the lines of communication open and be willing to listen with an open mind. Dr. V says … NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

16 They spent the next day together and had a very long discussion about how her long work hours were affecting their relationship. Stephen admitted that he should have said something when he started feeling neglected but he was afraid he would have been accused of not being supportive. Jenny could see his side but reminded him of their discussion months back when she decided to take the promotion. She promised it would be better in a few weeks after the new product launch. Stephen agreed to be patient for now but insisted that they make time one day each weekend to spend together. Jenny hesitantly agreed. They have a compromise for now but they will both need to work on keeping the channels of communication open to avoid hitting another wall. Outcome Jenny apologized to Stephen for being so blind to what was happening. She convinced him to come home and get some sleep so they could talk about it in the morning. NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

17 Conclusions  In learning the signs of a healthy marriage and the warning signals of marital distress, you can do preventative maintenance on your relationship.  Ignoring the warning signals of marital distress could lead to much larger problems in the relationship.  Avoid discussing a problem when one or both of you are highly emotional or may have your judgment impaired by alcohol. Find a time when you are both calm and open to listening to each other.  Listen with an open mind and acknowledge your partner’s feelings. Rushing to judgment and placing blame on the other person will be detrimental to working out the problem.  A healthy relationship requires work, which starts with self- awareness. NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

18 Summary Feedback More than 90 points: More than 90 points: Indicates a sound understanding of the principles related to dealing with marital stress points: points: Indicates an adequate understanding of the principles related to dealing with marital stress. Less than 60 points: Less than 60 points: Indicates limited understanding of the principles related to dealing with marital stress. For further information, you may refer to the links on the next page. NEXT BACK MENU HOME EXIT

19 Websites and Materials Please review the links below for additional information. Matters of the Heart: Marital Bliss or Abyss? What Do You Need to Feel Loved? The Stages of Effective Conflict Resolution: Part 1 Effective Conflict Resolution: Part 2 NEXT BACK MENU EXIT HOME

20 Are you sure you want to exit? YES NO

21 Goodbye and good luck applying Dr. V’s Principles of Stress Management! CLICK TO EXIT CLICK TO EXIT


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