Presentation on theme: "How to stop worrying and start feeling good about Project Arrow."— Presentation transcript:
How to stop worrying and start feeling good about Project Arrow
Negative prediction about future events Worry usually involves a specific thoughts or idea about unpleasant outcomes. Worry is hardly a pleasant experience Negative thoughts is far from enjoyable We do spending large portions of our day dwelling on our many fearful predictions
Worrying is a lasting preoccupation with past or future bad events It is a type of thinking that makes you feel as if you were reliving a past event or living out a future one you cannot stop those thoughts from occurring.
Such thoughts are often characterized by the phrases "If only..." and "What if..." Worry bothers almost everyone periodically Whenever you are facing problems, your mind will be addressing them and trying to figure out what to do
The mind is a remarkable instrument, able to call back past memories and to picture possible future events With these abilities, it can take advantage of everything you have learned to help you to adapt to the world. But at times, worry can create emotional stress.
You can find yourself thinking about past events that were depressing or anxiety-provoking at the time they happened. You can think about all kinds of future events that might happen and which would make you feel badly if they did.
At times, for no obvious reason, you just can't stop thinking about such things. Each time you do think about them, your body reacts just as if the event were actually happening or about to happen.
For example, recall the last time someone criticized you or said something hurtful, or think about a friend acting in an unkind way towards you in the future. The more you think about this happening, the worse you feel.
The amazing thing about thinking of such events is that they are not actually happening right now. They exist only in your mind. Yet how you feel right now is being influenced by something that no longer exists or does not yet exist
Most of the time, if such thoughts come to mind, you can recognize that those events are not happening and can readily dismiss them. Other times, however, you find that you cannot ignore such thoughts; they continue to return to your awareness, and you just cannot stop them.
If only..." refers to thoughts about an unhappy event that you wish hadn't happened. The event has left you with an unresolved emotional feeling, and under these circumstances
your mind continues to try to resolve it, trying to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it. Unfortunately, in many cases, because the event has already happened, nothing can be done.
You cannot go back into the past and miraculously have the event turn out differently. But when your mind recalls the event, its natural tendency is to keep trying to solve the problem it represented.
"What if..." refers to thoughts about the future. In the case of worry, these thoughts are about any number of possible disagreeable things that could happen
"What if I have an automobile accident?" "What if I run out of money and can't pay my bills?“
"What if my spouse should someday no longer love me?" "What if I make a mistake and everyone thinks I'm a fool because of it?"
Each of these is a possible future event. If you think about it enough, you can make yourself depressed or anxious, no matter how unlikely it is that such an event will actually happen.
Unfortunately, in many cases, because the event has already happened, nothing can be done.
Practically every thing ! We worry about the little things We worry about the high things Ex. I am afraid I won’t be able to make this months mortgage payment
We worry about the practical things I wonder if the boss will like my presentation We worry about impractical things I wonder if global warming will effect property values
We worry about the ordinary Ex I bet the car won’t start. We worry about the Fantastic Ex. A giant comet could hit the earth and destroy life us owe knew it. We worry about the immediate. Did I leave the stove on?
Most people will worry if an unpleasant event has just happened and it involved something or someone very important to them. Suddenly losing your money, having a hurtful argument with someone close to you, having an automobile accident, or making a mistake, will naturally result in your mind trying to cope with the feelings that those events aroused.
Similarly, you will probably worry if a highly probable unwanted event is coming your way. Your mind may try to work out how to avoid a bad outcome if:
You have to drive in very bad weather A sudden large expense occurs There is real evidence that your spouse is no longer as loving as he/she used to be
You are facing an important challenge at work or in your social life where poor performance on your part is a real possibility
If worrying is a natural response of the mind to disagreeable events that have happened or have some likelihood of happening, when is worry undesirable? How much worry is too much?
There is no absolute answer to this question, but there are some good general guidelines. While thinking about a past bad event might be natural shortly after it occurs, constantly thinking about it long afterwards is not adaptive for you. If there is nothing that can be done about the past, it is time to let go of it and get on with your life
When faced with upcoming problems, anticipating the future and planning ways to avoid bad events and create good events are adaptive behavior (everyday living skills that are learned), but constant thinking about possibilities is not useful.
Worry is a problem if: Your thinking is causing intense emotional distress and has been interfering with your daily functioning for some time In general, it is not quickly or clearly providing solutions.
In the case of "What if...?" worries, there is another useful guideline: Worry is natural only to the extent that the feared future event is really likely to happen
If a spot occurs on your skin, it is wise to have a physician take a look at it. "What if it is cancer?" may be an adaptive thought that leads to the adaptive response of seeing a physician
To worry about it very much in the meanwhile, after making an appointment with the physician, would be nonproductive, because the likelihood of actual cancer is low
To worry about it after the physician says that it is not cancer is even less adaptive, because the likelihood of cancer is then extremely low. So in general, worry is maladaptive if the things you worry about are not very likely to happen.
If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did: Live in "day-tight compartments. " Don't stew about the futures. Just live each day until bedtime
The next time Trouble--with a Capital T--backs you up in a corner, try the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier: Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem? Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst--if necessary. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst--which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Those who do not know how to fight worry die young."
Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia University said that "half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision."Columbia University
After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision. Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision--and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.
When you, or any of your associates, are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions: What is the problem? What is the cause of the problem? What are all possible solutions? What is the best solution?
Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing "wibber gibbers." Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit little things--the mere termites of life--to ruin your happiness.
Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: "It is so; it cannot be otherwise." Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.. Ask yourself: "What are the odds against this thing's happening at all?"
Put a "stop-less" order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth-- and refuse to give it anymore. Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw sawdust.
Let's fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make it." Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.
– Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day-- and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?Jesus
– Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude--but to give for the joy of giving. – Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
Count your blessings--not your troubles! Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves, for "envy is ignorance" and "imitation is suicide." When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.
Let's forget our own unhappiness--by trying to create a little happiness for others. "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself."
Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog. Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.
Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's do what E.H. Little did: let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.
Rest before you get tired. Learn to relax at your work. Learn to relax at home.
Apply these four good workings habits: Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand. Do things in the order of their importance. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts to make a decision. Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.
To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work. Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage--not the insomnia.
Happy people spend more ‘time’ in happy moods. Happy people spend more ‘time’ socializing Happy people spend more time doing things enjoy Happy people organize their time better They spend more ‘time doing things they feel are important The list goes on…