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Family Developmental Trauma, Interrupted Safety and Disturbed Attachment Kenneth Perlmutter, PhD Founder, Family Recovery Institute

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Presentation on theme: "Family Developmental Trauma, Interrupted Safety and Disturbed Attachment Kenneth Perlmutter, PhD Founder, Family Recovery Institute"— Presentation transcript:

1 Family Developmental Trauma, Interrupted Safety and Disturbed Attachment Kenneth Perlmutter, PhD Founder, Family Recovery Institute or

2 With that Moon Language Admit something: Everyone you see You say to them “Love me.” Of course you do not do this out loud Otherwise someone would call the cops. Still, though, think about this: This great pull in us to connect. Why not become the one who lives With a full moon in each eye that is Always saying With that sweet moon language What every other eye in This world is Dying to hear? --Hafiz

3 Psychosomatic families: understanding relational trauma Interruptions in safety Enmeshment, disengagement Rigidity, constriction Over-protectiveness Lack of conflict resolution Secrets, alliances, feuds Emotional volatility Body-based communication Spiritual disconnection 6 D’s

4 Stress Induced Impaired Coping ™ Danger Disorder Disconnection Doubt Deprivation Denial Distract Blame Fix Escape SHAME ©2011 K Perlmutter PhD

5 Systemic implications of inter- generational trauma Inter-generational and systemic pathways  Predisposing (genetics, environment, culture)  Precipitating (T or complex t, loss, dissonance)  Perpetuating (starvation, SA, invisibility, SIIC) Self and system: Templates for safety and visibility Parallels: ED pathology and family system dynamics  Low self-esteemSHAME  OCDDisease-perpetuating rituals  PerfectionismQualified Achievement

6 Promoting system shift Safety/boundaries Image: portrayed/ expected vs. actual FOO inquiry Nutritional inventory: what feeds us? Identify sources of resistance (fear) Explore the family deal -- its emotional and relational aspects Generate empathy for interruptions in the sense of safety of any of the members. Guide elders to describe some of theirs Normalize impaired coping and honor its origins

7 Managing counter-transference working with wounded families Integrity, Emotional Reliability  Assume communications are essential and can be metabolized  What does patient need us to know: how might she be communicating? Self-monitoring / Self-care  Find sustainable posture  Create a precious retreat space Create rituals that promote connection Practice “Radical Acceptance”  Engage in presence of limits  Touch it with love

8 Emotional reliability Who are the followers and where are they leading us?


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