Presentation on theme: "Family Developmental Trauma, Interrupted Safety and Disturbed Attachment Kenneth Perlmutter, PhD Founder, Family Recovery Institute"— Presentation transcript:
Family Developmental Trauma, Interrupted Safety and Disturbed Attachment Kenneth Perlmutter, PhD Founder, Family Recovery Institute FamRecovery@gmail.comFamRecovery@gmail.com or 415-322-0939
With that Moon Language Admit something: Everyone you see You say to them “Love me.” Of course you do not do this out loud Otherwise someone would call the cops. Still, though, think about this: This great pull in us to connect. Why not become the one who lives With a full moon in each eye that is Always saying With that sweet moon language What every other eye in This world is Dying to hear? --Hafiz
Psychosomatic families: understanding relational trauma Interruptions in safety Enmeshment, disengagement Rigidity, constriction Over-protectiveness Lack of conflict resolution Secrets, alliances, feuds Emotional volatility Body-based communication Spiritual disconnection 6 D’s
Systemic implications of inter- generational trauma Inter-generational and systemic pathways Predisposing (genetics, environment, culture) Precipitating (T or complex t, loss, dissonance) Perpetuating (starvation, SA, invisibility, SIIC) Self and system: Templates for safety and visibility Parallels: ED pathology and family system dynamics Low self-esteemSHAME OCDDisease-perpetuating rituals PerfectionismQualified Achievement
Promoting system shift Safety/boundaries Image: portrayed/ expected vs. actual FOO inquiry Nutritional inventory: what feeds us? Identify sources of resistance (fear) Explore the family deal -- its emotional and relational aspects Generate empathy for interruptions in the sense of safety of any of the members. Guide elders to describe some of theirs Normalize impaired coping and honor its origins
Managing counter-transference working with wounded families Integrity, Emotional Reliability Assume communications are essential and can be metabolized What does patient need us to know: how might she be communicating? Self-monitoring / Self-care Find sustainable posture Create a precious retreat space Create rituals that promote connection Practice “Radical Acceptance” Engage in presence of limits Touch it with love
Emotional reliability Who are the followers and where are they leading us?