Part I: Approach Motivated Behavior Ill, Un-, Mal- & Other Anti- Con Pros... (for when you want something too bad to be honest) TM
Maladaptive Approach Strategies 1.FLATTERY: Boost the ego & Seduce for gain. 2.BARTER: Make yourself useful & Start bending the rules. 3.BRIBE: Exchange payment for values & Increase the ante. 4.DISOBEY: Be noncompliant & Then comply for gain.
Maladaptive Approach Strategies 5.DISTRESS: Create distress & Negotiate relief for gain. 6.OBLIGATE: Create a problem to solve & Deceive for merit. 7.BLACKMAIL: Show your concealed hand & Threaten to expose. 8.EXTORTION: Use violence to persuade & Destruction to force.
Flattery 1. Boost the ego and praise low self- esteem. 2. Study to be sensitive to issues and sympathetic to pains. 3. Give undivided attention, unconditional positive regard, and indiscriminant praise.
Flattery 4. Be quick to support anger and show no disapproval. 5.Play on dependency and give liberal approval and support to the needy. 6.Manipulate guilts and feed fears to become a source of safety and security.
Flattery 7.Seduce the naive, exploit the needy, and make foolish all those greedy of gain.
Barter 1.Make yourself useful and start bending the rules. 2.Constantly point out your own value and pay attention to detail. 3.Identify new ways to provide “work relief” and become a consultant or confidant with no fees up front.
Barter 4.Complement yourself frequently and say what kind of person you have always been. 5.Assert your good intentions and point out all the lessons you have learned. 6.Selectively provide information for gain and give advice slanted for advantage.
Barter 7.Matter-of-factly ask for increasing favors, always praising each help received (“Hey, thanks man!... I really appreciate that!”)... and be sure to reinforce the growing nature of your bond (“I owe you one!”).
Bribe 1.Every journey starts with a single step, so look around and see who’s already going your way 2.Talk about money and talk about values, see who joins in how, who barks and who bites.
Bribe 3.Initially conceal the nature of each act in positive terms... subtilty building up a habit of taking compliments and favors and gifts. 4.Whether for sex, drugs, money, self- esteem, comfort, or deluded love, test the waters with low risk favors (omission or commission)... just discover the right bait and “work the relationship” accordingly.
Bribe 5.Learn what to push, when to pull, where to back off, and how to keep the common grounds... just keep your eye on the prize! 6.Gather evidence as you go and anticipate the inevitable conflict and inevitable “parting of the ways.”
Bribe 7.Reveal your hand only as you must and always be ready to up the ante to blackmail.
Disobey 1.Refuse required activities and then negotiate for gain. 2.Refuse to comply with medical treatments and elicit supportive interaction. 3.Refuse to meet routines of daily living and expect “payment” for personal care.
Disobey 4.Refuse to get out of bed or go to bed... refuse to answer or to be silent... refuse whatever others want or need you to do... then agree to comply for some gain. 5.Refuse to follow any instruction, even refuse to respond, unless others grant you some privilege or promise or fame.
Disobey 6.Threaten hunger strikes, or other such lack of self-care, to force others to meet your childlike demands (But first make sure there’s someone who does or must care). 7.“Just say no” to your own responsibilities and extort some gain from those charged with your care.
Distress 1.Be increasingly disruptive until your demands are met. 2.Be increasingly destructive of property until your demands are met. 3.Be increasingly self-injurious until your demands are met. 4.Be increasingly violent until your demands are met.
Distress 5.Create increasing amounts of work for others until your demands are met. 6.File grievances, threaten lawsuits, write the governor and the mayor, call home and tell Ma Ma... until your demands are met.
Distress 7.Seek increasingly higher levels of authority... until your demands are met.
Obligate 1.Emphasize any basis for relatedness, any similarity or common difference, any grounds for personal identification or bond (race, gender, religion, origins, organizations, age, language, experiences, interests, hobbies, skills & abilities, any common circumstance or condition, any value or belief about life and living... or death and dying).
Obligate 2.Steal property and arrange for its return. 3.Plant drugs and “reveal” an elaborate plot. 4.Buy or make a weapon and turn it in or arrange for it to be found... with a good story to make it well worth while.
Obligate 5.Play “good inmate-bad inmate”... Have a friend (or just pay someone) to start a confrontation, harassment, or pressure of any kind --- then you come to the rescue. 6.Set up or “uncover” a minor breach of policy/procedure, then you “save the day” by keeping someone else from discovering or revealing it... or using it for blackmail.
Obligate 7.Create a situation in which others believe your actions saved life or limb --- just find a “lifer for hire” or someone seeking lock-up.
Blackmail 1.Find someone who doesn’t know the rules well, or perhaps just doesn’t care, get them to bend one and break two... keep the proof till later. 2.Ask for a “small favor” that’s aganinst the rules, giving compelling reasons why it would be a good thing to do --- hastily!!!
Blackmail 3.Subtilely gather knowledge for a profile... dig deepest into the past to discover weakness, indiscretions, sufferings, joys, and pains. 4.Offer a little loan just to help out with debts, (off the record of course)... or perhaps that extra soft drink you just happen to have.
Blackmail 5.Profess love, offer drugs, arrange for sex... whatever one’s price, pay it... always catering and documenting the process. 6.Start with small, low risk requests and favors, to gradually build “risk tolerance” and increasing compromise... saving the higher value barriers for last to break down.
Blackmail 7.Keep up the motivation with bribes to cultivate “good will”... resort to fear tactics only as necessary.
Extortion 1.Use violence as a means of obtaining reinforcement (commission or omission) and destruction as a problem solving device. 2.Shape compliance with a demonstrated willingness to carry out all threats.
Extortion 3.Develop power & control through the systematic use of fear, threatening harm to whatever is valued (family, friends, pets, reputation, property, comfort, control, etc.). 4.Demonstrate utter disregard for consequences and imply that no one will help... make them think and feel alone.
Extortion 5.Assert that the alternatives make compliance the only choice available and that it is something one can live with. 6.Start small on demands and feed fears at every opportunity.
Extortion 7.Balance risk & opportunity management and always up the ante - -- parlay extortion into blackmail, capture the imagination for control, and use terrorism for power.
Part II: Avoidance Motivated Behavior De-, Dis-, & Other Con Cons... (for when you get caught and you know you are at fault) TM
Maladaptive Avoidance Strategies 1.DENY: Claim ignorance or Simply lie about it. 2.DISTRACT: Shift the focus or Just blame someone else. 3.DEFEND: Claim good motives or Redefine the situation. 4.DISSIMULATE: Act-out of yourself & Apologize.
Maladaptive Avoidance Strategies 5.DISRUPT: Get on stage & Create confusion. 6.DISCOMFORT: Create new distress & Competing concerns. 7.DISRESPECT: Devalue the message & Disesteem the messenger. 8.DESTROY: Eliminate the evidence or Exit the situation.
Denial 1.Simply lie about it. 2.Pretend you don’t understand. 3.Don’t tell the whole truth or add just a bit for the telling. 4.Be evasive and make up excuses as you go.
Denial 5.Get literal, get technical, and “split hairs.” 6.Claim you were set-up or were just an innocent by-stander. 7.Simply refuse to respond or just walk away.
Distract 1.Simply change the subject or shift the focus in time --- to yesterday or tomorrow. 2.Assert equal or better opportunity by others (“I wasn’t the only person in the room.”) 3.Ask questions (“Why would I want to do that?”) and suggest motives by others.
Distract 4.Don’t answer the question asked or answer with questions of your own (“Who said I did it?... How do you know it wasn’t someone else?”) and try to plant any “reasonable doubt”... Just be your own lawyer! 5.Point out the faults of others and bring out other problems that should be solved.
Distract 6.Assert your recent religious conversion, or some other profound change of heart, and claim your new found “right not to be judged by others,” insisting it improper to discuss such, much less to be punished.
Distract 7.Play to empathy or guilt... say “I guess that means all of my being good was for nothing... all of my hard work is just down the drain."
Defend 1.Blame someone else for your emotions or claim “poor impulse control” (“I was upset... I just blanked... I lost my temper... He made me mad... They should have taken control... I just got very bad news from home.”)
Defend 2.Blame your peers or society and claim your “right to be bad too,” (“Everybody else does worse or the same... It’s all just a game.”). 3.Become a “victim of choices” --- just claim to have none of your own (“I did what I had to do.”)
Defend 4.Blame your traumas or flashbacks or just blame your sleep or your dreams. (“I’ve been abused... had accidents... suffered violence... had no sleep... have shattered dreams... have bad dreams)... NOW, I’m sure you understand!!!
Defend 5.Be a “victim of low self-esteem” --- Blame your parents and your life (DO NOT mention self-respect, self- restraint, self-discipline, self-control, or self-sacrifice). 6.Blame any greater need or power easily at hand (“I’m an addict... The Devil made me do it.).
Defend 7.“Redefine the situation” & claim very good motives (“I did it for you... for honor... to save life or limb.”).
Dissimulate 1.Agree and apologize, straight up and up front as can be (“I was wrong... You were right... I made a mistake... It won’t happen again.”). 2.Act surprised and exclaim, “What!?” and express utter disbelief. 3.Act hurt and disappointed that anyone would even think such a thing might be true.
Dissimulate 4.Act confused or perplexed and plead ignorance or that you were “out-of- sorts”... (“I don’t remember... I don’t know what got into me... That’s not like me at all!”). 5.Act indignant and assert that you were surely well-framed... wonder out loud who it might really be.
Dissimulate 6.Cry and whine and promise profusely never-ever to do it again. 7.Act respectfully repentant and plead, plead, plead: for “a little help” to get on the right track... “just one more chance” to do the right thing... just a little “forgiveness” so you can cover your great shame... just a little more time to “prove yourself.”
Disrupt 1.Get loud and talk violence. 2.Stand quickly and pace, act explosive as you storm all about. 3.Scream and shout and curse for emphasis and to attract attention... then play to the audience for support and sympathy.
Disrupt 4.Talk fast and loud, demand answers, interrupt and jump to conclusions, go to extremes, accuse others of deviant motives and put words in their mouths (“Oh, so you’re saying ____”). 5.Display displaced aggression: slam doors, tear paper, throw, hit or kick objects.
Disrupt 6.Delay compliance as long as possible and imply you will actively resist any further control (“You better not touch me, man”). 7.Disrupt the environment and disrupt the peace, all for maximum effect.
Discomfort 1.Create other concerns by making vague threats (“You’ll see... This isn’t over... You don’t want to do this... This will be on your hands...”). 2.Imply or threaten you will harm yourself. 3.Imply or threaten you will harm someone else.
Discomfort 4.Imply or threaten your will make much noise, destroy property or otherwise disturb the peace (“Nobody sleeps tonight!”). 5.Imply or threaten you will be noncompliant with any required activities or requests. 6.Assert that you know your rights and threaten to sue.
Discomfort 7.Take control... demand a grievance form and order a call for higher authority (“Get the Sergeant!... Lieutenant!!... Captain!!!... Superintendent!!!!”)
Disrespect 1.Claim illegal, unethical, or unprofessional conduct and accuse those accusing you! 2.Claim discrimination (gender or racial or religious will do just fine). 3.Claim conflict of interest or ulterior motives.
Disrespect 4.Claim harassment, retaliation or persecution, directly or on someone else’s behalf. 5.Claim abuse, neglect, or rights violations. 6.Claim you were “trapped off” by lies and planted evidence.
Disrespect 7.Claim you are being “disrespected” and make up any how that you please.
Destroy 1.Force a transfer: If you are out of jail, go to jail. If you are in jail, go to prison. If you are in prison, go to lock- up. If you are in lock-up, go to mental health. If you are in mental health, request a discharge. 2.Commit rule violations until you are safely locked-up or transferred.
Destroy 3.Threaten or assault a witness or a more helpless peer to force your own demotion in custody and transfer. 4.Threaten or assault staff to force a demotion or transfer. 5.Commit self-injury (SIB) serious enough to force a medical or mental health transfer.
Destroy 6.Create a medical condition serious enough to warrant a medical transfer. 7.“Check-off” (ask for protective custody status)... check-out (threaten or commit suicide)... eliminate those you currently blame for your problems (threaten or commit murder)... or force others to assault/kill you.