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Building Bridges of Understanding Through Constructive Communication Constructive CommunicationBy Helma Rosenthal & Lynda Strohl.

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Presentation on theme: "Building Bridges of Understanding Through Constructive Communication Constructive CommunicationBy Helma Rosenthal & Lynda Strohl."— Presentation transcript:

1 Building Bridges of Understanding Through Constructive Communication Constructive CommunicationBy Helma Rosenthal & Lynda Strohl

2 CONFLICT RESOLUTION “The strong man is the man who can stand up for his rights and not hit back.” Dr. Martin Luther King

3 CONFLICT RESOLUTION Why Conflict Resolution? No Child Left Behind Creating a Safe School Climate Conflict happens everywhere, in all settings

4 Interesting Stats… Interesting Stats… According to Robert Bolton, author of People Skills, “Eighty percent of the people who fail at work do so for one reason: they do not relate well to other people. According to Robert Bolton, author of People Skills, “Eighty percent of the people who fail at work do so for one reason: they do not relate well to other people. 65% of voluntary terminations are the result of unresolved workplace conflict 65% of voluntary terminations are the result of unresolved workplace conflict 42% of a manager’s time is spent addressing conflict in the workplace. (Watson, C. & Hoffman, R., Managers as Negotiators, Leadership Quarterly, 3/17/96.) 42% of a manager’s time is spent addressing conflict in the workplace. (Watson, C. & Hoffman, R., Managers as Negotiators, Leadership Quarterly, 3/17/96.) Job stress is a key driver of health care costs. According to the Journal of Occupational Environmental Medicine, health care expenditures are nearly 50% greater for workers reporting high levels of stress. (Corbitt Clark, Mary, [online], The Cost of Job Stress. Job stress is a key driver of health care costs. According to the Journal of Occupational Environmental Medicine, health care expenditures are nearly 50% greater for workers reporting high levels of stress. (Corbitt Clark, Mary, [online], The Cost of Job Stress. Chronic unresolved conflict acts as a decisive factor in at least 50% of departures. Conflict account for up to 90% of involuntary departures, with the possible exception o f staff reductions due to downsizing and restructuring. (Dana, David, [online], The Dana Measure of Financial Cost of Organizational Conflict, 2001.) Chronic unresolved conflict acts as a decisive factor in at least 50% of departures. Conflict account for up to 90% of involuntary departures, with the possible exception o f staff reductions due to downsizing and restructuring. (Dana, David, [online], The Dana Measure of Financial Cost of Organizational Conflict, 2001.)

5 Conflict Universal experience Universal experience Natural and Normal Natural and Normal Differing Points of View Differing Points of View Destructive or Constructive Destructive or Constructive

6 Sources of Conflict Resources Resources Goals/objectives Goals/objectives Miscommunication Miscommunication Attitudes/values Attitudes/values Personality Personality

7 Conflict Outcomes Positive Involvement Involvement Cohesion Cohesion Creativity Creativity Growth Growth Clarification of issues Clarification of issues Clarification of values Clarification of valuesNegative Unresolved anger/concerns Unresolved anger/concerns Reduced morale Reduced morale Personality clashes Personality clashes Low self-esteem Low self-esteem Unfinished business Unfinished business

8 Win-Win Win-Win Lose-Lose Lose-Lose Win-Lose Win-Lose Lose-Win Lose-Win Win Win No Deal No Deal Stephen Covey Habit 4: Think Win-Win

9 CONFLICT RESOLUTION Conflict Management Styles Survey How do you respond to conflict? What’s your conflict style?

10 CONFLICT RESOLUTION Avoiding Avoiding Competing Competing Accommodating Accommodating Compromising Compromising Collaborating Collaborating Conflict Resolution Styles

11 Avoiding Pros Petty or unimportant Petty or unimportant Cool down Cool down Little leverage Little leverage Disruption > issue Disruption > issue Gather info Gather info Wrong person Wrong person Stay behind the scenes Stay behind the scenesCons Problem remains Problem remains Lose respect Lose respect Unaware of problems and perceptions Unaware of problems and perceptions Anxiety = ineffective Anxiety = ineffective Own needs not met Own needs not met

12 Competing Pros Important and right Important and right Good natured Good natured Cut ties Cut ties Dealing with competitive people Dealing with competitive people Audience perception Audience perception Love competition Love competitionCons Unyielding Unyielding Ignore others Ignore others Alienate others Alienate others Blinders on Blinders on Overconfident Overconfident Pressure! Pressure!

13 Accommodating Pros Good will > Issues Good will > Issues Concern for others Concern for others Back pocket Back pocket Less leverage Less leverage Not your responsibility Not your responsibility Happy co-workers Happy co-workers Volatile parties Volatile partiesCons Taken advantage of Taken advantage of Own needs not met Own needs not met Happy but not productive enough Happy but not productive enough Decide too soon Decide too soon

14 Compromising Pros Last option Last option Outcome most important Outcome most important Small steps Small steps Time is of the essence Time is of the essence Shared ideas Shared ideas Cons Lose sight of big picture Lose sight of big picture Precedents Precedents Misses the point Misses the point

15 Collaborating Pros Long term cooperation Long term cooperation Strong emotion Strong emotion Options Options Interpersonal relationships Interpersonal relationships High impact High impact Time and attention Time and attention No easy answers No easy answers Cons Resources Resources Lengthy process Lengthy process “How” rather than “what” “How” rather than “what” Agreement is hard Agreement is hard

16 Conflict is normal! Conflict should be an expected part of the work culture! Consider your own work environment and ask yourself the following questions! 1) What causes the conflicts? 1) What causes the conflicts? 2) When do the conflicts occur? Are there any patterns? 2) When do the conflicts occur? Are there any patterns? 3) How do all respond when conflict occurs? 3) How do all respond when conflict occurs? 4) Are solutions long term or quick fixes? 4) Are solutions long term or quick fixes? 5) Are procedures in place for addressing day- to-day issues? 5) Are procedures in place for addressing day- to-day issues?

17 WHY WE AVOID CONFLICT ?! Fear of others’ reactions Fear of others’ reactions Maybe it will go away on its own? Maybe it will go away on its own? Why should I make the first move? Why should I make the first move? Don’t want to be seen as a problem Don’t want to be seen as a problem Societal norms and expectations Societal norms and expectations FEAR OF THE PROCESS and OUTCOMES FEAR OF THE PROCESS and OUTCOMES

18 What not to do… ) Do not avoid the conflict, hoping it will go away. ) Do not avoid the conflict, hoping it will go away. 2) Do not meet separately with people in conflict. 2) Do not meet separately with people in conflict. 3) Do not believe the only people who are affected are the participants. 3) Do not believe the only people who are affected are the participants.

19 Cross-Culture Conflict You may notice: Denial or downplaying Denial or downplaying Inaction Inaction Misdirection of blame Misdirection of blame Face-saving tactics Face-saving tactics Long resolution time Long resolution time Sensitivity to feedback Sensitivity to feedback

20 Communication Verbal Verbal Words Nonverbal Nonverbal Wordless Messages Haptic Body Language Posture Facial Expression Eye contact Paralanguage Listening Listening

21 Communication Good Communicators send non-verbal and verbal messages that exactly match their thoughts and feelings Good Communicators send non-verbal and verbal messages that exactly match their thoughts and feelings love I love you!

22 Communication Skills and Techniques Perspective Taking Active Listening I Messages

23 CONFLICT RESOLUTION PERSPECTIVE TAKING Is the ability to understand how a situation appears to another person and how that person is reacting cognitively and emotionally to the situation.

24 Shift your point of view

25 Emotions Anger Frustration Disappointment Fear AnxietyStress*Recognition*Management

26 CONFLICT RESOLUTION ACTIVE LISTENING Is a way of responding to the speaker which implies that the listener is trying to understand what the speaker is saying, feeling, and doing.

27 Active Listening Eye contact Eye contact Pay attention Pay attention Nod Nod Facial expressions Facial expressions Ask questions Encourage the other person to tell more PARAPHRASE Make comment

28 Listening with Empathy What to Do Encourage Encourage Clarify Clarify Restate Restate Reflect Feelings Reflect Feelings Validate Validate

29 CONFLICT RESOLUTION Roadblocks to Communication Ordering, Directing, Commanding Warning, Threatening, Preaching, Moralizing Advising Judging, Criticizing, Blaming, Name Calling, Ridiculing, Shaming, Interpreting, Psychoanalyzing Ridiculing, Shaming, Interpreting, Psychoanalyzing Teaching, Instructing Teaching, Instructing

30 Final thoughts and overview Resolve the conflict Resolve the conflict Be clear about the causes Be clear about the causes Validate differences in perception and point of view Validate differences in perception and point of view Decide on a process and get agreement Decide on a process and get agreement Listen actively Listen actively Document! Document! Document! Document! Document! Document!


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