Presentation on theme: "Blind Date Service Search for a single, sexy seer to stem your solitude! Wiki Document: Blind Prophet Archetype By Ben Kemper, Kyle Warn, and Renaud Boucher-Browning."— Presentation transcript:
Blind Date Service Search for a single, sexy seer to stem your solitude! Wiki Document: Blind Prophet Archetype By Ben Kemper, Kyle Warn, and Renaud Boucher-Browning 25 September 2009
Looking for love in all the wrong places? Then hook yourself up with a single seer!
What, you may ask, are the advantages of dating a blind prophet? Well, for one thing, you'll never lose the car keys again (or anything else). For another, the seer is always a wise guide and a trusty advisor so he/she will always help you make the right decisions if they see that helping you is in their best interest. Most of these dudes and dudettes are channeling the will and advice of the gods in their prophecies and oracles, so it's like having a personal medium, a Home Heaven Hotline... Plus, its a free automatic personalized life insurance policy--only now, you know exactly when to update your final will and testament, plan your funeral, say goodbye to family, etc. (Is Death Assurance a better name?) And finally, looking at our guests' sad crippled bodies, mutilated eyesockets, and twisted psyches will make you feel better about your own foresight-less yet perfectly healthy life, like adopting a lame puppy. What's not to like? Don't hesitate now! Stop your vacilating! Throw forethought and caution to the winds! You don't need it anymore! Just rely on us!
greetings and salutations! Hello to all you single ladies and gents out there! So you want to be hooked up with the hottest soothsayers and seers this side of Dante's Inferno? Well, we've got six lovely bachelors and bachelorettes for you to choose from. Please welcome, if you will, our six hunky heartthrob intellectuals: the prophet Tiresias, the reckless Duke Glouster, and the immortal John Dee. And our lovely ladies with a passion for prediction: Cassandra of Troy! Princess Nerissa of Regalia! and the Wierd Sisters of Scotland!
Tiresias Here is our first bachelor for you tonight! Tiresias spends his days as a freelance prophet for ancient Greeks, accepting libations of black rams' blood in exchange for riddles and cryptic warnings. He may be dead, but that doesn't stop this romantic dynamo from partyin' hard. Blinded by the gods as a young man, Tiresias is one of Achaea's most desired seers and has worked for Oedipus, Odysseus, and Creon to name but a few. Had Odysseus heeded Tiresias' warning to avoid the Sun God's cattle, The Odyssey would be a whole lot less convoluted and verbose. And guess what ladies: whenever being a woman in today's hectic world gets you down, talk to Tiresias. After all, he spent seven years as a woman after losing a bet with Hera. Finally a man who understands... Find Tiresias in Homer's Odyssey and Sophocles' plays Oedipus Rex and Antigone.
Cassandra She's the princess of Troy and prophetess of the ages. Unfortunately, Apollo put a curse on her so no one believes her predictions until it is too late (which happens with most seers' warnings). So she obviously suffers from some self confidence issues and what we think she needs is someone to take her out to some nice restaurants, the theater, and show her a good time. (Also someone to pretend to believe in her--anyone out there a good fake listener?) Cassandra, despite her problems, is one classy Trojan you don't want to pass up. Conversation might be difficult, seeing as you won't buy a thing she says, but when you've got the girl who caught Agamemnon’s eye, there won't be much time for chitchatten anyway. Find this unlucky but ever so sweet lady in Homer's Iliad and other works written in her honor.
Duke (the one on the right) Glouster Glouster's one of the most powerful men in pre-Christian Britain, and one of the wealthiest, too. Some family problems have gotten him down; his illegitimate son Edmund framed his actual son Edgar for trying to kill him, and then when Edgar was out of the way, Edmund had his girlfriend rip out Glouster's eyes. Ouch, poor guy! Not a very nice family there...but most prophets have some kind of disability or social block, so its nothing new. However, now that he's reunited with Edgar and "sees" things more clearly, Glouster is searching for a cultured, well- educated women who thinks bloody eye bandages are the new thing. But be careful! Glouster has (had) a bit of a roaming eye (how else do you think he got an illegitimate son?) so keep a tight leash on this gentleman and you'll be set for life. Read about Glouster's sad and painful past in Shakespeare's King Lear.
Princess Nerissa Yep, this girl is next in line for the throne of Regalia, and she's an expert seer as well. She enjoys counseling her cousins and reading the prophecies of Bartholomew of Sandwich. Poor Nerissa has always been in fragile health and now her beloved brother Henry has gone to the bad side and was killed trying to take over the kingdom. What a bummer. But despite her despairing and sickly disposition, her insomnia and her frequent spells of nerve-wracking foresight, Nerissa is really a sweet and regal lady looking for some nurturing companionship for those dark nights when she dreams of invading armies and dire epidemics. Plus getting on the good side of crafty royalty never hurts. We can see a great future for Nerissa and you. Follow Nerissa's trials and tribulations throughout Suzanne Collins' acclaimed seires Gregor the Overlander
It's that man with the magic: John Dee A most trusted advisor and pet magician to British monarch Elizabeth I, Dee is where it's happen'en. Not only did he predict all of Elizabeth's major accomplishments, and much more, but he could control the weather, speak with angels, even conjure the dead. With Dee, the fun never stops, so step right up before the competition beats you to him! Caveat emptor though. In his later years, Dee bit off a little more than he could chew and sold his soul to dark powers (sound like Faust, anyone?). He picked up unsocial behaviors such as threatening young women with knives, forcing them to serve as mediums to the nether-hells, sucking the souls out of adolescents, etc. But we're sure he just needs a partner with a spine of steel to set him back on the straight and narrow. Join John's plans for world domination in The Stoneheart trilogy by Charlie Fletcher and The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott.
...and finally: The Weird Sisters : This threesome of fun and fearsome ladies hail from the land of lochs, kilts, and haggis. They have been in the business for, well, pretty much forever and now they want to spend some time with a man they can "work their magic on." Their hobbies include dancing around large cauldrons, cooking (400 recipes for eye of newt alone) and screwing with the heads of local royalty. (If you haven't noticed by now, prophets will always take a leaf out of Machiavelli's book, manipulating politics left and right, drowning us normal seeing beings in their self- serving machinations.) Clotho, Decima, and Morta will be happy, even tickled, to stir your cauldron, grant your wildest dreams, and promise to be there in your worst hour. By the pricking in my thumbs something sassy this way comes! You'll have a terrifyingly terrific time with the wacky trio from Shakespears's Scottish Play (you know... McB)
That's all for now folks! Thank you for joining with us on Blind Date this week. We hope we've hooked some of you up out there with this week's guests. Thanks for watching (if you can see normally) and remember: romance is out there for you, we can see it coming!
I foresee Romance in your future! Ta ta for now!
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