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May I Have This Dance? Learning Effective Interactions with Oppositional and Defiant Students © 2015, Center for Learning & Development.

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Presentation on theme: "May I Have This Dance? Learning Effective Interactions with Oppositional and Defiant Students © 2015, Center for Learning & Development."— Presentation transcript:

1 May I Have This Dance? Learning Effective Interactions with Oppositional and Defiant Students © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

2 Presented by Center for Learning & Development 200 W. Highway 6, Suite 503 Waco, Texas

3 The Oppositi onal Student Characteristics Characteristics Causes Causes 3 Different Invitations to Dance 3 Different Invitations to Dance How Can We Make it Worse? How Can We Make it Worse? How Can We Make it Better? How Can We Make it Better? © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

4 Control !Control ! Blaming othersBlaming others NegativityNegativity Irritable moodIrritable mood May or not be ODDMay or not be ODD Characte ristics © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

5 Control © 2015, Center for Learning & Development  Physical – “ You can ’ t make me !”  Cognitive – “ That ’ s stupid !”  Emotional – “ I don ’ t care.”

6 Causati on © 2015, Center for Learning & Development  biology

7 The Thinking Brain Fronta l – plannin g, organiz ing, problem solving, making good choices You need to protect this… © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

8 Agitation & the Brain © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

9 Causation  biology  temperame nt  psycholog ical factors  social factors

10 Wouldn’t you like to finish your work? [ ignores ] Come on, you just have a little to do… I’ll do it when I finish drawing. I’m not going to ask again… You always give me a hard time! If you’re not going to work, you’re not going to stay in my class! [ meltdown ! ] The Dance © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

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12 Invitations to Dance  Physical : “ You can ’ t make me.”  Cognitive : “ That ’ s stupid.”  Emotional : “ I don ’ t care !”

13 How can we make it… worse ? © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

14 How can we make it… bette r? © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

15 First things first

16 Top Management Skills consistency routines relationships © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

17 Relati onship s are Everyt hing ! © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

18 Relation ship - Building Trust & Respect Trust Leave It at the Door! They are Kids Meet & Greet Don’t Take It Personally No Sarcasm or Anger Face- Saving Techniques

19 May I Have This Dance ? © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

20 side-step ignore say “yes” Your Response © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

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23 IGNOR E © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

24 The Great Debate If he escalates, use 2 powerful words: “Nevertheless …” “Regardless …” Then walk away. The ultimate plan : a graceful, “ face - saving ” exit. Walk away Don ’ t defen d yours elf ! Chang e the subje ct

25 SIDE - STEP © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

26 Refuse to Dance STUDENTTEACHER Positiv e or Neutral POSITIV E Negativ e NEUTRAL

27 © 2015, Center for Learning & Development LISTEN to WORDS 2 HEAR Overlook the intonation – for now Offer a calming period SAY Put angry feelings into words Help him verbalize the cause THINK Help him think of alternatives Help him consider consequences

28 ACCEP T © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

29 CHOIC ES Give 2 or 3 choices. State the choices briefly and clearly. Repeat the words like a broken record in a calm, unemotional manner. If possible, engage student in problem - solving. 2

30 © 2015, Center for Learning & Development CONSEQUE NCES If he refuses both choices… Map out the consequences before the “ heat of battle.” Begin by removing reinforcers, but allow him to earn the items back. Always give yourself an “ out.” 3

31 © 2015, Center for Learning & Development WATCH OUT Oppositional kids are very savvy. “ Sneak ” the positive stuff past them. Start Positive : Set up positive reinforcers for compliant behavior.

32 © 2015, Center for Learning & Development When things head south Know your options Move away from the student. Repeat your request in a business - like voice. Repeat your request in a business - like voice. Impose predetermined consequence for noncompliance. If the plan ’ s not working… turn to a team approach.

33 Key thing s to remem ber © 2015, Center for Learning & Development to keep your sanity

34 © 2015, Center for Learning & Development TAKE CARE OF YOU 3 POSIT IVE relat ionsh ip Non - opposi tional side Don ’ t start the dance ! Don ’ t take it perso nally.

35 © 2015, Center for Learning & Development Watch what you SAY Don ’ t ARGUE. Don ’ t talk A LOT. Watch your speech intonation.

36 © 2015, Center for Learning & Development Watch what you DO Watch your body language. Move toward him at slow pace. Respect his personal space. Sit next to him at eye level.

37 © 2015, Center for Learning & Development Watch what you THINK Are you focusing on the plan? Am I annoyed and just reacting? Evaluate : How did it work?

38 The apple doesn ’ t fall far from the tree © 2015, Center for Learning & Development Dealing with Oppositi onal Parents

39 Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

40 Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. ~ Carl Bard © 2015, Center for Learning & Development

41 For more information, contact us


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