Michael can't wait to tell his mom all about his day at school. But how can he, when she keeps stopping him before he gets to the best part?
“In Art my pal Richie got inky. But Mom, that was only the start. 'Cause Richie then made the room stinky by blasting a really big... DON'T SAY THAT WORD!” “Rebecca brought in birthday cookies-oatmeal, fudge, raisin, and sugar. Lee gave the whole class the ookies- he picked [his nose] and topped his with a... DON'T SAY THAT WORD!” When Michael's mother asks him what happened at school, he replies:
“The Stupids Die is an altogether innocent celebration of foolishness: revolving around an electrical blackout that the Stupids naturally mistake for the end of it all, the family stumbles around their house in the dark until Grandfather Stupid stops by for a visit: “Welcome to heaven,” said Mr. Stupid. “This isn’t heaven,” said Grandfather. “This is Cleveland.” “This may sound stupid,” said Buster. “But I think this is our living room.” (http://weloveyouso.com/2009/05/the- stupids-die-and-the-moral-of-swine-lake/)http://weloveyouso.com/2009/05/the- stupids-die-and-the-moral-of-swine-lake/ Beware! It’s on the “Most Banned Books” lists….
There’s Too Many Kids in This Tub! There’s too many kids in this tub. There’s too many elbows to scrub. I just washed a behind, I’m sure wasn’t mine. There’s too many kids in this tub!
“As Alexander Wolf tells his story, he was innocently trying to borrow a cup of sugar from a little pig when he sneezed so hard that the pig's obviously inadequate straw house fell down and killed him, so--rather than let all that good ham go to waste--the wolf ate him. But when the third little pig, safe in his brick house, not only refused to discuss loaning sugar but was rude about the wolf's Granny, the wolf tried to force the door, the pig called the cops, and the wolf was jailed--complaining that reporters blew the story all out of proportion and that he was framed. “ -Kirkus Review (1989) Definitely a funny story but more for middle school age students.
Poor Monkey is trying to read, but a jackass with a laptop keeps interrupting him with puzzled questions about the object he's absorbed in: "What do you have there?" The jackass with a laptop and the monkey with a hardcover book discuss the merits of their preferred formats. “How do you scroll down?” the donkey asks. “Do you blog with it?” “Can you make the characters fight?”