Inside The Protective Ring Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh Matthew 19:5 (Jesus) said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? Ephesians 5:31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
Outside the Protective Ring But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Romans 13:13 5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Col. 3:5 18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 1 Cor. 6:18
Cultural Messages About Sex What are the contemporary cultural messages: about sex? about women? about men?
Impact How do these messages influence sexual behavior in 2014? How have these messages impacted you? - the way you view yourself - the way you view your fiancé - what you expect from dating and marriage sexually
Present Reality Addicted to the use of Cyber Porn (self-report): 50% Christian Men 20% Christian Women Young Adult Men – 68% view cyber porn at least once a week 85% of Men - exposed to cyber porn at least once per month
The Brain on Porn Dopamine Driven Builds Tolerance Novelty Drug Operates on 4 Urge Centers in Brain Cocaine and Heroin on Brain Hi-Jacks Brain Causes Lack of Pleasure for Real Life Experiences
Internet Pornography The Cocaine of Pornography Availability Access Affordability Alone (isolation)
Messages from Porn Sex is transactional (not relational) “I’m entitled to sexual pleasure” Sexual pleasure is the ultimate goal Traditional view of sex is narrow, boring and judgmental
The Problem With Porn Separates Sex from Relationship Self-Medicating Behavior Instant Gratification Promotes Masturbation Fantasy Driven Builds Tolerance for Deviance Objectifies Women Gateway Drug
MYTHS ABOUT PORN Only men struggle with porn All Men Look at It Porn use will stop with marriage Porn use in adolescence is not related to porn use as an adult Fiance’ says “I no longer have a problem” Porn can enhance sex in marriage – spice it up
Related Myths Secrets protect the ones I love Masturbation is harmless Being Sexual with my fiance’ is harmless
Social Media Nothing before has ever made it easier to wander into another relationship Facebook Craig’s list (single’s ads) Texting Sexting Picture exchange Smart phone Avatars
Protective Measures Complete Honesty (Full Disclosure) Accountability Sexual Integrity Group Effective Use of Tools Internet safeguards and monitoring Establish healthy coping “Bounce the Eyes” Stay current (Communicate) Don’t open unknown emails
Protective Measures Use Clayton’s Questions to safeguard your sexual relationship in marriage: 1. Does my behavior promote unity? 2. Does my behavior reflect Christ-like love?
Protective Measures Maintain Healthy Boundaries RRefrain from friendships with the opposite sex DDon’t confide in or complain to members of the opposite sex DDiscontinue relationships with old flames AAvoid being alone with friends or coworker of the opposite sex