Today’s Joke A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defense to get his client off the hook. "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few paltry items. His arm is not himself, so I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed soley by his arm."
Today’s Joke "Well put," the judge replied with a grin. "Using that same logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. Your client can accompany the arm or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled then with his lawyer's help…
Today’s Joke he detatched his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out!
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Because Messiah said it is the greatest Commandment! Mark 12:28-29 28And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him, “ Which is the greatest commandment of all ?” 29And Yeshua answered him, “The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is One Lord:”
2 and that you may tell in the hearing of your son, and of your grandson, how I made a mockery of the Egyptians and how I performed My signs among them, that you may know that I am the L ORD.” NASB
2 I also did this so you could tell your children and your grandchildren how I made sport of the Egyptians. Tell them about the miracles I did among them so that all of you will know that I am the L ORD.” EXB
2 and in order that you may be able to tell your children and grandchildren how I made fools of the Egyptians when I performed the miracles. All of you will know that I am the L ORD.” GNT
2 What stories you can tell your children and grandchildren about the incredible things I am doing in Egypt! Tell them what fools I made of the Egyptians, and how I proved to you that I am Jehovah.” TLB
2 and in order that in the hearing of your son and your grandson you may tell how I made fools of the Egyptians and about my signs that I displayed among them, so that you may know that I am the L ORD.” NET
2 I’ve also done it so you can tell your children and grandchildren about how I made a mockery of the Egyptians and about the signs I displayed among them—and so you will know that I am the L ORD.” NLT
2 and that you may tell in the hearing of your son and of your son’s son how I have made sport of the Egyptians and what signs I have done among them; that you may know that I am the L ORD.” RSV
2 and that you may tell your children and grandchildren how I have made fools of the Egyptians and what signs I have done among them—so that you may know that I am the L ORD.” NRSV
2. and in order that you tell into the ears of your son and your son's son how I made a mockery of the Egyptians, and [that you tell of] My signs that I placed in them, and you will know that I am the Lord.“ From the Chabad Website.
“dealt harshly with the Egyptians.” “He wrought miracles among the Egyptians.”
Num 22:29 And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked H5953 me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.
Jdg 19:25 But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused H5953 her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go.
1Sa 31:4 Then said Saul unto his armourbearer, Draw thy sword, and thrust me through therewith; lest these uncircumcised come and thrust me through, and abuse H5953 me. But his armourbearer would not; for he was sore afraid. Therefore Saul took a sword, and fell upon it.
1Ch 10:4 Then said Saul to his armourbearer, Draw thy sword, and thrust me through therewith; lest these uncircumcised come and abuse H5953 me. But his armourbearer would not; for he was sore afraid. So Saul took a sword, and fell upon it.
1: a corrupt practice or custom 2: improper or excessive use or treatment : misuse
3 obsolete : a deceitful act: deception 4: language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily 5: physical maltreatment
1 Kings 18 26 So they prepared one of the bulls and placed it on the altar. Then they called on the name of Baal from morning until noontime, shouting, “O Baal, answer us!” But there was no reply of any kind. Then they danced, hobbling around the altar they had made.
27 About noontime Elijah began mocking them. “You’ll have to shout louder,” he scoffed, “for surely he is a god! Perhaps he is daydreaming, or is relieving himself. Or maybe he is away on a trip, or is asleep and needs to be wakened!”
Jer 46:19-21 “Daughter living in Egypt, prepare what you need for exile; for Nof will become a ruin, laid waste, without inhabitant.
20 Egypt is a beautiful female calf; but a horsefly from the north has come to attack her. 21 Her mercenaries too, that she had with her, were like well-fed calves in a stable;
but they too have withdrawn in retreat, they all ran away without standing their ground. For their day of disaster has come over them, the time for them to be punished. (Baruch HaShem)
1 Cor 11:17-22 17 But in giving you this next instruction I do not praise you, because when you meet together it does more harm than good! 18 For, in the first place, I hear that when you gather together as a congregation you divide up into cliques; and to a degree I believe it
19 (granted that there must be some divisions among you in order to show who are the ones in the right). 20 Thus, when you gather together, it is not to eat a meal of the Lord;
21 because as you eat your meal, each one goes ahead on his own; so that one stays hungry while another is already drunk!
22 Don’t you have homes to eat and drink in? Or are you trying to show your contempt for God’s Messianic community and embarrass those who are poor? What am I supposed to say to you? Am I supposed to praise you? Well, for this I don’t praise you! (Baruch HaShem)
Mark 8 27 Yeshua and his talmidim went on to the towns of Caesarea Philippi. On the way, he asked his talmidim, “Who are people saying I am?” 28 “Some say you are Yochanan the Immerser,” they told him, “others say Eliyahu, and still others, one of the prophets.”…
29 “But you,” he asked, “who do you say I am?” Kefa answered, “You are the Mashiach.” 30 Then Yeshua warned them not to tell anyone about him.
Acts 25:13 13 After some days, King Agrippa and Bernice arrived at Caesarea to pay their respects to Festus. 14 Since they were staying on there for some time, Festus had the opportunity to acquaint the king with Sha’ul’s situation. “There is a man here,” he said, “who was left behind in custody by Felix.”
Revelation 9:13-14 (NASB) And the sixth angel sounded, and I heard a voice from the four horns of the golden altar which is before God, one saying to the sixth angel who had the TRUMPET, "Release the four Messengers who are bound at the great river Euphrates.“…
15 And they were released. These four angels had been kept ready for this moment, for this day and month and year, to kill a third of mankind.
16 So Joshua took this entire land: the hill country, all the Negev, the whole region of Goshen, the western foothills, the Arabah and the mountains of Israel with their foothills, 17 from Mount Halak, which rises toward Seir, to Baal Gad in the Valley of Lebanon below Mount Hermon. He captured all their kings and put them to death.
Josephus Wars of the Jews Book IV …as if those Romans, although they should take to themselves wings, could never fly over the wall of Jerusalem, who found such great difficulties in taking the villages of Galilee, and had broken their engines of war against their walls…
Mark 8:27 27 And Jesus went forth, and his disciples, into the villages of Caesarea Philippi…
13 Now when Jesus came into a part of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Who do men say that the Son of man is?
16 and Simon Peter answering said, `Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.' 17 And Jesus answering said to him, `Happy art thou, Simon Bar-Jona, because flesh and blood did not reveal [it] to thee, but my Father who is in the heavens.
18 `And I also say to thee, that thou art a rock, and upon this rock I will build my assembly, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it;
"Once I was walking by the way, and there met me a man, and He greeted me; and I returned his greetings. He said to me, Rabbi, from what city art thou?
I said to him, From a great city of sages and scholars, am I. He said to me, Rabbi, should it be thy wish to dwell with us in our place, and I will give thee thousand of thousands of dinars and gold, and goodly stones, and pearls.
I said to him, If thou shouldest give me all the silver, and gold, and goodly stones, and pearls in the world, I would not dwell but in a place of Torah; and thus it is written in the book of Psalms, by the hands of David, king of Israel:'The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver (Psalms 118:72)'." —Pirkei Avot, ch. 6