7July 1995 Child Care Information Exchange Praise breeds resistance and suspicion and acts to weaken the connection between the praiser and the praised.And for many people, it sets up a puzzling dilemma – “If I do this again so I can get praise again, will I be doing it on my own accord or because I’m hooked on having this person’s praise.”Kathleen GreyJuly 1995 Child Care Information Exchange
8NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF PRAISE Makes children more dependent on adults.Takes away children’s power to make choices and decisions.Decrease’s children’s confidence in themselves.Causes some children to expect praise and rewards even when adults see no need for them.Discourages children from trying new things.Causes some children to withhold what adults want which leads to adult-child power struggles.As adults manipulate children with praise and rewards, children learn to manipulate adults.
9INSTEAD OF SAYING…. “GOOD JOB!” Think & ask yourself….“What is it about the job that is Good”
10Alternatives to Praise 1 – 2 – 3 – 4EncouragementStrategies#1Make Comments and Acknowledgements#2Repeat and Restate Children’s Babbles and Words#3Focus on Children’s Strengths and Interests#4Encourage and Acknowledge Children’s Choices in Exploration and Play
11Turning Praise into Encouragement With your group, on page 41 in TB decide whether each scenario is either praise or encouragement.If it is praise, change it to make it encouragement.Discuss as a whole group.Go back to page 35 and identify praise statements and make them encouragement.
12“NO Mine!” Resolving Conflicts with Infants and Toddlers
13Think of Conflict Situations With your group, think of some conflict situations that occur in your classroom or what you have seen.When do conflicts occur?What needs are children expressing?What is the source(s) of the conflict or what do children say and do to let you know where the source of the conflict came from?
14RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN WHEN CONFLICTS OCCUR AND CHILDREN’S NEEDS Right before lunch.When child is teething.When a child sees something interesting another child has.When a child is tiredWhen a child explores other people.When child transitionsChild is hungry, irritable & needs to eat.Child’s gums hurt & need something to chew on to sooth the pain; attention; 1-on-1.Child needs to physically explore the appealing object right now, in the present.Child needs to stop & sleep but at the same time may not want to sleep because of interesting things that capture their attention.Child needs to explore with their senses including their mouths and teeth.Child is unsure of what comes next or doesn’t like changes
15What is so Important About Play? In your groups, discuss why play is important to children’s development?As a whole group, compile a list.
16Why is Play Important?“Play is essential to development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children and youth.”Play is so important to a child’s development that the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights recognizes it as a basic right of every child!“Play allows children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity, and physical, cognitive and emotional strength.”Play is simply – FUN!
17Why is Play Important? (cont.) Child Driven Play allows children to:Practice decision-making skillsMove at their own paceDiscover their own interestsEngage fully in what they want to pursueProblem solve with materialsPractice skills in resolving conflictsChildren are intrinsically motivated to learn through playPlay develops: trust, empathy and social skillsPlay is a central part of neurological growth and developmentPlay gives children opportunities to hear and practice language which will directly influence higher mental functions
19SELF REGULATION AND EXECUTIVE FUNCTION IN RELATION TO PLAY Self regulation study in late 1940’s, psychological researchers asked 3, 5, and 7 year olds to do exercises (e.g., standing perfectly still without moving).3-year-olds couldn’t stand still5-year-olds could stand still about 3 minutes7-year-olds could stand still as long as researchers askedResearchers replicated study in 2001.5-year-olds were acting at the level of 3-year-olds7-year-olds were barely approaching the level of the 5 year olds (Psychologist Elena Bodrova, National Institute for Early Education Research)Poor executive function is associated with high dropout rates, drug use, and crime.Good executive function is a better predictor of success in school than a child’s IQ.(Spiegel, Alex. Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills. And Creative Play Makes for Kids in Control. NPR)
20GENERAL COMPONENTS OF EXECUTIVE FUNCTION: Planningand RecallWorking memory and recall— holding facts in mind; accessing long term memory.Activation, arousal, and effort— getting started; paying attention; finishing work.Controlling emotions— ability to tolerate frustration; thinking before acting or speaking.Internalizing language— using “self talk” to control one’s behavior and direct future actions.Taking an issue apart, analyzing the pieces, reconstituting and organizing it into new ideas— complex problem solving.(Chris A. Zeigler Dendy, M.S. Executive Function…”what is this anyway?”Choice andGroup TimesProblemSolvingChoice TimeProblemSolving
21WHY IS PLAY IMPORTANT?When children spend time in make-believe play, they “develop a critical cognitive skill called executive function.”One central component of executive function is the ability to self regulate.Make believe play is a powerful tool in developing “what’s called private speech: They talk to themselves about what they are going to do and how they are going to do it.”Children’s unstructured play is decreasing with more focus on lessons, leagues, toys that inhibit imaginative play, TV and video games.(Spiegel, Alix. Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills. And Creative Play Makes for Kids in Control. NPR)
22Think of Prevention Strategies Divide into 3 groups:Environmental SupportDaily Schedule & Caregiving Routine SupportCaregiver SupportVerbalPhysicalVisual
23Environmental Support Provide care and play spaces that are distinct and allow room to flow in and out of areas.Open floor play.Middle area for gross motor equipment in the classroom (rocking boat/step, push toys, mats, loft along wall, climber, etc.).Provide a quiet area with calming and soft furnishings.Cut down on fluorescent lighting.Pleasant reminders of home (blanket, pacifier, chew toys, photos of family, mom’s scarf).Materials that appeal to all senses.Assess popular materials and add more .Provide tactile experiences and materials in all areas of the classroom.Read books about feelings; pictures with children expressing feelings.
24Daily Schedules and Caregiving Routine Support Provide a consistent yet flexible routine.Provide for quiet and active experiences throughout the day.For meals, provide hearty foods with a variety of textures, tastes and temperature to chew.Reduce the number of transitions.Do not expect children to sit for long periods of time— decrease waiting by overlapping activities.Offer choices when a task has to be done.Provide visual schedules, sequence charts for tasks, etc.Provide time for each part of the day.
25General Caregiver Support Turn to Prevention Strategies in TB page 43:Keep your expectations for behavior developmentally appropriate.Set clear limits for children’s behavior.Model respectful ways of interacting with others and using materials.
26CAREGIVER SUPPORT: VERBAL 6 STEPS TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION Approach calmly, stopping hurtful actionsAcknowledge feelingsGather informationRestate problemAsk for ideas for solutions and choose one togetherGive follow-up support as needed
27Conflict Response Styles Think back to your own childhood and try to remember how conflicts were solved (either at home or at school).Did adults dictate solutions to conflicts?Were they engaged in the process of solving conflicts?Were conflicts avoided?
366 STEPS TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION Approach calmly, stopping hurtful actionsAcknowledge feelingsGather informationRestate problemAsk for ideas for solutions and choose one togetherGive follow-up support as needed
38Mistakes children make Child says elaphanut.Child puts their shoes on the wrong feet.Child takes a toy away from another child.
39WHAT ARE CHILDREN LEARNING WHEN ADULTS FACILITATE PROBLEM-SOLVING? The ability:to express strong emotions in non- hurting ways.to appreciate one’s own views but also the views of others.to make decisions intelligently and ethically.D. Gartrell & M. King, The Power of Guidance: Teaching Social-Emotional Skills in Early Childhood Classrooms, NAEYC, 2004.
40WHAT ARE CHILDREN LEARNING WHEN ADULTS FACILITATE PROBLEM-SOLVING? They are also learning the ability to:listen to others.discuss the details of problems (space, number, time, etc).recognize that when there is a problem, there are lots of possibilities for solutions.deliberate, negotiate, and collaborate with others.stay calm when confronted with a conflict or a problemB. Evans,
42Step 1 Step 2 Approach calmly, stopping any hurtful actions. Breathe! Acknowledge children’s feelings.“You look really upset.”It helps to hold the object in question.
43Feelings are Acknowledged ThoughtsFeelings are AcknowledgedCONFLICTFeelingsThoughtsThoughtsFeelings“Bailing” of Feelings
44Instead of trying to stop the emotion... With the best of intentions, we try to comfort by saying, “It’s OK.” But to the child, it’s not OK. When we try to comfort in this way, the result is often escalation of the feelings, for both the child and the adult, because we have negated the feelings.Text: Betsy EvansIllustrations: Heather Fulton
45…really listen and name the feeling clearly. Adults find it difficult to see children upset. They worry that listening to and naming strong feelings will escalate the problem. On the contrary, when a child senses that the adult really understands what he or she is experiencing, the child is deeply reassured, the A-C relationship is strengthened, and the child learns that feelings are a normal part of life.Text: Betsy EvansIllustrations: Heather Fulton
46JANE HEALY, YOUR CHILD’S GROWING MIND, 1994. “The emotional brain…[is] an integral part of the circuitry that activates and directs messages to the cortex, and the crux of the attention system.It can either facilitate learning or, quite literally, shut down the thinking systems…”
48STEPS 3-6 Gather Information. Restate the problem. Ask for ideas for solutions and choose one together.Be prepared to give follow-up support.
49SAY WHAT YOU DO WANT Negative limit setting Positive limit setting “No throwing the toys!”“No running the classroom.”Positive limit setting“Toys need to stay in your hands.”“ Walking in the classroom keeps everyone safe.”
50SAY WHAT YOU DO WANT Negative limit setting “Stop whining. You’re driving me crazy!”“You are making a mess.”Positive limit setting“I understand you better when you speak clearly or stop crying.”“ The paint needs to stay on the paper.”
51SAY WHAT YOU DO WANT Negative limit setting “Don’t put that in your mouth.”“Don’t throw your food.”Positive limit setting“Markers are for paper.”“ Food stays on the plate/table. Are you finished?”
52De-escalating Conflicts Turn to De-escalating conflicts:Use “I” statementsUse gentle body languageAre specificFocus on present and futureFocus on problemFocus on children’s needs and interestsListen carefully to both sides of the issue or read cues from both children
53PRACTICE THE 6 STEPS Children— Don’t be all the badchildren rolled into one.The purpose of this activityis to give people a chanceto use the steps.In groups of 4, choose a caregiver, two children, and a coach.Using the materials provided, role play practicing the steps.Coaches stop the role play and give feedback if needed.Then switch roles until everyone has had a turn for each role.
54FULL GROUP DISCUSSION What steps were often left out or minimized? What presented the most difficulty?What came easy in this process?What were some things you wanted to do in place of the 6 steps?Other comments, discussion, questions…
55Caregiver Support: Physical Stay close to the child.Provide calming touch if not aversive to the child.Hold child on lap or put arms around child.Holding, hugging, stroking—modeling gentleness.Hold child’s hand.Learn about the child’s physical needs and use strategies appropriate to THAT child.
56Body Language Positive demeanor. Calm presence. Confident approach. Non-threatening posture.Child’s physical level – eye contact (if not aversive to the child).Facial expressions – authentic yet communicates caring.Attentive listening.Read facial expressions and body gestures of the child to anticipate what may happen.
57Caregiver Support: Visual Pictures or photos of emotionsPicture sequence chartsPhotos albums of familySmall personal photo albums with choicesSign language for various directionsBoardmaker computer program optionsProvide mirrors to help the child see expressions, actions, etc.Be in full view of and close proximity to the child when communicating
58Visual Support: Example #1 1. Move closer = picture of child by material that other child(ren) has.2. Look = eyes3. Ask: “Can I use _____?” = picture of child asking
59Visual Support: Example #2 Sung to the tune of:“Are you Sleeping”First your snow pants,then your boots,then you put your coat on, then you put your coat on,hat and mittens,hat and mittens.
621. Turn on water. 2. Wet hands. 3. Get soap. 4. Rinse hands. Picture Sequence Charts1. Turn on water.2. Wet hands.3. Get soap.4. Rinse hands.
635. Turn off water.6. Dry hands.7. Throw away towel.8. Go play.
64Putting All The Interaction Strategies Together Turn to pageWith your group, read through the scenarios and decide what strategy you would use.Role play it out.Discuss as a whole group.
65Looking At Your Own Adult-Child Interactions Take turns in your group describing a situation with an infant or toddler in which you have been uncomfortable, annoyed, directive, inattentive, or not as supportive as you might have been.Brainstorm supportive interaction strategies you might use the next time the situation occurs or a similar situation arises. Record on chart paper.Discuss as a whole group
66Any parting thoughts about Day Review:Turn to page 47 in PG.Reflect on today’s topic (adult-child interactions).What do you want to remember and begin implementing with your children?Review assignments.Any parting thoughts aboutour day’s topics?