Presentation on theme: "Improving descriptive writing There was a noise of a train. I see a ray of light slanting in through the glass. There was a noise of a rat in the corner."— Presentation transcript:
Improving descriptive writing There was a noise of a train. I see a ray of light slanting in through the glass. There was a noise of a rat in the corner. I could smell smoke. It slowly fills the room. 2. Improve: There is a child walking towards me. I can see a light glimmering in the distance. I can see a bird flying past. There is a low table in the corner. I can hear a fridge humming.
Simple sentences A main clause It has to have a subject A verb One main ‘thought’ eg a)The cat sat down. b)He went to the car. c)It rained.
Compound sentences Two main clauses linked together a)It rained. The cars drove slowly. because inspite of and but even though although despite so
Compound sentences Two main clauses linked together a)It rained so the cars drove slowly. b)It rained and the cars drove slowly. c)It rained but the cars drove slowly. d)Because it rained, the cars drove slowly. because inspite of and but even though although despite so
Compound sentences Two main clauses linked together a)It rained so the cars drove slowly. b)The tree waved its branches. The wind blew strongly. c)We ran onto the ship. The walkway was slippery. d)He read his book. It was gripping. because inspite of and but even though although despite so
Complex sentences Simple sentence (main clause) eg the cat sat down Subordinate clause eg crying softly a)The cat sat down, crying softly. b)Crying softly, the cat sat down. c)The cat, crying softly, sat down. 1.The wind rose 2.He limped on 3.He got up and stretched a)battering against the window b)feeling tired c)feeling a bit of a twit
Complex sentences - using frontal clauses a)The cloud hung low. It hugged the slopes. b)The cloud hung low, hugging the slopes c)Hugging the slopes, the cloud hung low d)The cloud, hugging the slopes, hung low 1.The boy turned round (he felt sad) = Feeling sad, the boy... 2.The birds sang (the sun was shining) = The sun shining, the birds... 3.The girl looked up (she was crossing the road) = Crossing... 4.I punched him (I looked straight into his eyes) 5.The dog howled (it was limping) 6.He left the room (he had cleared his desk) = Having... 7.She left the bank (she had taken all her money out)
Using semi-colons = INSTANT MARKS! A semi-colon links two related, separate main clauses (or sentences) eg a)The window slammed shut. We all turned round. b)The window slammed shut; we all turned round. c)NOT The window slamming shut; we turned around (because first clause is not a main clause – it needs a comma) Which of the following could use a semi-colon? (You could use a hyphen...) 1.The cat wailed. The dog looked nervous. 2.The clouds gathered. It began to rain. 3.He entered the room. They looked up. 4.She picked up bag. The bell went and she left. 5.Having thought it through carefully, she got on the train. 6.The head teacher started to cry. The year 11 student smiled. 7.It was 8.30. She was late.
Comment on the differences a)There are trees all around me. I can see a farm in the distance. I walk slowly down the lane and move quickly past the barn. I hear an owl screech. I turn around. No one is there. b)There are dark trees which cast shadows over the gravel in front of me. I stagger slowly down the lane, at first hesitantly, but then I scuttle past the crumbling barn. The distant shriek of an owl cuts the air like a knife, and I spin round. I shiver, but no one is there. c)Tall, dark trees crowd in on me. Through a long tunnel, the white farmhouse winks at me. Safety. Scuttling past the old barn, my feet crunch on loose gravel. A shriek tears the air. I spin around and shiver, but no one is there.
Plenary Identify three useful learning points from this lesson, explaining why