Presentation on theme: " She had only moved there a few months ago and for some reason, unknown, unexamined, she was happy. Her happiness came from a place deep inside, contentment,"— Presentation transcript:
She had only moved there a few months ago and for some reason, unknown, unexamined, she was happy. Her happiness came from a place deep inside, contentment, knowing she was finally able to move on. Her new community had been so welcoming, so willing to accept her, even though they were privy to what she was and where she had previously been. The comfort she felt from acceptance was, without doubt, the best thing that had ever happened to her. She was home …
If only the Madame had been so happy. If only she had let her be and let her get on with her life, accepting her decision to leave for good. But the Madame was a hard selfish cruel woman who was only out for her own gain and didn’t care how her actions affected those around her. And that was why, now, she herself was in this position. She had tried to escape the Madame’s world, which hadn’t sat too well with her.
She hadn’t expected this place to hold so much love for her, it was a small town, in the middle of nowhere, but it seemed the community spirit was high, most likely because of its secluded situation. It was like a mother: nurturing, loving, forgiving her for past indiscretions, knowing what she had done, and yet still loving her. The community felt a need to give her a chance, the opportunity for redemption if you like. Prejudice didn’t seem to be something these people were capable of. She had never thanked them for their compassion, their empathy, and now she would never get her chance.
She tripped, the wet, uneven cement betraying her to her pursuer. His footsteps quickened, she heard them closer, echoing above all other sounds of the busy city. She knew he was laughing on the inside, knew that he too had adrenaline coursing through his veins. The type of adrenaline that comes before you obtain something you truly want before an unattainable goal is finally reached.
Whimpers, quiet and mournful, filled the dead air between them. It was only after he had pushed her to the ground, that she realised it was she making the pathetic sounds. Tears, hot and uninhibited, flowed from her eyes. She ripped at her pursuer’s clothing, kicked wildly with her bloodied legs, tried to push him off with all her strength, but his grip was unbreakable, his breath, noted with alcohol, was hot on her face as he moved closer to her. One more desperate attempt sent her attacker backward; a miniscule victory, for her kick had only inflamed his desire. He screamed an almost inhuman, primal sound and smothered her to the ground.
She had nothing left; her energy was gone, she could no longer struggle, she would not give him the satisfaction of struggling; she wouldn’t allow him the pleasure of hearing her whimpering with fear. Even as he ripped her clothes and roughly grabbed at her hair, pulling it from her scalp, even as he slapped her over and over in the face, she wouldn’t allow another whimper to escape her lips.
When it was over, when her attacker had ripped her body to shreds, punched and beaten the living hell out of her, and she was certain that he had disappeared, she finally allowed herself to cry once more.
RAPIST FREE.RAPE SUSPECT CONVICTED. Man suspected of rape has been convicted, will serve fifteen years without parole. RAPE VICTIM PREGNANT. A twenty-eight year old rape victim is pregnant. Paternity unclear at this time. Convicted rapist, Julian McBride has been released on bail after serving fourteen years of his fifteen year sentence.
Did you get the dates wrong?Is there any way you could have misheard? Something STOP IT ADAM! you can’t expect her to be thinking about that nowJust stop it not with Can’t expect We’ll be alright Nichelle it’s all going to be ok IF YOU SAY IT’S ALL GOING TO BE OK I AM GOING TO HIT YOU CHERYL I swear to fucking god I will She doesn’t know What about Caitlyn We have to tell her She will find out What then? NO
What was that? What? That noise It sounded like You don’t think no
You were downstairs a minute ago weren’t you? yes What did you hear? arguingMum swearing Caitlyn Have I done something wrong? NO of course you haven’t done anything wrong Then what’s wrong?Why is everyone acting so weird? I Because of me What d’you mean mum?What d’you mean because of you? I needtell you somethingTo
I don’t remember much of what happened after that. I only remember feeling as though I shouldn’t exist, like I was not worthy of life; I had come into this world in such a disgusting manner that I couldn’t live, I shouldn’t have been allowed to keep on living. It was my fifteen-year-old way of dealing with the situation. Of justifying my existence.
I do remember that for weeks, even months, afterward I couldn’t talk to my parents. My anger at them for keeping this from me, and my anger with myself for not leaving it alone, forced a rift between myself and the rest of my family. Every day I was there was like an insult to life, a constant reminder of the pain my family had gone through, the pain they still went through. I couldn’t burden my family with the pain I knew I was the cause of. I didn’t want to put them through more, even if I felt like they weren’t my real family, I didn’t have a real family, I didn’t want to cause them more pain.
There had been only one option for me, or so I had thought. Suicide. If I ended my own existence then the pain would be gone. I wouldn’t be a burden and my parents could move on. I thought about it for so long, but in the end even with the fear and the anger and the feeling of helplessness, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had had the rat poison in my hand, lingering above my mouth, about to let the liquid drop into my mouth, but instead I had thrown the poison away with a scream and lay on the floor in a heap, shaking and clawing at my own skin. But suicide …
So instead I left; of course, I didn’t think that running away would cause them more pain any way; I just thought that leaving was my only hope, their only hope, to have some sense of normalcy. If I just left everything would be ok.
So there you go, my story. I am Caitlyn Marche, a child born from one of the filthiest, most heinous acts a human being can inflict on another. And I’m still trying to figure out who I am; I’m still having doubts whether I should be allowed to live my life. But I have to take it a day at a time. I think of my mother, the torment she went through, the anguish she must feel, having kept it a secret for so long … and I think to myself that if she can continue, if she can survive … it gives me hope that I can do the same...
ENG0010080 ELECTRONIC WRITINGASSIGNMENT THREESEMESTER ONE 2007ELIZA DORLOFFTHE IMPORTANCE OF... ‘You give love a bad name’ Performed by Bon Jovi ‘Crossroad’ Album ‘ Numb ’ Performed by Linkin Park ‘Meteora’ Album ‘One day I’ll fly away’ Performed by Nicole Kidman ‘Moulin Rouge’ soundtrack ‘My Immortal’ Performed by Evanescence single
All characters, names, and circumstances depicted in this motion text are fictional. Any similarity to any persons, living or dead, is coincidental. Thanks Emily