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Why is body language so important? Body language speaks louder than words. When we communicate: 7 % of the message comes from the words we use 38 % comes from the tone we use 55 % comes from our body language Body language helps form the first impression that people have of us. Body language does not lie; it reveals the real us.
Ingredients of a Good Handshake Make eye contact and smile. Hold the person's hand firmly. Shake web-to-web, three times maximum. Maintain constant eye contact. Radiate positive aura.
Meanings behind handshakes Controller A person extends his hand to you, web-to-web, and as soon as your hands are linked, he purposely maneuvers his hand onto the top. He's telling you he wants to be in charge.
Meanings behind handshakes— continued Sandwich Use this one only with people you know. When you envelop another person's hands, you are invading their private space... where you are to be only when invited. This handshake is also known as the politician's handshake... which may be cause enough for most people to avoid it!
Meanings behind handshakes— continued Dead Fish Imagine rubbing a scaly, dead fish in your hands... and you got the picture. Your hands typically are wet for two reasons: You are nervous or you have been holding a cold beverage in your right hand and move it to your left just before you shake hands. In either case, it is extremely unpleasant for the receiver. If you experience anxiety, wipe your hands on a napkin, the tablecloth or even lightly on your clothes. As for the beverage, use common sense.
Meanings behind handshakes— continued Limp Fingers Women, far more than men, extend their fingers rather than their entire hand. It can be painful for the extender, when she is greeted by a man who shakes with his forceful grip. One of the ways to combat this syndrome is to always extend you full hand (never cup it) horizontally, even if your grip is light.
Handshake Blunders Controller Sandwich Dead fish Limp fingers = Shaking the tips of the finger may be perceived as a lack of self confidence. Energetic arm pump - Can sometimes be perceived as insincere. Extending your arm with your palm facing down - This may be be seen as disrespectful.
Cultural variations in handshakes In the U.S., the handshake is most often “effusive”. There are several pumps of the arm, and a strong grip delivers an unspoken message of confidence. In France, one pump is considered sufficient, and the pressure is generally lighter. A light, lingering handshake is generally more favored in Latin America, and to withdraw the hand too quickly could be interpreted as an insult. In Japan, a formal bow usually precedes the handshake. In India, men automatically shake hands, but businesswomen make the decision whether or not to extend their hands along with a vocal greeting.
Handshake video (meeting Pepsi race car driver, Jeff Gordon)
Which posture shows more confidence? Standing with: Stomach in Chest out Shoulders back Head up Stomach protruding Shoulders drooping Head forward Slouching
“When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson Make it and keep it! Not only does focused eye contact display confidence on your part, it also helps you understand what the other person is really saying verbally. Good eye contact also shows you are paying attention to others. It plays a large part in conveying our interest in others.
Eye Contact — When to Look Begin as soon as you engage someone in a conversation. However, you may wish to start even earlier if you are trying to get someone's attention. Continue it throughout the conversation. Be sure to maintain direct eye contact as you are saying "good-bye." It will help leave a positive, powerful lasting impression.
Eye Contact — Where to Look An imaginary triangle Imagine an inverted triangle in your face with the base of it just above your eyes. The other two sides descend from it and come to a point between your nose and your lips. That's the suggested area to "look at" during business conversations. Socially, the point of the triangle drops to include the chin and neck areas. When people look you "up and down," it's probably more than business or a casual social situation they have in mind!
Eye Contact — How long to Look About percent of the time. Less than that can be interpreted as discomfort, evasiveness, lack of confidence or boredom. When you stare longer, it can be construed as being too direct, dominant or forceful and make the other person uncomfortable. It's okay to glance down occasionally as long as your gaze returns quickly to the other person. Avoid looking over the other person's shoulders as if you were seeking out someone more interesting to talk with.
Smiles show interest, excitement, empathy, concern; they create an upbeat, positive environment. Don’t overuse your smile. To gain and increase respect, first establish your presence in a room, then smile. It is far more professional than to enter a room giggling or "all smiles."
Good body language overview Move smoothly When introduced to someone, be aware of his space Stand straight without slouching Stand with your feet 4 to 8 inches apart facing the person with whom you are speaking. Keep your arms at your side; do not put your hands in your pockets, behind your back, on your hips or cross your arms. Keep your chin parallel to the ground, do not lower your head or look at the ground Nod your head in acknowledgment of what is said Gesture with hands open Sit up straight Do not plop down into the chair
Decoding Body Language— based on the culture in the USA Eye flash: GREETING Head tilt: EMPATHY Arms crossed: DEFENSIVE,CAUTIOUS, UNINTERESTED Arms behind back: THOUGHTFUL, RELAXED Arms akimbo: YOU THINK YOU STAND APART FROM THE REST Body leaning forward: INTEREST
Decoding Body Language— based on the culture in the USA One hand clasping the lower arm: INSECURE Legs/Ankles wrapped: INSECURE [note: the feet are the most honest part of body] Legs crossed, ankle on knee, hands clamped on horizontal leg: STUBBORN, IMMOVABLE Hands clasped behind neck: SUPERIORITY Hand clamped swiftly on to back of neck: ANGRY
Decoding Body Language— based on the culture in the USA Rubbing chin: THINKING, UNDECIDED Rubbing back of neck: UNSURE, DISBELIEF, DISINTEREST IN CONVERSATION Rubbing cheek: CONFUSED, NOT UNDERSTANDING Head scratch: PUZZLED One-sided smile: SARCASTIC
Decoding Body Language— based on the culture in the USA Touching/Rubbing nose: DISHONESTY—GIVING YOU ONLY PART OF THE STORY, A "WHITE" LIE OR OUT- RIGHT LIE; DOUBTFUL—THINKS YOU'RE LYING Rubbing eye: I DON'T SEE IT THAT WAY Unblinking gaze: THREATENING One eyebrow raised: SKEPTICAL Eyes closed while talking: VERY SURE, NOT WANTING ANY OBJECTIONS
Decoding Body Language— based on the culture in the USA Touching/Covering mouth: SOMETHING TO HIDE One finger ear/neck scratch: UNSURE Face leaning on hand: BOREDOM OR TIREDNESS Rubbing forehead: HEADACHE, SORELY IMPATIENT Jutting chin out: DOMINANT POSTURING & THREATENING Lifting chin very high: DOMINANT POSTURING
Decoding Body Language— based on the culture in the USA Adjusting man's shirt cuff or woman’s purse: NERVOUS ANTICIPATION Rubbing hands together: EAGER ANTICIPATION Tapping fingers, pen, foot: IMPATIENT, AGITATED,BORED, CALCULATING Seated, hands on knees: IMPATIENT OR READY TO LEAVE Slapping side of thigh repeatedly: ANXIOUS TO LEAVE
Decoding Body Language— based on the culture in the USA Resting palm on chin: CRITICAL, CYNICAL AND NEGATIVITY Rubbing around ears when giving a verbal response: ‘I DON’T KNOW’ Staring blankly at the floor: DISINTERESTED IN THE CONVERSATION
Decoding Body Language— based on the culture in the USA Rapidly nodding head: IMPATIENCE, EAGERNESS TO ADD SOMETHING TO THE CONVERSATION Slowly nodding: POSITIVE INTEREST, COMPREHENSION Rubbing collar: NERVOUSNESS Biting fingernails: NERVOUSNESS