Characteristics of Groups Rules and Norms Roles Patterns of Interaction Decision-Making Methods
True or False? It is possible to listen without hearing. It is possible to hear without listening.
True or False? In the parable about Rosemary, the character Lee used emotive language when he said that Rosemary would have to spend the night with him.
Big Ideas – Chapter 4 Listening requires effort Faulty listening styles Reasons for poor listening Listening skills and listening strategies
Communication Climates in Interpersonal Relationships The emotional tone of a relationship. A communication climate is determined by the degree to which people see themselves as valued.
Conflict & Mediation The role of dialogue and conflict styles
10 reasons for poor listening Effort – its hard to stay focused Message overload – too much at once Rapid thought – 600 wpm vs 140 wpm Psychological noise – personal concerns Physical noise – distractions (fatigue) Hearing problems – frustration Faulty Assumptions - “heard it all before” Talking has more advantages = > who interrupts more? Cultural Differences Media influences – MTV, sound bytes, radio, TV
LISTENING What do good listeners look like? Verbally Nonverbally Listening is not a natural process. Listening requires effort (active not passive) All listeners do not receive the same message. We hear uniquely different messages Physiological factors, social roles, cultural background, personal interests, and needs.
Listening Stages Attending – paying attention. Mindfulness. Understanding/Interpreting Assigning meaning to messages PRINCIPLE: The greater the similarity between individuals, the greater the likelihood for more accurate understanding. PRINCIPLE: People understand best if they can relate what they are hearing to something they already know.
Listening Stages … continued PRINCIPLE: You understand best that which you also experience. Responding: Giving observable feedback to speaker Clarifying a message Care about what the speaker says Confirming understanding of a message Nonverbal responses Feedback – verbal responses Remembering
FAULTY LISTENING Yes you can go to the concert, but I want you to call me when you get there, and I want you to take out the trash before you go, and you need to be home before 11:00 p.m. I don’t think you understand what I’m saying. I heard you. I heard you say that you want me home by 11:00 p.m. I heard what you said. Here we go again with the trash! Uh huh. I heard exactly what you said.
Four Personal Listening Styles CONTENT ORIENTED: Focus on issues and arguments PEOPLE ORIENTED: Focus on feelings and emotions ACTION ORIENTED: Impatient and often finish speakers’ thoughts – tend to second guess TIME ORIENTED: Prefer bulleted talking points quickly and briefly.
The Players ROSEMARY HERNANDO SVEN LEE SEICCHI 21 year old woman Fiancé Boat Owner Acquaintance Someone who listens to Rosemary’s story
ROSEMARY, is a young woman about 21 years old. For a long time she has been engaged to a young man named HERNANDO and she is coming from a great distance to meet him for their scheduled wedding. The problem she faces is that between her and her betrothed there lies a river. No ordinary river, mind you, but a deep wide river infested with huge crocodiles.
TEAM ASSIGNMENT Discuss the characters whose behavior you MOST APPROVE and LEAST APPROVE. Use active listening skills to reframe what your team mates said. Ask questions to clarify. Come up with a group consensus of the rank order choices.