Secret Social Spy Academy Parent Workshop 2013 Afternoon Session 2, Week 2
Lessons/Concepts of the Week Transition Group: (Ms. Coppla) Continue Big/Medium/Small Problems, Smart/Wacky Guesses, & Zones of Regulation, Reading someone’s Plan Thought Bubbles Jr. Crime time- Learning to solve problems Friendship unit Continuing to discriminate between friend and non friend (DNEIRF) Role playing expected/unexpected friendship behaviors Friendship Jeopardy Lies Adolecent Group: (Ms. Erhart/Pacha) Continue Zones of Regulation & Crime Time Thought bubbles Lies Friendship Unit Continue to discriminate between f Friend and DNEIRF Continue Friendship PEER-A-MID Continue Friendship files Goin’ Fishing, Keeping them “Hooked”, Magnet communication
WHITE LIES A lie that is told to avoid hurting someone else’s feelings. It is a partial lie and it does not hurt people. This type of lie usually does not have consequences. GRAY LIES A lie that is told to be funny or sarcastic. This type of lie does not hurt people. This type of lie has moderate consequences. Black Lies A lie that is told to hurt people (blatant lie). This type of lie has severe consequences.
What type of Lie? WHITE LIES Black Lies I think your hair looks cool !
What type of Lie? WHITE LIES Black Lies I didn’t take your toy.
What type of Lie? “Uh…yeah mom, this looks yummy” WHITE LIES Black Lies
When you might use a white lie? Your friend Tom asks you if you like his new shirt. You think it is pretty ugly. ?
When would you might use a white lie? Your Uncle Joe is singing a song and his voice sounds terrible. He asks you what You think. ?
When you might use a white lie? Your friend gets a new hairstyle and asks you what you think. ?
What do you say? What do you think about my Hair? Looks terrible, Get a haircut. I love the color! It is totally uneven!
What do you say? Aunt Beth, It is totally burnt! No way am I eating that Aunt Beth. Looks great, thanks Aunt Beth. “Doesn’t this look Delicious?
What do you say? You did that on purpose!!!! You JERK! That’s ok. “OOPS!!! Sorry Kathy, I wasn’t looking where I was going”
GRAY LIES TYPE 1: IDIOMS Idioms are words, phrases, or expressions that cannot be taken literally. In other words, when used in everyday language, they have a meaning other than the basic one you would find in the dictionary.
GRAY LIES TYPE 1: IDIOMS Example: “Break a Leg” Good luck ?
GRAY LIES TYPE 2: SLANG (sometimes referred to as a type of idiom) (1)An informal use of vocabulary (1)A kind of language occurring in casual and playful speech, deliberately used in place of standard terms for added humor.
GRAY LIES TYPE 2: Slang Example: “Chill out” Relax, take it easy ? ?
Having a conversation with someone is like goin’ fishin’. We want to think about the person. We need to be able to “bait” the person by using our words. You have to find the right location, have the right bait and line, patience, and be aware of how the fish is responding.
Choosing Your Words Carefully! It’s not that you can never talk about certain topics. It’s that you have to talk about them carefully. You have to monitor your comments while other people think about what you might be saying. This means you have to self-monitor your behavior and watch what you say. What you say can be a: – Bait and Brag – Bait and Comment – Bait and Support – Bait and Lie – Bait and Getting Flung Overboard
Bait and Brag This is NOT highly recommended as a strategy to encourage success. This is where you introduce a topic and then tell people how wonderful you are. Example: – I go so many new clothes this weekend and they were all from really nice, expensive stores.
Bait and Comment This strategy helps you to introduce a topic to others. This is where you introduce the topic, but then you just talk about it. You provide information that does not make you look fabulous. Example: – I went shopping this weekend at the mall.
Bait and Support This strategy is usually pretty successful. This is where you introduce the topic, but then you want to find out about how other people think. Example: – I went shopping this weekend at the Stanford Mall. Do you like to go there?
Bait and Lie Not recommended!! When you introduce a topic and then lie about what happened or didn’t happen to make yourself look better to that person. Example: – I went to the library over the summer and read every fiction book in the whole place.
Bait and Getting Flung Overboard When you introduce a topic and give too much information at one time. Example: – “I went to the mall and I went into Old Navy and got some jeans, then I went to the food court and got a slice of pizza. The pizza had pepperoni and tomato sauce and sausage. It was really hot…”
I got an A+ on my test! I am so excited! I didn’t even study for it. What did you get? B B Bait and Brag Bait and Comment Bait and Support Bait and Lie Bait and Get Flung Overboard
Keepin’ em Hooked Pick a topic you think the other person would be interested in or a topic you know both of you like to talk about. Don’t bore the person by doing an “all me all the time” conversation (like talking for too long or only talking about what you want to talk about). Make 2 or 3 comments and ask the other person about whatever you’re talking about. Every time you ask the person a question, you “hook” him and bring him back to the conversation. Watch the person’s face and expression to see if he is still interested. If he is not, hook him in again with a new topic.
Keepin ‘em Hooked (Think of a topic you think your partner is interested in and write it it in the first box. Then place a “hook” picture in the second box for each hook you make.) TopicHook
We are like magnets We can do and say things with our body, eyes, and words, that make people want to be around us (to attract them) We can do and say things with our body, eyes, and words, that push people away (repel them) You have the power to be like a magnet and bring people close to you!
Magnet Communication RULES ATTRACT people in a conversation Say things that show that you know what your peers like or are interested in Look at your peers when you are in a conversation with them Keep your brain thinking about them Point your body towards them REPEL people in a conversation Being critical or negative Not agreeing Arguing Interrupting Being TOO sarcastic Mean tone and attitude Saying “nothing” as a response Rolling your eyes Ignoring people Being too serious all the time Poking people Timing of humor Repeating what everyone says Talking about only what YOU want to talk about.
Friend File Report Read the fact and determine who the friend fact belongs to. Some might have more than one choice if people have something in common.