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The Soft Side of Software Engineering—Part II The Enneagram Todd Little – A Five.

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2 The Soft Side of Software Engineering—Part II The Enneagram Todd Little – A Five

3 Video How many people know about the Enneagram? How many people think they know their type?

4 Overview and History Ennea (nine) gram (written). A geometric figure that maps out nine fundamental personality types of human nature and their complex interrelationships. A development of modern psychology that has roots in spiritual wisdom from many different ancient traditions. Each type formulates early in childhood (or before). The innocent child is put forth into a world and discovers that something is not right, a lost essential quality. This lost essential quality is replaced by a compensating belief. This belief is a self-protection strategy that has served well but is likely to have outlived its usefulness. Work with the Enneagram begins when you identify your type and begin to understand its dominant issues; a process of self- observation, self-understanding and self-discovery. Provides a path to growth, as well as “watch-outs” for “disintegration.”

5 Why the Enneagram? Relationship to MBTI/Jungian Type –Preference vs. Defense mechanism Self-Understanding and the path of Transcendence Understanding others –Valuing diversity –How to work effectively with other types –Dealing with “hot-buttons”

6 Theory, FAQ How does one become a type? –Lost Essential Quality –Compensating Belief –Coping Strategy Do you ever change type? –No, although the impact of the compulsion can be modified by the path of transcendence. –Many say that one is of truest type in their 20s Can I be more than one type? –Everybody exhibits attributes and behaviors of all types, but only one type really maps the defense mechanism. The search for the compulsion will reveal type.

7 Caveats For many people discovering their type is a multi-year process. Beware of tests Beware of typing others based on their behavior Beware of stereotyping Do not underestimate the depth of the Enneagram Start by looking at a few possible types Look to the compulsion, often a blind spot

8 Now Break all the Rules Pseudo-Test –The Essential Enneagram – David Daniels Listen for which description matches well Consider each paragraph as a whole, not just individual sentences Mark as follows: –Like me –Somewhat like me –Neutral –Not really like me –Not like me Order the top 3 most like you (1-3)

9 A. I approach things in an all-or-none way, especially issues that matter to me. I place a lot of value on being strong, honest, and dependable. What you see is what you get. I don't trust others until they have proven themselves to be reliable. I like people to be direct with me, and I know when someone is being devious, lying, or trying to manipulate me. I have a hard time tolerating weakness in people, unless I understand the reason for their weakness or I see that they're trying to do something about it. I also have a hard time following orders or directions if I do not respect or agree with the person in authority. I am much better at taking charge myself. I find it difficult not to display my feelings when I am angry. I am always ready to stick up for friends or loved ones, especially if I think they are being treated unjustly. I may not win every battle with others, but they'll know I've been there.

10 B. I have high internal standards for correctness, and I expect myself to live up to those standards. It's easy for me to see what's wrong with things as they are, and to see how they could be improved. I may come across to some people as overly critical or demanding perfection, but it's hard for me to ignore or accept things that are not done the right way. I pride myself on the fact that if I'm responsible for doing something, you can be sure I'll do it right. I sometimes have feelings of resentment when people don't try to do things properly or when people act irresponsibly or unfairly, although I usually try not to show it to them openly. For me, it is usually work before pleasure, and I suppress my desires as necessary to get the work done.

11 C. I seem to be able to see all points of view pretty easily. I may even appear indecisive at times because I can see advantages and disadvantages on all sides. The ability to see all sides makes me good at helping people resolve their differences. This same ability can sometimes lead me to be more aware of other people's positions, agendas, and personal priorities than of my own. It is not unusual for me to become distracted and then to get off task on the important things I'm trying to do. When that happens, my attention is often diverted to unimportant trivial tasks. I have a hard time knowing what is really important to me, and I avoid conflict by going along with what others want. People tend to consider me to be easygoing, pleasing and agreeable. It takes a lot to get me to the point of showing my anger directly at someone. I like life to be comfortable, harmonious, and accepting.

12 D. I am sensitive to other people's feelings. I can see what they need, even when I don't know them. Sometimes it's frustrating to be so aware of people's needs, especially their pain or unhappiness, because I'm not able to do as much for them as I'd like to. It's easy for me to give of myself. I sometimes wish I were better at saying "no'; because I end up putting more energy into caring for others than into taking care of myself. It hurts my feelings if people think I'm trying to manipulate or control them, when all I'm trying to do is understand and help them. I like to be seen as a warmhearted and good person, but when I'm not taken into account or appreciated I can become very emotional or even demanding. Good relationships mean a great deal to me and I'm willing to work hard to make them happen.

13 E. Being the best at what I do is a strong motivator for me, and I have received a lot of recognition over the years for my accomplishments. I get a lot done and am successful in almost everything I take on. I identify strongly with what I do, because to a large degree I think your value is based on what you accomplish and the recognition you get for it. I always have more to do than will fit into the time available, so I often set aside feelings and self-reflection in order to get things done. Because there's always something to do, I find it hard to just sit and do nothing. I get impatient with people who don't use my time well. Sometimes I would rather just take over a project someone is completing too slowly. I like to feel and appear "on top" of any situation. While I like to compete, I am also a good team player.

14 F. I would characterize myself as a quiet, analytical person who needs more time alone than most people do. I usually prefer to observe what is going on than to be involved in the middle of it. I don't like people to place too many demands on me or to expect me to know and report what I am feeling. I'm able to get in touch with my feelings better when alone than with others, and often enjoy experiences I've had more when reliving them than when actually going through them. I'm almost never bored when alone, because I have an active mental life. It is important for me to protect my time and energy, and hence, to live a simple, uncomplicated life and to be as self- sufficient as possible.

15 G. I have a vivid imagination, especially when it comes to what might be threatening to safety and security. I can usually spot what could be dangerous or harmful and may experience as much fear as if it were really happening. I either always avoid danger or always challenge it head on. My imagination also leads to my ingenuity and a good, if somewhat offbeat, sense of humor. I would like for life to be more certain, but, in general, I seem to doubt the people and things around me. I can usually see the shortcomings in the view someone is putting forward. I suppose that, as a consequence, some people may consider me to be very astute. I tend to be suspicious of authority and am not particularly comfortable being seen as the authority. Because I can see what is wrong with the generally held view of things, I tend to identify with underdog causes. Once I have committed myself to a person or cause, I am very loyal to it.

16 H. I am an optimistic person who enjoys coming up with new and interesting things to do. I have a very active mind that quickly moves back and forth between different ideas. I like to get a global picture of how all these ideas fit together, and I get excited when I can connect concepts that initially don't appear to be related. I like to work on things that interest me, and I have a lot of energy to devote to them. I have a hard time sticking with unrewarding and repetitive tasks. I like to be in on the beginning of a project, during the planning phase, when there may be many interesting options to consider. When I have exhausted my interest in something, it is difficult for me to stay with it, because I want to move on to the next thing that has captured my interest. If something gets me down, I prefer to shift my attention to more pleasant ideas. I believe people are entitled to an enjoyable life.

17 I. I am a sensitive person with intense feelings. I often feel misunderstood and lonely, because I feel different from everyone else. My behavior can appear like drama to others, and I have been criticized for being overly sensitive and over- amplifying my feelings. What is really going on inside is my longing for both emotional connection and a deeply felt experience of relationship. I have difficulty fully appreciating present relationships because of my tendency to want what I can't have and to disdain what I do have. The search for emotional connection has been with me all my life and the absence of emotional connection has led to melancholy and depression. I sometimes wonder why other people seem to have more than I do-better relation- ships and happier lives. I have a refined sense of aesthetics and I experience a rich world of emotions and meaning.

18 Final Answer Rate the top 3 most like you, in order How many? – –Will not answer no matter what I ask? ––A––A ––B––B ––C––C ––D––D ––E––E ––F––F ––G––G ––H––H ––I––I

19 The Types 9 4 3 2 1 7 6 5 8 The Perfectionist The Giver The Performer The Romantic The Observer The Loyal Skeptic The Epicure The Boss The Mediator A B C D E F G H I

20 Body Types 9 1 8 The Perfectionist The Boss The Mediator A B C Body Types - 8, 9, 1. The Body Types all have issues relating to their anger and with relating to others. Eights, who are assertive and hard-working, tend to overexpress their anger. Nines, who are friendly and laid-back are most out of touch with their anger. Ones, who have perfectionist tendencies, often suppress emotions and underexpress their anger.

21 Heart Types 4 3 2 The Giver The Performer The Romantic D E I Heart Types - 2, 3, 4. The Heart Types all have issues relating to their feelings, or to be specific, with their image. Twos, who can sometimes seem intrusive and overly- emotional over-express their feelings. Threes, who tend to ignore their feelings in order to get the job done, and be successful, are the most out of touch with their feelings. Fours, who despite feeling emotions deeply, usually don't like to express them directly, and instead communicate usually through subtle communication or an art form, and therefore underexpress their feelings.

22 Head Types 7 6 5 The Observer The Loyal Skeptic The Epicure F G H Head Types - 5, 6, 7. The Head Types all have issues with their thoughts, or to be specific, fear and anxiety. Fives, who are removed from the physical world because they are frightened of it in a way, live in their minds, and often overexpress their thoughts. Sixes, who can't trust themselves nor anybody on the outside are caught in fear, and are thus most out of touch with their thoughts. Sevens who are afraid of introspection, turn to the outside world for action and experience, making them underexpress their thoughts.

23 Issues for each type Lost Essential Quality Compensating Belief What do I want most? What is most important to me? What is the worst thing that could happen to me? How do I see myself (on a good day)?

24 #1: The Perfectionist (B) Motto: Let MY conscience be YOUR guide Lost Essential Quality: Perfection Compensating Belief: –I must gain worthiness and love through being good and perfecting myself. I want to be morally right, to improve myself so that no one will be able to say that I am not good. It is important to me that people behave as they should The worst thing that could happen to me is that I become morally corrupt, a failure in my own eyes I am a person with high principles—logical and orderly.

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26 #2: The Giver (D) Motto: If you want to be loved, be lovable Lost Essential Quality: Universal will Compensating Belief: –To get I must give. To be loved I must be needed. I want to love and be loved, to be helpful, and to be appreciated for what I do. It is important to me that others see me as loving and helpful. The worst thing that could happen to me would be to have to live with people who don’t appreciate me or care about me. I am a warm, loving, and helpful person

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28 #3: The Performer (E) Motto: Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. –Work harder, not smarter. –Work is more fun than fun Lost Essential Quality: Hope Compensating Belief: –The world rewards doing, not being. I want to be noticed, to be admired for doing things well. It is important that others see me as being successful. The worst thing that could happen to me is that I fail at something and other people find out. I am self-confident, competitive, attractive, a winner.

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30 #4: The Romantic (I) Motto: I feel so bad since you’ve gone, it’s almost like having you here. Lost Essential Quality: Original Connection Compensating Belief: –I am deficient and something really important is missing which must be regained. I want to be understood and to understand myself. It is important for me to find a meaning and a purpose in my life. The worst thing that could happen to me is for people to think that there is something emotionally wrong with me. I am thoughtful, sincere, sensitive, and emotionally intense.

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32 #5: The Observer (F) Motto: Why one has to have a body, I don’t know. A necessary appendage to the head, I suppose. –You can observe a lot just by watching – Yogi Berra Lost Essential Quality: Omniscience Compensating Belief: –The world demands too much and gives too little. I want to know, to understand everything around me. It is important to me that I see things clearly and correctly. The worst thing that could happen to me is that my ideas be wrong, incorrect. I am very perceptive and a person who sees things more clearly than others.

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34 #6: The Loyal Skeptic (G) Motto: I don’t like being afraid. It scares me. Lost Essential Quality: Faith Compensating Belief: –The world is dangerous. I want to belong, to be safe in my own kind of friendly group. It is important to me that people be straight and fair with me. The worst thing that could happen to me is that someone I trust betrays me. I am strong-minded, friendly, and cautious.

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37 #7: The Epicure (H) Motto: When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I’ve never tried before. – Mae West Lost Essential Quality: Sustained Concentration Compensating Belief: –The world limits and frustrates people and causes pain which can be escaped. I want happiness, excitement, to discover, and to do new things. It is important to me to always have a plan for what happens next. I always have plan for the future. The worst thing that could happen to me would be to be bored and broke. I am friendly, fun-loving, and able to do well at whatever I choose to do.

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39 #8: The Boss (A) Motto: Never go to bed mad—stay up and fight!. Lost Essential Quality: Truth Compensating Belief: –This is a hard and unjust world in which the powerful take advantage of the innocent. I want to be in control, to lead, and to show that I am stronger than others. It is important that I be in control of what goes on around me. The worst thing that could happen to me is that things around me get out of control. I am different, independent, decisive, and respected.

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41 #9: The Mediator (C) Motto: I always procrastinate when I get around to it. Lost Essential Quality: Love Compensating Belief: –I am unimportant so I must blend in. I want peacefulness, to keep things as they are (or as they were). It is important that everyone get along with each other. The worst thing that could happen to me is to have to say “no” to someone and have that person get angry at me. I am a person who is friendly and easygoing, but I can be very stubborn sometimes.

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43 The Enneagram and Teams Software = Team Team = ΣPeople People = Unpredictable –Hot-Buttons – things to avoid doing –Openings – how to engage when in disagreement

44 1 - Perfectionist Hot-Buttons: –Criticize or scold them. Question their integrity. Don’t follow through with what you say you are going to do. Be chronically late. Openings: –Affirm their good intentions, their reasonableness, their integrity. Let them know that you are aware of how hard they are trying.

45 2 - Helper Hot-Buttons: –Take them for granted. Don’t thank them. Be indifferent to the friendliness. Accuse them of selfishness. Openings: –Affirm the friendship, the intimacy between you. Show appreciation. Reassure them that they matter to you.

46 3 - Achiever Hot-Buttons: –Ignore them. Look down on them. Focus on their defeats or shortcomings. Don’t include them. Be ineffectual or sloppy. Push for intimacy. Openings: –Give praise for accomplishments. Affirm their personal value—not just their performance. Allow space for feelings to emerge, but don’t demand them.

47 4 - Romantic Hot-Buttons: –Dismiss them. Disrupt their mood, their personal world. Behave crudely. Be inelegant, coarse, or insensitive to their feelings Openings: –Encourage them. Self-diagnose a similar fault or problem. Let them know that you’ll stay with them while they are working through their feelings.

48 5 - Observer Hot-Buttons: –Question their competency. Intrude on them. Start “organizing” their things. Be closed- minded, or talk about things you don’t really know about. Openings: –Be a quiet presence: supplying support, but also plenty of space. Give time for a response. Engage them with topics of mutual interest. Write a letter. ---------- email

49 6 – Loyal Skeptic Hot-Buttons: –Don’t “pull your weight.” Take the other point of view. Be secretive or evasive. Take advantage of their commitment. Openings: –Affirm your connection/friendship. Reassure them that you’re not walking out, that you’ll stand by them. Remind them of past successes, solutions.

50 7 - Epicure Hot-Buttons: –Restrict their freedom, limit their choices. Be a “wet blanket,” discouraging and pessimistic. Keep “sharing” your despair. Openings: –Acknowledge their underlying anxiety/fear. It’s OK to be anxious or sad. Give them choices. Reassure them that you care, but leave the door open.

51 8 - Boss Hot-Buttons: –Tell them what they can and can’t do. Try to get an advantage over them. Be indecisive, indirect, or “wimpy.” Beat around the bush. Openings: –Tell them what you think or how you feel, simply and directly. Get to the point. Look them in the eye and say what you mean.

52 9 - Mediator Hot-Buttons: –Disturb their peace, their calm. Yell. Direct anger at them. Be aggressive and confrontational. Make demands. Openings: –Be there. Gently ask about their state and what they want or need from the situation. Be patient in waiting for a response.

53 Coping with Conflict and Difficulty Positive Outlook (Two, Seven, Nine) –Adopt, as much as possible, a positive attitude –Look at the bright side –Morale builders – make others feel good because they want to feel good Competency (One, Three, Five) –Put their feelings aside and strive to be objective, effective, and competent –Try to solve problems logically and expect others to do the same –Have issues about how they work within a structure or system Reactive (Four, Six, Eight) –React emotionally to conflicts and problems –Want others to match their emotional state –Need to deal with their feelings first, then can move on

54 Coping Styles Positive Outlook Group – Deny that they have any problems –Two: “You have a problem. I am here to help you.” –Seven: “There may be a problem, but I’m fine.” –Nine: “What problem? I don’t think there is a problem.” Competency Group – Cut off feelings and solve problems logically –One: “ I’m sure we can solve this like sensible, mature adults.” –Three: “There’s an efficient solution to this – we just need to get to work.” –Five: “There are a number of hidden issues here: let me think about this.” Reactive Group – React strongly and need response from others –Four: “I feel really hurt, and I need to express myself.” –Six: “I feel really pressured, and I’ve got to let off some steam.” –Eight: “I’m really angry about this and you’re going to hear about it!”

55 Danger of Stereotyping

56 Software Engineering 9 4 3 2 1 7 6 5 8 The Perfectionist The Giver The Performer The Romantic The Observer The Loyal Skeptic The Epicure The Boss The Mediator Customer Support Developers/Domain/T esting HR Marketing/Sales/ Management Writers/Artists Developers/Domain Developers/Testers/ Middle Management Sales Management

57 Relation to the MBTI

58 9 4 3 2 1 7 6 5 8 Security – Move against the arrow Stress – Move with the arrow Security and Stress

59 Deeper look into the 5 The 5 in security - move to 8 –Become more direct –Can also take on some of the petty tyrant aspects of an 8 The 5 under stress/risk - move to 7 –When the major defenses of withdrawal and isolation are ineffective, a social façade may appear. –May result in a genuine ability to enjoy the flow of events rather than to contract against surprise. –In the worst case, attention scatters in a frantic search for any quick fix solution to buy time and save resources

60 Heaven & Hell for 5’s Heaven –Being paid a decent wage to pursue their own intellectual interests in a private office with co-workers who eagerly supply data. Hell –Cubicles –No Boundaries –Too much intrusion

61 Deeper look into the 5 Pair Programming –X-Scream Programming

62 The Path of Transformation Start by understanding your type Usually one of two things happen –Isn’t it great that I am Type X –Oh SHIT…I don’t want to be Type X Opportunity is to understand the compulsion The compulsion will be present, once you can be present to the compulsion you may have a choice. For the 5 –Distinguish between Detachment, and Non-Attachment –Live in the moment. –Realize that energy is self-renewing

63 Resources Books –The Essential Enneagram, David Daniels –The Enneagram Made Easy, Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele (Recommended as 1 st book) –The Pocket Enneagram, Helen Palmer –The Enneagram at Love and Work, Helen Palmer –Principles of the Enneagram, Karen Webb Internet Video –Nine Paths to a Productive and Fulfilling LifeNine Paths to a Productive and Fulfilling Life Helen Palmer Workshop in Austin

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