3SimilaritySimilarity is when someone else’s attitudes and behavior are similar to ours.It provides:Consensual validation – support for our own attitudes and behaviorComfort – lack of conflict and a feeling of shared understanding between the individualsthe people we like most are usually similar to us.
4Familiarity and Similarity Familiarity is necessary for a close relationship to developMoreland and Beach (1992) found students said they liked women who attended class more often, even though the targets didn’t interact with anyoneFamiliarity happens with repeated exposure. The “mere exposure effect” says that the more we are exposed to a person or object, the more positive our feelings about it become.Proximity or geographical nearness leads to repeated opportunities for exposure and allows familiarity to develop.
5Physical Attractiveness In the process of selecting new people to get to know, we tend to judge them to some extent by their physical attractiveness.Some qualities, such as good grooming, may indicate desirable personality traits.
6Physical Attractiveness Men may be more affected by physical attractiveness than are women.Heterosexual men rate as important in women:good lookscooking skillsfrugalityAnd women know and respond to this:Buss (1988) found that women use tactics that alter their appearance (wear make-up, keep well-groomed, wear stylish clothes, wear jewelry).
7Physical Attractiveness And women have different criteria.When seeking an intimate partner, heterosexual women rate as important in men:ConsideratenessHonestyDependabilityKindnessUnderstandingBuss (1988) found that men use tactics that involve resource possession and display (brag about cars and money, display strength) to impress women.
8Physical Attractiveness The Matching Hypotheses says that although most people would like to go out with 10’s, when it comes down to it, most of us select people whom we believe match our own level of attractiveness.
9Personality TraitsAnderson (1968) found we are attracted to people with personality traits such as being:sincerehonestunderstandingloyaltruthfultrustworthyintelligentdependable
10Social Network – Social Support Aging and the Social WorldSocial Network – Social SupportSocial Convoy model of social relations — go through life embedded in personal network of individuals that give social supportHelps those of all ages copeImproves mental and physical healthLinked to reduced symptoms of diseaseLinked to longevityEmotionally positive contact lowers depressionThe composition (people) of the convoy changes, but it does not go away.
11Peer Relations in Childhood and Adolescence Peer Group FunctionsPeers — individuals about the same age or maturity levelPeer groups provide source of information and comparison about world outside the familyPeer influences and evaluations can be negative or positive and can influence our self-concept, self-esteem, and/or behavior.
12Six Functions of Friendship CompanionshipStimulationPhysical supportEgo supportSocial comparisonIntimacy/affectionintimacy in friendship — self-disclosure and sharing of private thoughts
13Strategies for Making Friends FriendshipStrategies for Making FriendsAppropriateInitiate interactionBe niceBehave prosociallyShow respectGive social supportInappropriateBe psychologically aggressivePresent oneself negativelyBehave antisocially
14Social or Relationship Skills Probably start in the home, perhaps as early as infancy.Develop as a person grows.In pre-school years are developed through play.
15Childhood Functions of play Health Affiliation with peers Play and LeisureChildhoodFunctions of playHealthAffiliation with peersCognitive developmentExplorationTension release, master anxiety and conflictsPlay therapy
16Parten’s Classic Study of Play Play and LeisureParten’s Classic Study of PlayOnlookerParallelSolitaryUnoccupiedChild not engaging in play as commonly understood; might stand in one spotAssociativeCooperativeChild watches other children playChild plays separately from others, but in manner that mimics their playPlay that involves social interaction with little or no organizationPlay that involves social interaction ingroup with sense of organized activityChild plays alone, independently of others
17Types of Play Pretense/ Symbolic Social Practice Sensorimotor Play and LeisureTypes of PlayPretense/ SymbolicSocialPracticeSensorimotorInfants derive pleasure from exercising their sensorimotor schemesGamesRepetition of behavior when new skills are being learnedActivities engaged in for pleasure; include rulesOccurs when child transforms physical environment into symbolInvolves social interactions with peers
18Developmental Changes Peer Relations in Childhood and AdolescenceDevelopmental ChangesEarly ChildhoodFrequency of peer interaction increasesMiddle/Late ChildhoodChildren spend increasing time in peer interactionAverage time spent10% of time spent with peers at age 220% of time spent with peers at age 440% of time spent with peers during ages 7-11
19Peer Relations in Childhood and Adolescence Peer StatusesFrequently nominated as a best friend; rarely disliked by peersPopularReceive average number of positive and negative nominations from peersAverageInfrequently nominated as a best friend but not disliked by peersNeglectedInfrequently nominated as a best friend; actively disliked by peersRejectedFrequently nominated as someone's best friend and as being dislikedControversial
20Friendship during Childhood Children use friends as cognitive and social resourcesNot all friends and friendships are equalSupportive friendships advantageousCoercive, conflict-ridden friendships notFriends generally similar — age, sex, ethnicity, and many other factors
21The Nature of Friendship Changes During Childhood Damon & Hart (1988) found that friendships are for:4-7 year olds – opportunities for interaction, liking and sharing8-10 year olds – appreciation of personal qualities and mutual trust11-15 year olds – psychological closeness, intimacy and loyalty
22Friendship during Adolescence Need for intimacy intensifiesQuality of friendship more strongly linked to feelings of well-beingImportant sources of supportFriends are active partners in building a sense of identity
23Friendship during Adolescence Friendships in adolescence and adulthood tend to be intimate relationships involving trust, acceptance, liking and mutual understanding.The benefits include:reducing lonelinessbeing a source of self-esteemproviding emotional supportproviding information and social comparisonfulfilling the need to be accepted or to belong
24The Strategies for Keeping Friends . . Are much the same as those for getting them initially1. Be nice, kind, and considerate2. Be honest and trustworthy3. Respect others4. Provide emotional support
25Gender and FriendshipIn childhood, boys and girls remain voluntarily gender segregated. Boys play with boys and girls with girls.Boys’ play tends to involve rough-and-tumble activity, larger play groups, and the tendency to establish a hierarchy of who has the most status.Girls play involves smaller groups, equal status, and social scenarios involving negotiation and compromise (and often some drama).
26Gender and Friendship In friendships between women, women have close friendsare likely to listen and be sympatheticshare their thoughts and feelingsuse rapport talkIn friendships between men, men are more likely to engage in activities, show competition and use report talk.In friendships between women and men, problems can arise because of different expectations of romantic involvement.
27And sometimes we are temporarily without friends. Loneliness can occur with life transitions, such as:movingdivorcedeath of friend or family memberfirst year of collegeAt the beginning of college life, 75%said they felt lonely at least partof the time
28Relationships at Midlife Sometimes family obligations can diminish opportunities for interactions with friends.At midlife, many people find themselves in the “sandwich” generation, providing support to aging parents and adult children.Part of this may be due to the “boomerang generation” of adult children who are returning home for such reasons as divorce, financial problems, difficulty finding jobs or need for more education.
29Friendship in Late Adulthood Important role; tend to narrow social networkChoose close friends over new friendsFriends replace distant familyGender differencesWomen: more depressed without a best friend; no change in desire for friendsMen: decreased desire for new and close friends in older adulthood
31What is sexuality? Sexuality is not a personality characteristic. Sexuality is not a level of biological drive.Sexuality is a choice of behaviors.
32Heterosexual Choices90% of people have had sexual intercourse by age 22National Health & Social Life Survey (1994)to 59 year oldsPartners are alike in age, ethnicity, education & religion71% have only one sex partner per year1/3 have sex up to twice a week; 1/3 a few times a month; 1/3 a few times a year
33Heterosexual Behavior Married people have the most frequent sex & most satisfying sex livesMost popular activities intercourse, watching partner undress75% men, 85% women not unfaithfulMen think about sex moreMichael & others, 1994
34Sexuality - AdulthoodSexual activity increases through the 20s and declines in the 30s.80% of adults in committed relationships , and 88% in marriages report begin “extremely physically and emotionally satisfied.”Only a few report persistent sexual problems
35Sex and Relationships “Sex is a socially significant act.” Self-conceptFuture partnersParentsPossible childrenThe need to belongBest in truly intimate relationships
36Why is sex best in an intimate relationship? Physical and psychological intimacy influence each other.Commitment is a safeguard.A caring rather than a using partner.Identity/relationship issues are important.
37Unregulated Sexual Behavior Unregulated sexual behavior is a problem for any society.The problem is age/stage-related, in adolescence & young adulthoodAdolescents have the highest rates of STD’s all age groups, 1 in 6 per year
38STD’s (The Short List) National Center for Health Statistics, 2004 1 of 6 Americans has one.Bacterial ViralSyphilis Genital herpesGonorrhea HPVChlamydia AIDS
39Cochran & Mays (1990) 20 % of men 4% of women Indicated that they would lie to a potential sex partner about the results of a positive HIV test.
40Adolescent PregnancyU.S. adolescent pregnancy rate is higher than that of most industrialized countries40-45% of these end in abortion75% to unmarried femalesIncreased social acceptanceBelief that a baby will fill a void in life
41Teenage Mothers Likely to be poor High percentage are low-income, minoritiesTend to have limited education, poor school performance, etc.
42Effects of the Child on Circumstances Reduces likelihood of educational attainmentReduces the chance of marriageIncreases the chances of economic disadvantage and welfare
43Why so much irresponsible sex? Irresponsible MindsetLack of clear cultural standardsreligion, morality, social acceptability no longer reasons to say noSocial acceptability: Substantial numbers of people believe it is OKMost high school seniors are no longer virginsInternal conflict – ambivalent feelings; guilt20% use no contraception
44Irresponsible Mindset Lack of communication about birth control/sexAlcohol & other drugs“Romantic fog”
45Why so much irresponsible sex? PressureMedia/TV – spontaneous passion should be acted upon; the 40-year-old VirginSubculture factors – to be “normal”Peer pressure – to be acceptableDate pressure – to be loved
46We live in a sexually coercive society. 12% of American girls and 5% of boys say they were forced to have intercourseAmong those who had sex voluntarily, 25% said they really did not want to do so
47Sexual CoercionEstimated 13% of women have endured rape, legally defined as intercourse by force, by threat of harm, or when the victim is incapable of consent by reason of mental retardation, mental illness, or intoxication.1998 college survey, 44% of women had experienced sexual coercion; 19% of men had obtained sex through force
48Why is date rape a problem? Because too many people think it isn’t.Taking sex too lightly – no big dealPornography/Myths about womenBeliefs that women enjoy rapeMisreading friendlinessAssuming that refusal is part of the game
49Sexual Coercion: The Cost Psychological reactions to rape resemble those of trauma survivorsShock ConfusionWithdrawal Chronic fatigueTension Disturbed sleepDepression/Suicidal thoughts
50Homosexuals 2.7% men, 1.3% women No real evidence of biological basis No clear indications of social, environmental correlatesMay be an interaction of the two (nature-nurture question)Factors in explanationBiological plasticitySocial tolerance
51Sexual Orientation: Not Genetically Determined Identical twin concordance rate is about 50%Inconsistency of preference18% heterosexual boys, 6% girls report engaging in at least one homosexual actPrisonersBisexualityOther conditions of changing lifestyles
52New Statement from APA“There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles. . . “American Psychological Association