10 C. Contemplative Spirituality: Conversion Three As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.“ (Luke 10:38-42)
11 Balancing Activity and Contemplation Martha – Active, working for Jesus, but missing Him. Mary – Sitting at the Lord’s feet in contemplation Knowing Jesus, being with Jesus.
18 Joseph’s Family Tree Name meaning “fruitful in land of suffering”
19 Two Biblical Principles A. The Blessing and Sins of Our Families Have Impact Lasting for at Least Three to Four Generations.
20 Ex. 34:6-8 Moses asks to see God’s glory “And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, The Lord, the compassionate and gracious God…Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation. Ex. 20:4-6 You shall not make for yourself an idol… for I am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments. 2 Kings. 10:30 Because you have done well in accomplishing what is right in my eyes…, your descendents will sit on my throne in Israel to the fourth generation (Jehu). 2 Sam. 12:10 (Bathsheba) Now therefore the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.
21 Two Biblical Principles A. The Blessing and Sins of Our Families Have Impact Lasting for at Least Three to Four Generations. B. Becoming a Christian is to be Birthed into a New Family and a New Culture; Discipleship is the Process of Putting off our Sinful Patterns of our Family of Origin.
23 Cousin with Down Syndrome Cousin killed in Vietnam 1968 Italian ImmigrantsItalian ImmigrantsLove of MusicLove of EducationConflicted MarriageNo IntimacyDIED YOUNGWomanizerAbusiveDominantInferiority complexWasted livesTrappedEmotionally ABANDONEDPassiveDrivenPhysically AbusiveAbsentConflictedNo intimacyStableNarcissistic,Emotionally AbusiveClinically depressed“Take care of Me”Emotionally Abandoned,Inferiority ComplexTrappedFear of Abandonment“Take care of Others”DrivenEarthquake EventsThemesAbandonmentsCut-offsOverworkingUnhappy Marriages______________Cousin with Down SyndromeCousin killed in Vietnam 1968Brother joins Unification Church (declared dead)_________________
34 Applications: Going Back to Go Forward 1. Become Aware of Your Family Commandments Are you living in your “father’s” house or your “Father’s” house?
35 Applications: Going Back to Go Forward 1. Awareness of Your Family Commandments 2. Experience the Transforming Power of the Gospel
36 Gospel vs. Legalism Gospel 1. We believe 2. Christ accepts us totally, absolutely3. We obeyWorks RighteousnessWe believe2. We obey3. Christ accepts us totally, absolutely
37 The GospelGod treats you as if you have done everything Jesus has doneGod loves you the way He loves JesusGod is the same today, yesterday, and 100 million years from nowGospel is to rely on Christ’s record for your relationship with God
38 Sample Scripts from Our Family of Origin Don’t be you.You’ll never amount to anything.Don’t make mistakes.Be quiet and obey.Don’t assert yourself.Don’t ask for what you want or need.Don’t feel.Don’t trust.Don’t be weak or vulnerable.
39 God’s New Script for UsIt is good that you exist. You are loveable. You are good enough. You are a joy. You have nothing left to prove. Your needs are a delight. You are allowed to make mistakes.
40 Applications: Going Back to Go Forward 3. The Process of Going Back to Go Forward Never Ends.
41 Applications: Going Back to Go Forward 4. New Skills are Needed to Create Healthy Church Community
42 Applications: Going Back to Go Forward 5. Be Aware of Emotional Triggers and Allergies An emotional allergy is a reaction to something in the present that reminds us of something similar to the past.
44 6. Differentiation and Personal Integrity A. Working Definition: Remaining connected to people and yet not having your reaction or behavior determined by them. My primary task, like Jesus, is to calmly differentiate my “true self” from the demands and voices around me, discerning the desires, vision, pace, and mission the Father has given me.
45 B. Differentiation Scale 0…….…25……...…50…….….75…..…..100
46 C. Four Qualities of Differentiation Clear sense of self in close proximity to othersSelf-regulate anxiety and self-soothe hurtsNon-reactive to others’ anxietiesTolerate discomfort for growth
47 Applications of Differentiation Good Leadership – Thinking Clearly, Value Driven2. Anxiety/Need for “Other Validation” = No Leadership
48 Applications of Differentiation Good Leadership – Thinking Clearly, Value Driven2. Anxiety/Need for “Other Validation” = No Leadership3. Differentiation at Home and at Church are Closely Related
49 SESSION 3 CONTEMPLATIVE SPIRITUALITY: SLOWING DOWN TO BE WITH GOD
50 Present Day Reality of Many in Our Churches: Living off others’ spirituality (no time)Life on the runScattered, fragmented, un-centered, overloaded, distractedMostly head not heart experience of JesusA one-inch-deep spiritualityNot really praying very muchNot very intentional in pursuing JesusState of partial inattentionExhaustedMarked by Frenzied Busyness
53 33 Pentecost 325 1st Ecumenical Council and the Nicene Creed 1054 Protestant ChurchesMartin Luther’sReformationBegins1517Church ofEngland1529NewTestamentEraRoman Catholic ChurchSeven Ecumenical CouncilsONE HOLY CATHOLIC AND APOSTOLIC CHURCHOrthodox Church33Pentecost3251st EcumenicalCouncil and the NiceneCreed1054Great SchismOf East and WestAdapted from “Becoming Orthodox: A Journey to the Ancient Christian Faith, Gillepsie
55 OFFICES (opus) = work of God 1. The Daily Office(Fixed Hour Prayer)OFFICES (opus) = work of God-- My work in life first is to seek God.Ps. 27:4
56 David Seven times a day do I praise you. Ps. 119:164 It is good to praise the Lord…To proclaim your love in the morning, And your faithfulness at night. Ps. 92:2Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress And he hears my voice. Ps. 55:17
57 Daniel“Daniel went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to God, just as he had done before.” Dan. 6:10
58 Sabbath= to stop for a 24-hour period each week
59 Ten Commandments (Ex.20)1. You shall have no other gods before me 2. You shall not make for yourself an idol. 3. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God. 4. Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord our God. On it you shall not do any work,... For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy” 5. Honor your father and your mother. 6. You shall not murder 7. You shall not commit adultery. 8. You shall not steal. 9. You shall not give false witness. 10. You shall not covet.
60 Receive the Gift of Sabbath Sabbath – ( Hebrew: SHABAT)stoprestdelightcontemplatefor a 24-hour period each week.
63 4 Qualities to Biblical Sabbath: StoppingResting from:workhurrymultitaskinganxiety/worrycatching up errands“have to’s” and “shoulds”
64 4 Qualities to Biblical Sabbath: StopRestDelight
65 4 Qualities to Biblical Sabbath: StopRestDelightContemplate
66 some of our Sabbath Resources… This and more available on our website, book table,& in the Shell Room
67 Small GroupsWhat questions am I holding?Decide on a possible 24-hour period each week.Reflect on the following questions:What do I need to stop that relates to my work—paid and unpaid?What activities create rest and delight for me?How can I structure a Sabbath to help me see God’s goodness and miracles all around me?
68 FAQ’sHow do I go about deciding what specific activities are acceptable and unacceptable on the Sabbath? Isn’t Jesus our Sabbath-rest? Is this another works-righteousness? How do I cease from the work of parenting? What do I about my children who aren’t interested in Sabbath? What about sports and extra-curricular activities your children may be involved in? What do I do about my tendency to perfectionism?
74 PRAYERScriptureSilence and SolitudeDaily OfficeStudyRESTSabbathSimplicityPlay and RecreationACTIVITYService and MissionCare for the Physical BodyRELATIONSHIPSEmotional HealthFamilyCommunity (companions for your journey)
75 Complete the following…. As a result of our time together, I am beginning to realize….
76 D. Final ApplicationsPastoral Staff Rule of LifeNew Life Fellowship Rule of LifeAdjusting to Make Space for God, Ourselves and Our Marriages
77 SESSION 4 EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY SKILLS TO CREATE NEW CULTURE
78 Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Components EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY FORMATIONCONTEMPLATIVESPIRITUALITY(SLOW DOWNTO BE WITH GOD)EMOTIONALLY HEALTHYLEADERSHIPEMOTIONALLY HEALTHYSKILLSEMOTIONALLY HEALTHYMARRIAGES(AND SEXUALITY)
80 Stop Mind ReadingReflect on something you suspect the other person thinks or feels but hasn’t told you,Ask permission: “Do I have permission to read your mind?”“I think you think….” “Is this correct?”Listener respondsClosure
81 Expectations for a Pastor Preach great sermons every SundayBe a great administratorVisit the sick and needyShould know about every person’s hardship in churchHave a great marriage and children who love JesusCompetent in handling money, pastoring, teaching, counseling, administration, buildings, etc.Be a visionary leaderIdentifies, equips, and leads a growing staff in a growing churchBe perfect (e.g., strong but tender)Live on less money than the rest of the churchNever get depressed or angry or struggle with doubts.Be accessible a lotHave spouse that is super-supportiveReturn every phone call andAttend members’ families’ important events (funerals, parties, etc.)
85 Emotionally Healthy Leadership Dual RelationshipsHiring/FiringStrategic Planning and Waiting on GodPreaching/Teaching and Integrity
86 Emotionally Healthy Leadership E. Leadership and the Marriage Vow F. Social Media and Remaining Rooted in the Ancient Church G. The Gift of Limits H. Growing Beyond our Tradition to Learn from Others in the Family
87 33 Pentecost 325 1st Ecumenical Council and the Nicene Creed 1054 Protestant ChurchesMartin Luther’sReformationBegins1517Church ofEngland1529NewTestamentEraRoman Catholic ChurchSeven Ecumenical CouncilsONE HOLY CATHOLIC AND APOSTOLIC CHURCHOrthodox Church33Pentecost3251st EcumenicalCouncil and the NiceneCreed1054Great SchismOf East and WestAdapted from “Becoming Orthodox: A Journey to the Ancient Christian Faith, Gillepsie
88 The Critical Issue of Integrity Critical Issues Your Integrity 1. With God 2. With Yourself 3. With Your Marriage (if applicable)
89 The Critical Issue of Integrity Critical IssuesYour Integrity1. With God2. With Yourself3. With Your Marriage (if applicable)4. With Your Leadership
90 Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Components EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY FORMATIONCONTEMPLATIVESPIRITUALITY(SLOW DOWNTO BE WITH GOD)EMOTIONALLY HEALTHYLEADERSHIPEMOTIONALLY HEALTHYSKILLSEMOTIONALLY HEALTHYMARRIAGES(AND SEXUALITY)
91 Next Steps Begin the Journey and Engage the Message 2. Process with Others in Small Group(DVD and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Workbook)3. Invite the Wider Church to Begin the Journey (Church-Wide Initiative)4. Visit the website - further resources:Join the mailing list/blog
92 Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Pastor/Leader Life Cycle Begin the JourneyRead EHC, EHS I QuitEmotionally Healthy SpiritualitySmall Group w/ LeadersSlower Healthier Life/ New Skills(Begin the Journey)Church-wideInitiativeDeeper Integration of EHS/ Rule of Life into the Church