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Personal Growth Different Kinds of Friends Different Kinds of Friends Six different kinds of friends Proposed by Judith Viorst in “Necessary Losses”

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Presentation on theme: "Personal Growth Different Kinds of Friends Different Kinds of Friends Six different kinds of friends Proposed by Judith Viorst in “Necessary Losses”"— Presentation transcript:

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2 Personal Growth Different Kinds of Friends

3 Different Kinds of Friends Six different kinds of friends Proposed by Judith Viorst in “Necessary Losses” 1). Convenience Friends Persons with whom we exchange small favors; friendly relationship with limited intimacy. 2). Special Interest Friends People with whom we share common activities and interests; a level of regular involvement, but not deep intimacy.

4 Different Kinds of Friends 3). Historical Friends Persons who were friends in our past, but who we don’t see often; there may be little in common now, but there is intimacy that comes from being able to say “I knew you when…” 4). Crossroad Friends Significant friends at a special time of our lives (e.g. college, first job, roommate); little current contact, but the specialness can be quickly regenerated if there is an interaction.

5 Different Kinds of Friends 5). Cross-Generational Friends Older-younger relationships that have influence and intimacy (e.g. mentor, non-family friend); older persons are valued for their counsel and acceptance and the younger persons for their liveliness and eagerness to learn. 6). Close Friends Persons who hear our deepest disclosures and most intimate thoughts; those with whom we trust and with whom we can just “be.”

6 Personal Growth Parents: Getting Stuck in Patterns

7 Parents: Getting Stuck... Childhood Adolescence Dependent Oppositional/ Argumentataive Docile Rebellious Defiant Passive Interdependence Independence Aggressive

8 Parents: Getting Stuck... How can you tell if you’re stuck, in any way, regarding your parents? (Shepard) You don’t want your parents to meet your friends because they embarrass you You still feel that you’re an extension of your parents. You want/need your parent’s approval constantly Task of the child/adolescent-stuck person Get unstuck by learning to do things on your own and becoming more self-sufficient and responsible.

9 Parents: Getting Stuck... The Power of Memories People often have problems dealing with their parents when they frequently react to memories of both their parents and themselves, from years ago, and not in the reality of today (holding onto the past - the emotions are still there). Problem for many parents as well Try any of Shepard’s exercises (pg. 233) that interest you; you can reflect on them in your journal


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