Student will identify the roles often played that are barriers to relationships and learn new skills for creating healthy relationships.
Caretaker: Focus on others, not self. Difficult to have relationship unless you are willing to be the child. Need to be needed. People Pleaser: Never make waves; peace at any price. They often have Intimacy problems; don’t speak up for their needs and wants. So often have boundary problems. Workaholic: Feel they are only as good as they produce. Intimacy problems because they feel they never count as much as the project or profit; which is always more important They will always feel shortchanged. Boundaries: They don’t know how to have fun. Martyr: Belief that life is supposed to be painful; be on guard. Boundary – no pleasure or fun. Shy away from intimacy because it feels good – can’t tolerate too much happiness. So they sabotage the relationship.
Perfectionist: If its not perfect something is wrong. Boundary: Good is never good enough. Intimacy issues: Partner has to be perfect also. Procrastinator: Feel you will fail; so just put it off. Boundary Issues around failure. Intimacy – hardly ever get around to it. Tap Dancer: Deathly afraid of commitment. Always looking for An escape route. Boundaries around commitment. Intimacy – can’t make a commitment to another. Pouter: Identify based on “If I don’t get what I want, I’m going To punish you.” Masters of emotional withdrawal. Intimacy – There’s always an amount of conflict; just Shut down.
Macho Man: Never let anyone too close – don’t share feelings; will withdraw, isolate, never ask for help. Boundaries – no one gets too close. Intimacy – Impossible. Hypersensitive: Feel everyone is talking about them; have their guard up. Boundaries; too afraid of being wrong, getting caught, or being punished. Intimacy – Can’t communicate. “What do you mean by that?” Hard to get close to.
1. The ability to make a commitment 2. The ability to be personally responsible 3. The ability to talk straight 4. The ability to fight fair 5. The ability to nurture 6. The ability to have fun