2Marriage… Communication and Sex Marriage PyramidProblem level…RelationalSkills LevelWORSHIP LEVEL
3Marriage… Communication and Sex 3 models of communication:ActionInteractionTransaction
4Marriage… Communication and Sex Eph 4:25-32 is a good passage on communication.There are good points on communication.For context, need to consider verses
5Marriage… Communication and Sex Eph 4:17-24Darkened in their understandingSeparated from the life of GodIgnorant from hard heartsCallousLusting for more impurityNew attitude of mindTaught in ChristNew self created to be like GodRighteousHoly
6Marriage… Communication and Sex Eph 4:15ffSpeaking the truth in love, while reflecting a changed heart, should help move a person from the old self to the new self (i.e., sanctification)!
7Marriage… Communication and Sex Eph 4:25-32Principle #1: speak the truth in loveThis is different from refraining from lying.
8Marriage… Communication and Sex Eph 4:25-32Principle #1: speak the truth in loveViolations to Principle #1:Double bindBackdoor communicationsSneak attack
9Marriage… Communication and Sex Eph 4:25-32Principle #2: stay currentDeal with your anger.Bitterness = Anger + TimeCheck out Psalm 4:4ff, Paul quotes this verse.
10Marriage… Communication and Sex Eph 4:25-32Principle #3: No unwholesome talkWholesome talk builds up a person. It addresses the issues. It doesn’t attack the person, but the problem.Examples of unwholesome talkExaggerationsUsing trait namesHitting below the beltAssuming the other’s motives
11Marriage… Communication and Sex Eph 4:25-32Principle #4: Don’t be ruled by anger; speak words of confession and forgiveness.People don’t like to confess and ask for forgiveness.This reveals a belief that there is no real solution to sin except to try harder.When a person confesses and ask for forgiveness, then we should forgive the person and not make them work their way back.
12Marriage… Communication and Sex Review on sex…God designed sex to be engaged within marriage.Sexuality was designed by Christ as a way to know God more fully (Eze. 16:13-16, 32-33, 35-37; Eph. 5:25-27)[Note: not in a Pagan sort of way!]Knowing Christ more fully in all of his infinite supremacy is designed as a way of guarding and guiding our sexuality.
13Marriage… Communication and Sex Some guiding thoughts on sex…Any and all pleasure need to be subordinate to the pleasure in God.“That which is not desired as a Means to some Higher end, is desired as our ultimate end itself (in that act). But God only is man’s lawful ultimate end.” -- Richard BaxterSex is designed to be a pointer to God, not a substitute for God.Sex is also the physical sign of the marriage covenant.
14Marriage… Communication and Sex Typical Progression of Physical IntimacyNon-ChristianSexualIntercourse“Typical” ChristianNo PhysicalIntimacyNo CommitmentEngagedMarried
15Marriage… Communication and Sex Biblical Progression of Physical IntimacySexualIntercourseNo PhysicalIntimacyNo CommitmentEngagedMarried
16Marriage… Communication and Sex Some guiding thoughts on sex…Ultimately, sex is a spiritual act and not just physicalIt always involve the spirit of man working together with the will of God, communing with the Holy Spirit, orThe spirit of man in rebellion against God, pushing the Holy Spirit away.