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Healthy Relationships and Sexuality: Making Commitments

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1 Healthy Relationships and Sexuality: Making Commitments

2 Healthy Relationships

3 Characterizing and Forming Intimate Relationships
Behavioral interdependence Mutual impact Need fulfillment Social approval and reassurance Emotional attachment Feelings of love Emotional availability Ability to give and receive

4 How Intimate Is a Relationship
Figure 5.1

5 Forming Intimate Relationships
Families Family of origin Establishing friendships Enjoyment Acceptance Understanding


7 Forming Intimate Relationships
Significant others, partners, couples Fascination Exclusiveness Sexual desire Giving the utmost Being an advocate or champion

8 Common Bonds of Friends and Lovers
Figure 5.2

9 Forming Intimate Relationships
Theories of love Intimacy Passion Commitment There are many different definitions of love. How would you define it?

10 Forming Intimate Relationships
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love Intimacy – closeness, sharing, emotional support Passion – lust, attraction, sexual arousal, sharing Compassion – decision to be open to love, commitment to relationship

11 Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
Figure 5.3

12 ABC News: Healthy Interpersonal Relationships
Play Video | Healthy Interpersonal Relationships Discussion Questions Were you surprised at how many people are involved in Internet dating? Why or why not? Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of Internet dating. Are there certain types of individuals that may benefit the most from joining an Internet dating web site?

13 Communicating: A Key to Good Relationships
People communicate differently No two people communicate in the exact same way Communicating how you feel The ability to communicate assertively is an important relationship skill. Past communication styles may be different in relationships and a couple may have a difficult time communicating.

14 Communicating: A Key to Good Relationships
Improving your communication skills Learn to share and self-disclose Get to know yourself Become more accepting of yourself Be willing to discuss your sexual history Choose a safe context for self-disclosure Learn to listen

15 Gender Issues in Relationships
Genderlect Coined by Deborah Tannen to categorize the differences in men’s and women’s language patterns Styles in Decision Making Picking Partners Similarities Reciprocity Attraction What do you look for when picking a partner?

16 Overcoming Barriers to Intimacy
Dysfunctional families Inhibits psychological growth and/or self-love Obstacles to emotional/mental health Jealousy in relationships Overdependence on the relationship High value placed on sexual exclusivity Severity of the threat Low self-esteem Fear of losing control

17 Committed Relationships
Marriage Monogamy Serial monogamy Open relationships Cohabitation Common-law marriage

18 Committed Relationships
Gay and lesbian partnerships Significant increase in 2000 census – three times the reported number than in 1990 census Probably much higher than reported Staying single 86% of American men 75% of American women

19 Staying single Increasingly common to marry later or remain single
75% of American women, 86% of American men, aged never been married Many new social groups support single lifestyle Sexual intimacy may not be present, but other interactions with loved ones fulfill many needs for intimacy

20 Success in Relationships
Partnering scripts Most children are raised with a strong script of what is expected of them as adults Society provides constant reinforcement for traditional couples People who have not chosen an “traditional” partner may experience a great deal of stress

21 Success in Relationships
Being self-nurturant Love yourself Accountability Accepting responsibility for personal decisions, choices, actions Self-nurturance Developing individual potential through a balanced and realistic appreciation of self-worth and ability

22 Having Children…or Not?
Many factors to consider Relationships change when a couple decides to have children Resources and attention are split Existing stressors in a relationship further accentuated when parenting added to responsibilities Having a child is not a cure for a bad relationship, and may actually increase stressors on the relationship Blended families more common Those other than heterosexual couples now parenting Over 25% of school-aged children living in families headed by single parents

23 When Relationships Falter
Communication breakdown When and why relationships end Divorce rate is 41% Illness Finances Unmet expectations

24 When Relationships Falter
Coping with failed relationships Recognize and acknowledge your feelings Find healthful ways to express your emotions Spend time with friends, both old and new Don’t rush into the “rebound” relationship

25 Building Better Relationships
Elements of Healthy Relationships Good communication Intimacy Friendship Trust Predictability Dependability Faith


27 Your Sexual Identity Facts All eggs carry an X chromosome
Sperm carry an X or a Y chromosome Sex hormones play a major role in puberty Male – testosterone Female – estrogen, progesterone Pituitary gland- gonadotropins Secondary sex characteristics

28 Your Sexual Identity Sex Biological condition of being male or female
Gender Psychosocial condition Gender roles Gender identity Gender-role stereotyping Androgyny Socialization

29 Your Sexual Identity Sexual orientation
Best understood by using a multifactorial model, which incorporates biological, psychological, and socioenvironmental factors. Heterosexual Homosexual Bisexual Homophobia Irrational fear or hatred of homosexuality Why is sexual orientation controversial in our society?


31 Sexual Anatomy and Physiology

32 Female Sexual Anatomy and Physiology
External female genitals Mons pubis – pad of fatty tissue covering the pubic bone Labia minora – folds of mucous membrane Labia majora – folds of skin and erectile tissue that enclose openings Clitoris – female sexual organ, only known function is pleasure Urethral opening – urine leaves the body Vaginal opening – opening to the vagina Hymen – a thin membrane that may cover the vagina in some women Perineum – the area between the vulva and anus

33 Female Sexual Anatomy and Physiology
Figure 5.4

34 Female Sexual Anatomy and Physiology
Internal female genitals Vagina – a tubular organ that serves as a passageway from the uterus to the outside of the female body Uterus (womb) – hollow, muscular, pear-shaped Endometrium – inner lining of the uterus, either prepares the uterus for implantation or menstrual flow Fallopian tubes – extending from the uterus, two thin tubes where sperm and egg meet Ovaries – almond-sized structures suspended on either side of the uterus that produce the female hormones

35 Side View of the Female Reproductive Organs
Figure 5.5

36 Female Sexual Anatomy and Physiology
Puberty and the menstrual cycle Endocrine system Hypothalamus Gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) Luteinizing hormone (LH) Ovaries produce estrogens and progesterone

37 Female Sexual Anatomy and Physiology
Menarche – first menstrual period Generally starts between ages 9 to 17 Body fat influences onset of puberty Menstrual cycle 28 days long Proliferative phase, secretory phase, menstrual phase Menopause – permanent cessation of menstruation Generally between ages 41 and 60 Onset symptoms aided by hormone replacement therapy (HRT)

38 The Three Phases of the Menstrual Cycle
Figure 5.6

39 Hormonal Control and Phases of the Menstrual Cycle
Figure 5.7

40 Male Sexual Anatomy and Physiology
External genitals Scrotum – protects the testes Penis – deposits semen Internal genitals Testes – manufacture testosterone Epididymis – sperm ripen here in a comma shaped structure at the back of the testes

41 Male Sexual Anatomy and Physiology
Internal genitals Vas deferens – stores and transfers sperm Urethra – passes sperm and urine Seminal vesicles – provides fluids to semen Prostate gland – provides fluids to semen Cowper’s glands – secretes fluid that lubricates the urethra

42 Side View of the Male Reproductive Organs
Figure 5.8

43 Human Sexual Response Process Excitement/arousal – vasocongestion
Plateau phase – nipples and penis erect Orgasmic phase – muscles contract Resolution phase – profound relaxation Refractory period – most men unable to become aroused following resolution

44 Expressing Your Sexuality
“Normal” sexual behavior Heterosexual standard Coital standard The orgasmic standard Two-person standard Romantic standard Safer sex standard

45 Expressing Your Sexuality
Sexual expression Celibacy – avoidance or abstention from sex Autoerotic behaviors – sexual fantasy & masturbation Kissing and erotic touching – nonverbal sexual communication Manual stimulation – use of sex toys Oral-genital stimulation Cunnilingus – oral stimulation of the female’s genitals Fellatio – oral stimulation of the male’s genitals Vaginal intercourse – penis into the vagina Anal intercourse – insertion of the penis into the anus

46 ABC News: Love and Sexuality
Play Video | Love and Sexuality Discussion Questions Are you surprised by the high percentage of women who say that they are sexually unsatisfied? Why or why not? Why do you think so many women have difficulty expressing their needs and desires during sexual intercourse? Discuss some of the statements that women shared as to what they thought the opposite sex should know about them.

47 Expressing Your Sexuality
Variant sexual expression Group sex Transvestism Fetishism Exhibitionism Voyeurism Sadomasochism Pedophilia Autoerotic asphyxiation How many of these variant behaviors have you heard of?

48 Difficulties That Can Hinder Sexual Functioning
Sexual desire disorder Inhibited sexual desire (ISD) Sexual aversion disorder Sexual arousal disorder Erectile dysfunction or impotence Orgasmic disorders Premature ejaculation Female orgasmic disorder

49 Difficulties That Can Hinder Sexual Functioning
Sexual performance anxiety Sexual pain disorder Dyspareunia Vaginismus Seeking help for sexual dysfunction Chose a qualified sex therapist or counselor

50 Difficulties That Can Hinder Sexual Functioning
Drugs and sex Alcohol can inhibit sexual response Tendency to blame the drug for bad behavior “Date Rape Drugs” Rohypnol (“roofies”) Gamma-hydroxybutrane (GHB)

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