non-subjective relationships relationship based on a positive feeling relationship based on reciprocity and trust relationship based on mutual awareness and understanding
Friendship Formation GOTTMAN –Establishing common-ground activity –Greater communication clarity –More successful at exchanging information –More skillful at conflict resolution –More self-disclosure
Friendships of Very Young Children Young children aren’t able to articulate their ideas about friendship Depth of intimacy & strategies for negotiating conflict improve with age Nonetheless, even toddlers interact differently with friends than with non-friends
Friendships of Very Young Children spend more time with friends attempt reconciliation more often with friends quarrel more with friends are more forgiving of friends Friends act as a support in times of change
Friendships of Very Young Children Loss of friends is associated with: –decline in social play –distress and anxiety Early friendships can be stable more than 50% of preschoolers have reciprocal friendships more than 60% of these friendships are stable over 6 months
Rejected-Aggressive Children Tend to misinterpret innocent behaviors of others as hostile Poor social problem solvers Show severe behavioral problems
Does being Aggressive mean being Rejected? Many aggressive children tend to form their own friendship networks Many aggressive children have “best friends” Networks and friendships are composed of other aggressive children
Rejected-Withdrawn Children Shy, passive, socially awkward. Have negative expectations of how others will treat them. At risk of being victimized by bullies.
Rejected children (aggressive and withdrawn) have more difficulty than other children finding constructive solutions to difficult social situations. Rejected children suggest fewer and more hostile strategies than do their more popular peers.
Neglected Children Socially uninvolved children Are they at risk? –usually well-adapted –not particularly unhappy or lonely –not aggressive or hostile –enjoy solitary activities
Is there a connection between being neglected and rejected? It may be that neglected children are children who were rejected –rejection withdrawal It may be that neglected children will end up being rejected –withdrawal rejection
Controversial Children hostile and disruptive BUT ALSO engage in pro-social behaviors appear happy and well-adjusted
Popular Children Friendly, helpful, considerate How do they get to be popular? –Make attempts at entering group –Initially go along –Don’t ask too many questions –Don’t try to change group’s agenda
Stability of Sociometric Status In the short term, popular & rejected are more stable than neglected or controversial In the long term, sociometric status is relatively unstable except for rejected children
Close Friendship Reciprocity Quality
Popularity Based on how many peers nominate a child as someone with whom they like to play or work. There is only a partial overlap between popularity and friendship.
POPULARITY: involves gaining acceptance among peers FRIENDSHIP: involves forming a stable & intimate relationship with a peer
Parker & Asher (1993) Low accepted children (LA) High accepted children (HA) Do LA children they have friends? What is the quality of their friendships?
Parker & Asher (1993) HA more likely to have a best friend than LA not all HA have a best friend many LA have a best friend best friendships of LA are more problematic than those of HA regardless of status, children without a best friend are more lonely than children with a best friend
Popularity & Friendship contribute to children’s well-being Popularity and Peer Acceptance –serve as a context in which children develop leadership skills, assertiveness, & conflict resolution strategies Close Friendships –provide a safe context for self-exploration –meet child’s needs for intimacy and social support
Consequences of Close Friendships School performance/adjustment Social & emotional support
How can parents and teachers help children develop the skills for creating and maintaining close friendships?