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Chapter 5 Healthy Relationships and Sexuality Making Commitments.

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1 Chapter 5 Healthy Relationships and Sexuality Making Commitments

2 Intimate Relationships Close relationshipClose relationship you offer and are offered validationvalidation understandingunderstanding sense of being valued intellectually, emotionally and physicallysense of being valued intellectually, emotionally and physically

3 Characteristics Behavioral Interdependence mutual impact on each othermutual impact on each other daily activities intertwineddaily activities intertwined grow togethergrow together missed if gonemissed if gone

4 Characteristics Need Fulfillment approval/sense of purpose…….approval/sense of purpose……. need for intimacy - share feelingneed for intimacy - share feeling social integration (worries and concerns)…….social integration (worries and concerns)……. being nurturant - someone to take care of…….being nurturant - someone to take care of……. need for assistance - help when needed……….need for assistance - help when needed………. affirmation of worth - we matter…….affirmation of worth - we matter…….

5 Characteristics Emotional attachment feelings of love and attachmentfeelings of love and attachment impossible to judge from outsideimpossible to judge from outside can be sexual or non-sexualcan be sexual or non-sexual intimate relationships go beyond sexual contactintimate relationships go beyond sexual contact can be an important part but not a requirementcan be an important part but not a requirement

6 Emotional Availability to give and receive emotionallyto give and receive emotionally without the fear of being hurt or rejectedwithout the fear of being hurt or rejected times to be less emotionally available - recovery from losstimes to be less emotionally available - recovery from loss

7 Balanced Intimacy…several dimensions Types of Intimate Relationships Balanced Intimacy…several dimensions Sexual - expression of closenessSexual - expression of closeness Intellectual - sharing of ideasIntellectual - sharing of ideas Emotional - significant feelingEmotional - significant feeling Aesthetic - sharing experiencesAesthetic - sharing experiences Recreational - having funRecreational - having fun Work - house, family, employment and communityWork - house, family, employment and community Crisis - successful coping with internal and external threatsCrisis - successful coping with internal and external threats Spiritual - sharing the meaning of lifeSpiritual - sharing the meaning of life

8 Forming Intimate Relationships Changes throughout life family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances Families - changed over the years both parents working, life’s demands and societyFamilies - changed over the years both parents working, life’s demands and society Is today’s Family………..Is today’s Family………..different???

9 Friendships: finding the Right Ingredients EnjoymentEnjoyment AcceptanceAcceptance TrustTrust RespectRespect Mutual AssistanceMutual Assistance ConfidingConfiding UnderstandingUnderstanding SpontaneitySpontaneity

10 Significant Others, Partners, Couples Sexual Relationships Four Categories: married heterosexual couplesmarried heterosexual couples cohabiting heterosexual couplescohabiting heterosexual couples lesbian coupleslesbian couples gay male couplesgay male couples

11 Friendship with Passion Fascinationspend as much time as possible with the other personFascination - spend as much time as possible with the other person Exclusiveness - love relationship takes priority/only personExclusiveness - love relationship takes priority/only person Sexual Desire - physical intimacy may not be acted upon b/c of religious, moral, or practical reasonsSexual Desire - physical intimacy may not be acted upon b/c of religious, moral, or practical reasons Giving the Utmost - other’s need/sacrificeGiving the Utmost - other’s need/sacrifice Being a champion/advocate - unselfish acts to help other succeedBeing a champion/advocate - unselfish acts to help other succeed

12 LOVECompanionate: family/close friends relationship - common interests/attached/well- being/express reciprocal liking & respect Passionate: state of high arousal/ecstasy of love - agony of rejection

13 Passionate Love….. “Falling in Love”concept of “Falling in Love” excepted by culture “love Object”suitable “love Object”must be presented taught attributes to seek out - parents, peers, pop culture…….. physiological arousal in presence of person!

14 Attraction and Love! Imprinting……Imprinting…… evolutionary patterns, genetic predisposition, past experiences….. trigger romantic response Attraction……Attraction……neurochemicals - feelings of euphoria and elation Attachment……Attachment……endorphins, natural opiates - peaceful, secure and calm Production of a cuddle chemical…..Production of a cuddle chemical….. oxytocin - satisfaction and attachment during love making...

15 Fourth Year Divorce Rate - Present in 60 cultures Tolerance to PEA levels drop and the feeling of love reducesTolerance to PEA levels drop and the feeling of love reduces Past four years - endorphins - soothing substances that give lovers the feeling of peace, security and calmPast four years - endorphins - soothing substances that give lovers the feeling of peace, security and calm

16 Gender Issues: Men, Women, and Relationships Understanding and communication very important styles of men and women differ can create problems / seems like different cultures Differences Why?

17 Barriers to Intimacy - lack of personal identity, emotional immaturity, not responsible, fear of being hurt, low self-esteem…. Other reasons Dysfunctional Family - interactions inhibit instead of enhancing psychological growth Jealousy - adverse reaction to from actual or perceived relationships with a third party

18 Committed Relationships Feeling of love or sexual attraction and a committed relationship….? Love without Sex without Committed - intention to perpetuate wellbeing of the other person, yourself and the relationship

19 Marriage - traditional committed relationship in many societies Monogamy - exclusive sexual involvement / one partner Serial monogamy- series of monogamous relationships Open Relationship - agreed sexual involvement outside the relationship Cohabitation - Living together / not married Common-law marriage - cohabitation 3 years / similar to marriage but not all legal aspects

20 Success in Committed Relationships Marriage - success based on how long the couple stays together Cohabitation - meets other’s situations and needs Both can be healthy and successful

21 Success in Committed Relationships Partnering Scripts - what is expected from society / passed along from parents - “marry and have children” Accountability - responsibility for personal decisions, choices and actions Self-nurturance - developing individual potential / realistic /appreciation for self-worth and ability

22 Elements of a Good Relationship Predictability - knowing your partner Dependability - reliable / supportive Faith - certain about partner’s intentions & behaviours Trust

23 Ending a Relationship The Warning Signs! Communication breakdown lack of interest emotional confrontations feelings of being unappreciated / unwanted / unloved Autonomy -self-care / emotionally, socially, and physically

24 Seeking Help: Where to Look - trusted friends / trained professional counsellors Seeking Help: Where to Look - trusted friend / trained professional counsellors Trial Separations - time out to heal and to reflect on the relationship / professional help Why Relationships End Unmet needs, differences, loss of a child ….. Many …. many reasons

25 Deciding to Break Up Troubled couples decide relationship not worth saving Difficult - strong emotions, pain, guilt, revenge, hurt, confusion, worthlessness Seek support and help to cope

26 Defining Your Sexual Identity We are born sexual beings Taboos, mores. Laws and sexual myths abound! Must be comfortable with personal sexual identity Sexual Identity - recognition of ourselves as sexual creatures Genetic / environmental / physiological factors

27 XX a Female / XY a Male Gonads - reproductive organs / male (testes) or female (ovaries) Puberty - sexual maturation Pituitary Gland - controls release of hormones from gonads Secondary sex characteristics - associated with gender but not reproduction

28 Gender Identity and Roles Gender - sense of Masculinity or Femininity / your society & cultureGender - sense of Masculinity or Femininity / your society & culture Gender Roles / stereotypes - generalization to how males and females should express their genderGender Roles / stereotypes - generalization to how males and females should express their gender Androgyny - male and female traits in same personAndrogyny - male and female traits in same person

29 Gender Identity and Roles Socialization - society identifies behaviours for it’s membersSocialization - society identifies behaviours for it’s members information from parents, schools, friends, popular culture, tradition…...information from parents, schools, friends, popular culture, tradition…...

30 Reproductive Anatomy and Physiology External Female Genitals Vulva - external genitalia Labia Minora - “Inner lips”or folds of tissues Labia Majora - “Outer Lips”or folds of tissues covering sexual organs Clitoris - pea-sized nodule on top of the LM Urethral opening - urination

31 External Female Genitals Vagina - passage leading from vulva to uterusVagina - passage leading from vulva to uterus Hymen - thin tissue covering the vaginal openingHymen - thin tissue covering the vaginal opening Perineum - tissue extending from vulva to anusPerineum - tissue extending from vulva to anus

32 Internal Female Genitals Uterus (womb) - hollow area to contain foetusUterus (womb) - hollow area to contain foetus Endometrium - uterine liningEndometrium - uterine lining Cervix - lower end of uterusCervix - lower end of uterus Ovaries - houses developing eggs and produces hormonesOvaries - houses developing eggs and produces hormones Fallopian Tubes - tubes extending from ovaries to uterusFallopian Tubes - tubes extending from ovaries to uterus

33 Onset of Puberty and the Menstrual Cycle Puberty - maturation of female and male reproduction systems Pituitary Gland (in brain) - controls reproduction system Hypothalamus - work with pituitary gland Gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) - PG to release Gonadotropins

34 Onset of Puberty and the Menstrual Cycle Follicle - stimulating hormone (FSH) - signals ovaries to release egg / produces estrogen Luteinizing hormone (LH) - signals the release of egg + produce progesterone Estrogens - hormones that control menstrual cycle Progesterone - helps develop the endometrium

35 Onset of Puberty and the Menstrual Cycle Menarche - first menstrual period Ovarian Follicles (egg sacs) where individual eggs develop Ovulation - egg passes through ovarian wall Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (HCG) - if egg is fertilized increases levels of estrogen and progesterone Menopause - permanent cessation of menstruation

36 Male Reproductive Anatomy and Physiology External Male Genitals - penis and scrotum Penis - male sexual organ to release sperm into vagina Scrotum - sac of tissues that encloses the testes

37 Male Reproductive Anatomy and Physiology Internal Male genitals - testes, epididymides, vasa deferentia, ejaculatory ducts, urethra and accessory glandsInternal Male genitals - testes, epididymides, vasa deferentia, ejaculatory ducts, urethra and accessory glands Accessory glands - seminal vesicles, prostrate gland and Cowper’s gland Accessory glands - seminal vesicles, prostrate gland and Cowper’s gland Ejaculation - propulsion of semen from the penisEjaculation - propulsion of semen from the penis

38 Male Reproductive Anatomy and Physiology Testes - Two Organs, located in the scrotum, manufacture sperm and produce hormonesTestes - Two Organs, located in the scrotum, manufacture sperm and produce hormones Testosterone - male sex hormoneTestosterone - male sex hormone Spermatogenesis - development of spermSpermatogenesis - development of sperm Epididymis - place for sperm maturationEpididymis - place for sperm maturation

39 Male Reproductive Anatomy and Physiology Vas deferens - tube transports sperm to penisVas deferens - tube transports sperm to penis Seminal vesicles storage for sperm and nutrient fluids addedSeminal vesicles storage for sperm and nutrient fluids added Semen - fluid comprised of sperm + nutrientsSemen - fluid comprised of sperm + nutrients Prostrate gland - secretes nutrients and neutralizing fluidsProstrate gland - secretes nutrients and neutralizing fluids Foreskin - flap covering penis / remove during circumcisionForeskin - flap covering penis / remove during circumcision

40 Expressing Your Sexuality Human Sexual Response - male and female common stages excitement/arousal plateau orgasm resolution refractory period (some males) Vasoconstriction - engorgement of sexual organs with blood

41 Sexual Orientation - attraction and interest in members of the opposite sex, same sex, both sexes in emotional, social and sexual situations Heterosexual - attraction and sexual preference for the opposite sex Homosexual - same sex preferences and attraction Bisexual - both sexes Homophobia - irrational hatred and fear of homosexuality and homosexuals

42 Sexual Expression What are your Options? Celibacy - a person not involved in sexual relationships Autoerotic behaviours - sexual self-stimulation Sexual Fantasies - sexually arousing thoughts and dreams Masturbation - self-stimulation of genitals Erogenous zones - areas of the body both male and female that when touched create sexual stimulation

43 Sexual Expression Cunnilingus - oral stimulation of the female genitalsCunnilingus - oral stimulation of the female genitals Fellatio - oral stimulation of male’s genitalsFellatio - oral stimulation of male’s genitals Anal Intercourse insertion of the penis into the anusAnal Intercourse insertion of the penis into the anus

44 Sexual Expression Vaginal Intercourse - insertion of penis into the vaginaVaginal Intercourse - insertion of penis into the vagina Variant Sexual Behaviour - sexual behaviours not commonly practicedVariant Sexual Behaviour - sexual behaviours not commonly practiced

45 Difficulties that Can Hinder Sexual Functioning Sexual Dysfunction - problems preventing sexual satisfactionSexual Dysfunction - problems preventing sexual satisfaction Inhibited Sexual Desire - lack of interest in sexual behaviourInhibited Sexual Desire - lack of interest in sexual behaviour Sexual Aversion Disorders - sexual phobias/ anxieties about sexual contactSexual Aversion Disorders - sexual phobias/ anxieties about sexual contact

46 Difficulties that Can Hinder Sexual Functioning Erectile Dysfunction - “AKA” impotence: a difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection during intercourseErectile Dysfunction - “AKA” impotence: a difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection during intercourse Premature Ejaculation - ejaculation occurs just prior to or immediately following penetration of the vaginaPremature Ejaculation - ejaculation occurs just prior to or immediately following penetration of the vagina Retarded Ejaculation -inability to ejaculate once penis is erectRetarded Ejaculation -inability to ejaculate once penis is erect

47 Difficulties that Can Hinder Sexual Functioning Preorgasmic - state of never achieving an orgasmPreorgasmic - state of never achieving an orgasm Dyspareunia - pain experiences by women during intercourseDyspareunia - pain experiences by women during intercourse Vaginismus - vaginal muscles contract so forcefully that penetration cannot be accomplishedVaginismus - vaginal muscles contract so forcefully that penetration cannot be accomplished


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