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CH. 7 PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND SEXUALITY PERSONAL COMMUNICATIONS Each of us chooses what we want others to know about us and things we don’t. Being open.

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Presentation on theme: "CH. 7 PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND SEXUALITY PERSONAL COMMUNICATIONS Each of us chooses what we want others to know about us and things we don’t. Being open."— Presentation transcript:

1 CH. 7 PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND SEXUALITY PERSONAL COMMUNICATIONS Each of us chooses what we want others to know about us and things we don’t. Being open to others increases our own self-knowledge and understanding.Each of us chooses what we want others to know about us and things we don’t. Being open to others increases our own self-knowledge and understanding. –Communicating Feelings – emotion not easy to convey. –Nonverbal Communication - More than 90% of communication may be nonverbal. In some cultures establishing eye contact means hostility in others it conveys friendliness.

2 FORMING RELATIONSHIPS 1.I, Myself, and Me –M–M–M–Must love yourself before loving others –S–S–S–Self esteem is essential in a relationship 2.F riendships – “the most holy bond of society” “A friend is one who knows you as you are, Understands where you’ve been, Accepts who you’ve become, And still gently invites you to grow.”

3 FRIENDSHIPS (con’t) Can men and women be friends, without sex?Can men and women be friends, without sex? For men, a friendship with a woman offers support and nurturance, they like talking and relating to women.For men, a friendship with a woman offers support and nurturance, they like talking and relating to women. For women, view it as light hearted and casual, more joking, less fear of hurt feelings. Find out what guys really think.For women, view it as light hearted and casual, more joking, less fear of hurt feelings. Find out what guys really think.

4 3. Dating Any occasion during which two people share their time. (not in book)Any occasion during which two people share their time. (not in book) Find out a lot about yourself and your dateFind out a lot about yourself and your date Should you stay together? p. 174Should you stay together? p. 174 Do’s and Don’ts with Online Flirting and Dating p. 174Do’s and Don’ts with Online Flirting and Dating p. 174

5 4. Hooking Up A sexual encounter, but not really together as in a relationship. (friends with benefits)A sexual encounter, but not really together as in a relationship. (friends with benefits) Building Healthy Relationships Characteristics p. 175Building Healthy Relationships Characteristics p. 175 Self-Disclosure is key in a relationship.Self-Disclosure is key in a relationship. Assessing A Relationship p. 175Assessing A Relationship p. 175

6 DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS Dysfunctional - a relationship that doesn’t promote healthy communication, honesty, and intimacy.Dysfunctional - a relationship that doesn’t promote healthy communication, honesty, and intimacy. Toxic relationship – either person is made to feel worthless or incompetent.Toxic relationship – either person is made to feel worthless or incompetent. Do you have friends/family that don’t make you feel good about yourself and make degrading comments?Do you have friends/family that don’t make you feel good about yourself and make degrading comments? Coping with an Unhealthy Relationship p. 176Coping with an Unhealthy Relationship p. 176

7 1.Emotional abuse can be far lasting than any other form of abuse whether in a relationship, friend or family member. 2.Codependency – “any maladaptive behaviors learned by family members in order to survive great emotional pain and stress, such as an addiction, chronic mental or physical illness, and abuse.” i.e. relationship addiction Enabling – allowing or giving permission to continue the unwanted behavior.Enabling – allowing or giving permission to continue the unwanted behavior.

8 INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS Intimacy – the open, trusting sharing of close, confidential thoughts and feelings. Comes from the Latin “within”. 1.What Attracts 2 People to Each Other? –Chemistry, sexual attraction, beauty? –Characterized by emotional arousal, reciprocal liking, and mutual sexual desire. 2.Romantic Love – Sternberg’s Love Triangle 3 Components are Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment.

9 Fig. 7-2, p. 170 Liking (intimacy alone) Intimacy Romantic love (intimacy + passion) Companionate love (intimacy + commitment) Consummate love (intimacy + passion + commitment) PassionCommitment Infatuation (passion alone) Empty love (commitment alone) Fatuous love (passion + commitment)

10 STERNBERG’S LOVE TRIANGLE TYPES OF LOVE INTIMACY PASSION COMMITMENT LIKING X ROMANTIC LOVE X X INFATUATION X EMPTY LOVE X COMPANIONATE X X FATUOUS LOVE X X CONSUMMATE X X X

11 3. Mature Love p. 170 –Sexual excitement, tenderness, commitment, and passion like you’ve never had before; becoming one with your partner. Also involves companionate love. 4. When Love Ends –Why? Sense of dissatisfaction or unhappiness –How do you break up? Why is it so hard? –Better to break up and be sad than to stay a relationship that is creating an unhealthy atmosphere.

12 COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS 1. Cohabitation – “living together” 5 million are cohabiting in the U.S. Most are heterosexual; 40% have children. Asians and non-Hispanic white couples are the least likely to cohabit.Asians and non-Hispanic white couples are the least likely to cohabit. 2.Domestic Partners – term for legal rights. Gaining legal recognition. Some cities have domestic partnership laws to grant spousal rights like insurance benefits. Canada has recognized marriages between homosexual partners as legitimate unions.

13 3. Long-Term Same-Sex Relationships Researchers have studied couples who have been together for 20 years. (Comparable to heterosexual relationships)

14 4. Marriage 9 in 10 people marry, about half divorce after 7-8 yrs.9 in 10 people marry, about half divorce after 7-8 yrs. We still have arranged marriages in some cultures like Asians.We still have arranged marriages in some cultures like Asians. Preparing for marriage – AZ and LS must get premarital counseling.Preparing for marriage – AZ and LS must get premarital counseling. Crucial ingredients for commitment: shared values, willingness to change, willingness to tolerate flaws, match in religious beliefs, the ability to communicate effectively.Crucial ingredients for commitment: shared values, willingness to change, willingness to tolerate flaws, match in religious beliefs, the ability to communicate effectively.

15 Premarital Assessments –Realistic expectations –Personality Issues –Communication –Conflict Resolution –Financial Management –Leisure Activities –Sex –Children –Family and Friends –Religious Orientation –Belief in human equality (egalitarian)

16 Same-Sex Marriage Spain, Canada, Netherlands and Belgium legalized same-sex marriage.Spain, Canada, Netherlands and Belgium legalized same-sex marriage. United States only Massachusetts and CA recognizes same-sex marriages.United States only Massachusetts and CA recognizes same-sex marriages.

17 5.Marriage and Health Married people are healthier than divorced, widowed, never-married or cohabiting. One health hazard – weight gain! 6.Divorce Divorce rate is almost 50%. Improving your odds? – college ed, income of 50k or higher, 25 yrs. or +, not having baby during the first 7 months, intact family, and some religious affiliation.

18 FAMILY TIES 1. Diversity Within Families 3 of every 10 households consist of blended families; families who bring other children into their new household. What are half brothers or sisters? Step?3 of every 10 households consist of blended families; families who bring other children into their new household. What are half brothers or sisters? Step? Multi-generational families make up 3.7% householdsMulti-generational families make up 3.7% households 2. Working Parents – 70% both parents working 3. Single Parents – 35% of births, about 28% of children under 18 live with 1 parent. END

19 SEXUAL HEALTH DEFINITIONS Endocrine System – the group of organs that produce hormones. Except for the sex organs, males and females have identical endocrine sys.Endocrine System – the group of organs that produce hormones. Except for the sex organs, males and females have identical endocrine sys. Gonads – the structures that produce the future reproductive cells of an individual. Testes for men, ovaries for women.Gonads – the structures that produce the future reproductive cells of an individual. Testes for men, ovaries for women.

20 Estrogen and Progesterone – women hormonesEstrogen and Progesterone – women hormones Testosterone – male hormoneTestosterone – male hormone Both have small amounts of hormones of the opposite sex. Estrogen is crucial to male fertility and sperm their “reproductive punch”.Both have small amounts of hormones of the opposite sex. Estrogen is crucial to male fertility and sperm their “reproductive punch”. WHY ARE GIRLS STARTING MENARCHE (first menstruation) EARLIER EVEN BY 6 YRS. OLD. IN 1900 GIRLS DIDN’T START UNTIL 15.!!!!WHY ARE GIRLS STARTING MENARCHE (first menstruation) EARLIER EVEN BY 6 YRS. OLD. IN 1900 GIRLS DIDN’T START UNTIL 15.!!!!

21 WOMEN’S SEXUAL HEALTH Female Sexual Anatomy Labia – lips outside of genital areaLabia – lips outside of genital area Clitoris – most sensitive organClitoris – most sensitive organ Urethra – opening for urineUrethra – opening for urine Vagina – the canal that leads to the primary internal organsVagina – the canal that leads to the primary internal organs Cervix – opening to the wombCervix – opening to the womb Uterus – the womb, fetus is formedUterus – the womb, fetus is formed Ovaries – contain ova or eggsOvaries – contain ova or eggs Fallopian tubes – canals that transport ova from the ovaries to the uterusFallopian tubes – canals that transport ova from the ovaries to the uterus

22 Fig. 7-3a, p. 176 (a) External structure Mons pubis Labia majora Clitoris Urethra Vaginal opening Labia minoraPerineum Anus

23 Fig. 7-3b, p. 176 (b) Internal structure Fallopian tube (oviduct) Fimbriae Endometrium Ovary Uterus (womb) Cervix Pubic bone and mons pubis Rectum Bladder Vagina Urethra Perineum Anus Clitoris Labia majora Vaginal opening Labia minora

24 MEN’S SEXUAL HEALTH Male Sexual Anatomy Penis – sex and urinationPenis – sex and urination Scrotum – pouch that contains the testesScrotum – pouch that contains the testes Testicles – 2 inside the scrotum that mfg. SpermTesticles – 2 inside the scrotum that mfg. Sperm Epididymis – coiled tubes that hold immature spermEpididymis – coiled tubes that hold immature sperm Urethra – opening at head of penis for urineUrethra – opening at head of penis for urine Vas Deferens – 2 tubes that carry sperm into the urethraVas Deferens – 2 tubes that carry sperm into the urethra Prostate Gland – produces some of the seminal fluid for ejaculationProstate Gland – produces some of the seminal fluid for ejaculation Cowper’s glands – 2 pea sized, on either side of the urethra, milky substance appears as a droplet at the tip of the penis. Not semen although it occasionally contains sperm.Cowper’s glands – 2 pea sized, on either side of the urethra, milky substance appears as a droplet at the tip of the penis. Not semen although it occasionally contains sperm.

25 Fig. 7-5a, p. 180 A. External structure Penis Testes (in scrotum) Glans Opening of urethra Circumcised Uncircumcised

26 Fig. 7-5b, p. 180 B. Internal structure Urinary bladder Vertebral column Pubic bone Seminal vesicle Rectum Vas deferens Ejaculatory duct Prostate gland Penis Anus Spongy bodies of erectile tissue Cowper’s gland Glans penis Urethra Epididymis Scrotum Testis

27 HOW MANY FLUIDS ARE THERE IN 1 EJACULATION? 4 (semen, seminal vesicles, prostate gland, cowpers gland).4 (semen, seminal vesicles, prostate gland, cowpers gland). Circumcision – surgical removal of the foreskin on the tip of the penisCircumcision – surgical removal of the foreskin on the tip of the penis About 60% undergo, circumcision.About 60% undergo, circumcision. Boys who are not circumcised are 4x as likely to develop urinary tract infections in their first year, but only happens in 1% of circumcised boys.Boys who are not circumcised are 4x as likely to develop urinary tract infections in their first year, but only happens in 1% of circumcised boys.

28 RESPONSIBLE SEXUALITY Talking about sex; p 190 Have the person get a test for STD’s. Saying “NO” to Sex p Creating a Sexually Healthy Relationship p Sex on Campus About 68% have had intercourse 2.The Sex Life of American Adults Average adult 1x/week.

29 3.Why People Have Sex AttractionAttraction PleasurePleasure LoveLove DesireDesire CuriosityCuriosity CelebrationCelebration OpportunityOpportunity Depth of relationshipDepth of relationship SpontaneousSpontaneous

30 Sexual Diversity Sexual Orientation – attraction toward same sex, or opposite sex.Sexual Orientation – attraction toward same sex, or opposite sex. Bisexuality – Freud argued that we all start off this way, attracted to both sexes, but then choose.Bisexuality – Freud argued that we all start off this way, attracted to both sexes, but then choose. 1.Bisexuality – sexual attraction to both males and females can develop at any point in one’s life. Some cultures boys perform oral sex on each other as a rite of passage into manhood. 7-9 million men who are married to women who secretly engage in sex with men. Fear of HIV. 2.Homosexuality – social, emotional, and sexual attraction to members of the same sex.

31 Sexual Diversity (con’t) 3.Heterosexual – primary sexual orientation toward members of opposite sex. 4.Transgenderism and Transsexuality – having a gender identity opposite to one’s biological sex. Transsexuals or transgenders feel that they are trapped in the body of the wrong gender. 5.Intersex or Middlesex – having biological genitalia of both sexes or an absence of only one biological genitalia.

32 Sexual Activity 1.Celibacy – abstention from sexual activity, can be partial or complete, permanent or temporary. Why? Careers, fear of pregnancy or STD’s. 2.Fantasy – thinking of sexual desires and pleasures and/or acting them out. 3.Abstinence – “refraining from sexual activities which involve vaginal, anal, and oral intercourse.” Still fool around????? Religious beliefs, fear of pregnancy or STD’s. What does the term ‘virgin’ mean to you? 4.Masturbation – manual self-stimulation of the genitals, often resulting in orgasm. (Self-Pleasuring) 5.X-Rated Websites - Men out rate women 6 to 1.

33 5. Outercourse – non-penetrative, no oral sex, only kissing, hugging, and touching. 6. Intercourse – ‘coitus’ – penetration of the vagina by the penis. 7. Oral Sex – cunnilingus – oral stimulation of women’s genitals and fellatio – oral stimulation of male genitals. 8. Anal Sex – 25% of adults have experienced it.

34 Sexual Response (not in book) 1.Excitement phase 2.Plateau phase 3.Orgasmic phase 4.Resolution phase – refractory period, men incapable of another orgasm.


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