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Intimacy: Breaking Down Walls of Defense  Main Points from Last Time  Questions answered.

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Presentation on theme: "Intimacy: Breaking Down Walls of Defense  Main Points from Last Time  Questions answered."— Presentation transcript:

1 Intimacy: Breaking Down Walls of Defense  Main Points from Last Time  Questions answered

2 Ephesians 5: As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

3 Principle Applied Oneness suggests something special found nowhere else in relationships except in marriage- possible through love and respect which creates safety… which provides a foundation for intimacy

4 I. What is Intimacy?

5 What is Intimacy? How Do We Become One? Oneness occurs as a process of growth over time… a process we can help develop… and hinder… true oneness does not occur suddenly because of one act

6 Pathway to Intimacy (True Oneness) Physical EmotionalSpiritual

7 II. Necessary Prerequisites of Intimacy

8 Necessary Prerequisites to Intimacy  “Two-ness”- Complementing not Completing  Being Adult  Taking Responsibility & Ownership of Yourself

9 A Complete Person...  Connects Emotionally  Is Vulnerable & Shares Feelings  Accepts Imperfections with Grace  Thinks for Oneself- Expresses Opinions  Takes Risks  Not Controlled by External/Internal Factors  Learns & Grows  Is Spiritual, Sexual, and Intellectual  Has Appropriate Sense of Power & Assertiveness  Can Say No

10 An Adult...  Takes Responsibility (for feelings, actions, choices, thoughts, values, love)  Requires Ownership- for self & other  Values Treasures- of self & other  Understands that “You are not me”  Sees the Other as a Person- Not Object  Allows the Other’s Experience  Allows the Other to be Different  Respects Freedom- of space

11 III. What are the necessary ingredients for oneness?

12 Key Ingredients to Intimacy  Commitment  Being transparent/open (James 5:16- “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed”)  Truly “knowing” each other (thoughts, desires, dreams, shared experiences)  Emotional Closeness, Spiritual Closeness, Physical Closeness… in Balance (all takes place as a process over time)

13 IV. What Stops Intimacy?

14 Intimacy Blockers  Defenses

15 Defenses  Denial  Repression  Suppression  Dissociation  Conversion  Rationalization  Intellectualization  Projection  others

16 Intimacy Blockers  Defenses  Learned Behavior  Relationship Wounds Unhealed

17 V. How Can We Create Intimacy?

18 We give up certain individual rights and freedoms for the sake of intimacy

19 Creating Greater Intimacy  Learning from the therapy relationship  Learning from the process of therapy

20 The Process of Therapy

21 Intimacy Grows When:  We risk greater openness  We learn to be emotionally present  We develop a high degree of caring  We have a climate of trust built on fidelity and continuity  We Feel Safe!

22 Safety is the Core Principle in Creating Intimacy

23 Ephesians 5: As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

24 Practical Application Look at yourself- are you an “adult”? Are you a “complete” person? Discuss with your spouse how you can create safety in your marriage


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