The Wheel Building and developing a relationship does not happen automatically when two people meet. The relationship grows and flourishes as the people come together and relate to each other. Thus building a relationship with another person is basically the process of developing feelings and interactions between the two of you.
The Wheel Contains four spokes which represent the four steps of relationship building. Rapport Self-revelation Mutual dependency Need fulfillment Take the following notes inside each spoke…
Rapport Feeling you get when you are at ease with another person Good rapport leads to more interactions Poor rapport makes it unlikely that you will want to continue the relationship
Self-revelation As you build rapport you open up to that person and tell more about yourself…called self-revelation Revealing feelings, experience, and attitudes
Mutual dependency You learn each other’s habits You learn to depend on the other person to talk and laugh with, go places with or rely on
Needs fulfillment You begin to get respect, confidence and love or affection from the relationship If you both fulfill each others needs the relationship grows
Brainstorm List of all the possible personal needs that you think could be met through relationships with others…
Going backwards The wheel can also move in the opposite direction, causing the destruction of the relationship Sometimes the rapport you feel with someone leads to self-revelation that causes arguments or bad feelings. This is likely to cause less self- revelation. In turn, you rapport will decrease and fewer of your needs will be met.
Draw the ladder Draw the ladder on the back of your page
Intimacy ladder People climb the ladder as they build relationships with others. Each rung on the ladder describes one way of being close, or intimate, with another person.
Intellectual intimacy Conversation, share ideas and thoughts Keep it non-personal
Physical intimacy Comfortable with closeness and may touch another person Slap on the back, holding hands, etc. (doesn’t have to be sexual)
Emotional intimacy To be completely natural and show feelings Get rid of defenses Receive understanding, affection and support from each other Trust each other and share most private feelings and ideas
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