5 Where We’re Going The lies The sexual pressure Gender confusion Teens who already identify themselves as gay, lesbian, biShowing grace and compassion to strugglers and those who love them
6 The Lies They Hear 1. Homosexuality is normal and healthy It’s neither The fact that it occurs (2%) doesn’t make it normalBiology and psychology of male-female relationshipsLike the red light on the dashboard of a car
7 The Lies They Hear Acting on same-sex attractions is not healthy At far greater risk for:sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDSalcoholism and drug abusedepressionemotionally exhausting relationshipsa shortened lifespan
8 The Lies They Hear2. If you experience same-sex attraction, that means you’re gay or lesbianUnmet, legitimate, God-given needs for attention, affection and approvalCrushes on other people is a normal part of the transition from child to adult
9 Is It a Sin to Be Gay? “Gay” is an invented term Same sex desires = same-sex temptationsIt is not a sin to be tempted; it’s a sin to act on temptationsGod to Cain: “. . .sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.“ –Gen. 4:7
10 The Lies They Hear 3. Since you were born that way, you can't change No scientific evidence of a genetic cause for homosexualityThousands of people report significant change in their same-sex attractionsChange IS possible“. . .And such were some of you.” 1 Cor. 6:11
11 The Lies They Hear4. Embrace and celebrate your gay identity because gay life is cool.Heartbreaking stories of the truth:intense and difficult relationshipsrelational patterns of disillusionment and breakupsphysical and emotional unhealthinesscountless people have said they wished they never entered the gay community in the first place, but it’s hard to leave.
12 Sexual Pressure Sex-saturated culture Sex is just part of having a social lifeNever hear the heart-wrenching consequences of being sexually activeAgenda of sexual freedom pushing the normalization of homosexualityDecide early if you’re gay, straight or bi
13 Sexual PressureMinnesota study:Age 12: One-fourth are unsure of their sexual orientationAge 17:5% are unsureSame-sex attractions: 4.5%Same-sex fantasies: 2.6%Same-sex behavior: 1%
14 “[W]ithout any intervention whatsoever, three out of four boys who think they’re gay at age 16 aren’t by 25. So if we’re going to treat homosexuality as a state, 75% of ‘gays’ become ‘non-gay’ spontaneously. That’s a statement which I consider ludicrous, but if you accept this tacit proposition—that being gay is an actual state, like being short or being tall, black or white—then in three out of four people that condition changes itself spontaneously. . . That’s with no outside intervention, just the natural processes of development.” —Dr. Jeffrey Satinover
15 Sexual Pressure “It’s too soon to ‘declare a major’ in your sexuality. You don’t have to choose a college major or a career track this early.You don’t have to make a decision about your sexuality either.”
16 Sexual Pressure [Lie] Experiment: it’s the only way you can know Teenage sexual behavior can have lifelong consequencesTheir brains don’t finish developing until age 25Wise decision-making comes lastKnow the sexual pressures and stand against them
17 Gender Insecurity Andy Comiskey (Desert Streams Ministries) Gender spectrumAge 10: same-sex attraction beginsEmotionalNon-sexualInvoluntaryAttach to same-sex before we can attach to opposite sex
18 Gender InsecuritySome don’t feel secure in their masculinity or femininityLack of affirmation from parents and/or peersGod gives us needs for “3 A’s”: attention, approval and affectionIf unmet, this “hole in their heart” gets sexualized at pubertyKids believe hurtful, false labels
19 Gender InsecurityKids who are not secure in their gender do NOT need to be pointed to gay groups at school or onlineNeed to be affirmed and encouraged to develop their masculinity and femininityNeed to see their gender as goodNeed other kids to reach out and make them feel one of the guys/girlsNeed to finish growing up
20 When Students Self-identify as Gay or Lesbian Considered coolNormal crushes on peersForming deep and intense attachments, a necessary precursor to marriageEmotional dependencyFriendships that grow needy and possessiveNeed to belong
21 When Students Self-identify as Gay or Lesbian Simple curiosityOthers have labeled them: trying it onSome same-sex attraction is actually jealousy:PopularityGood looksWinsome personalityStrong physiqueThis is an area where they need to develop confidence, not call themselves gay or lesbian!
22 When Students Self-identify as Gay or Lesbian Labels such as “gay” and “lesbian” and “homo” and “dyke” are incredibly hurtfulIt’s easy for those who are slapped with those labels to believe them.God doesn’t call anyone homosexual or lesbian; those labels are man’s invention, not biblical truth.It is essential for teens to know who they are in God’s sight:BelovedPreciousStamped with the imprint of His acceptance and delight.
23 Where do Same-Sex Attractions Come From? Why some guys are attracted to other guysUnmet need for connection with dadUnmet need for connection with other boysDisconnection with his masculinity1/3 to 1/2 - sexual abuse
24 Where do Same-Sex Attractions Come From? Why some girls are attracted to other girlsUnmet need for connection with momUnmet need for connection with other girls (for some)Disconnection with her femininityAt least 2/3 - sexual abuseThey act as if they were (“lesbian chic”), and then a habit develops
25 Showing Grace to Strugglers Don’t address the issue of homosexuality head-on. Instead, talk about underlying issues.Strugglers wrestle with feelings of inferiority, rejection, shame and fearBe indirect in discussing or asking questions aboutDisconnect with parentsDisconnect and ridicule of peersDepression/sadness
26 Showing Grace to Strugglers Don’t use or allow labelsHurtful, false, restrictingTell them God didn’t make them gayBorn English speakers? No, language speakers“Don’t keep it a secret!”Offer a safe place to process feelings without being shamed or condemnedLiving Hope:
27 Showing Grace to Strugglers Being real vs. being fakeGetting real = who God made them to be, not accepting false, man-made labelsHelp them embrace their identity in Christ as beloved, special, accepted, celebrated.Healing happens in healthy same-sex relationshipsFreetobeme.comBecomingreal.org
28 Showing Grace to Strugglers Teaching non-strugglers understanding:No one chooses to have same-sex desiresHaving crushes and strong feelings is part of adolescence. It doesn’t mean someone is gay.Be compassionate. You don’t know who struggles or loves someone who does.Be respectful. No name-calling. Strike “That’s so gay” from vocabulary.
29 Jesus loves people who struggle with same-sex attraction