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Helping Teens Understand Homosexuality Sue Bohlin Probe Ministries www.probe.org.

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Presentation on theme: "Helping Teens Understand Homosexuality Sue Bohlin Probe Ministries www.probe.org."— Presentation transcript:

1 Helping Teens Understand Homosexuality Sue Bohlin Probe Ministries

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5 Where We’re Going The lies The sexual pressure Gender confusion Teens who already identify themselves as gay, lesbian, bi Showing grace and compassion to strugglers and those who love them

6 The Lies They Hear 1. Homosexuality is normal and healthy It’s neither The fact that it occurs (2%) doesn’t make it normal Biology and psychology of male- female relationships Like the red light on the dashboard of a car

7 The Lies They Hear Acting on same-sex attractions is not healthy At far greater risk for: –sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS –alcoholism and drug abuse –depression –emotionally exhausting relationships –a shortened lifespan

8 The Lies They Hear 2. If you experience same-sex attraction, that means you’re gay or lesbian Unmet, legitimate, God-given needs for attention, affection and approval Crushes on other people is a normal part of the transition from child to adult

9 Is It a Sin to Be Gay? “Gay” is an invented term Same sex desires = same-sex temptations It is not a sin to be tempted; it’s a sin to act on temptations God to Cain: “...sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.“ –Gen. 4:7

10 The Lies They Hear 3. Since you were born that way, you can't change No scientific evidence of a genetic cause for homosexuality Thousands of people report significant change in their same-sex attractions Change IS possible “...And such were some of you.” 1 Cor. 6:11

11 The Lies They Hear 4. Embrace and celebrate your gay identity because gay life is cool. Heartbreaking stories of the truth: intense and difficult relationships relational patterns of disillusionment and breakups physical and emotional unhealthiness countless people have said they wished they never entered the gay community in the first place, but it’s hard to leave.

12 Sexual Pressure Sex-saturated culture Sex is just part of having a social life Never hear the heart-wrenching consequences of being sexually active Agenda of sexual freedom pushing the normalization of homosexuality Decide early if you’re gay, straight or bi

13 Sexual Pressure Minnesota study: Age 12: One-fourth are unsure of their sexual orientation Age 17: 5% are unsure Same-sex attractions: 4.5% Same-sex fantasies: 2.6% Same-sex behavior: 1%

14 “[W]ithout any intervention whatsoever, three out of four boys who think they’re gay at age 16 aren’t by 25. So if we’re going to treat homosexuality as a state, 75% of ‘gays’ become ‘non-gay’ spontaneously. That’s a statement which I consider ludicrous, but if you accept this tacit proposition—that being gay is an actual state, like being short or being tall, black or white—then in three out of four people that condition changes itself spontaneously... That’s with no outside intervention, just the natural processes of development.” — Dr. Jeffrey Satinover

15 Sexual Pressure “It’s too soon to ‘declare a major’ in your sexuality. You don’t have to choose a college major or a career track this early. You don’t have to make a decision about your sexuality either.”

16 Sexual Pressure [Lie] Experiment: it’s the only way you can know Teenage sexual behavior can have lifelong consequences Their brains don’t finish developing until age 25 Wise decision-making comes last Know the sexual pressures and stand against them

17 Gender Insecurity Andy Comiskey (Desert Streams Ministries) Gender spectrum Age 10: same-sex attraction begins –Emotional –Non-sexual –Involuntary Attach to same-sex before we can attach to opposite sex

18 Gender Insecurity Some don’t feel secure in their masculinity or femininity Lack of affirmation from parents and/or peers God gives us needs for “3 A’s”: attention, approval and affection If unmet, this “hole in their heart” gets sexualized at puberty Kids believe hurtful, false labels

19 Gender Insecurity Kids who are not secure in their gender do NOT need to be pointed to gay groups at school or online Need to be affirmed and encouraged to develop their masculinity and femininity Need to see their gender as good Need other kids to reach out and make them feel one of the guys/girls Need to finish growing up

20 When Students Self-identify as Gay or Lesbian Considered cool Normal crushes on peers –Forming deep and intense attachments, a necessary precursor to marriage Emotional dependency –Friendships that grow needy and possessive Need to belong

21 When Students Self-identify as Gay or Lesbian Simple curiosity Others have labeled them: trying it on Some same-sex attraction is actually jealousy: –Popularity –Good looks –Winsome personality –Strong physique This is an area where they need to develop confidence, not call themselves gay or lesbian!

22 When Students Self-identify as Gay or Lesbian Labels such as “gay” and “lesbian” and “homo” and “dyke” are incredibly hurtful It’s easy for those who are slapped with those labels to believe them. God doesn’t call anyone homosexual or lesbian; those labels are man’s invention, not biblical truth. It is essential for teens to know who they are in God’s sight: –Beloved –Precious –Stamped with the imprint of His acceptance and delight.

23 Where do Same-Sex Attractions Come From? Why some guys are attracted to other guys –Unmet need for connection with dad –Unmet need for connection with other boys –Disconnection with his masculinity –1/3 to 1/2 - sexual abuse

24 Where do Same-Sex Attractions Come From? Why some girls are attracted to other girls –Unmet need for connection with mom –Unmet need for connection with other girls (for some) –Disconnection with her femininity –At least 2/3 - sexual abuse –They act as if they were (“lesbian chic”), and then a habit develops

25 Showing Grace to Strugglers Don’t address the issue of homosexuality head-on. Instead, talk about underlying issues. –Strugglers wrestle with feelings of inferiority, rejection, shame and fear –Be indirect in discussing or asking questions about Disconnect with parents Disconnect and ridicule of peers Depression/sadness

26 Showing Grace to Strugglers Don’t use or allow labels –Hurtful, false, restricting Tell them God didn’t make them gay –Born English speakers? No, language speakers “Don’t keep it a secret!” Offer a safe place to process feelings without being shamed or condemned Living Hope:

27 Showing Grace to Strugglers Being real vs. being fake Getting real = who God made them to be, not accepting false, man-made labels Help them embrace their identity in Christ as beloved, special, accepted, celebrated. Healing happens in healthy same- sex relationships Freetobeme.com Becomingreal.org

28 Showing Grace to Strugglers Teaching non-strugglers understanding: –No one chooses to have same-sex desires –Having crushes and strong feelings is part of adolescence. It doesn’t mean someone is gay. –Be compassionate. You don’t know who struggles or loves someone who does. –Be respectful. No name-calling. Strike “That’s so gay” from vocabulary.

29 Jesus loves people who struggle with same-sex attraction


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