1. Helping Teens Understand Homosexuality
Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

5. Where We’re Going The lies The sexual pressure Gender confusion
Teens who already identify themselves as gay, lesbian, bi
Showing grace and compassion to strugglers and those who love them

6. The Lies They Hear 1. Homosexuality is normal and healthy It’s neither
The fact that it occurs (2%) doesn’t make it normal
Biology and psychology of male-female relationships
Like the red light on the dashboard of a car

7. The Lies They Hear Acting on same-sex attractions is not healthy
At far greater risk for:
sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS
alcoholism and drug abuse
depression
emotionally exhausting relationships
a shortened lifespan

8. The Lies They Hear
2. If you experience same-sex attraction, that means you’re gay or lesbian
Unmet, legitimate, God-given needs for attention, affection and approval
Crushes on other people is a normal part of the transition from child to adult

9. Is It a Sin to Be Gay? “Gay” is an invented term
Same sex desires = same-sex temptations
It is not a sin to be tempted; it’s a sin to act on temptations
God to Cain: “. . .sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.“ –Gen. 4:7

10. The Lies They Hear 3. Since you were born that way, you can't change
No scientific evidence of a genetic cause for homosexuality
Thousands of people report significant change in their same-sex attractions
Change IS possible
“. . .And such were some of you.” 1 Cor. 6:11

11. The Lies They Hear
4. Embrace and celebrate your gay identity because gay life is cool.
Heartbreaking stories of the truth:
intense and difficult relationships
relational patterns of disillusionment and breakups
physical and emotional unhealthiness
countless people have said they wished they never entered the gay community in the first place, but it’s hard to leave.

12. Sexual Pressure Sex-saturated culture
Sex is just part of having a social life
Never hear the heart-wrenching consequences of being sexually active
Agenda of sexual freedom pushing the normalization of homosexuality
Decide early if you’re gay, straight or bi

13. Sexual Pressure
Minnesota study:
Age 12: One-fourth are unsure of their sexual orientation
Age 17:
5% are unsure
Same-sex attractions: 4.5%
Same-sex fantasies: 2.6%
Same-sex behavior: 1%

14. “[W]ithout any intervention whatsoever, three out of four boys who think they’re gay at age 16 aren’t by 25. So if we’re going to treat homosexuality as a state, 75% of ‘gays’ become ‘non-gay’ spontaneously. That’s a statement which I consider ludicrous, but if you accept this tacit proposition—that being gay is an actual state, like being short or being tall, black or white—then in three out of four people that condition changes itself spontaneously. . . That’s with no outside intervention, just the natural processes of development.” —Dr. Jeffrey Satinover

15. Sexual Pressure “It’s too soon to ‘declare a major’ in your sexuality.
You don’t have to choose a college major or a career track this early.
You don’t have to make a decision about your sexuality either.”

16. Sexual Pressure [Lie] Experiment: it’s the only way you can know
Teenage sexual behavior can have lifelong consequences
Their brains don’t finish developing until age 25
Wise decision-making comes last
Know the sexual pressures and stand against them

17. Gender Insecurity Andy Comiskey (Desert Streams Ministries)
Gender spectrum
Age 10: same-sex attraction begins
Emotional
Non-sexual
Involuntary
Attach to same-sex before we can attach to opposite sex

18. Gender Insecurity
Some don’t feel secure in their masculinity or femininity
Lack of affirmation from parents and/or peers
God gives us needs for “3 A’s”: attention, approval and affection
If unmet, this “hole in their heart” gets sexualized at puberty
Kids believe hurtful, false labels

19. Gender Insecurity
Kids who are not secure in their gender do NOT need to be pointed to gay groups at school or online
Need to be affirmed and encouraged to develop their masculinity and femininity
Need to see their gender as good
Need other kids to reach out and make them feel one of the guys/girls
Need to finish growing up

20. When Students Self-identify as Gay or Lesbian
Considered cool
Normal crushes on peers
Forming deep and intense attachments, a necessary precursor to marriage
Emotional dependency
Friendships that grow needy and possessive
Need to belong

21. When Students Self-identify as Gay or Lesbian
Simple curiosity
Others have labeled them: trying it on
Some same-sex attraction is actually jealousy:
Popularity
Good looks
Winsome personality
Strong physique
This is an area where they need to develop confidence, not call themselves gay or lesbian!

22. When Students Self-identify as Gay or Lesbian
Labels such as “gay” and “lesbian” and “homo” and “dyke” are incredibly hurtful
It’s easy for those who are slapped with those labels to believe them.
God doesn’t call anyone homosexual or lesbian; those labels are man’s invention, not biblical truth.
It is essential for teens to know who they are in God’s sight:
Beloved
Precious
Stamped with the imprint of His acceptance and delight.

23. Where do Same-Sex Attractions Come From?
Why some guys are attracted to other guys
Unmet need for connection with dad
Unmet need for connection with other boys
Disconnection with his masculinity
1/3 to 1/2 - sexual abuse

24. Where do Same-Sex Attractions Come From?
Why some girls are attracted to other girls
Unmet need for connection with mom
Unmet need for connection with other girls (for some)
Disconnection with her femininity
At least 2/3 - sexual abuse
They act as if they were (“lesbian chic”), and then a habit develops

25. Showing Grace to Strugglers
Don’t address the issue of homosexuality head-on. Instead, talk about underlying issues.
Strugglers wrestle with feelings of inferiority, rejection, shame and fear
Be indirect in discussing or asking questions about
Disconnect with parents
Disconnect and ridicule of peers
Depression/sadness

26. Showing Grace to Strugglers
Don’t use or allow labels
Hurtful, false, restricting
Tell them God didn’t make them gay
Born English speakers? No, language speakers
“Don’t keep it a secret!”
Offer a safe place to process feelings without being shamed or condemned
Living Hope:

27. Showing Grace to Strugglers
Being real vs. being fake
Getting real = who God made them to be, not accepting false, man-made labels
Help them embrace their identity in Christ as beloved, special, accepted, celebrated.
Healing happens in healthy same-sex relationships
Freetobeme.com
Becomingreal.org

28. Showing Grace to Strugglers
Teaching non-strugglers understanding:
No one chooses to have same-sex desires
Having crushes and strong feelings is part of adolescence. It doesn’t mean someone is gay.
Be compassionate. You don’t know who struggles or loves someone who does.
Be respectful. No name-calling. Strike “That’s so gay” from vocabulary.

29. Jesus loves people who struggle with same-sex attraction