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Welcome to Dinner Theater! German Mr. Weiss: Good morning, class.

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Presentation on theme: "Welcome to Dinner Theater! German Mr. Weiss: Good morning, class."— Presentation transcript:


2 Welcome to Dinner Theater!


4 German


6 Mr. Weiss: Good morning, class.

7 All: Good morning, Mr. Weiss!


9 Mr. Weiss: In preparation for tomorrow's exam, I think we should have a quick review, yes?


11 Mr. Weiss: It's for your own good. Now who can tell me a little about Mozart? Ahhh yes, Charlie?

12 Charlie: Oh that's an easy one, Mr. Weiss! Mozart was that guy with the crazy hair...

13 Mr. Weiss: Yes, yes, go on.

14 Charlie: … From the 1980's! I saw him on TV with that guy who makes rap music...what's his name... Um…

15 Child 1: Oh! You mean that piano guy! I saw that video too!

16 Child 2: I love that video! Mozart is awesome! He made the best music videos.


18 Mr.Weiss: Are you serious?!

19 Charlie: See I told you it was an easy question!

20 Mr. Weiss: No...No! How can you mix up the greatest musical composer of all time with... with … FALCO!!!

21 Child 1: Ah, yes!! That's their name! Falco! Such a great musical team.


23 Mr. Weiss: Your generation makes me sick. Since you all obviously have no clue about music! Now open your textbooks to page...


25 Mr. Weiss: What is the meaning of this?

26 Child 3: Willy Wonka just announced that he is giving away tickets to visit his world famous chocolate factory!

27 Mr. Weiss: You don’t say? Class dismissed!!


29 Child 3: But there are only 5 available.

30 Mr. Weiss: Oh.


32 Child 3: And he put them in 5 different chocolate bars! Anyone could find a ticket if they're lucky!

33 Mr. Weiss: Class re-dismissed!!


35 Arabic


37 Augustus: Ugh, when can I eat? Mom, I’m starving!

38 Mrs. Gloop: Augustus Gloop, look at you! You’ve already finished fasting for the month. It’s past sundown and Ramadan will be over in a few minutes.

39 Augustus: Yes, Eid begins soon! In a few minutes I can put my hands on some delicious savory meals!


41 Augustus: I could really go for some hamonado or relleno or even some gulaman …


43 Mrs. Gloop: Augustus, close your mouth and stop drooling! The feast will begin soon. We invited all the family, so stop staring at the hummus and pita bread.

44 Augustus: Whatever!


46 Augustus: Look at how much weight I’ve lost from fasting. It’s such a pain to eat a day’s worth of food before sunrise. Come on, when we can eat?

47 Mrs. Gloop: Augustus! Everyone! The countdown begins in 5, 4 …

48 Everyone: 3, 2, 1 … Eid Mubarak!

49 Augustus: Food! Yum! Lamb! Chicken! Hummus! Pita Bread! Samosa!


51 Mrs. Gloop: Augustus! Let everyone else have some! Augustus!


53 Mrs. Gloop: Augustus, I have a special sweet for you.

54 Augustus: A sweet?


56 Augustus: Is this what I think it is? Mom, are these my favorite Willy Wonka Sweetened Chocolate Covered Dates?


58 Violet: You’re right, Camellia … I really don’t know when I became infatuated with chewing gum and camels. It just sort of happened.

59 Mr. Beauregarde: Violet, have you started packing yet?

60 Violet: No, because I’m not going to live in Saudi Arabia. Why did you try to start a camel business in the U.S.? Why can’t I stay here? This is my life!

61 Mr. Beauregarde: You know why. Where will you live? Who will take care of you? All of your family is in Saudi Arabia.

62 Violet: No, Camellia is my family. How will Camellia live in Saudi Arabia with all those deserts?

63 You know that she has delicate feet. Plus, my camel racing career here will be OVER!! This is SOOO unfair!!

64 Mr. Beauregarde: Violet, life is unfair.

65 Violet: But dad, I can try to live off of my camel racing prize money. I’ll get sponsors!

66 Mr. Beauregarde: Who would want to sponsor a camel in the United States?

67 Violet: If mom were alive, she would let me…


69 Mr. Beauregarde: At least spit out that damn chewing gum when you speak to me. It’s rude!


71 Violet: Camellia, that reminds me.

72 Violet: I have this whole new DATE diet planned out for us and we’ll win for sure. Try these Wonka Chocolate Covered Dates. They look mighty good!


74 Violet: Look Camellia. With this, we’re here to STAY!


76 Michelle: Hmmm, alright so this must be …. Oh, okay and then…

77 Robot Voice: Mother entering room in 5,4,3,2 …

78 Michelle: Ugh, what does she want now?


80 Mrs. Teavee: Michelle, didn’t I tell you to clean up your room? What are you up to now?

81 Michelle: Oh, you know, just saving the world as we know it. Nothing new!


83 Michelle: Mom, I’m trying to prove that those stupid archaeologists misinterpreted the hieroglyphics on the Rosetta Stone.

84 Michelle: If you look over here it’s obvious that… Never mind, you wouldn’t even get it.

85 Mrs. Teavee: Don’t bother trying to explain. I came to tell you that you got a letter from Yale University. This is a very prestigious school, you know.

86 Michelle: Mom, I’m busy. Just put it over there with the rest.

87 Mrs. Teavee: Honey, just open it and read it. That’s all I’m asking.

88 Michelle: Mom, I will. Not now. I’m a little busy correcting history, AGAIN!


90 Michelle: Dear Ms. Michelle Teavee, we are pleased to inform you that you have caught our school’s attention. Yale does rank among the highest of universities nationwide.

91 Despite the fact that you are still in secondary school, we are offering you a spot in our prestigious program, free of charge to learn and do all of the research on any subject.


93 Michelle: Why would I go to that second rate school? I already said no when Harvard offered me a spot.


95 Michelle: Now that I’m done with the Rosetta Stone, I think it’s time to work on figuring out the biological secret to why chocolate is so addictive.


97 Michelle: What’s this?

98 Michelle: Oh my goodness, I’ve got the Golden Ticket! This is my chance!


100 Mrs. Sultana: I don’t know how well this will work. You know how Veruca is.

101 Mr. Sultana: Well sometimes people have to make sacrifices in the name of their family.

102 Mrs. Sultana: Oh, look, here she comes…


104 Mrs. Sultana: Veruca, darling, come sit with us here.

105 Veruca: Why? I want to go to the beach. You force me to leave Morocco, the fashion capital of the world, mind you, and come to this crummy city.

106 My time should not be wasted on petty chats with the two of you.


108 Mr. Sultana: Well, that didn’t go so well.

109 Mrs. Sultana: I guess we’ll just have to wait until, oh I don’t know, you grow a backbone and act like her father!!!


111 Fabio: Hello? Is anyone here? Mr. Sultana? Mrs. Sultana?

112 Fabio: After everything I’m doing for them, they should be here kneeling down and kissing my feet. Veruca Sultana? Anyone?


114 Veruca: Did someone say my name? Who are you?

115 Fabio: Are you kidding me? You don’t know who I am? You came all the way here from Morocco and you don’t know who I am?

116 Veruca: If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the beach, so I’d appreciate it if you get out of my way.

117 Fabio: I’m Fabio, your suitor.

118 Fabio: Your suitor. Your fiancé. Your soon to be spouse.

119 Veruca: What?!

120 Fabio: Trust me. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t even be here.

121 Veruca: You’re my … my … my …

122 Fabio: I don’t really want to, but my family agreed to this arranged marriage to raise our social status. And your family desperately needs our money.

123 Veruca: What? I am NOT poor!

124 Fabio: You have already bled your parents dry.

125 Veruca: I can’t give up my lifestyle! How will I survive without my manicurist, masseuse, stylist, and personal chef?

126 Fabio: Well, you will still have that if you agree to the marriage.


128 Veruca: A present already? What? Wonka chocolate? How low class. Do you want me… do you want your new wife to get fat?

129 Fabio: Listen, if you want me and my money, take this.


131 Veruca: The Golden Ticket … ?


133 Italian


135 Mom: How was school today Charlie?

136 Charlie: It was fine, mom, boring as always.

137 Grandpa Joe: Hey Charlie, any luck with the golden ticket?

138 Charlie: No such luck, Grandpa Joe. You know our family has no money to spare on chocolate bars!

139 Mom: Let’s just listen to the radio and maybe you will feel better.


141 Radio: … and the fifth golden ticket has been found. However, its authenticity has not been verified …


143 Grandpa Joe: I’m sorry, Charlie.

144 Charlie: It’s okay Grandpa Joe, honest! I didn’t want the ticket that bad anyway. I better go to my room now.

145 Grandpa Joe: Wait, Charlie! Here, I saved this little bit of money for a special occasion…

146 Well, I think today counts as one, so why don’t you go buy me a chocolate bar, I could use some right about now. And buy one for yourself also.


148 Charlie: Thanks, Grandpa Joe!

149 All: Bye, Charlie.


151 Store Owner: Hello, friendly people!

152 Charlie: Can I have two Gooey Chocolate Wonka bars please?

153 Store Owner: Sure thing.


155 Store Owner: AHEM!


157 Woman: Take a look, take a look!

158 Man: Did you hear that the last ticket was a fraud?!!?

159 Woman: So there is one more ticket left!?


161 Store Owner: Hello again!

162 Charlie: On second thought, can I have one more candy bar for on the go?

163 Store Owner: Certainly!


165 Woman: Did you know that the last ticket was a fraud?

166 Store Owner: You mean there is one more ticket left? I wonder who will win the last one…

167 Woman: Oh my goodness, that boy has the last golden ticket! I’ll give you anything for it! What do you want? A cell phone? A Playstation?

168 Store Owner: Run, Charlie, run all the way home and don’t look back!


170 Grandpa Joe: Charlie, are you okay? Why are you running in?

171 Charlie: Sorry, grandpa … BUT IT’S THE GOLDEN TICKET!

172 Grandpa Joe: Charlie, stop pulling my leg, the last one was found.

173 Charlie: No grandpa. It was a fake! The last one is here! In my hand!

174 Grandpa: Let me see that. WAHOOOO!

175 Mom: Let me take a look. Meet Wonka at the Chocolate factory at 9 AM sharp … one lucky holder will receive a lifetime supply of chocolate. Oh my!

176 Grandma: We could use the chocolate and open a shop, and sell all of the chocolate and make millions!

177 Grandpa: I can get new teeth!

178 Grandma: I can get new glasses!

179 Everyone: We’re all going be rich!


181 Charlie: You may take one person to accompany you. Grandpa Joe, I want you to come.

182 Grandpa Joe: I’d be delighted Charlie, We’ve got the golden ticket!


184 Portuguese


186 Reporter: Well, this is it. The historic day on which Wonka has promised to open his gates, and 5 lucky children will enter for the first time ever …

187 All these people have gathered for that magical time when the gates open and we get a chance to see the master of all candies, Mr. Willy Wonka.

188 Mr. Beauregarde: Hello everyone, Sam Beauregarde here. The next time you're in Miles City, Montana, …

189 Mr. Beauregarde: … don't forget to visit Beauregarde's Camel Mart for all the cheapest prices on all your camel needs ….

190 Violet: Dad stop it, this is my chance to shine.

191 Veruca: I want to go in first before anybody else.

192 Mr. Sultana: Alright sweetheart.


194 Mrs. Gloop: There’ll be plenty of that later.

195 Charlie: Grandpa Joe, I can’t believe it. We’re actually about to go in.

196 Grandpa Joe: Not only that, we’re going to see one of the most magical places ever, with the best tour guide for it possible, Mr. Willy Wonka himself!


198 Wonka: Thank you everyone. Now may the five ticket holders please step forward?


200 Mr. Sultana: Alright, everyone step back. Veruca goes in first.

201 Wonka: Welcome. I’m glad to see your young faces, and today is going to be extremely exciting. Before I go into details, present your tickets and tell me your name.


203 Veruca: Hi, my name is Veruca Sultana.

204 Wonka: My dear Veruca, what a pleasure. And Mr. Sultana, a pleasure to meet you, sir. Would you just step over there for a minute?


206 Augustus: Augustus Gloop.

207 Wonka: Augustus, nice to see a boy in such fine shape. And this must be the charming Mrs. Gloop. Just over there, you two.


209 Violet: Violet Beauregarde.

210 Wonka: Darling child, welcome to the factory.

211 Violet: What kind of gum you got here? And do you have anything for camels?

212 Wonka: My dear sir, what a genuine pleasure.

213 Wonka: Only the best kind of gum. Even the kind made JUST for camels.

214 Mr. Beauregarde: Sam Beauregarde here, Mr. Wonka.

215 Wonka: My good man it’s a pleasure to meet you


217 Michelle: I'm Michelle Teavee.

218 Wonka: Well nice to meet…

219 Michelle: It was perfectly obvious that you were faking an injury earlier …

220 … If you are going to fake a limp, I suggest that you place more pressure on your tibia, as if you injured your patella. Look here on my iPad.

221 Wonka: Wonderful to meet you and Mrs. Teavee, I assume. You have such a creative little one. Please step over there. And what’s your name, little guy?


223 Charlie: Charlie Bucket.

224 Wonka: Ah Charlie, I heard all about you over the papers. Congratulations on finding the ticket. And who’s this young man with you?

225 Charlie: My grandfather, Grandpa Joe.


227 Wonka: Now that we are all acquainted, are we ready to enter the factory? Yes? Good! Then in we go!


229 Tagalog


231 Mrs. Gloop: Oh my goodness! Is that what I think it is in the river?!

232 Wonka: No, no, no. You must be mistaken. It's not polluted, it's CHOCOLATE!


234 Grandpa Joe: A chocolate river?! That's the most fascinating thing I've ever seen!

235 Wonka: Our method is one of a kind considering we mix our chocolate by waterfall.


237 Charlie: Grandpa! Is it me or am I seeing multiple Snookies?

238 Grandpa Joe: Don’t be silly Charlie, of course that’s not her! Besides, she’s probably busy filming “Jersey Shore” which airs next Thursday!!

239 Charlie: Grandpa, you actually watch that show?

240 Grandpa Joe: Well, I stuck at home all day. Anyway. Concerning these little, little people, I’ve never seen such a face. One of a kind, I can tell you that.

241 Mr. Sultana: Me too. They’re rather funny looking. Hmm, what are they doing there anyway?

242 Mrs. Gloop: They? Are you insane? It’s impossible! This can't be real.

243 Wonka: This is all legit, baby. They are Oompa Loompas!

244 Group: OOMPA LOOMPAS?!

245 Wonka: Oh yes, they come straight from Loompaland.

246 Mrs. Teavee: Loompaland? There's no such place. I should know; I am a geography teacher.

247 Wonka: Well if you know so much, you would know the conditions of this terrible country. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety…

248 away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids."

249 Mr. Sultana: Vermicious Knids? What kind of nonsense is that?


251 Wonka: Well, they're climbing up their windows, snatching their people up, trying to eat them. So they had to hide their kids, hide their wives, …

252 and hide their husbands because they're eating everybody out there. And so I moved the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.


254 Augustus: Oh yum! This chocolate is so delicious, I could eat this all day!

255 Charlie: Grandpa, look at Augustus.

256 Grandpa Joe: Don’t worry, the boy won’t finish. I mean, he may have room in that beach ball of a stomach, but consuming THAT much chocolate

257 Wonka: Um, Augustus, please don’t do that! This chocolate should never be touched my human hands.


259 Mrs. Gloop: Leave Augustus alone! He’s just a human being!

260 Wonka: Oh gosh, please get out! You’re contaminating the whole river!


262 Wonka: My chocolate! My precious chocolate! My goodness!

263 Augustus: Help me! Please! I can’t swim!!


265 Veruca: With a body like that, the kid shouldn’t worry about drowning, I can tell you that.

266 Michelle: You’re absolutely right. On my iPad here, I can show you the model of his body and how its fat to muscle proportion would decrease…

267 his overall density, allowing him to easily float in something as dense as liquid chocolate.

268 Mrs. Gloop: Why are you just standing there?! Do something!

269 Wonka: Help. Operator. Burglary.

270 Grandpa Joe: Charlie, take this!

271 Charlie: Hey, fat boy! Grab onto this lollipop! Hurry!


273 Mr. Sultana: Is it just me or is he drowning?

274 Veruca: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

275 Mrs. Gloop: What are you doing just standing there? Save him!

276 Wonka: Oh it’s just too late… oh well. Let’s proceed into the next attraction, shall we?

277 Mrs. Gloop: Too late? What do you mean it’s too late?

278 Wonka: Well, there’s no way turning back. The current’s got him now.


280 Mrs. Gloop: The current?! What current? He can’t even swim!

281 Veruca: I guess he chose eating contests over sports.

282 Wonka: Well there’s no better time to learn. It’s either now or never.

283 Augustus: Help! Hellllp! HELLLP!

284 Grandpa Joe: His big buttocks are blocking all the chocolate. How will he get out?

285 Mr. Sultana: Look! He’s trying to float on the chocolate. C’mon, boy! Suck in your stomach! Suck it in!

286 Mrs. Gloop: Yes, darling, reach out your hand to me and try to grab it!


288 Mrs. Gloop: He’s gone! He’ll be floating into an ocean within seconds! Oh my poor baby…

289 Wonka: Calm down, woman! He’s not ending up in the ocean!

290 Mrs. Gloop: Then where is he going to end up?

291 Wonka: That chute leads to the fudge room, which is within the factory, so he’s going nowhere.


293 Wonka: Take Mrs. Gloop down into the fudge room. That’s where his son is. But look sharp! Or her son is bound to get boiled up.

294 Mrs. Gloop: I bet you boiled him up already!

295 Wonka: No worries dear lady. He’ll be back in no time. Just calm yourself down! Goodbye, Mrs. Gloop!


297 Burmese


299 Willy Wonka: And this would be the bubble gum room.

300 Violet: Sugary bubble gum? That’s crossed off my diet list since I’m training for one of the biggest camel races.

301 Willy Wonka: I don’t understand how bubble gum is associated with camel racing, little girl.

302 Violet: Of course not. I have to train and keep my camel in shape. I’m the top camel racer with Camellia, my camel. Too much sugar is not good …

303 … I would know as I’ve been doing this practically my whole life. I have a showcase of trophies, medals, certificates, and plenty of sponsorships.

304 Willy Wonka: Moving on. Children, does anyone know how bubble gum is made?

305 Violet: What difference does it make? Sugary bubble gum is bad for your health and teeth, which is why I’m staying away. Sugar-free gum is where it’s at.

306 Michelle: Well, bubble gum is traditionally made of chicle, a natural latex product, or synthetic rubber known as polyisobutylene.

307 Willy Wonka: That is how normal gum is made. But not Wonka gum. To tell you the truth, the ingredients for our gum have to be extremely precise….

308 … One false ingredient and it could explode right when it enters your little mouths.

309 Veruca: Isn’t that a little dramatic?

310 Charlie: Is that why our parents tell us not to swallow gum?

311 Wonka: Exactly, because if you did it would remain inside of you for the next 8 years.

312 Veruca: Are you serious? That sounds ridiculous…

313 Wonka: Yes, where do you think all of those myths started?

314 Michelle: By a crazy person …

315 Mrs. Teavee: Michelle.


317 Wonka: One of our newest creations is Extra Pep gum. It’s actually infused with adrenaline.

318 Everyone: EWWWW

319 Violet: Actually, maybe it will be perfect to give to Camellia for extra energy in a race.

320 Wonka: Don’t say anything until you try it. Would anyone want to give it a try?

321 Wonka: Well, it was worth a shot....but don’t worry. We’ve actually infused the adrenaline gum with regular flavors like strawberry, mint and cherry.

322 Violet: Oh, strawberry. That’s my favorite flavor.

323 Veruca: I thought you couldn’t chew sugary gum.

324 Violet: What? I can’t even look at it?


326 Wonka: We have millions of original flavors to mix with the Extra Pep gum … like the coconut noodle gum, inspired by Burmese cuisine …

327 It sounds weird, but it’s actually delicious. Our most experimental flavor is blueberry ice cream. It’s SO realistic, that you get brain freeze if you chew too fast!

328 Wonka: Come! Let me show you.


330 Wonka: Now it still needs to be tested more so you can’t try it yet. But take a look at it.

331 Charlie: It looks just like regular gum.

332 Grandpa Joe: Be careful, Charlie. Listen to Mr. Wonka.

333 Wonka: Sometimes you can get the most unexpected of results.

334 Violet: If I’m going to give a piece to Camellia, I should try it myself first, just to see if it works. It can’t hurt to just try one.


336 Wonka: Please stop. Don’t.

337 Michelle: That was very brave of you. What does it taste like?

338 Violet: It tastes incredible. Just like blueberry ice cream! It’s deliciously cold, just like you’re eating ice cream.

339 Veruca: Of course it does, you idiot. It’s blueberry ice cream flavor. Was the air in your big head blocking your eardrums?

340 Violet: Is it getting chilly in here?

341 Wonka: Oh no.

342 Mr. Beauregarde: What’s happening? She’s shivering. Violet, you’re turning blue!

343 Wonka: The adrenaline is making her chew extra fast, which is making the gum extra cold.

344 Violet: What do you mean? Look at how big I can blow a bubble!


346 Violet: Uh oh. Uhh ….

347 Charlie: What’s wrong?

348 Violet: I think it’s stuck.

349 Mr. Beauregarde: Hey, help my daughter! Do something!

350 Violet: Ow! Stop that! It’s stuck to my tongue!


352 Wonka: Can we get some help in here, please?


354 Willy Wonka: Take Miss Violet to the Mexican Chocolate Room. The spicy chili peppers mixed into the chocolate should thaw her out.


356 Mr. Beauregarde: Stay calm, dear! We’ll get you unstuck soon enough!


358 Spanish


360 Charlie: Grandpa, I can’t believe that another kid has disappeared. There are only three of us left now.

361 Grandpa Joe: Well, she should have listened to all the warnings.

362 Charlie: I hope they’re okay.

363 Grandpa Joe: You shouldn’t worry about them. Take care of yourself. This is a competition, remember?


365 Wonka: Come in, come in!


367 Wonka: Welcome to the Juan Valdez room.

368 Michelle: Who’s Juan Valdez?

369 Wonka: Juan Valdez produces Colombian coffee and has a donkey named Enrique.

370 Michelle: Ah, you mean the FICTIONAL character Juan Valdez, who usually appears in the National Federation of Coffee Growers of Colombia…

371 … who has been portrayed by a number of characters since 1969. See, here’s the Wikipedia entry about him right here.

372 Wonka: No, that’s the REAL Juan Valdez and his donkey. He’s been hiding here ever since the government secretly chased him …

373 … out for selling national coffee secrets. They covered it up by pretending that he’s a fictional character.

374 Veruca: And what’s he doing here?

375 Wonka: Well, he’s obviously producing the best coffee candy in the world. These one-of-a-kind hybrid coffee candy beans fall from this specially …

376 … developed tree and Juan Valdez checks every coffee bean. And if it’s good he places it on top of the pile, but if it’s bad he throws it into that hole.

377 Wonka: Come take a look.


379 Veruca: Ah! I have to get some of those special beans for Fabio. That should make him happy….

380 … And I’ll have access to all of his family’s money! Plus, that donkey is SO adorable! I have to have them both! Dad, come over here!

381 Mr. Sultana: What is it, dear?

382 Veruca: We have to get some of those hybrid coffee beans. Plus, I want to buy that donkey! Go get them for me now!

383 Wonka: I’m sorry, lovely Veruca, but these are definitely NOT for sale. Especially the donkey!

384 Juan Valdez: Is this girl crazy or what? She wants my donkey? No, no, no!

385 Veruca: Daddy! I want that tree and donkey! Get me one!! If you don’t, I’ll throw a tantrum right here!

386 Mr. Sultana: No princess, I don’t think that Mr. Wonka or Mr. Valdez would like that you take away…..

387 Veruca: I don’t care!


389 Wonka: Oompa Lompas come here and help me distract them with the dance.


391 Veruca: The donkey is mine!

392 Veruca: Nooooooooo……..

393 Mr. Sultana: What happened?

394 Juan Valdez: There goes a spoiled bean.


396 Mr. Sultana: Wait. Willy, what happened to my daughter? Where did she go?!

397 Wonka: Well … normally the bad coffee beans fall into a grinder and turned into fertilizer. But I think that it wasn’t working today, … I think.

398 Mr. Sultana: No, what do you mean “you think!” What irresponsibility!

399 Mr. Sultana: Verucaaaaaaa…


401 Wonka: For the rest of you, here is a sample of our fantastic coffee candy… and now lets go to the next room.


403 Hindi

404 Wonka: Come in, come in!


406 Michelle: Wow. What is up with all of the high tech equipment in this room? Even I’ve never seen some of this stuff before!


408 Michelle: This … looks like an iPod. Don’t tell me that that is an iPod?!

409 Wonka: This is the tech room. For this project, we’ve partnered with Apple to construct a Wonka Chocolate iPod. These iPods are edible while playing music.

410 Michelle: What? That’s impossible! How can you make chocolate iPods? How can it have flash memory, digital features, and a click wheel?

411 Wonka: It’s a patented secret. All I can tell you is that it has several layers of nano-particle chocolate. So you can eat and enjoy music with one device!

412 Charlie: That sounds wonderful!

413 Grandpa Joe: Psst. Charlie, what’s an iPod?

414 Michelle: Ew! I would never eat an iPod made of chocolate. How would all of that circuitry even taste?

415 Wonka: But that’s not even the real secret of the device.

416 Charlie: What do you mean? It seems like it’s a perfect combination!

417 Wonka: Well, our critics always complain that our Chocolate Factory has been a key reason behind the obesity epidemic in children today.

418 Michelle: I was just starting research on that myself!

419 Wonka: So … we’ve created an iPod that forces children to exercise!

420 Charlie: What? How?

421 Wonka: Through the power of subliminal messages!

422 Michelle: What? But research has shown that most of it is only a placebo effect. There’s no such thing.

423 Wonka: Well, we combined the senses of taste and hearing to instruct the iPod users to dance to the music…

424 … so people will burn calories while sucking on the chocolate iPod and listening to music.

425 Michelle: That is ridiculous! But whether or not it’s true, I still HAVE to be the first person to get one…

426 … All my Twitter followers would be so jealous of me. In fact, I think I’m going to Tweet about this right now!

427 Wonka: My dear! These are extremely sensitive secrets that can’t be leaked yet! Plus, we’re still in the middle of testing for any dangerous side effects.

428 Charlie: Did we have to go in this room?

429 Michelle: This iPod is going to revolutionize the exercise industry! In fact, it would make my research about the addictive effects of sugar…

430 obsolete. No one would even care anymore since this could solve the obesity epidemic.

431 Charlie: It’s too bad Augustus Gloop wasn’t here to try this out!

432 Grandpa Joe: I can’t stand her talking anymore! She’s just rambling on and on now about stuff I don’t even understand.

433 Mrs. Teavee: Imagine my position. I had to put up with her techno-babble for 12 years. She started talking almost as soon as she was born!

434 Wonka: Well, we can move on now to the next room then.

435 Grandpa: Maybe if we just ignore her, she will finally stop talking.


437 Michelle: If only I could get my hands on one just to see how it works.


439 Michelle: I have to figure out how this works!

440 Michelle: My body … it’s dancing on its own now!


442 Wonka: Uh oh! I told you that it was untested. Oompa Loompas, here we go again!


444 Wonka: Get out! get out!


446 Michelle: The chocolate iPod worked so much better than I expected! But … if I enjoyed just listening to the music, how good is the music WITH the chocolate?


448 Wonka: My dear! You already have us all exhausted now. And as I said before, this isn’t 100% safe to try it out yet.


450 Michelle: What’s the worst that can happen?


452 Michelle: The chocolate iPod is delicious! But oh my god! I can’t stop dancing!


454 Mrs. Teavee: Somebody help her!

455 Wonka: Oh dear. I thought that this might happen. The combination of taste and auditory subliminal messages have permanently stuck her …

456 brain into dance mode! Quickly, bring her to the Nyquil Candy room! We’ll try to put her to sleep.


458 French

459 Grandpa Joe: I can’t imagine what horrible room we’re coming into next!

460 Charlie: Look, grandpa. What’s this? Wonka … vision … glasses?


462 Grandpa Joe: Be careful, Charlie!

463 Charlie: I don’t feel any different. Wait …


465 Charlie: These chocolate commercials seem so … real.

466 Grandpa Joe: What the …?

467 Charlie: I don’t know how, but I got food out of the television!

468 Grandpa Joe: That’s amazing! But … put it back before something bad happens to you!


470 Charlie: I need to keep one of these to give to mom. She will never have to worry about the family going hungry again …

471 I don’t think Mr. Wonka would mind if I take one since he has so many.


473 Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka … Mr. Wonka …?

474 Wonka: So much to do, so much to do, Twitter, Facebook and bills … and I must answer that note from the queen.

475 Charlie: Mr. Wonka, what's going to happen to the other kids: Augustus, Veruca, Michelle?

476 Wonka: Little boy, don’t worry about it. They’ll eventually return to their lives as those naughty, annoying kids …

477 … Who knows, maybe you will all actually learn something from this experience.

478 Grandpa Joe: Um, so what do we do now, Mr. Wonka?

479 Wonka: Oh, oh yes. Sorry about that. Straight up the stairs, make a right, turn a left. Walk straight and turn left again. That takes you outside. Now … goodbye.


481 Charlie: What the heck just happened?

482 Grandpa Joe: I don't know, Charlie. But I'm about to go find out.

483 Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka?

484 Wonka: I’m busy. Please go away.

485 Grandpa Joe: I just wanted to know … when does Charlie get the lifetime supply of chocolate?

486 Wonka: He doesn't.

487 Grandpa Joe: Excuse me? Why not?

488 Wonka: Because he broke the rules.

489 Grandpa Joe: What rules? He didn’t break any rules, right Charlie? Tell him!

490 Charlie: Well, I didn’t mean to …

491 Wonka: Wrong, mister! You are WRONG! You’re a liar! A fraud! Under Section 48W of the Golden Ticket, it states quite clearly that all offers …

492 … will become void if any intellectual property is removed from the Chocolate Factory. It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal…

493 You stole Wonkavision glasses. So you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!

494 Grandpa Joe: What?! How could you even dream of killing a little boy’s dreams? You’re a monster. No, no you’re…

495 you‘re Kanye West!

496 Wonka: I said, “Good Day!” Leave! Get out!

497 Grandpa Joe: Come on, Charlie, let's get out of here. We don’t have to listen to these accusations.

498 Charlie: No, Grandpa Joe, he’s right.

499 Charlie: I thought I could help Mom find a way to feed the whole family easily. I’m sorry, Mr. Wonka. I had no right to it.


501 Oompa Loompa: Help! Help me! I’m stuck!


503 Oompa Loompa: Thank you, Thank you.

504 Charlie: Are you okay?

505 Oompa Loompa: I am now. Let me thank you. I know that you had wanted a pair of Wonkavision glasses. Here, I’ll sneak you a pair.

506 Charlie: No, it’s not right. I already gave back the other pair because I’m not supposed to have it. But thank you.


508 Wonka: Charlie my boy... you won! You did it! You did it! I knew you would. I just knew you would. Oh, Charlie, you won! You did it!


510 Wonka: I said, “YOU WON.” Ahem!


512 Wonka: Shoo!


514 Wonka: I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test. You won! You are nothing like …

515 those other children, because you actually care more for others than yourself. So now you’ve won!

516 Grandpa Joe: Wait, won what?

517 Wonka: The jackpot, you idiot, the glorious jackpot.

518 Charlie: The lifetime supply of chocolate?

519 Wonka: The chocolate, yes, the chocolate, but that's not all. The whole Chocolate Factory is yours now!

520 Charlie: What? Really?

521 Wonka: Come on already. You walk slower than my Great Aunt Shirley. This way please. We'll take the Wonkavator. …

522 Step in, Charlie. Grandpa Joe, sir. This is the Great Glass Wonkavator.

523 Grandpa Joe: It's an elevator.

524 Wonka: No, It's a Wonkavator. An elevator can only go up and down, but the Wonkavator can go sideways and slantways, longways and backways.

525 Charlie: And frontways?

526 Wonka: And any other ways that you can think of. It can take you to any room in the factory.

527 Just press a button and ZING! Go ahead, Charlie press the button.

528 Charlie: Me?

529 Wonka: Yes, you dummy, press it.


531 Wonka: There it goes. Hold on tight. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen. Here we go!















546 Dumb and Dumber




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