Presentation on theme: "Achieving Voluntary Compliance: M aking C ourtesy C ommon Presented by the College Civility Committee 2009 Achieving Voluntary Compliance: M aking C ourtesy."— Presentation transcript:
Achieving Voluntary Compliance: M aking C ourtesy C ommon Presented by the College Civility Committee 2009 Achieving Voluntary Compliance: M aking C ourtesy C ommon Presented by the College Civility Committee 2009
College Civility Committee Monroe Community College: …Making Courtesy Common
Scenario # 1 You’re walking through a crowded hallway during class change and a group of students are standing in the middle of the hall and blocking others from getting by. What do you do?
“Being civil means being constantly aware of others and weaving restraint, respect, and consideration into the very fabric of this awareness.” - P.M. Forni Co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project
? As MCC faculty or staff, what is your role as it relates to civility?
Survey Says… In a recent survey, what do you think were listed as the most common acts of incivility at MCC?
1. Stealing 2. Damaging college property 3. Harassing racial, ethnic, or gender- based comments 4. Not properly disposing of food and garbage 5. Loud and inappropriate language Top 5 concerns
What factors help create incivility?
Factors That Help Create Incivility Stress Time Personal interest Anonymity Lack of practice
Why are some people so much more successful than others at getting people to listen to them or to comply with a simple request?
The “Likeability Factor” and our ability to persuade
What are some things that help make-up our “likability factor”?
Our First Impression How quickly do people make a first impression? What image do you project?
Our Smile “Don’t open a shop, unless you like to smile.” - Chinese Proverb
or the new “Elbow shake”
Our Approachability (Use names)
Improving Your Likability Improving Your Likability Engage others in a friendly manner Talk in the other persons interest Find something good to say Help, without being asked Show gratitude and appreciation Never be mean-spirited
The Power of a Compliment A sincere compliment is one of the most effective motivational methods in existence
Spreading Kindness “Three things in human life are important; the first is to be kind, the second is to be kind, and the third is to be kind.” - Henry James
What if things heat up?
Keeping Your Cool… Listen attentively (let the person vent) Use the persons’ name Maintain a calm and sincere voice Tell the person what you “CAN” do for them Accept responsibility when warranted Involve the person in finding a solution Follow-up Ask if there is anything else you can do
Diffusing “To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the highest skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the greatest skill.” - Sun-tzu
“Verbal Judo” advice “It’s o.k. if someone insults, resists, or attacks you. Laugh it off. Show that it has no meaning, no sting. If you fight back ands resist the affront, you give it life and credibility. If you defend yourself, you invite counterattack.” - George J. Thompson, Ph.D
Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion All martial arts are based on redirection Verbal Judo is the use of words to achieve your objective The goal of persuasion is to generate voluntary compliance (making a reasonable request)
Empathy… the most powerful word in the English language em, from the Latin, means “to see through” and pathy, from the Greek, means “the eye of the other”
The ultimate empathetic sentence… “Let me be sure I heard what you just said.”
LEAPS L isten E mpathize A sk P araphrase S ummarize
Rudeness “If anything characterizes the twenty-first century, it’s our inability to restrain ourselves for the benefit of other people.” - James Katz
How do you deal with rudeness? There’s probably a cause
Tips For Approaching Others Assess the situation (Safety First) Approach the individuals(s) with respect (“Excuse me…”) Introduce yourself Allow the individual(s) to save face (spacing/posture) Speak in a pleasant tone Make a reasonable request Know when to disengage Notify Public Safety Identify witnesses and prepare to document
Setting the tone in the classroom
Scenario # 2 You’re walking through the courtyard and observe several people playing hackysack. It is a non-smoking area. Two of the players are smoking cigarettes; one of them discards their cigarette butt on the grass. What do you do?
Scenario # 3 You’re walking through the Marketplace Café and two students are using very loud and vulgar language as they argue over who is the greatest basketball player of all-time; Lebron James or Kobe Bryant. What do you do?
Scenario # 4 You are walking through the hallway connecting building 2 and building 11 (International Hall) and observe a male and female engaged in very heavy and inappropriate petting, kissing, and touching What do you do?
Scenario # 5 As a faculty member, you have a student who continually interrupts the class with cell phone calls/texting/ inappropriate comments, etc.. What do you do?
Life Is Like An Unfailing Boomerang “Our thoughts, deeds and words all return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy.” - Florence Shinn
What are we role modeling to our students on a daily basis?
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