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Inner Healing Ministering to the Inner Family MPD/DID.

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1 Inner Healing Ministering to the Inner Family MPD/DID

2 Our Commission: Isaiah 61:1-3 “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the broken hearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

3 Inner Healing Part One Outline Symptoms of a wounded self image Symptoms of a wounded self image Captivity to negative emotions Captivity to negative emotions Two types of people that need inner healing Two types of people that need inner healing Jesus example of healing Jesus example of healing Spiritual roots of deep level problems Spiritual roots of deep level problems What to look for What to look for Recalling the events of the past Recalling the events of the past Bring Christ into the memory Bring Christ into the memory Dealing with unforgiveness Dealing with unforgiveness Dealing with anger Dealing with anger The inner family and MPD/DID The inner family and MPD/DID What to do after an inner healing session What to do after an inner healing session This is available on video This is available on video

4 Dealing with memories When dealing with memories realize that God has given us the ability to repress them. This is a gift from God. When dealing with memories realize that God has given us the ability to repress them. This is a gift from God. With God’s help we can face these memories and be healed of the deep wounds. With God’s help we can face these memories and be healed of the deep wounds.

5 The Inner Family: We all have a sub-personalities that are part of us. There is the one that deals with work issues, another that plays with a young child, one that ministers, one that plays sports and even one that worships. We all have a sub-personalities that are part of us. There is the one that deals with work issues, another that plays with a young child, one that ministers, one that plays sports and even one that worships. This complexity is God-given This complexity is God-given Dissociation can be mild, such as having an “inner child” or it can be a complete separate identity that the core person may or may not be co-conscious with. Dissociation can be mild, such as having an “inner child” or it can be a complete separate identity that the core person may or may not be co-conscious with.

6 MPD Christian psychologist James Friesen states, Christian psychologist James Friesen states, “MPD usually begins in childhood in response to stress and abuse. The child encapsulates and organizes each part of herself. The resultant splits becoming personalities, each with it’s own life, history, feelings, and behaviors. Their various personalities may also have verifiable differences in physiology, neurology, and immune system characteristics, which can be proven when the multiple switches.” “MPD usually begins in childhood in response to stress and abuse. The child encapsulates and organizes each part of herself. The resultant splits becoming personalities, each with it’s own life, history, feelings, and behaviors. Their various personalities may also have verifiable differences in physiology, neurology, and immune system characteristics, which can be proven when the multiple switches.”

7 MPD “Dissociation is the most wonderful protection against pain that any child could ever develop, There could be no more effective defense-the child pretends the traumatic event happened to somebody else, and then…poof!...COMPLETELY forgets about. It is gone.”

8 MPD 1. The existence of two or more distinct personalities, each of which is dominant a particular time 2. The personality that is dominant at any particular time determines the individual’s behavior at that time 3. Each individual personality is complex and integrated with it’s own unique behavior patterns and social relationships MPD has three components:

9 The Inner Family The sub-selves often remain hidden, out of shame, anger, fear, guilt or other negative emotions. They may have been badly hurt and are unwilling to trust easily The sub-selves often remain hidden, out of shame, anger, fear, guilt or other negative emotions. They may have been badly hurt and are unwilling to trust easily They need to be assured that they will be accepted no matter what has happened to them or wheat they may have done. They need to be assured that they will be accepted no matter what has happened to them or wheat they may have done.

10 MPD It is important to recognize that each alter has been created out of a specific need It is important to recognize that each alter has been created out of a specific need In communicating love and acceptance to the inner child (or alter) it can be helpful to have the adult self to apologize for not acknowledging the existence of this inner part earlier on In communicating love and acceptance to the inner child (or alter) it can be helpful to have the adult self to apologize for not acknowledging the existence of this inner part earlier on

11 MPD 1. To know they are believed 2. To know they are safe and supported 3. To be gently helped toward the truth that the abuse was the fault of the abusers, not something they deserved 4. To affirm that it is all right to feel as they do about the abuse. Once their right to feel angry is affirmed, then we need to carefully and lovingly lead them to forgive. Multiple need…

12 Definition of Switching “Changing from one personality state to another. Sometimes accompanied by changes in physical appearance, vocal patterns, mood or level cognitive functioning. Many individuals reports experiencing severe headaches in conjunction with switching.” From The Dissociative Identity Disorder Source book by Deborah Bray Haddock

13 Why switching occurs: Body becomes stiff or stiff Body becomes stiff or stiff Person is slow to respond to others Person is slow to respond to others Things seem to move in slow-motion or fast-forward Things seem to move in slow-motion or fast-forward Emotions become flat, numb; no feelings Emotions become flat, numb; no feelings Not feeling expected pain Not feeling expected pain Out of touch with surroundings Out of touch with surroundings Drifts off, goes away, spaces out (gets spacey), blanks out, loses track of what’s happening Drifts off, goes away, spaces out (gets spacey), blanks out, loses track of what’s happening

14 Symptoms of switching: Stares off into space, blank stare Stares off into space, blank stare Downward stare Downward stare Eyes dart anxiously from side to side or roll upward Eyes dart anxiously from side to side or roll upward Faraway or dazed look Faraway or dazed look Tunes out Tunes out Not involved in present Not involved in present Feels like an observer of the present situation, rather than a participant Feels like an observer of the present situation, rather than a participant

15 Symptoms of switching: Inattentive Inattentive Memory lapses Memory lapses Fantasies, excessive daydreaming Fantasies, excessive daydreaming Over activity or withdrawal Over activity or withdrawal Is on autopilot, feels like a robot Is on autopilot, feels like a robot Falls asleep Falls asleep Disoriented Disoriented

16 Symptoms of switching: De-realization (people or the world do not seem real) De-realization (people or the world do not seem real) Feels as if watching things from outside one’s body Feels as if watching things from outside one’s body Life split before and after (I’m a different person since the trauma) Life split before and after (I’m a different person since the trauma) Twitches or grimaces Twitches or grimaces

17 Symptoms of switching: Foggy feelings (if you're suppressing traumas, you can’t focus your thoughts, your mind goes blank) Foggy feelings (if you're suppressing traumas, you can’t focus your thoughts, your mind goes blank) Unusual, inexplicable behavior (hits the ground when a car backfires) Unusual, inexplicable behavior (hits the ground when a car backfires) Self soothing (rocks back and forth) Self soothing (rocks back and forth) Things look or sound different: colors are faded or brighter, tunnel vision, wide angel view, sounds are more louder than expected, things seem far away or unclear and fogged Things look or sound different: colors are faded or brighter, tunnel vision, wide angel view, sounds are more louder than expected, things seem far away or unclear and fogged

18 Dealing with Alters These are not demons and they do not “come up and go down” These are not demons and they do not “come up and go down” Using the sword on an alter can frighten them or cause them to never surface again Using the sword on an alter can frighten them or cause them to never surface again Never be judgmental towards their attitude or what they say to you, this is who they are Never be judgmental towards their attitude or what they say to you, this is who they are What NOT to do:

19 Confronting the demonic and an alter pops up Oftentimes when dealing with the demonic they will push an alter forward, this is for the purposes of bringing further trauma to the alter. Oftentimes when dealing with the demonic they will push an alter forward, this is for the purposes of bringing further trauma to the alter. This will keep the alter from getting the inner healing needed because then they will not come forward again. This will keep the alter from getting the inner healing needed because then they will not come forward again. It’s also how demons try to hide It’s also how demons try to hide If you suspect an alter has popped up: change your facial expressions and your voice. If you suspect an alter has popped up: change your facial expressions and your voice.

20 How to bring an alter up “I want to talk to the part that is carrying the anger, or the pain.” “I want to talk to the part that is carrying the anger, or the pain.” “Thank you for being there, without you _____ would not have been able to go on.” “Thank you for being there, without you _____ would not have been able to go on.” As you look into their eyes you can often see the pain they are carrying. Acknowledge their pain and tell them how much you appreciate them. “I can see your pain, you’ve been carrying that for a long time that must be really hard.” As you look into their eyes you can often see the pain they are carrying. Acknowledge their pain and tell them how much you appreciate them. “I can see your pain, you’ve been carrying that for a long time that must be really hard.”

21 Talking with an alter Introduce yourself to the alter and tell them you want to be their friend and that they are in a safe place and there is no one here that will harm them (Don’t get hung up on being their friend, just offer it) Introduce yourself to the alter and tell them you want to be their friend and that they are in a safe place and there is no one here that will harm them (Don’t get hung up on being their friend, just offer it) Your first goal is to get them to talk with you, this can take time as often they need to build that level of trust Your first goal is to get them to talk with you, this can take time as often they need to build that level of trust

22 Talking with an alter Often times the alter may cry. Be careful not to hand them a tissue too quickly because often it will bring the core person back and you can lose the alter. By giving them a tissue can also cause them to stuff the emotions back down. If the alter looks for or reaches for a tissue then you can give it to them. Tell the alter it is okay to cry. Reassure them that they are in a safe place. Often times the alter may cry. Be careful not to hand them a tissue too quickly because often it will bring the core person back and you can lose the alter. By giving them a tissue can also cause them to stuff the emotions back down. If the alter looks for or reaches for a tissue then you can give it to them. Tell the alter it is okay to cry. Reassure them that they are in a safe place.

23 Turning on the light Ask the alter if it is dark where they are. Tell them, “I am going to turn on the light where you are, watch this, I turned on the light. (Snap your fingers)” Often the alter will blink or it seems too bright for them, ask the Lord to adjust their eyes so they can see. Ask the alter if it is dark where they are. Tell them, “I am going to turn on the light where you are, watch this, I turned on the light. (Snap your fingers)” Often the alter will blink or it seems too bright for them, ask the Lord to adjust their eyes so they can see.

24 Going to the point of the pain It is important that as a memory is being experienced that the alter feel the emotion. (Going to the point of the pain) It is important that as a memory is being experienced that the alter feel the emotion. (Going to the point of the pain) This can be difficult since the person’s coping mechanism has been to repress the memory. This can be difficult since the person’s coping mechanism has been to repress the memory.

25 Protectors There are alters in the system who are there to protect others (often younger alters) There are alters in the system who are there to protect others (often younger alters) You may need to address the protector alter before getting permission to talk to other alters in the system You may need to address the protector alter before getting permission to talk to other alters in the system Thank and praise the protector for doing such an excellent job and that you are there to help them (you are not going to take their job away) Thank and praise the protector for doing such an excellent job and that you are there to help them (you are not going to take their job away) The protector alter can also give you vital information; such as how many others are there. The protector alter can also give you vital information; such as how many others are there.

26 Dealing with young alters Be very gentle with young ones Be very gentle with young ones You may have to play with them to gain their trust You may have to play with them to gain their trust Explain to young ones (actually all the alters) that when you get a mean or angry face it’s because you are made at the devil and not at them, you don’t want to frighten them Explain to young ones (actually all the alters) that when you get a mean or angry face it’s because you are made at the devil and not at them, you don’t want to frighten them

27 Types of alters Protectors Protectors Alters that solely carry the pain Alters that solely carry the pain Alters that are designed to keep the other alters from committing suicide or harming themselves (Example: a cutter that releases the pain so that the others do not go through with killing themselves) Alters that are designed to keep the other alters from committing suicide or harming themselves (Example: a cutter that releases the pain so that the others do not go through with killing themselves) Alters that have no emotions but are there to record the events Alters that have no emotions but are there to record the events Alters that soothe, help the others Alters that soothe, help the others

28 Talking with the alter What happened? (Be patient at this point, often they are reliving the trauma) What happened? (Be patient at this point, often they are reliving the trauma) It’s okay, you are in a safe place. What’s happening? You can tell me. Did somebody hurt you? It’s okay, you are in a safe place. What’s happening? You can tell me. Did somebody hurt you?

29 Talking with the alter Find out their story, but do not push them for more than what they want to share, it may take time for them to build trust, they need to be listened to, comforted and befriended Find out their story, but do not push them for more than what they want to share, it may take time for them to build trust, they need to be listened to, comforted and befriended Allow them to express their emotions Allow them to express their emotions You will need to encourage them and ask questions about how they felt about: You will need to encourage them and ask questions about how they felt about: – Themselves – Others – God This will direct you where healing needs to occur This will direct you where healing needs to occur

30 Bring comfort to the alter Help the alter to understand that Christ was there and He protected them from even greater harm. Help the alter to understand that Christ was there and He protected them from even greater harm. Philippians 1:6b says, He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ Philippians 1:6b says, He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ

31 Bring Christ into the memory Sometimes it is hard for the alter to see Jesus in the situation due to the shame and anger they may be feeling Sometimes it is hard for the alter to see Jesus in the situation due to the shame and anger they may be feeling Guide them to understand that Jesus never blames people for their condition or what happened to them Guide them to understand that Jesus never blames people for their condition or what happened to them Jesus was hurt by it too and Jesus wants to take the painful feelings away Jesus was hurt by it too and Jesus wants to take the painful feelings away

32 Forgiveness The alter needs to forgive or be forgiven for what they’ve done The alter needs to forgive or be forgiven for what they’ve done As Jesus forgives them they are also to forgive As Jesus forgives them they are also to forgive It can be very difficult for an alter to forgive, explain to them that it is not about feelings… It can be very difficult for an alter to forgive, explain to them that it is not about feelings…

33 Jesus was there Jesus was present during every moment of a person’s life. Jesus was present during every moment of a person’s life. He is in our present, our past and our future. He is in our present, our past and our future. He is intimately involved in every detail of our life whether we recognize and respond to Him. He is intimately involved in every detail of our life whether we recognize and respond to Him. Hebrews 13:8 Hebrews 13:8 John 1:1-3 John 1:1-3 Colossians 1:16-17 Colossians 1:16-17

34 Leading the alter to Christ If possible lead each alter to Christ. This may take time as you build the relationship. They will be more willing to listen to what you have to say if they get to know you. If possible lead each alter to Christ. This may take time as you build the relationship. They will be more willing to listen to what you have to say if they get to know you. Ask them, “Do you know who Jesus is?” Explain to them that Jesus is the one who will heal all their hurts and pain. Ask them, “Do you know who Jesus is?” Explain to them that Jesus is the one who will heal all their hurts and pain.

35 Leading the alter to Christ All you have to do is to say “Jesus” and He will bring you an angel of love, an angel of peace and an angel of joy that will never ever leave you. Would you like that? All you have to do is to say “Jesus” and He will bring you an angel of love, an angel of peace and an angel of joy that will never ever leave you. Would you like that? Once the alter says, “Jesus” then describe each angel as them come to surround the alter Once the alter says, “Jesus” then describe each angel as them come to surround the alter

36 Jesus takes the hurts and pain away At this point you want to introduce the alter to Jesus. “Jesus is here and He wants to take your hurt and pain away from you. All you have to do is give them to Jesus. Jesus is holding out His hands. As you give Him your pain, I want you to name them as you give them to Jesus. Encourage the alter, “You are doing a good job, is there any other pain? What about _____?” Sometimes they need a little prompting, just to be sure they then say it as they give it to Jesus. At this point you want to introduce the alter to Jesus. “Jesus is here and He wants to take your hurt and pain away from you. All you have to do is give them to Jesus. Jesus is holding out His hands. As you give Him your pain, I want you to name them as you give them to Jesus. Encourage the alter, “You are doing a good job, is there any other pain? What about _____?” Sometimes they need a little prompting, just to be sure they then say it as they give it to Jesus.

37 Jesus removes the hurts and pain Once they have placed all their hurt and pain in Jesus’ hands say, “Watch this, Jesus takes all of your hurts and pain and throws them over His shoulder into the sea of forgetfulness and you no longer have to carry them. They are all gone.” Once they have placed all their hurt and pain in Jesus’ hands say, “Watch this, Jesus takes all of your hurts and pain and throws them over His shoulder into the sea of forgetfulness and you no longer have to carry them. They are all gone.”

38 Jesus ministers to the alter Jesus wants to talk to you. Do see Him? (some alters can visualize readily others it is more difficult; if they don’t then tell them “Jesus is standing next to you and He wants to tell you something, listen to what He has to say.” When He is done let me know. Jesus wants to talk to you. Do see Him? (some alters can visualize readily others it is more difficult; if they don’t then tell them “Jesus is standing next to you and He wants to tell you something, listen to what He has to say.” When He is done let me know. As they are listening, be thanking Jesus. As they are listening, be thanking Jesus. Check in from time to time, ask them if Jesus is still talking. Check in from time to time, ask them if Jesus is still talking. Once they are done ask them, “What did Jesus say?” Once they are done ask them, “What did Jesus say?”

39 Equip the alter After Jesus speaks to the alter then allow Jesus to give the alter a gift. You can allow the Lord to choose the gift He gives. If the alter is young or has a hard time seeing the gift that the Lord has you can help. After Jesus speaks to the alter then allow Jesus to give the alter a gift. You can allow the Lord to choose the gift He gives. If the alter is young or has a hard time seeing the gift that the Lord has you can help. Give the alter a little baby lamb to hold and take care of. (It can be their favorite animal too) Give the alter a little baby lamb to hold and take care of. (It can be their favorite animal too) Other gifts that the Lord can give: Other gifts that the Lord can give: – Necklaces (with words on them telling them they will never be alone, no fear, etc) – Medals (of love, peace…) – Buckets (filled with joy, faith, etc) – Flowers (example: roses for the love Jesus has for them)

40 Jesus is the supply Jesus can supply comfort in distress Jesus can supply comfort in distress Jesus will always be there in the place of loneliness Jesus will always be there in the place of loneliness Jesus give them love and acceptance in place of rejection Jesus give them love and acceptance in place of rejection Jesus give them the freedom to cry or grieve Jesus give them the freedom to cry or grieve Jesus will give them attention to remedy neglect Jesus will give them attention to remedy neglect Jesus gives hope and forgiveness in place of hopelessness and self-condemnation. Jesus gives hope and forgiveness in place of hopelessness and self-condemnation. Its all about Jesus! Its all about Jesus!

41 Create a Safe Place Due to the trauma and pain that the alter has gone through it is important to create a safe place for them to go to (often this did not exist in their life) Due to the trauma and pain that the alter has gone through it is important to create a safe place for them to go to (often this did not exist in their life) This is where the alters can go if they feel threatened or unsafe This is where the alters can go if they feel threatened or unsafe

42 Building the safe place Build the safe place, start with two walls in the front and the back, add the two sides. Put a roof on, put in a door, add windows. Build the safe place, start with two walls in the front and the back, add the two sides. Put a roof on, put in a door, add windows. Inside there is green grass, blue sky, white fluffy clouds, a stream, a table with dome snacks, crayons, etc. for the young alters. Inside there is green grass, blue sky, white fluffy clouds, a stream, a table with dome snacks, crayons, etc. for the young alters. Give the alter the keys to the door to keep. Often a protector alter will hold the keys. Give the alter the keys to the door to keep. Often a protector alter will hold the keys. They can be with Jesus in this place, all they have to do is call His name. They can be with Jesus in this place, all they have to do is call His name. Nothing can hurt them while they are there Nothing can hurt them while they are there

43 Invite other alters to accept Jesus Ask the alter if there are any others in the system that want to come into the safe place. “All they have to say is Jesus.” Then wait and see if anyone says Jesus. Allow time for any alters to come forward. Ask the alter if there are any others in the system that want to come into the safe place. “All they have to say is Jesus.” Then wait and see if anyone says Jesus. Allow time for any alters to come forward. This will let you know that there are others that will need to be ministered to. This will let you know that there are others that will need to be ministered to.

44 The System The system will be very unique to each individual The system will be very unique to each individual You are going to want to have the core person start mapping out their system, use circles, squares, colors, etc. You are going to want to have the core person start mapping out their system, use circles, squares, colors, etc. Include the name, the trauma, the age of the alter, any assignments and gifts received, you can include a list of the demonic Include the name, the trauma, the age of the alter, any assignments and gifts received, you can include a list of the demonic

45 The System Once inner healing begins then you will want to encourage the alters to get to know each other in the system as well as having the core get to know each alter Once inner healing begins then you will want to encourage the alters to get to know each other in the system as well as having the core get to know each alter You will want to have the core person thank each alter for being there and have the core begin a relationship with each one, the core may even need to apologize for not appreciating or for not knowing that the alter was even there in the first place You will want to have the core person thank each alter for being there and have the core begin a relationship with each one, the core may even need to apologize for not appreciating or for not knowing that the alter was even there in the first place

46 Revival a.k.a Rival 10 year old Elizabeth 2 year old Cutter Rape/Abuse Self Hate 6 year old 16 year old 19 year old 20 year old 22 year old 29 year old 33 year old 36 year old The Watcher 29 year old Car accident cc The Boss 8 year old Anger Protector Little Karen 5 year old a.k.a. Holly Fear cc Non-verbal young one Rejection 6 months Abby Kimberly 2 year old Sweet Pea 3 year old Cindy 4 year old Karen Core 46 year old Forgotten Name Faith a.k.a Denial Recorder Remedy Pours Peace Carried the pain Preservation Protector 13 year old Heather Raped by counselor at horse camp Hannah 13 year old Attempted rape Sonbeam (horse) Christina Grief 13 year old cc Sarah Generational Alter 16 year old Grief death of own child cc Joseph Generational Alter False Idol Worship cc Sandy 16 year old Anorexia cc K.C. Keeper of Chastity 21 year old cutter Joy a.k.a. Sad 8 year old SARA Rachel 9 year old SARA Crystal 7 year old SARA Jenny 9 year old SARA Pamela 9 ½ year old SARA 26 year old Mary Rape by a “John” 21 year old raped by Pastor

47 Self care and coping strategies Increase internal communication among parts by writing a journal, mapping your internal system, holding internal family meetings regularly Increase internal communication among parts by writing a journal, mapping your internal system, holding internal family meetings regularly Develop a basic safety plan and put it in writing Develop a basic safety plan and put it in writing Create note cards to sue when feeling overwhelmed or in need of encouragement Create note cards to sue when feeling overwhelmed or in need of encouragement Practice nurturing, respecting, and expressing gratitude to internal parts Practice nurturing, respecting, and expressing gratitude to internal parts Collect objects that are soothing and empowering and carry them with you Collect objects that are soothing and empowering and carry them with you Let support people know what is helpful for you Let support people know what is helpful for you Use prayer imagery for managing feelings Use prayer imagery for managing feelings Read the bible and other inspirational books for encouragement and grounding Read the bible and other inspirational books for encouragement and grounding Exercise to improve mood and overall sense of well-being Exercise to improve mood and overall sense of well-being

48 Support Network Therapist Therapist Friends Friends Family Family DWJD Team member DWJD Team member Members from a support group Members from a support group A crisis line if your therapist knows of a good one A crisis line if your therapist knows of a good one

49 Questions Collect index cards Collect index cards Please include future topics on inner healing you would like covered Please include future topics on inner healing you would like covered


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