Presentation on theme: "Overcoming Fear in Having Confronting Conversations in the Workplace – More Than a Matter of Semantics. Presented by Lisaanne Markowitz November 19, 2003."— Presentation transcript:
Overcoming Fear in Having Confronting Conversations in the Workplace – More Than a Matter of Semantics. Presented by Lisaanne Markowitz November 19, 2003 – MTI Cruise
Aim of Presentation To consider a different approach in finding value for and marketing MTI’s Workplace Mediations models. To define the differences between confronting and confrontation. To consider the impact that the different connotations of these two words can have on individuals when they find themselves facing difficult conversations. To examine why people fear confronting conversations and their typical responses to them. To review useful strategies to overcome fear in having confronting conversations in the workplace.
Agenda Consider this – moments that require a confronting conversation. You’re not alone. Brainstorm the meaning of confrontation. Brainstorm why we avoid might avoid confront. Reasons we avoid confrontation. Typical responses to confrontation. Strategies for overcoming the fear in initiating confronting conversations in the workplace.
Moments that Require a Confronting Conversation Consider a confrontation between you and another that did not go well. Past or present. How willing were you to confront the situation? How did you go about confronting the situation? How did the other go about confronting the situation? What were the outcomes of the situation? In retrospect,how might you have handled the situation differently?
You’re Not Alone Teaching Conflict Management, Negotiation, Mediation, Facilitation and Coaching. Manager as Mediator and Self as Mediator Time spent on what conflict is, how to recognize it and how to resolve it – but how much time do we spend considering why we resist resolving it in the first place. Even with all my training and experience, I sometimes fear confronting others. Do any of you ever share the same sense of dread?
A Call for Sensitivity and Understanding It is critical to our success as practioners in the field of conflict prevention and management: To develop a keen sensitivity and understanding to the amount of stress and struggle experienced by many of our clients, training participants, colleagues in the workplace – any individual who is seeking our assistance - in having to initiate or participate in a face-to-face exchange that they anticipate will end in a confrontation.
Confrontation = Brainstorm what words or phrases you associate with the word confrontation. Put on flipchart.
Confrontation vs., Confronting – Not One in the Same - Is it Semantics? A Confrontation is a hostile disagreement face-to-face between two or more individuals. Confronting means to bring forth, to come face – to – face with another. Perhaps we fear confronting conversations because we perceive them to be one and the same as a confrontation. Perhaps we fear confronting conversations because we fear that we will engage in a confrontation with another and that the outcome will end badly.
Avoiding Confronting Conversations? Brainstorm why we might avoid initiating a confronting conversation? Put on flipchart.
Reasons we Avoid Confronting Conversations We associate so many of our own negative emotions with it and have a fear that we will cause negative feelings in others. Some have a need to be nice and not hurt feelings. For some, confronting or being confronted in the past did not go well. - It was not well received or some have created fear in others in having a confrontation because of their addiction to criticism – to find fault, place blame – to say you are wrong instead of telling their “truth” with compassion and good intentions. For many confronting feels like a verbal attack. Consider your own responses in the opening exercise. Some employees don’t think they have the right to initiate a confronting conversation - permission. Some employees don’t think that they know how to handle a confronting conversation – capability/skill.
Typical Responses to Confrontation. To become passive and withdraw. Take the offensive and strike back. Make excuses and defend behavior – maybe yours, maybe theirs.
The Alternative and Benefits of Confronting Conversations In the workplace, what are some typical outcomes to situations where a confronting conversation should have happened, needed to happen but never happened? What are some possible benefits in having a confronting conversation?
Moments that Require a Confronting Conversation Consider a confrontation between you and another that did not go well. Past or present. In retrospect, what could you have done to handle the situation differently? - Back to our first question.
Strategies to Overcome Fear in Having Confronting Conversations in the Workplace Consider the following: Your own comfort level in handling difficult conversations. Your usual approach and style for having confronting conversations and the origin for that style – tend to avoid it, make excuses for yours or the others behavior or meet it head on as soon as a difficult moment arises. How you like to be spoken to and/or our addressed when differences and difficulties arise in your personal and professional relationships. How important others like to be spoken to and/or our addressed when differences and difficulties arise in their personal and professional relationships.
Strategies to Overcome Fear in Having Confronting Conversations in the Workplace Consider the following: The alternatives of not having the confronting conversation with those who you are interdependent with in the workplace. In many ways ways initiating confronting conversations with others in the workplace is a mix between feeling capable to handle the confronting conversation and feeling as if you have permission to request another to participate in a confronting conversation with you.
Strategies to Overcome Fear in Having Confronting Conversations in the Workplace It has been said that 80% of negotiation is preparation, the same can be said for having confronting conversations. Tools to prepare – the MTI approach for managing workplace conflict. A comprehensive and empowering approach that sets you up for successful outcomes – so that you feel both able to initiate and capable to handle the confronting conversation.
The MTI Approach to Handling Confronting Conversations
The MTI Approach to Handling Confronting Conversations – An Aim of this Presentation To consider a different approach in finding value for and marketing MTI’s Workplace Mediations models. In light of this presentation, did you and if yes - how so and/or in what ways did you find a new or different value for MTI’s Workplace Mediation models? How might you use the concept of confronting conversations as a tool to market or explain the MTI approach to your potential clients or as part of a MAM and SAM training? What were some key learning’s from this presentation? How might you use these learning’s in the work you do with others?