Presentation on theme: "Exploding the Moment Using Second by Second Details or Character Thoughts to Explode the Moment."— Presentation transcript:
Exploding the Moment Using Second by Second Details or Character Thoughts to Explode the Moment
Exploding the Moment What is it? When a moment is slowed waaaay down for the purpose of painting a frame-by- frame picture for your reader… (can be very suspenseful) Snapshots Thought-shots Flashbacks Flashforwards Present thoughts-character commentary
I was close to the wall facing away from the direction I’d come, toward unexplored realms. The extinguished flashlight was now cool in my hand, but the pistol felt hot. The longer the quiet lasted the more it seemed bottomless. Soon it was an abyss in which I imagined myself drifting down, down, like a deep sea diver festooned with lead weights. I listened so hard that I was half convinced I could hear the fine hairs vibrating in my ear canals. Yet I could hear only one sound, and it was strictly internal: the thick liquid thud of my own heartbeat, faster than normal but not racing. Seconds passed without a noise or a sudden wedge of light from an opening farther along the corridor. I was about to switch on the flashlight again when a second of superstitious dread passed through me. I was unable to see anything at all, but I was sure that I could feel some presence in front of me. Obviously, my nuclear imagination was nearing meltdown. I told my self that this feeling was not real and I felt ashamed that I didn’t have the guts to switch on the flashlight. Now my heart was racing. I was disgusted. If I didn’t get control of myself I would have to spend the rest of my life sleeping under my bed, just to make sure the bogeyman didn’t slip beneath the box springs while I was dreaming. Holding the unlit flashlight in a tight circle of thumb and forefinger, with my other three fingers extended, intending to prove that my superstitious dread held no basis in fact, I reached forward into the tomb perfect darkness. And touched a face. The scene below took place in 5 seconds.
“He walked through the doorway.” He grasped the cold doorknob and turned it slowly to the right. He pushed the door inward. The hinges squeaked and cold air rushed past the opening door. The room was dark. He darted his eyes to the right. Nothing. He pushed the door open a little farther, and slowly moved his right foot into the room. His shoe creaked a bit as it hit the polished hardwood floor. Discuss How could you explode: She looked under the bed.
Exploding the Moment I woke up late this morning--as usual. I had no clean clothes and the fridge was next to bare. Traffic was heavy as I sped to work. Some jerk cut me off and I almost had a wreck. At work I went to my desk and there was a note to go and see the boss. I waited outside her office for a while before she called me in. I couldn’t figure out why she wanted to see me. I went inside and sat down. My boss handed me an envelope. She told me that my services were no longer needed and that I was free to go. I got my belongings from my desk and left. The drive home was quick. I am now unemployed.
Exploding the Moment SSome jerk cut me off and I almost had a wreck. SSome jerk cut me off and I almost had a wreck. I hate people who can’t drive. I decided to teach him a little lesson by playing near bumper cars with his bright red 300 ZX. He kept hitting his brakes, and eventually even shook a fist of rage at me. I giggled gleefully-- kind of like that lady in Fried Green Tomatoes who got immense pleasure from repeatedly rear-ending the car of the person who had stolen her parking space. Space is crucial, and that jerk will probably think twice before he cuts into mine again.
Select a sentence Explode that sentence Provide your reader with a frame-by- frame picture of the action (details) Provide your reader with insights into the character’s thoughts Remember the practice we have been doing on word choice and use very vivid words.
Exploding the Moment 1.I woke up late this morning--as usual. 2.I had no clean clothes and the fridge was next to bare. 3.At work I went to my desk and there was a note to go and see the boss. 4.I went inside and sat down. My boss handed me an envelope. 5.I got my belongings from my desk and left.
I stood at the precipice of Google, and, as my finger hovered over the mouse, I could feel the tension sweeping over my skin. Should I cheat and copy someone else's work? A bead of sweat formed on my brow. It would not hurt anyone if I were to copy. My left eye twitched; then my gaze hardened. My finger continued to approach the left mouse button, made contact, and I pressed copy. I dragged the mouse, letter by letter, across the work I was stealing as I became more firm in my purpose. Right click was faster, more decisive now, PASTE I selected from the list. The moment of indecision over, time began to flow again while I smiled at the page of captured words, lifted against the will of their author. My thieving work here is done. I sat for a minute trying to think of something to write and then realized it would be easier to steal it from the internet.
With a heavy heart, Oscar crossed the bridge. Write at least 5 sentences to explode the moment above. Remember that the moment shouldn't start before the bridge or include any action after the bridge. Try to add some figurative language.
The lamp fell and broke into a million pieces. My mother walked into the room and surveyed the damage. I knew I was in trouble. More Practice Explode the Moment