Conflict is Healthy! Conflict is like pain Don’t have to like it But it serves a purpose Tells you that something needs fixing So fix it Don’t view negotiations as a sign of (or penalty for) failure… look at it as an opportunity for improvement
The MarriageSimilarities? Long term Know secrets about each other Share collective memory of their joint past history The big difference? YOU CAN’T GET A DIVORCE!!! Even if the people change, the “units” are still in the relationship
TRADITIONAL PROBLEM SOLVING HAS TWO COMPONENTS POWER & PUNISHMENT
Power & PunishmentPOWER: 1. The ability to keep something. 2. The ability to take something. PUNISHMENT: 3.The ability to inflict punishment. 4.The ability to withstand punishment 4.The ability to withstand punishment.
The Three Ring Circus- Power, Rights, Interests POWERRIGHTS INTERESTS
POWER RESOURCES: High SATISFACTION: One-Sided COMPLIANCE: As long as power is applied RELATIONSHIP: Risk of destruction STRIKES
RIGHTS RESOURCES: Generally costly RESOURCES: Generally costly SATISFACTION: Mixed COMPLIANCE: Until better opportunity comes RELATIONSHIP: Game playing ARBITRATION
INTERESTS RESOURCES: Time, talent SATISFACTION: Both interests satisfied COMPLIANCE: Very durable RELATIONSHIP: Mutual respect, partnership INTEREST-BASED BARGAINGING
Problem Solving Process To avoid overt or subtle domination of the team by high status persons or strong personalities. To generate a large number of potential solutions. To generate ways to discuss and analyze ideas without threatening those who presented the ideas. To set priorities among possible solutions in a way that is consistent with consensus decision making. To set personal responsibilities for follow-up actions, and to share these responsibilities
Interest Based Bargaining A training program to increase your ability to bargain more effectively by turning face-to-face confrontation into side-by-side problem solving. Goals – Participants will be given: An overview of the IBB process An overview of the IBB process An opportunity to experience the process An opportunity to experience the process
P.A.S.T. MODEL Principles Steps Assumptions Techniques
PRINCIPLES Focus on issues not personalities Focus on interests not positions Create options to satisfy both mutual and separate interests Evaluate options with standards, not power
ASSUMPTIONS Both parties have the right to exist Every interest is legitimate Both parties can have their interests met Problem solving enhances relationships Parties should help each other Open discussion expands mutual interests and options Standards can replace power relative to solutions Solutions are more durable and sustainable
Identify issues Identify interests Develop options Develop standards Apply standards to options Achieve a mutual gain agreement STEPS
TECHNIQUES Consensus Brainstorming Idea Charting Understanding Differences Effective Communications
Step 1: Identify Issues An issue is whatever the problem is that we are trying to solve. Examples: Scheduling Overtime Work Assignments Leave Time Issues are Neutral
To Start the Process What happened When did it happen Who is involved How does it make us feel Tell the Story
During the Story… HonorPerceptions of Others Describe, don’t Characterize or blame Clarify Seek Perceptions, Texture, Background Record for Group Memory
Step 2: Identify Interests (not positions ) Intangible motivations: needs, desires, concerns and fears Discover by asking WHY??? Are behind your positions
Positions are Mutually Exclusive, but Interests are NOT… Position Taking Precludes Discovery of Mutual Interests and Options
Example:POSITION I must have work hours from 8:30 A.M. to 3:00 P.M. INTEREST I am concerned about my child, who will be home alone after school until I get home.
What’s the Difference?POSITION One party’s proposed solution to an issue; THE HOW INTEREST One party’s concern, need, desire, fear or hope behind an issue; THE WHY
Exercise A Distinguishing Position Statements from Interest Statements
A Position Statement Focuses on a particular solution, Focuses on a particular solution, Makes a demand, and Makes a demand, and Sets up confrontation before the problem had been clearly defined. Sets up confrontation before the problem had been clearly defined. An Interest Statement Focuses on the problem, Focuses on the problem, Articulates one of a range of needs, and Articulates one of a range of needs, and Establishes a climate and common language so the real issue/problem can be understood, discussed and negotiated. Establishes a climate and common language so the real issue/problem can be understood, discussed and negotiated.
Converting Positions to Interests If a demand, solution, proposal, or position appears on your interest list, convert it to an interest by asking what problem it is trying to solve or what concern it is intended to address. Determined best by review of THE STORY……
Rules of Brainstorming Understand IDEAS not offers/proposals Combine, expand hitch- hike ideas Go for quantity and variety Make no criticism Always review rules before brainstorming Everyone has the opportunity to suggest Record for group memory Be free-wheeling: use imagination – take risks
Definition of Consensus A group reaches consensus when all members agree upon a single alternative, and each group member can honestly say: I believe that you understand my point of view and that I understood yours. Whether or not I prefer this decision, I support it because: – It was reached fairly and openly, and – It is the best solution for us at this time. 70% rule…
Our Definition…. “A decision everyone can live with.”
Creating Consensus Horse Trade Change your mind to get along Argue for an idea just because it’s yours Listen Actively Listen Actively Listen to ALL Ideas Listen to ALL Ideas Yield to reason not to pressure Yield to reason not to pressure Encourage participation Encourage participation Share information Share information Combine ideas creatively Combine ideas creatively Look for mutual gains approaches Look for mutual gains approachesBUTDON’T
Benefits of Consensus Builds trust Builds trust Build ownership of decisions Build ownership of decisions Builds support and lessens opposition Builds support and lessens opposition Eases implementation of changes Eases implementation of changes Is very powerful Is very powerful
Testing for Consensus Has everyone been heard? Is there anyone who can’t live with the proposed solution? Dissenter obligations: Explain why; and Propose solution building on or modifying proposed solution Another Simple Test
No one just gives in; No one gets all they want; Not always a compromise; But the best solution for us at this time.
You can’t always get what you want, But if you try sometimes… You just might find… You get what you need. ~Mick Jagger
Communication The Key to Making the Process Work
CONTEXT Sender Message Medium Receiver Feedback
Feedback The Most Important Part! Feedback is how people know they are communicating; without it, the sender doesn’t know if: o The receiver got the message. o The receiver understood the message. o The receiver agrees or disagrees with the message. o The receiver will react or respond.
I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant…
Communication That Works Active Listening Depersonalization Collaborative Attitude Look for emotion as well as information Strive to understand Provide feedback to indicate understanding Separate the person from the problem Be objective Look for common ground Respect others’ opinions and interests
Communication That Does NOT Work Avoidance Mind reading Assuming others think like you Criticizing the message Pulling rank coercion Interrupting Hopefulness Over-reacting Redirecting responsibility Rehearsing responses
Negative Effects Bad Communications Misunderstanding and bad relationships Hurt feelings Lack of consensus Status quo
Non-Verbal Communication What to look for: Open posture Open posture Attentive attitude (the nod) Attentive attitude (the nod) Positive signals Positive signals What to look out for: Folded armsFolded arms Hands covering mouthHands covering mouth Hands at the ear, nose, mouth, throatHands at the ear, nose, mouth, throat Praying handsPraying hands Clenched fistsClenched fists Hands behind headHands behind head Hands over faceHands over face Others???Others???