6 Conflict is Healthy! Conflict is like pain Don’t have to like itBut it serves a purposeTells you that something needs fixingSo fix itDon’t view negotiations as a sign of(or penalty for) failure…look at it as an opportunity for improvement
7 The Marriage Similarities? Long term Know secrets about each other Share collective memory of their joint past historyThe big difference?YOU CAN’T GET A DIVORCE!!!Even if the people change, the “units” are still in the relationship
8 TRADITIONAL PROBLEM SOLVING HAS TWO COMPONENTS POWER & PUNISHMENT
9 Power & Punishment POWER: 1. The ability to keep something. 2. The ability to take something.PUNISHMENT:The ability to inflict punishment.The ability to withstand punishment.
10 The Three Ring Circus- Power, Rights, Interests
11 POWER RESOURCES: High SATISFACTION: One-Sided COMPLIANCE: As long as power is appliedRELATIONSHIP: Risk of destructionSTRIKES
12 RIGHTS RESOURCES: Generally costly SATISFACTION: Mixed COMPLIANCE: Until better opportunity comesRELATIONSHIP: Game playingARBITRATION
13 INTERESTS RESOURCES: Time, talent SATISFACTION: Both interests satisfiedCOMPLIANCE: Very durableRELATIONSHIP: Mutual respect, partnershipINTEREST-BASED BARGAINGING
20 Problem Solving Process To avoid overt or subtle domination of the team by high status persons or strong personalities.To generate a large number of potential solutions.To generate ways to discuss and analyze ideas without threatening those who presented the ideas.To set priorities among possible solutions in a way that is consistent with consensus decision making.To set personal responsibilities for follow-up actions, and to share these responsibilities
21 Interest Based Bargaining A training program to increase your ability to bargain more effectively by turning face-to-face confrontation into side-by-side problem solving.Goals – Participants will be given:An overview of the IBB processAn opportunity to experience the process
23 PRINCIPLES Focus on issues not personalities Focus on interests not positionsCreate options to satisfy both mutual and separate interestsEvaluate options with standards, not power
24 ASSUMPTIONS Both parties have the right to exist Every interest is legitimateBoth parties can have their interests metProblem solving enhances relationshipsParties should help each otherOpen discussion expands mutual interests and optionsStandards can replace power relative to solutionsSolutions are more durable and sustainable
25 STEPS Identify issues Identify interests Develop options Develop standardsApply standards to optionsAchieve a mutual gain agreement
28 An issue is whatever the problem is that we are trying to solve. Step 1: Identify IssuesAn issue is whatever the problem is that we are trying to solve.Examples:SchedulingOvertimeWork AssignmentsLeave TimeIssues are Neutral
29 To Start the Process How does it make us feel Tell the Story What happenedWhen did it happenWho is involvedHow does it make us feel
30 Seek Perceptions, Texture, During the Story…HonorPerceptionsof OthersSeek Perceptions, Texture,BackgroundDescribe, don’tCharacterize or blameRecord forGroup MemoryClarify
31 Step 2: Identify Interests (not positions)Intangible motivations: needs, desires, concerns and fearsDiscover by askingWHY???Are behind yourpositions
32 Positions are Mutually Exclusive, but Interests are NOT… Position Taking Precludes Discovery of Mutual Interests and Options
33 I must have work hours from 8:30 A.M. to 3:00 P.M. Example:POSITIONINTERESTI must have work hours from 8:30 A.M. to 3:00 P.M.I am concerned about my child, who will be home alone after school until I get home.
34 One party’s proposed solution to an issue; THE HOW What’s the Difference?INTERESTPOSITIONOne party’s proposed solution to an issue; THE HOWOne party’s concern, need, desire, fear or hope behind an issue; THE WHY
35 Distinguishing Position Statements from Interest Statements Exercise ADistinguishing Position Statements from Interest Statements
36 A Position Statement An Interest Statement Focuses on a particular solution,Makes a demand, andSets up confrontation before the problem had been clearly defined.Focuses on the problem,Articulates one of a range of needs, andEstablishes a climate and common language so the real issue/problem can be understood, discussed and negotiated.
37 Converting Positions to Interests If a demand, solution, proposal, or position appears on your interest list, convert it to an interest by asking what problem it is trying to solve or what concern it is intended to address. Determined best by review of THE STORY……
41 Rules of Brainstorming Always review rules before brainstormingEveryone has the opportunity to suggestRecord for group memoryBe free-wheeling: use imagination – take risksUnderstand IDEAS not offers/proposalsCombine, expand hitch-hike ideasGo for quantity and varietyMake no criticism
48 Definition of Consensus A group reaches consensus when all members agree upon a single alternative, and each group member can honestly say:I believe that you understand my point of viewand that I understood yours.Whether or not I prefer this decision, I support it because:It was reached fairly and openly, andIt is the best solution for us at this time.70% rule…
49 “A decision everyone can live with.” Our Definition….“A decision everyone can live with.”
50 Creating Consensus Listen Actively Listen to ALL Ideas BUT Yield to reason not to pressureEncourage participationShare informationCombine ideas creativelyLook for mutual gains approachesBUTDON’THorse TradeChange your mind to get alongArgue for an idea just because it’s yours
51 Benefits of Consensus Builds trust Build ownership of decisions Builds support and lessens oppositionEases implementation of changesIs very powerful
53 Testing for Consensus Has everyone been heard? Is there anyone who can’t live with the proposed solution?Dissenter obligations:Explain why; andPropose solution building on or modifying proposed solutionAnother Simple Test
54 No one gets all they want; Not always a compromise; No one just gives in;No one gets all they want;Not always a compromise;But the best solution for us at this time.
55 You can’t always get what you want, But if you try sometimes… You just might find…You get what you need.~Mick Jagger
60 Feedback The Most Important Part! Feedback is how people know they are communicating; without it, the sender doesn’t know if:The receiver got the message.The receiver understood the message.The receiver agrees or disagreeswith the message.The receiver will react or respond.
61 I know you believe youunderstand what youthink I said, but I amnot sure you realizethat what you heard isnot what I meant…
68 Communication That Works Active ListeningLook for emotion as well as informationStrive to understandProvide feedback to indicate understandingDepersonalizationSeparate the person from the problemBe objectiveCollaborative AttitudeLook for common groundRespect others’ opinions and interests
70 Communication That Does NOT Work AvoidanceMind readingAssuming others think like youCriticizing the messagePulling rank coercionInterruptingHopefulnessOver-reactingRedirecting responsibilityRehearsing responses
71 Negative Effects Bad Communications Misunderstanding and bad relationshipsHurt feelingsLack of consensusStatus quo
72 Non-Verbal Communication What to look out for:Folded armsHands covering mouthHands at the ear, nose, mouth, throatPraying handsClenched fistsHands behind headHands over faceOthers???What to look for:Open postureAttentive attitude (the nod)Positive signals