Garrett Peterson DNP, RN, CRNA

Garrett Peterson DNP, RN, CRNA
Choosing Civility Garrett Peterson DNP, RN, CRNA

Civility Project Dr. P.M. Forni Johns Hopkins Professor
Co-founder of “Johns Hopkins Civility Project” Assessing the significance of civility, manners, and politeness in contemport society. Now called “The Civility Initiative at Johns Hopkins” directed by Dr. Forni Wrote “Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct” 2002

Choosing Civility Code of decency and behavior based on respect, restraint, and responsibility that we call “civility” We are not “flawlessly civil people” Measuring our success in life is the way we treat others Lessen the burden of living, refrain from adding to misery We develop thoughtfulness, foster effective self-expression and communication The concepts of civility are not new They will help us enhance our commitment to values If we are working on these concepts, we are open to change It should help you look at life in a new life changing way And we know, times are always changing

What is Civility? “To be fully human, we must be able to imagine others' hurt and relate it to the hurt we would experience if we were in their place” Dr. Forni Life is difficult, but not unbearable We have the ability to manage our own actions and emotion Life is what our relationships make of it To learn to be happy, we must learn to live well with others.

What Civility means to you?
Respect for others Consideration Courtesy Tact Decency Fairness Manners Kindness Self-Control Concern Justice Selflessness Etiquette Equality Honesty Trustworthiness Moderation Listening What does civility mean to you? Tells us 4 things Civility is complex Civility is good Whatever civility might be, it has to do with courtesy, politeness, and good manners Civility belongs in the realm of ethics Being Civil means we are constantly aware of others and using restraint, respect and consideration into this awareness. It also involves active interest into the well being of our communities and concern for the health of the planet on which we live

Respect in Action Respect of others can be difficult
We can do it!!! Our ability to identify with others, and feel what they feel EMPATHY NO action of ours is with without consequences for others NO action of ours is with without consequences for others We learn to act in a responsible and caring way The byproduct of doing justice to others is the enrichment of our own lives Harmonious and caring relationships foster a happy life. In order to build relationships we need the respect, consideration and kindness that we easily grant to and receive from our fellow humans when we are civil

Happiness and the Mind The Happiness of your life depend upon the quality of your thoughts Marcus Aurelius

Civility and Self-Expression
Restraint offers a space between intention and actions and the opportunity to protect others from actions or reactions that should exist only in your imagination - Stephanie Dowrick Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength Eric Hoffer Restraint is an infusion of thinking - and thoughtfulness – into everything we do. We choose the behavior that, although it may not seem the most gratifying now, will makes us feel good five minutes from now, tomorrow, or next year. Restraint is the art of feeling good later. In fact, most of life’s wisdom is about choosing what will make us feel good later Practicing civility may limit our immediate gratification. That’s why we are tempted to be rude.

The Science of Love and Social Support
When you feel loved, nurtured, cared for, supported, and intimate, you are much more likely to be happier and healthier. You have a much lower risk of getting sick and, if you do, a much greater chance of surviving – Dean Ornish

About the RULES We have a choice about how we behave, and that means we have the choice to opt for civility and grace - Dwight Currie

The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct

#1 Pay Attention When we pay attention We are alert to the world
We improve the quality of our responses We improve the quality of our lives We improve the lives of those around us When we pay attention, we do justice to the presence of others in our lives When I show you are worthy of my attention, I am acknowledging and honoring your worth

Acknowledge others existence Their importance to you Their feelings
The things they do for you Comes in many forms Remembering someones name Paying a thoughtful complement Holding a door open to let someone through Thanks or just saying hello to someone This is the most basic form of acknowledgement Without telling you, it means that YOU EXIST, and this matters to me. If you practice this everyday, but then one day you do not do it, the other person may think what has happened that caused you to not say hello. Remember…….our greetings to each other may be more cheerful one day and less another, but it always performs a crucial job Doing these things will acknowledge people as “persons” As we do this, it invites others to do the same, This is civility At times we are unavailable to other, sometimes we need to recharge, but don’t play the invisibility gave, pretending someone is not there.

#3 Think the BEST It is a decent thing to do!
When we approach others assuming they are good, honest, and sensitive, we often encourage them to be just that If you think the best of others, it will show them they are good human beings, interested in pursing knowledge and willingness to work hard We might be as courteous to a man as we are to a picture, which we are willing to give the advantage of a good light - Ralph Waldo Emerson We judge others unfairly when we have dissatisfaction with ourselves It may be difficult to think the best of others especially in new situations such as a change at work, new boss etc. Are you making someone threatening in your mind for no objective reason Need to evaluate the person apart from the situation Give him/her a fair chance..this would be benefit of the doubt If you think the best of others, it will boost the quality of your life Help you establish rapport with others that would often remain strangers But be careful, it could make you vulnerable Having a positive attitude doesn’t mean that you should trust just anybody with your life If people let you down, don’t rush to judgement, but also don’t disregard what happened. You may decide to tell people who have dissappointed you about your discontent. Be FRANK IF you do, it gives the other person a chance to learn something about themselves

#4 Listen Interested in their words and therefore their feelings
We value the message and the messenger What prevents us from listening well? We are focusing on ourselves and our own needs This is what we do when we interrupt “Seize the limelight” Rudely pushing others off-stage “Disregard and proceed pattern” Much of the conflict in our lives can be explained by one simple but unhappy fact: we don’t really listen to each other - Michael P. Nichols By taking control over the conversational flow, it makes us feel that we have control over our partners in speech. Similar to narcissism Disregard and proceed pattern, common in the work place, among competitive people. When someone finishes a sentence or thought, you have no license to leave it unacknowledged as you rush to utter one of your own. Being a good listener can assist you in really understanding the person correctly and taking the time to ask a question if you need something clarified.

#4 Listen We are ineffective when we let our past experiences interfere with our attention we should be giving in the present Three components of good listening Plan your listening Show that you are listening Be a cooperative listener We often let what we know, or what we think we know alter the perception of what the other person is telling us at the moment But we do not just listen with the past in mind but also the future. Instead of listening to the speaker, we are thinking on the outcome of our verbal exchange. Now we don’t have to disregard the past or future goals we have but as listeners we have an obligation to concentrate on just listening before doing anything else. Good listening 3 components Plan your listening (Your goal is to stay focused on the present) Say to yourself, I am going to listen now This is the time to just listen I am going to make time to listen Silence is a tool of choice. Show you are listening Establish eye contact Move your body to face the other person Give occassional nods Say, yes, right, I understand, I know, I see Restate what you have heard Cooperative listening means separating what is important from what is not Use open ended questions How do you feel about that What are the alternatives What do you think will help Withhold your opinions and advice. voice them only if you have a clear sense that it is what the person expects you to do. Same rule applies to when you are giving advice. When we find the strength to be considerate when listening, we are in fact expressing ourselves…….at our best

#5 Be Inclusive We want to be accepted by others
We pleasure in the feeling of belonging to a group Part of our identity is shaped by and within groups We find shelter, meaning and direction Attitudes and words that exclude rather than include are rarely funny, most often they hurt We need to be careful never to engage in self serving, unfair and mean-spirited strategies of exclusion Being inclusive = respect Example of high schollers and snubbing by others, Cliques in the workplace, although allegience to a team is important, you must be able to work with others outside the group

#5 Be Inclusive Reevaluate your dislikes. Are they all warranted?
Try speaking and listening to someone you never liked Make an effort to spend time with someone you have always found uninteresting Summarize the contents of an ongoing conversation for a newcomer Make a new neighbor feel welcome by just stopping by to say “Welcome” Develop an interest in cultures other than your own

#6 Speak Kindly Speaking with consideration and kindness is at the heart of civil behavior Speaking in kindness improves those around you Speak at an unhurried pace Speak at a moderate volume NO matter how much you disagree, others are entitled to sympathetic understanding Speaking with consideration and kindness is at the heart of civil behavior To speak kindly, you need to constantly be aware that you are speaking to living, breathing, vulnerable human beings Speaking in kindness improves those around you It can inspire others around you It can lift the spirits and make their day more endurable Speak at an unhurried pace so you are easily understood Try to make your point as clearly as possible, AVOID getting off on a tangent. STOP when you have made your point so that others can speak in turn Solicit other input when you think it is appropriate Speak at a moderate volume (people respond to the tone of your voice) No matter where you are, no matter whom you are speaking with Loud voices is easily annoying Never yell at anybody If anger shows in the tone of your voice, explain the reasons for your feelings as rationally and sedately as possible. YOU CAN BECOME ANGRY…..but you can also be civil at the same time!!!

#6 Speak Kindly Certain profanities do offend and sometimes are painful Language containing curses and vulgar expression can be perceived as distasteful, hostile and abusive Don’t embarrass, belittle or laugh at others This is demeaning and aggressive Bragging is a ladder to “build” oneself out of words >>> confession to low self-esteem There is no such thing as bragging rights When we brag, we emphasize how much better than others we think we are

#7 Don’t Speak Ill What makes us speak ill of others?
Unsure of our own worth We don’t have what it takes Competition with others Easier to point out others problems Revenge Privy to unflattering secrets Strengthening our connection with others Unsure of our own worth: we project others as less than flattering image we have of ourselves We don’t have what it takes: Finding others faults we don’t think we have Competition with others: if others shine, we want to make them look bad Easier to point out others problems: than try to solve our own problems Revenge: those who have wronged us Privy to unflattering secrets: try to raise our standing in a group, what we say can cause considerable damage Strengthening our connection with others: assume we are in the presence of good people and absent of the bad people

#7 Don’t Speak Ill Why shouldn’t we speak ill of others?
Hurts them and their reputation Others may follow and do the same Cowardly to attack those not present We may be judged by those listening to us Makes others uncomfortable or angry Those being disparaged could retaliate Could even turn violent

#7 Don’t Speak Ill What should we do when someone speaks ill of others? Leave Remain silent Say something positive about the victim Openly communicate with the attacker that you are ill at ease i.e I am not comfortable speculating or I am not comfortable discussing this

#8 Accept and Give Praise
Praise to others does not come easily We feel we are giving up control When we praise others, we feel good We can strengthen the bond with others Encourages those doing great things to continue doing so Create awareness in those who don’t feel they have wonderful gifts Nurture others self-esteem The U.S. Labor Department statistics show that feeling unappreciated at work is the leading cause of leaving a job Willingness to praise and reward is an essential asset for leaders at any level of any organization

#8 Accept and Give Praise
When given a compliment… Acknowledge with a “thank you” Don’t add self-deprecating remarks Oh, I am not sure that I was that good Never solicit more praise than was given or expand on a compliment I was good, wasn’t I If given a compliment that is not yours, give credit where credit is due Don’t pay a compliment unless it is sincere Don’t refrain from paying a compliment thinking your feelings are already known Don’t confuse complimenting with patronizing Don’t hasten to reciprocate a compliment Be specific on your compliment Appreciation and recognition are at the top of the lists employees rank as motivating factors in the workplace

#9 Respect Even a Subtle “No”
Someone who turns down an invitation Not taking no for an answer is a bad idea and bad form Respect the “no” Most basic form of respect Refrain from interrogation Asking why is intrusive and guilt-inducing Say…”I just want you to know that we would be glad if you were to make it” We live in a world that connects good manners to something bad (hiding of one’s real thoughts” and bad manners to something that is good (the expresssion of one’s real thoughts.) Think about this. If good manners were connected to restraint and self-control, rather than to concealment If Bad manners to intemperance and abuse, rather than to sincerity We need more good manners in our life!!

#9 Respect Even a Subtle “No”
Why is it hard to take a “no” answer? The child in us wants his/her way Often a self esteem problem Interpreted as rejection Equate “no” as a threat to our self-image

#10 Respect Others Opinions
Respecting opinions of others leads to respect of the whole person Requires: Self-esteem, self-control, sensitivity, tolerance, fairness and generosity Two ways of showing disrespect for others Telling them their opinions are crazy Assuming what we think is what they think Two ways of showing disrespect for others Telling them their opinions are crazy, stupid, worthless and the like Others are entitled to look at the world differently and when they share their views with us, they can expect a fair hearing What we believe is what we are, we tend to perceive criticism direction at our opinions as rejection At this point, people become defensive and resentment sets in putting an end to a discussion

Protocols of qualified disagreement “Yes, I agree that what you say may be true, but there are circumstances when…” “Indeed, that idea can be appealing; however…” “I don’t know, it doesn’t seem right, but perhaps there is more here than meets the eye” “Yes, but if you look at it from a different point of view” Qualified disagreement is preferable to absolute disagreement

If the opinion is offensive Reject it outright “I’m sorry, I believe this is wrong” “I disagree and find this opinion offensive” “You know, this really goes against my principles” If someone dismisses our opinion It is just plain “Rude” Make room for disagreement Invite feedback We may learn something if we just listen to opposing views We may discover that our opinion is not as good as we thought. And that it is time to change, time to expand our horizons

#11 Mind Your Body Shows respect to ourselves and others
We can offend others with our bodies How we look, smell, and what we do with them Civility of body management Begins with basic grooming habits Validates who we are Appear our best on the stage of life We often feel a sense of physical/psychological well-being

#11 Mind Your Body Essentials to good grooming
Clean, odor free body Washed hair, clean finger/toe nails Well applied makeup, clean teeth and fresh breath Think of those around you Public places Long day at work Visiting your doctor Fingers out of your nose use tissue/hankerchief Dislodging food from your teeth, don’t use fingers, use toothbrush Don’t stick a finger in your ear to collect anything real or imaginary if you need care, use qtips Mouth closed when chewing Don’t make noise with your mouth No slurping, audible chewing, smacking of the lips Cover your mouth when yawning, coughing or sneezing Don't sniffle, snort or make other unpleasant or annoying noises with your mouth Head for the bathroom when intestinal gas becomes a problem Wash your hands when heading out of the bathroom NEVER spit! Wipe your mouth clean if you have buildup in th eocrners Don’t scratch yourself Don’t chew your fingernails

#12 Be Agreeable Make an effort to complement our plans with those around us Agree once in awhile – doesn’t make you an agreeable person Cultivate agreeability Consider you may be wrong Admit you don’t know We are not expected to comply with the preferences of others in every situation of our lives. That is not civil If you are wrong, have the strength to acknowledge it openly ( this will mark a crutial point in your relationships) (this will make you more accepting of others Don’t show resentment to the other person who happens to be right

#12 Be Agreeable Listen to learn – rather than react
Less likely to attack the other person Look for possibilities of agreement You don’t have to agree with everything !! Expressing your differences Needed to strengthen our identities and show independence Sometimes we need to do this Most of the time, we don’t Keeping an open mind is a good starting point for the building of a meaningful connection Fight only those that need to be fought, steer clear of all others.

#13 Keep It Down (Rediscover Silence)
Noise Most frustrating source of annoyance Management of noise is a must People don’t seem to see that it is a problem Turn off cell phone: meetings, churches, libraries, theaters, restaurants If you intervene, take a deep breath and remain clearheaded Sometimes we need noise but it can make it difficult to think during times when performance is crucial

#14 Respect Other People’s Time
Other peoples time is valuable Punctuality is nonnegotiable Arriving on time is considerate behavior If you will be more than 5 minutes late: Call Don’t cancel appointments at the last minute Every appointment is a commitment Keep phone call short if you sense the other person is busy If you expect a lengthy call, ask if it is a good time to talk

#14 Respect Other People’s Time
Call waiting Use infrequently or with an emergency Return to current caller quickly and apologize Respect deadlines at work Don’t hold your friends hostage Get their reaction or advice then move on Don’t cut meetings short because it is convenient for you Schedule meetings when you know you will be free

#15 Respect Others People’s Space
Stand at an appropriate distance from others so that they won’t feel uncomfortable or intimidated Pay attention to others’ reactions during conversation Keep physical contact at work to a minimum Respect people’s “territory” Pay attention to others’ reactions during conversation. If they step back or cross their arms, they may be letting you know that you are standing too close. Keep physical contact at work to a minimum. To many people, being touched feels like a violation. Pay attention to others’ reactions to your touching and stop at the first sign of uneasiness. Respect people’s “territory”. In the anesthesia workroom, respect people’s workspace. Be mindful when reaching between people to use the phone, be considerate when moving about in the oversized chairs (armrests knocking into people). Keep your voice low, shouting is intrusive and annoying. In the lunch room, respect other people’s space (newspaper and lunch items In your own space). Clean up after yourself. Throw away your garbage.

#16 Apologize Earnestly When we apologize, we acknowledge that we did something wrong and work at repairing the damage. Apologies should be thoughtfully conceived, clearly stated and heartfelt. We often see pseudo-apologies. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, but I am under a lot of stress these days” Expressions like “I know how you feel”, “I’m sorry you feel that way” are another form of pseudo-apologies. Apologies should be thoughtfully conceived, clearly stated and heartfelt. They need not be long and elaborate, but should convey that we know exactly what we did that was wrong, that we understand the effects of our actions, and that we are not looking for excuses. We often see pseudo-apologies. An example of a pseudo-apology sounds like “I’m sorry I yelled at you, but I am under a lot of stress these days”. A real apology simply states that you are sorry with no excuses attached. Expressions like “I know how you feel”, “I’m sorry you feel that way” are another form of pseudo-apologies. They are frequently used in place of real apologies by those who refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

#17 Assert Yourself Assertiveness is part of a quiet but powerful interactive skill of civility At times, we find that we are unable to willing to express it Example: Being invited to an event that we really don’t want to attend We feel guilty if we reject others They might not like us anymore When we don’t assert ourselves, it adds to needless frustration in our lives

#17 Assert Yourself Saying “NO” to something is saying “YES” to ourselves We are entitled to choose saying no Allows control over our time and energy It isn’t taking away something from others but keeping something that is ours Saying a firm, solid YES or a powerful NO, we experience elation Finding strength to be assertive is rewarding. It will leave you at peace with yourself and increase the health of all your relationships

#17 Assert Yourself Arguments with friends, spouse etc
Take some time to really think how you want to respond if given a halfhearted apology Sometimes you will be bullied to “let it go” or that “it isn’t that big of a deal” 3 elements of assertiveness 1. State the description of the behavior you find objectionable 2. The disclosure of the feelings stirred in you by the behavior 3. Naming of the behavior’s effect Stick to these three elements of assertion. Stay away from counteraccusations and don’t start debating other issues, such as your personality and attitudes State you want to focus on the present concern and nother else

#17 Assert Yourself Nonassertive behavior is a health risk
Research has documents that self-neglect and overcompliance can compromise the functioning of the immune system What about being told that you blow things out of proportion or to “lighten up” or “chill out”? Here is how Dr. Forni would respond “”No, I am not going to chill out, and I’m telling you why. By telling me to chill out, you are saying that I’m overreacting, which is like saying that I shouldn’t feel the way I feel. I hope you’ll allow me to have my feelings and to express them the way I choose. Since I happen to feel strongly about this issue, there is no reason I should look the other way. I suggest that instead of making me feel bad about my reaction, you come to terms with the seriousness of your actions”

#18 Avoid Personal Questions
Getting into others peoples business Most curiosities have to do with religion, politics, money, personal relationships, health, and physical appearance. Questions that some people may perceive as intrusive. Do you believe in God? Do you go to church? Is your child baptized? Are you liberal, conservative, who did you vote for? How much do you make? How much did it cost? What is your net worth?

#18 Avoid Personal Questions
How old are you? Are you married? Are you pregnant? Did you have an affair? What are you seeing the doctor for? What kind of surgery did you have? Why are you so pale? Etc etc etc How do you respond? With civility of course I don’t feel comfortable talking about this Now is not the right time to discuss this Let’s not talk about money, if you don’t mind I prefer not to discuss personal matters I’m sorry, but I don’t see why you need to know

#19 Care for Your Guests Strive to make your guest have the best and most comfortable time when staying with you Guests shouldn’t feel that they have to earn your hospitality Dinner guest are under no obligation to help in the kitchen either before or after a meal What about guest that stay a week or more? You can expect some help from them If you let them help, they will feel more at home and not imposing on you

#19 Care for Your Guests But make time for yourself!
You don’t have to be entertaining them every second Feel free to claim time for yourself Sometimes you need a break from being the host, allowing you to recharge

#20 Be a Considerate Guest
Arrive and leave on time Don’t overstay your welcome Don’t bring surprise guests Don’t bring children if not invited NEVER assume that Fido or Boots are welcome Allergies Damage to the house

#20 Be a Considerate Guest
Respect your friends house Don’t move furniture around Make your bed each morning Don’t linger in the bathroom if it is shared and leave it clean and tidy Keep TV or music volume low Don’t wander through the house Curiosity is not a good reason to appear uninvited in your hosts’ bedrooms, study, basement, or attic. OFF LIMITS!! Return anything that you borrow When you leave, don’t take anything that doesn’t belong to you Keep a pleasant disposition and show appreciation for your hosts’ efforts even if it isn’t what you expected. Send them a thank you note when you return home Never mention any inconvenience that you experienced Speak kindly of your hosts to others Hotels and when you stay there

#21 Think Twice Before Asking for Favors
Asking for favors can be an imposition Always try to be the solver of our own problems Keep requests reasonable The system of favors works until someone ends up doing most of the asking and someone else most of the granting Refraining from favors is difficult, but not as difficult as saying “No, thank you” We are so used to relying on favors that we often forget to look for the alternative, and forget that doing work ourselves in the long run is more gratifying and satisfying

What about friends and favors? Occasional exchange of favors occurs in any friendship Friendship is about how one fells with friends, not about what on can get from them No real friendship is based on the expectation that our friends be providers of favors

Questions to ponder before asking for favors Do I need to ask for this favor or am I looking for an easy solution Is what I’m asking for ethical and legal Is it fair and reasonable to ask this of this person? Would I be comfortable granting this favor? Who else, other than me, is this going to effect? If I grant this favor, how is this going to affect my relationship with this person What if I am denied the favor?

#22 Refrain from Idle Complaints
Some complaints are warranted Incompetent salesclerk, hostile cabdriver, disruptive child, unreasonable boss etc One complains in these situations to address the current problem, but also to help those deal with the problem maker in the future Continuous or recurrent complaining is unwarranted spreading of misery It shows helplessness rather than assertiveness It is more interested in assigning blame than in finding solutions Rooted in the feeling that life is unfair Complaining projects our own dissatisfaction with how we are handling our own lives This causes us to avoid recognition of our weaknesses and mistakes and while missing the chance to bring about positive change to our lives

#22 Refrain from Idle Complaints
Idle complaining the focus is on the problems rather than solution Leads to a pessimistic outlook on life It spreads pessimism to others There are definitely problems in the world but there are also many solutions!! Think about your recurring complaints Work to eliminate them by refocusing on problem solving It will take time but you can do it

#23 Accept and Give Constructive Criticism
Giving constructive criticism when circumstances suggest is the right thing to do Intent is to help with a problem!! Not to humiliate, manipulate, or get revenge

Effective criticism Identify an issue rather than launching an attack Point out specific incident Describe what you have observed rather than uttering accusations or engage in name calling Show that you understand how the other person may feel Suggest a solution if the time is right Remain calm, kind, and empathetic Identify an issue rather than launching an attack Point out specific incident Describe what you have observed rather than uttering accusations or engage in name calling Show that you understand how the other person may feel “The same thing happened to me more than once” The focus in not on past similar situations but on the present Suggest a solution if the time is right. “if you want, we can look together for ways to present our side of the story again Remain calm, kind, and empathetic. End on a positive note “This is not the end of the world, just something to take care of”

Receiving Criticism Not all criticism is good, but it is not all bad If we reject it, we miss out on a source of knowledge and wisdom Be open minded If you are too busy building defenses, you will not be able to listen Ask is this criticism valid? Don’t argue, rather start thinking of the changes that you will make Thank them for their honest opinion Criticism makes us learn what we are unable or unwilling to learn by ourselves If the criticism is valid, accept it Don’t waste time and energy denying, or questioning your critics motives If the criticism is unwarranted, answer with “I’m afraid I can’t agree with that” or I don’t recognize myself in your characterization Don’t make your response a counterattack Be assertive, not abusive

#24 Respect the Environment and Be Gentle to Animals
Don’t litter Don’t use products that are harmful to the environment Recycle!!! Purchase recycled products Conserve water, electricity, and fuel Washing clothes – when you have a full load Turn lights off when you don’t need them Turn furnace down air off when not at home Make one trip to do all errands Ride a bike

#24 Respect the Environment and Be Gentle to Animals
Animals (how we treat animals is a measure of our character) Never neglect animals. Never use brutal force If you are not prepared to care for an animal 365 days a year……DON’T GET ONE!! Don’t give or accept animals as gifts unthinkingly Abandoning a family animal is NEVER an option Keep your animals safe Be kind to your animals

#25 Don’t Shift Responsibility and Blame
People will try to minimize his or her responsibility by blaming someone else Often the wrong party We blame family, friends, co-workers, spouses and strangers. We blame inanimate objects, God, nature and government. Parents blame educators. Educators blame parents. As long as we can adequately shift responsibility we can avoid being accountable. However, shifting blame hinders relationships, focuses our lives on negativity and stunts our personal growth.

#25 Don’t Shift Responsibility and Blame
You are accountable for your actions and your responses to other people’s action. When you fully appreciate that you will stop blaming others “When you can stop placing blame on others you will be on your way to improved psychological, physical and emotional health and well-being.” He says the first step is to take personal responsibility for your life and your decisions and appreciate the fact that you are in control of your destiny. - Dr. Neil Farber

Garrett Peterson DNP, RN, CRNA

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