Presentation on theme: "Overview of Divorce Issues. Objectives This seminar provides helpful and practical information for those experiencing all stages of a divorce or separation."— Presentation transcript:
Overview of Divorce Issues
Objectives This seminar provides helpful and practical information for those experiencing all stages of a divorce or separation Overview of the Divorce Process Mediation vs. Collaboration vs. Litigation Frequently Asked Questions about Divorce Coping Skills and Surviving the Emotional Toll New Relationships and Moving Forward with Your Life
Are you sure divorce is the answer? Can the marriage be salvaged What is best for the children? Once you have made a decision, educate yourself Right and Wrong Reasons to Get Divorced
Process of Grieving and Separating Different from grieving death Individuals reaction to grief vary Importance of feeling and expressing grief Importance of period of emotional separation
Implications of Divorce Emotional –Will it allow you to be happier? –Will it remove you from a bad relationship? –How will your life be different out of the relationship? Financial –What do you need to survive now –How will you be able to survive in the future
Serious Soul Searching Time What do you want to do now? What survival skills to you have? What unfulfilled dreams and aspirations could you realize?
Prioritizing Your Life Pay attention to all aspects of your life: –Physical –Mental –Financial –Career –Family –Friends –Personal, hobbies, interests –Spiritual
Reach out to Others Stay connected to family and friends Use professional counselors and therapists for practical advice and objectivity on sensitive issues Good time to evaluate yourself as an individual – take care of yourself first Keep doctors appointments, your workout schedule, take a class or learn a new skill
Needs vs. Wants What do you NEED to live on –Don’t make drastic changes in your standard of living. –Put together a realistic budget ASAP. Know where your money goes. What do you WANT to live with –How will your values impact how you move forward.
What positive outcomes can come from this experience? How can you reframe the experience into a positive one What image are you projecting through the divorce? –Positive or complaining –Taking control or being a victim
Legal Issues/Financial Legal –What are your legal options? Mediation Collaboration Litigation –How do you know which is best for your situation –Divorce laws vary from state to state Financial –Prepare an accurate budget –Collect & copy all document needed that you think will be important –Work with your ex for tax purposes
Mediation Both parties are willing and able to sit down and negotiate an agreement on issued of custody, child support and maintenance and division of assets using a trained mediator Can be the least costly, more expedient, less adversarial Parties must be cooperative
Collaboration Negotiation of agreement done with collaborative law attorneys involved from the beginning More costly than mediation but less than litigation. Focus is heavily on finding solutions for the family with a strong emphasis on children Useful process when there are financial or asset issues that may be more complicated such as a family business or self-employed spouse
Litigation Both spouses have attorneys who represent only their interests In cases that are not settled a judge will decide on custody, maintenance and visitation Takes ability to decide on certain issues out of your hands and gives them to the court Decisions can fall in your favor or against you
Custody Issues What is in the best interest of the children? Co-parenting and dual custody –what does it mean? Think far ahead into the future, not just a few years down the road What if…one spouse remarries, moves, changes jobs, becomes disabled Do not involve children in issues between you and your spouse
The Dream Some children hope their parent will get back together Be honest, focus on future happiness Discuss what the new family structure will be like Give kids responsibilities but don’t burden them with financial fears or uncertainty Keep traditions going or create new traditions for you and your children
Common Mistakes People Make Not advocating for themselves Getting angry and abusive Wasting energy on harboring a grudge Not knowing that if you have been married 10 years or more the wife is entitled to receive half of her husband’s social security benefit at retirement
Common Mistakes People Make (con’t) Forgetting to update wills, healthcare proxies, estate papers, beneficiaries on life insurance policies. Not being specific enough on visitation schedules. Making negative comments about the other parent to the children. Not establishing a separate financial identity by having their own bank account, credit card and credit rating.
Coping Skills & Surviving the Emotional Toll Resiliency is the key factor Expect it to me hard at times...realistic expectations Laughter is one of the keys to coping Positive self-talk only!! Re frame the situation to say why this divorce is beneficial for you
New Relationships & Moving Forward with Your Life Revisiting dating and all the various methods of meeting others What are you looking for? What can you settle with and what can you not live without Dating with children/when to introduce and when not too
WorkLife4You Resources Legal Web Service – Divorce & Separation Library – Child Custody & Visitation Library Emotional Health Web Service – Stress & Coping Library – Self-Improvement Library Child Care & Parenting Web Service – Children & Divorce Library – Single Parents Library – Working and Raising a Family Library Interactive Quizzes/Assessments Anxiety Test, Depression Test Related Web Sites HTML Articles Audio Tips and Podcasts Children & Divorce, Divorce: From Crisis to Collaboration, Living as a Divorced Parent, Low Conflict/Low Cost Divorce On Demand Webinars Building Better Relationships with Effective Communication, Resiliency series, Emotional Intelligence, Stress Management, Releasing Stress Through Relaxation, Happiness, Living a Healthy Life WorkLife4You Guides Coping with Divorce or Separation, Child Custody FAQs, Single Parenting, Managing Work and Life, Stress Management, Communication Skills for Healthy Relationships, Conflict Resolution, The Power of Positive Thinking, Happiness WorkLife4You web site
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