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Open your composition notebook. In the upper left-hand corner put the date Sept. 9, 2014. Title it “Do Now #1.” Follow the prompt: The mark of a great.

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Presentation on theme: "Open your composition notebook. In the upper left-hand corner put the date Sept. 9, 2014. Title it “Do Now #1.” Follow the prompt: The mark of a great."— Presentation transcript:

1 Open your composition notebook. In the upper left-hand corner put the date Sept. 9, Title it “Do Now #1.” Follow the prompt: The mark of a great narrative writer is their use of imagery. Through vivid description, authors are able to bring to life words on a page. As you embark on writing your UC prompt, your inner story teller will need to emerge as you provide your readers with concrete examples coupled with beautiful illustrations that help explore the topics under consideration. With this is mind, practice is key. To start the narrative journey, you and your group members must take the following bland, unimaginative description of eating gummy bears and transform it into a story filled with images. You must also create a compelling title to grab your reader’s attention.

2 “A coworker brought some gummy bears to work and I couldn’t help but eat them. I really like gummy bears a lot and they are so colorful and good. My sweet tooth won over self-control and I ate a couple handfuls. As I sat at my desk my stomach began to hurt really badly. I had to go to the restroom, but I was called into a mandatory meeting. It wasn’t long before the pain was too much so I ran to the restroom. I cannot explain how bad it was. Those gummy bears gave me really bad diarrhea. It hurt so badly. Unfortunately, I had to use the bathroom all day. Let me tell you, it was ugly. Anyway, I won’t eat those bears ever again, but you could use them for revenge on a friend.”

3 Personal Statement Adapted from resources at

4 When you tell a true, real-life story that happened to you, but it reads like fiction. Similar to something you would read in a novel, memoir, or short story. Unlike formal, academic essays, these can be engaging and fun to read—which is exactly what you want in a college application essay.

5 UC Application Essay Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from…..

6 Prompt #1 (Freshmen Applicant) Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. Read it closely. What is it asking you to do? 1.Describe one thing 2.Tell about another

7  Think of the world you come from figuratively (do not write about your hometown-no offense, but Eastvale isn’t exactly exciting).  Substitute the word “world” for the word “community”  Anything can be your world!  Mini-community of shared activities (yoga class)  People (your grandma’s kitchen making tortilla soup)  Passions or places (your bedroom, skateboarding, your job)  It says “family, community, or friends” the word or implies you write about one not all.  Do not write just about “my family” or “my school” because it is too broad and vague  Some examples from successful application essays, include  Your uncle’s magic shop where you learned to juggle  The Chess club you started at your school  The old drive-in movie theater you love to watch old films on rainy days.  Think of the world you come from figuratively (do not write about your hometown-no offense, but Eastvale isn’t exactly exciting).  Substitute the word “world” for the word “community”  Anything can be your world!  Mini-community of shared activities (yoga class)  People (your grandma’s kitchen making tortilla soup)  Passions or places (your bedroom, skateboarding, your job)  It says “family, community, or friends” the word or implies you write about one not all.  Do not write just about “my family” or “my school” because it is too broad and vague  Some examples from successful application essays, include  Your uncle’s magic shop where you learned to juggle  The Chess club you started at your school  The old drive-in movie theater you love to watch old films on rainy days.

8  Talk specifically about how you plan to apply the lessons (values, skills, ideas, insights, etc.) you learned in your world to your future.  This has the possibility to be too general & boring! It doesn’t hurt if you can show how these dreams and aspirations link to your specific college goals. For example, if your “world” is hanging out in your parent’s garage fixing an old truck, mention how the problem-solving skills you learned there will help your aspirations to be some type of engineer one day. HINT: It doesn’t hurt if you can show how these dreams and aspirations link to your specific college goals. For example, if your “world” is hanging out in your parent’s garage fixing an old truck, mention how the problem-solving skills you learned there will help your aspirations to be some type of engineer one day.  Talk specifically about how you plan to apply the lessons (values, skills, ideas, insights, etc.) you learned in your world to your future.  This has the possibility to be too general & boring! It doesn’t hurt if you can show how these dreams and aspirations link to your specific college goals. For example, if your “world” is hanging out in your parent’s garage fixing an old truck, mention how the problem-solving skills you learned there will help your aspirations to be some type of engineer one day. HINT: It doesn’t hurt if you can show how these dreams and aspirations link to your specific college goals. For example, if your “world” is hanging out in your parent’s garage fixing an old truck, mention how the problem-solving skills you learned there will help your aspirations to be some type of engineer one day. PART TWO

9 Prompt #2 (Freshmen Applicant) Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are? Read it closely. What is it asking you to do? 1.Tell one thing 2.How it makes you proud 3.How does it relate to you

10 1.Pick your topic: a quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience.Pick your topic  When writing about a talent or accomplishment, it can be challenging to keep the tone humble and likable.  But an experience gives your essay a natural, story-telling style  If that experience highlights one of your core qualities, then your essay will reveal something important and unique about you! 2.Don’t get hung up on the wording  Biggest challenge is how outrageously broad this question is.  Focus in one a topic–or the main point you want to make about yourself. 3.There is one red flag be careful about writing about “what makes you proud”  Pride can be an unattractive quality  Focus on including your ideas/thoughts/opinions on what you valued or learned 1.Pick your topic: a quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience.Pick your topic  When writing about a talent or accomplishment, it can be challenging to keep the tone humble and likable.  But an experience gives your essay a natural, story-telling style  If that experience highlights one of your core qualities, then your essay will reveal something important and unique about you! 2.Don’t get hung up on the wording  Biggest challenge is how outrageously broad this question is.  Focus in one a topic–or the main point you want to make about yourself. 3.There is one red flag be careful about writing about “what makes you proud”  Pride can be an unattractive quality  Focus on including your ideas/thoughts/opinions on what you valued or learned

11 1.The TIME I was determined…and baked a dozen banana cream pies until I got them just right. 2.The TIME I was creative…and made a hanging mobile using junk I found at the beach. 3.The TIME I was a leader…and walked a group of disabled kids down a mountain during a thunderstorm. This is what you are looking for…

12 Extra-curricular activities: dance, yoga, pool, surfing, hiking … Hobbies: chess, video games, rock collecting, cutting hair, gardening … Summer jobs: washing dishes, bagging groceries, babysitting … Family activities: cooking, camping, playing cards, arguing … Summer camp: sailing, camping, making fires, using a compass … Trips: camp outs, big cities, mission trips, volunteer activities … Time with friends: at the beach, watching movies, eating yogurt … School clubs: Spanish, GSA, chess, environmental … Your bedroom: posters on your wall, knickknacks on your dresser, souvenirs on the shelves, books on nightstand … The Internet: bookmarks in your browser, favorite lists from Tumbler, Instagram favorites, your blogs, your Vine videos …

13 My amazing mission trip The time we won the state championship Life as a chair-one violinist Making the lead in the school play Earning my Eagle Scout There can be wonderful topics within these broader achievements, but focus on the more specific moments. For instance, look for something interesting, unusual or significant that happened while you were on the mission trip, instead of just writing about the mission trip itself. That way, the mission trip will be in the background

14 Make the appropriate corrections to the following sentence. Should follow standard English conventions with proper spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar.

15 Have you ever met somebody from Twitter and when you meet they have on the same outfit they had on in their profile picture? Have you ever met someone from Twitter and when you meet they are wearing the same outfit they had on in their profile picture?

16 1.Ever means ‘at any time’ the opposite of never and is generally used as a question. 2.Because the question is about the past it needs to be in ‘present perfect’: has/have + past participle. We use this to say an action happened at an unspecified time before now. 3.Someone/somebody can be used interchangeably 4.Prepositions indicate directionality, time, or place. Since twitter is a place, the appropriate preposition is ‘from’. 5.Have on/had on (past tense) is a phrasal verb: verb + preposition  had + on

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18 1.Typically world translates to community= where 2.Helps the reader see and experience 3.Add sensory detail :  Sight  Sound  Smell  Feel  Taste

19 1.Story needs 2 parts: Character (you) and conflict (problem) 2.Problems can be anything, not necessarily a crisis or trauma  Challenge  Failure  Obstacle  Mistake  Hang-up  A Change  Fear  Obsession 3.Examples  Didn’t make the team  Obsessed with Twilight  ADHD  Don’t eat meat  Perfectionist 1.Story needs 2 parts: Character (you) and conflict (problem) 2.Problems can be anything, not necessarily a crisis or trauma  Challenge  Failure  Obstacle  Mistake  Hang-up  A Change  Fear  Obsession 3.Examples  Didn’t make the team  Obsessed with Twilight  ADHD  Don’t eat meat  Perfectionist

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