5DIG IT UP Story of the architects – pg 20-24 A déjà vu person spends time listening to what lies deep inside, looking for it, digging it up, and putting it into practice.He/She finds what lays deep in his/her heart, below the surface, and invests it in their life.
6Dig It Up A déjà vu person: Becomes aware of his/her dreams, desires, talents and other treasures of their soul.Listens to them and values them as life itself.Takes steps to develop them, beginning in very small ways.Seeks coaching and help to make them grow.
7Dig It Up Buried Treasure Causes Traumatic Events Lack of resources Lack of opportunitiesFamily cultures/lifestylesThere is no shortage of things in life that can cause you to bury yourheart and soul.
8Dig It Up A relationship A career Being part of a neighborhood or communityA fulfilling hobby or skillService and volunteer for a good causeChurch and spiritual pursuitsCreative pursuitsIt is our job to dig up whatever potential we have in whatever situation we are in,and to invest it and see it grow.
9DIG IT UP Not all things buried are treasures: Resentment Anger ConflictYour job is to dig it all up and then do one of two things with it:Sow it (Plant it, water it, fertilize it)Throw it away
11Pull The Tooth Successful people don’t hold on to bad stuff for long. They do not allow negative things to take up space – draining them of energy & resources.If tooth is infected – pull it – immediately!
12Bad Teeth Distractions Unresolved Problems Things that are not bad – but not profitable or beneficial
14Why do we hesitate? Fear of someone’s anger or hurt Fear of judgment or disapprovalFear of loosing the relationship – or loveFear of confrontingGuilty feelings when confronting or dealing with consequencesLack of knowledge or skills with conflictSelf-blameInability to let go
15What to Do Level 1: Spring Cleaning Level 2: Facing Things: Fix it or let it goPulling the tooth – getting rid of a painful problem – has added benefit of making room for a positive alternative.
17Pay Now, Play Later Play Now, Pay Later Play the MoviePay Now, Play Later Play Now, Pay Later
18Play The Movie Story – “The Watch”(pg 69-70) Déjà vu people rarely take any action without considering its future implication. They know how each scene contributes to the film’s good end.
19Questions to ask Does a particular scene alter the plot? Does it take you to a scene you don’t want to live out?Does it cause the movie to have a different ending?
20Play the Movie Lawyer story – pg 73 Is your Movie a rerun? Weightloss Unhealthy relationshipInsanity – Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.The program works if you work the program.
21Play the Movie Playing the movie = motivation preparation vision for the futureRelationshipsParentingMoralityHealth
23Do SomethingThere are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all crew. - Marshall McLuhan
24Do SomethingYou may always expect that someone else is going to make the first move to create the solution. And if they do not, you stay stuck in the problem, resentful and wishing life were treating you better. Déjà vu people ask themselves the question: What can I do to make this situation better?
25Are you driving your life, or just along for the ride? ProactivityLocus of ControlDependencyOwnership/Responsibility
26Do SomethingTo own my life means that it is mine and no other person’s. I can blame no one for what I do with it. I can blame them for what they do to me, but I cannot blame them for what I do with what they do to me. The Gift of FreedomsRelationshipsEmotional ReactionsFinancesCareerMoralityStressSpiritualityAddictionsFeelingsGuiltChoicesAttitudes
28Act Like An AntWhen you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself. Isak Dinesen
29ACT LIKE AN ANT The ant is small The activity of any individual ant seems to have little impact.They achieve their goals by taking tiny steps over time.They don’t get overwhelmed by the big picture.
30ACT LIKE AN ANT Excuses: I have never succeeded before, in spite of many attemptsThe distance from here to there is too greatThe goal is just too bigThere are too messed up to have any hopeI don’t have the skillsI don’t have the resources (money, etc.)I don’t have the time to accomplish it
32What do you think that means? Hate WellWhat do you think that means?
33HATE WELLWhat we love says what we will invest in, go for, move toward, give time and resources to, and orient ourselves toward with the best parts of who we are. Character is in part formed by what we hate, because we move to be different from whatever that is.
34Our Hatred Protects the Good HATE WEllOur Hatred Protects the GoodFirst, hate helps us to move against certain traits and issuesSecond, hate causes us to protect what we value.Third, hate moves us to destroy/get rid of the bad things that threaten the good.
35HATE WELL Hate in a way that solves problems – not creates them. Successful people move against the problem and show love and respect to the person at the same time.Immune SystemAutoimmune = the immune system starts attacking the body itself instead of the diseaseSuccessful people tend to hate in a certain way that does what a good immune system is suppose to do; it preserves life.Non-successful people often fail because their hatred is not serving them or the things that they care about. Instead, it is doing the opposite – attacking and destroying the very things they care about.
36HATE WELLI learned that if I refused to allow the really difficult people above me to get to me, and instead found out how to resolve the problems they faced, I always became valuable to them.
37You Get What You Accept T. Pence HATE WELLYou Get What You AcceptT. Pence
39Don’t Play FairPlaying fair will destroy every relationship you have in your life. What Does That Mean?
40Don’t Play FairPlaying fair means giving back what you are given: treatment - a hit, a remark, a jab….Successful people give back better than they are given.Ask yourself what is most helpfulGet past your own needGrace = unmerited/undeserved favor
42Be HumblePride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right. Ezra Taft Benson
43BE HUMBLE Soap Story – pg 189-191 Webster definition of humble: 1: not proud or haughty; not arrogant or assertive; 2: reflecting, expressing or offered in a spirit of deference or submission (a humble apology); 3 a: ranking low in a hierarchy or scale; insignificant, unpretentious, b: not costly or luxurious.Humility is not having a need to be more than you are.
44BE HUMBLE How does humility contribute to success? Humility identifies with othersHumility allows us to accept our own failures and mistakes as part of the processes itself.Successful people show kindness, understanding, and help to others who fail.Successful people admit quickly when they are wrong.Successful people receive correction and confrontation from others well
45Giving It Up and Gaining It All BE HUMBLEGiving It Up and Gaining It AllApologizeSeek to listen and understand othersGet rid of defensivenessServe the people “under” youRoot out attitude of entitlementEmbrace your weaknesses & imperfectionsUse failure as a teacher and friendBe humble
47Upset the Right PeopleI cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is try to please everybody. Herbert Bayard Swope
48UPSET THE RIGHT PEOPLEDéjà vu people do not make decisions based on the fear of other people.What you should do, and what someone’s response is going to be, are two very different issues.
49UPSET THE RIGHT PEOPLE Situations that may be tough: Firing a person Confronting a personSaying no to a request that involves time, energy, money or other resourcesSaying no because it violates one of your valuesTelling someone he/she has overstayed their welcome.Telling someone the truth that may be hard to take.Breaking up with someone you are dating
50UPSET THE RIGHT PEOPLE The Difference between hurt and harm (p 222) GuiltThere is a direct correlation with people who are out of control in their lives and their hatred of the word no. (p 226)Loss of approval or love
519 Things You Simply Must Do Do not got it alone.Receive wisdomReceive feedback and correctionFind modelsReview your patternsDeal with ImpedimentsAdd structurePractice, practice, practice and failChange your beliefsQuarantine your weaknessesPut your visions and goals on paper