1. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS? A. Loving and close B. Distant C. Cold D. Hostile
2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR PARENTS? A.Gut level B.Share ideas and opinions but not your personal issues. C.Communicate facts about others. D.Superficial E. Hostile
QUESTIONS You can text message me on Whatsapp or mobile Write on a piece of paper on your table during the seminar so that we can answer the questions
OBJECTIVES Why should we honour and obey our parents? What does obey and honour your parents mean? How should we relate to our parents? How should we communicate with our parents?
CASE STUDY1 John is a single child of a couple. He shares with his friend, ‘My parents do not seem to understand me. They treat me like an eight year old child. It is so hard to communicate with them. They simply won’t listen. How can I honour my parents who constantly nag me to do this and that and refuse to listen to my point of view?’
QUESTION Why should we obey and honour our parents when they are so demanding?
WE SHOULD OBEY AND HONOUR OUR PARENTS BECAUSE God instructs us to love and obey our parents. (Eph 6:1-2) Our parents love us. There is a promise with the commandment. (Exodus 20:12)
CASE STUDY 2 Rebecca is a fiercely independent youth, she likes to go to bed late and so often has difficulty waking up in the morning to attend school. Her parents tried to get her to go to bed early by imposing bedtime rules. Rebecca was upset because she feels that she is wide awake and functions best after midnight. She is infuriated by her parents’ midnight curfew on her internet usage. She says to her parents, “I am not going to listen to you! This is my life and I am going to do what I like with it. Keep your advice to yourself.”
WHAT DOES IT MEAN BY HONOURING OUR PARENTS? Learn to be polite and courteous It means listening to them. We must help them to trust us.
CASE STUDY 3 Mary’s father is a very successful businessman and he wants Mary to follow his footstep and study Commerce. But Mary is not keen at all. This has caused a lot of conflict within the family since Mary wants to study Arts and become a school teacher. Her parents suggest she should do law since she enjoy Arts. Mary does not want to do law. She is getting very frustrated because her parents are becoming very militant about what she should be studying at university.
QUESTION If you were Mary, how would you respond? How can Mary resolve this hostile situation?
HOW DO WE DEAL WITH COMMUNICATION GAP? We need to understand: Parents want the best for their children. Their children’s’ success are their success They feel that they know better than their children what is best for them.
SOLUTIONS Two way communications at an open, friendly, genuine level will help the situation. Explain the reason why you do not want to do law or commerce to your parents, and not just object because they suggest the idea. Willing to listen to your parents’ ideas. Pray that God will help both you and your parents to trust in his providence.
CASE STUDY 4 Jane and her brother’s parents have been fighting over the years. One night her mother told Jane that she and her father were getting a divorce. Her world was shattered. She became angry and sad at the same time. She felt that she was to be blamed for her parent’s divorce because they often argue about parenting issues. She became cold and distant towards her parents and refused to talk to them as she felt that Christians should never divorce for the bible said so.
QUESTIONS What do you think of Jane’s feeling? How should Jane deal with the situation?
HOW SHOULD WE RELATE TO ONE ANOTHER IN THE FAMILY WHEN RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN? Come to terms with our own feeling and talk to someone older and wiser. Know that this is not our fault that our parents develop relationship issues. Not to be judgemental about our parents. Accept their decision and learn to live with the situation.
SUMMARY God loves us & He commanded us to love one another. Parent chid relationship resemble our relationship with God. Mend our relationship today. Show respect and love our parents, communicate with them.