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Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive CommunicationWhat did you say?
Objectives Differentiate between coaching and counseling problemsAvoid defensiveness and disconfirmation in interpersonal communication Improve ability to apply principles of supportive communication Improve work relationships by using personal management interviews Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Communication Facts Communication ability determines promotabilityCommunication quality between managers and employees is often low 80 percent of a manager’s day is spent in verbal communication Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Effective CommunicationAccurate, complete shared meaning – what sender means is what receiver gets Supportive – relationship between sender and receiver is enhanced by communication Timely – message arrives when receiver can use information Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Relationship Between Unskillful Communication and Interpersonal RelationshipsAbrasive, insensitive, unskillful message delivery Distant, distrustful, uncaring interpersonal relationships Restricted, inaccurate information and defective communication flow 5 Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Managerial CommunicationsCoaching giving advice, direction or information to improve performance “I can help you do something better” Counseling helping someone understand and resolve a problem him/herself by displaying understanding “I can help you recognize that a problem exists” Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Obstacles to Effective Interpersonal CommunicationDEFENSIVENESS One individual feels threatened or attacked as a result of the communication Self-protection becomes paramount Energy is spent on constructing a defense rather than on listening Aggression, anger, competitiveness, and/or avoidance as a result of the communication Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Obstacles to Effective Interpersonal CommunicationsDISCONFIRMATION One individual feels incompetent, unworthy, or insignificant as a result of the communication Attempts to reestablish self-worth take precedence Energy is spent trying to portray self-importance rather than on listening Showing off, self-centered behavior, withdrawal, and/or loss of motivation are common reactions Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Supportive Communication PrinciplesProblem-oriented, not person-oriented “How can we solve this problem?” NOT “Because of you there is a problem.” Based on congruence, not incongruence “Your behavior really upset me.” NOT “Do I seem upset? No, everything’s fine.” Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Supportive Communication PrinciplesDescriptive, not evaluative “Here is what happened; here is my reaction; here is what I suggest that would be more acceptable to me.” NOT “You are wrong for doing what you did.” Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Supportive Communication PrinciplesValidating, not invalidating “I have some ideas, but do you have any suggestions?” NOT “You wouldn’t understand me, so we’ll do it my way.” Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Supportive Communication PrinciplesSpecific, not global “You interrupted me three times during the meeting.” NOT “You’re always trying to get attention.” Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Supportive Communication PrinciplesConjunctive, not disjunctive “Relating to what you just said, I’d like to discuss this.” NOT “I want to discuss this (regardless of what you want to discuss).” Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Supportive Communication PrinciplesOwned, not disowned “I’ve decided to turn down your request because….” NOT “You have a pretty good idea, but they just wouldn’t approve it.” Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Supportive Communication PrinciplesInvolves listening, not just talking “What do you think are the obstacles standing in the way of improvement?” NOT “As I said before, you make too many mistakes. You’re just not doing the job.” Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Response Types DIRECTIVE RESPONSE Generally useful when coachingNONDIRECTIVE RESPONSE Generally useful when counseling Advising, Deflecting, Probing, Reflecting OPEN RESPONSE Generally useful during early stages of discussion CLOSED RESPONSE Generally useful during later stages of discussion Advising, Deflecting, Probing, Reflecting Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 16
Personal Management Interview (PMI)Regularly scheduled, one-on-one meeting between manager and subordinate Meeting is designed to assist in continuous improvement Action items are generated and followed up Communication is supportive and two-way Generally takes about an hour Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Communicating Supportively: Behavioral GuidelinesDifferentiate between coaching and counseling situations Use problem-oriented statements Be congruent Use descriptive, not evaluative, statements Use validating statements Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
Communicating Supportively: Behavioral GuidelinesUse specific, conjunctive statements Own your statements Demonstrate supportive listening Implement a personal management interview program Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall
An Analysis of “Find Somebody Else”STATEMENT 1. Ron 2. Mike 3. Ron 4. Mike 5. Ron 6. Mike Etc.. ANALYSIS OF PRINCIPLES Tends to be evaluative, so will cause defensiveness. Owns rather than disowns feedback. Indicates defensiveness; person oriented; confrontive approach with produce defensiveness. Attempts to be problem oriented, validating, and descriptive. Still person oriented; global, not specific; non-supportive listening. Evaluative; advising rather than asking for alternatives’ implied accusations; non-specific. Defensive; non-specific; avoids discussing problem definition or problem solutions. Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 20
Copyright © 2011 Pearson Education, Inc. publishing as Prentice Hall4-1 Chapter 4: Building Relationships by Communicating Supportively 1 Developing Management.
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